Apicontent

My child, if you receive my words, and store up my commands inside yourself, by making your ear attentive to wisdom, and by turning your heart to understanding, indeed, if you call out for discernment—shout loudly for understanding—if you seek it like silver, and search for it like hidden treasure, then you will understand how to fear the Lord, and you will discover knowledge about God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding.
(Proverbs 2:1–6)

The familiar refrain throughout Proverbs is “Listen, my child….” Solomon allows us to witness a father’s loving exhortation to his children. These are tender instructions that, if obeyed, lead to good consequences. If they are not heeded, and if bad decisions are made, there are unfortunate ends. These directions work on multiple levels. That is, there is a continuum from the simple command to the nuances of choice. Full understanding, however, is not required for obedience.

Solomon’s God affirms that his children who listen to counsel and carry out his teaching will acquire wisdom. The tough words are ever motivated by the loving father. There is the sense that this advice and correction are necessary for the most success and spiritual growth. God has the words of eternal life. These words are to be accepted gratefully and applied appropriately. Obedience to this counsel allows for an ongoing relationship and open communication with the Father.

Which of your parents’ instructions still echo in your head? How important is obedience to the functioning of your family? To what life principles do you adhere? How good are you at “listening and doing?”

Wine is a mocker and strong drink is a brawler; whoever goes astray by them is not wise.
(Proverbs 20:1)

When one becomes dependent upon alcohol (and by inference other drugs) he/she becomes an unproductive member of society, and declines in wealth, spirits, and health. Drinking to excess is self-indulgence and those who wish to be effective in school or work must not be seduced by the fleeting pleasures of alcohol or drugs (Proverbs 31:6-7).

Wine is a mocker and liquor is a brawler. Addictions transform personality and exert widespread influence over behavior and one must recognize the power of alcohol and other drugs to avoid their seduction, to avoid their excesses.

Of course, it is not all who drink alcohol who fall into the conditions described in Proverbs 23:29-35, but it is they who linger over drink, making the usage of alcohol a lifestyle. That is, it is not the occasional use but the ongoing abuse of alcohol [drugs] against which Solomon warns us. The benefit from the use of these things is measurable and minimal; the loss from their abuse is immeasurable and maximal.

Do you use “recreational” alcohol/drugs? Do you need alcohol or drugs to have fun? Are drugs and/or alcohol creating problems in your life? Do you know anyone who has fallen prey to drug dependence or alcoholism?

The appetite of the sluggard craves but gets nothing, but the desire of the diligent will be abundantly satisfied.
(Proverbs 13:4)

Proverbs says much about the lazy person. Those who will not work have little place in a world which is defined by and maintained by work. A person is often characterized by his or her job and even more by diligence in that job.

Solomon characterizes the lazy person as loving his bed and sleep, being even too lethargic to eat. For him, any excuse will do, even the delusion that there may be a wild beast such as a lion in the streets! He is not persuaded by the wisdom that could prove otherwise. The lazy person lacks initiative, is not attentive, is easily dissuaded, and is marked by frequent pauses and unseen obstacles which lead to poor effort and less than successful results.

Laziness not only results in poverty but in unrealized spiritual potential and even decay. “He also that is slack in his work is brother to him that is a destroyer.” (Proverbs 18:9) Laziness results in death; idleness results in erosion of the soul and ultimate ruin. Work, on the other hand, occupies us, makes us useful, and helps provide an ongoing purpose. Diligence triumphs over genius in Solomon’s schema.

Our faculties are not to rust unburnished, our abilities are not to lie dormant. We must be awakened to full activity, using our gifts to the utmost. For there is a day of full accounting coming. It is diligence rather than brilliance, industry rather than ingeniousness, which leads to positions of influence and power. One’s life work is a gift; we are to use the gift faithfully and humbly. We are called variously, but each one is called to diligence. The greatest joy is when one uses his or her God-given gifts of mind and body, both consistently and conscientiously in service to the world.

Service opportunities are limited and those that are wasted are forever gone.

Finally, the principle of sowing and reaping is presented and it applies to every person. One must plow, sow seeds, water, weed, and fertilize to ultimately enjoy a harvest. One who does not work will not reap. (Proverbs 20:4)

What kind of a student are/were you? Do you characteristically give your best effort to a task? Do you cut corners when no one is looking? Are you taking the steps to make progress in your education/job or are you resting on laurels?

Fearing the LORD is the beginning of discernment, but fools have despised wisdom and moral instruction.
(Proverbs 1:7)

The Hebrew word that most frequently occurs in Proverbs to designate “fool” and “folly” signifies weakness but perhaps it could be best translated as “infatuation with things that are unwise.” Solomon also uses the word “fool” to designate moral as well as mental stupidity and “folly” is the lack of sensibility to all that is true and good. The term “fool” is also used in Proverbs to connote a senseless person or one who is nothing but trouble.

The goal of education is to rid one of infatuation and intrigue with unwise things. Some people, however, are bent toward pursuits which are denigrating and destructive and they are not willing to be educated as to the things of wisdom. Wise people are always learning and growing rich from the experience, whereas the infatuation of senseless men is infatuation still. (Proverbs 14:24)

In the second connotation of “fool,” which appears in the 26^th chapter so frequently, there is a spiritual lethargy and dullness. It is insensibility and insensitivity toward the wisdom of God. It is absolute foolishness to deny God’s existence; the true fool either ignores the ample evidence of the existence of God or, noting that evidence, refuses to live by God’s standards. It is further foolishness to believe that one can live apart from God, the creator and sustainer of all things. We are to live in God and God is to live in us as the sponge is in the water and the water is in the sponge. Fools do not even acknowledge their need for the Lord but the wise person acknowledges it and seeks reconciliation. (Proverbs 14:9)

Foolish actions are only temporarily pleasing. The associated “happiness” is short-lived. In Proverbs 9:1-18, Folly is a prostitute serving her guests stolen food. Whereas wisdom appeals first to the mind; Folly appeals only to the senses. The pleasures of Folly are transient; however, the satisfactions of Wisdom are eternal.

What do you regard as the “supreme good” of life? What are you doing to accomplish your chief goals? What are your weaknesses? Are any of your present ways foolish – morally unwise or spiritually dull?

Fearing the LORD is the beginning of discernment, but fools have despised wisdom and moral instruction.
(Proverbs 1:7)

At the beginning of his kingship, Solomon asked for a discerning heart to distinguish between right and wrong. He did not ask for long life, or wealth, or for the death of his enemies but for discernment. Not only was he given a great mind for administering justice, but he was also lavished with riches, honor, and a long life.

To Solomon, wisdom is thinking and living as God designed us to live. It is the appropriate application of knowledge everyday, everywhere. Solomon writes that wisdom comes from knowing and trusting God and living moment by moment in right relationship with him. Knowing God leads to the uncommon ability to view life from His perspective and to follow his path. This intimacy with the Almighty results in a very practical discernment and guide for making the best life choices: wisdom begins with love for God, which leads to a life of integrity.

Do people consider you wise? Do you think you have discernment and an understanding mind? Are you living the way you were designed to live? What are you doing to increase your wisdom? If God granted you one desire, what would you ask for?

Fearing the LORD is the beginning of discernment, but fools have despised wisdom and moral instruction.
(Proverbs 1:7)

The book of Proverbs places great emphasis on the subject of education, especially early education in the home with the parents. Solomon follows the Hebrew tradition in making religious training the responsibility of both parents, incorporating moral teaching into daily life. It is in the context of living day-by-day that children are to be taught moral principles and reverence for God. There is to be no separation between “secular” and “religious” education.

Parents are to educate a child “in the way that he should go.” (Proverbs 22:6). In the original language, the metaphor is one of feeding, suitable to one’s age. Likewise, the proper educational diet is age-appropriate. Upon maturity, one will not depart from this rigorous training and ultimately one is able to provide for his or her own educational needs such that education is a lifelong pursuit.

How much of your education came from your parents versus the school system? Relative to your own education how will you educate your children? Are you continuing to educate yourself? What are your life-long educational goals?

All a person’s ways seem right in his own opinion, but the LORD evaluates the motives. Commit your works to the LORD, and your plans will be established.
(Proverbs 16:2-3)

The Lord is the very basis of ethics, the author of right and wrong. He is ever present and his searchlight penetrates the heart; He sees and records motives. For these reasons it is important to commit all of our work efforts to him in order that he may revise and correct our purposes and establish those which are good. He is interested in our work and our business dealings. Our employment draws the attention of God; He takes notice of our comings and goings. Proverbs makes it clear that fraudulent business practices are an abomination to the living Lord.

God is the source of all abilities and gifts and he wants us to use them maximally for Him. In fact, all work is to be done to the glory of God. Work is not performed to occupy time or to earn a paycheck only but to employ our gifts to help and serve others. Work, well done, is an offering given to the Lord.

On another note, one should be very careful about cosigning a loan. Be very circumspect about accepting the obligations of a cosigned loan, even for a family member or friend. If the primary borrower defaults, the cosigner is responsible to pay off the loan. This can result in strain or loss of close relationships. Solomon especially warns against cosigning a loan for an unreliable person.

How much of your identity comes from your job? Is your employment the best use of your skill set? What are your business motives? Have you ever misrepresented the truth to get a job or close a deal? How would you rate your business ethics? Does your job bring you lasting satisfaction?

Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend, and do not enter your brother’s house in the day of your disaster; a neighbor nearby is better than a brother far away.
(Proverbs 27:10)

Proverbs reflects the striking contrast between the ancient and the modern worlds with respect to the emphasis given to being a good friend and neighbor. The connotation of the Hebrew word used here for “friends” is “those who delight in one another’s companionship.” Either they are useful to one another because each possesses a gift, which the other does not have, or they are agreeable to one another because they have certain tastes in common. In this context, friendship usually implies a certain amount of goodness; for in and of itself, it is a virtue.

Clearly presented is the fact that true friendship involves honesty toward one another. To tell lies or to slander one’s friends or neighbors is a definite offense. Secondly, true friendship involves loyalty. Loyalty is the greatest evidence of real friendship—a genuine friend or caring neighbor is by your side through the good times and the bad.   In fact, the acid test of real friendship is found on the day of adversity.

Solomon notes that friends are to edify and improve one another just as “iron sharpens iron.” (Proverbs 27:17). Further, friendships are to be maintained carefully: friendships are delicate and require ongoing care and if a friend or neighbor is wounded, one should waste no time for apology, explanation, and reconciliation. Friends should be friends for life; one is to cultivate the love of his own friends as well as the friends of his father.

How many real friends do you have? Would they consider you a true friend, as well? What could you do to increase the quantity and quality of friendships you have? Do you have accountability in your life? How will your friends eulogize you someday?

Listen, my child, to the instruction from your father, and do not forsake the teaching from your mother. For they will be like an elegant garland on your head, and like pendants around your neck.
(Proverbs 1:8-9)

Solomon outlines a contract of sorts, giving responsibilities to both parents and their children. Parents are to model integrity through their actions in the home because children learn value systems largely through observation of their parents’ actions and reactions on a daily basis. Parents are expected to teach their children and to give them guidelines for life (Proverbs 1:1-9). Parents are also to school their children in the process of decision-making: through gentle and loving guidance, rather than heavy-handed authoritarianism, parents can help children avoid the consequences of poor decisions and commitments.

In addition to teaching children the basics of daily living, the home provides the context to teach children about God. This religious education is to be life-oriented, with children taught to see God in every single aspect of life.

Throughout Proverbs, we see the parent and child as a loving unit, such that parents are not to be overly demanding, unfair, or cruel in their discipline. Discipline is for the betterment and growth of children, not to promote their anger or frustration.

Solomon also outlines expectations for children. Children are to honor their parents, showing them lifelong respect. The wise child brings peace and great joy to his parents but the foolish child brings shame, disgrace, and grief.

Do you have a healthy relationship with your parents/children? Have you forgiven your parents for their conscious and unconscious failures? What are you doing specifically to not repeat the mistakes of the past? Are you taking responsibility for your own actions or are you still blaming a “suboptimal” parent-child relationship? Are love and respect the bases for your relationships with your parents? Your children?

The one who has found a good wife has found what goodness is, and obtained a delightful gift from the LORD.
(Proverbs 18:22)

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It is a special partnership between a man and a woman where two become one flesh. It is more than friendship. It is a mystical, spiritual union.

Marriage was God’s idea and it is still His idea. Marriage was not the invention of government, it was not to maintain social order, nor was it for economic convenience; it was designed by God. Marriage can never fill the God-shaped void in our hearts, however, and no spouse can bring ongoing joy to our lives. No matter how close we are to a lover, it is still not the intimacy that we can know with God. The Lord is the bridegroom and we are to be His bride.

The intimacy of sexual intercourse is to be preserved in and reserved for marriage. Indiscriminate sexual relations carry a great price and sexual infidelity can and often does break a marriage. Unfaithfulness in marriage can bring death to all relationships. It breaks the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual bonds of intimacy between a husband and a wife. Infidelity may literally bring disease, death, as well as violent retribution from the rageful, offended spouse or lover. The goals of marriage are to have full and open communication and confidence in one another and to build up one another all of the days of life together.

Why do so many marriages go bad? How would you, your family, and your friends rate your marriage? How do you intend to make your marriage “go the distance”? What qualities do you see in the best marriages that make for success?