Anger and unforgiveness are a barrier to our relationship with the Lord and others. Choosing to forgive and love others by faith, regardless of our feelings, is God’s desire. Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights in the articles below to help teach you how to resolve anger.
How to Deal with Your Anger
Anger is a universal problem. I have observed it in the primitive cannibals in Irian Jaya, uncivilized Indians in the remote jungles of Brazil, illiterate people in tiny villages deep in the forest of Zaire, my playmates when I was a child, in my parents, church members, pastors, highly educated people, the very rich, people in government, and yes, even in myself. Call it what you will: mad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, perturbed, ticked off – all of these words represent a form of anger.
You cannot decide to be angry. You can take elaborate precautions to avoid being angry. But, alas, sooner or later anger underneath your skin is triggered by a memory, someone’s behavior, a conversation, a phone call, or a letter. It can cause your heart to beat faster, make you sweat, tense up your muscles, foul up your digestive system, alter the way you think, dictate how you act, and trigger negative words from your mouth.
There seems to be universal agreement that anger must be tamed. Yet there is vast disagreement over the cause and the cure. (read more)
Put Away Anger and Bitterness
Ephesians 4:31 instructs us to “let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you.” Maybe you struggle with some of these emotions, feeling you have a right to them because of how you’ve been treated.
But Ephesians goes on to say, “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Being kind and forgiving someone is extremely difficult when your feelings aren’t so loving! (read more)
Perfect Love Casts Out Fear
“It’s agonizing. Any gathering of people frightens me. In a traffic jam I feel like jumping out of the car and running away. I force myself to go to church and sit there with a feeling of suspense. Even a few customers lined up to buy something in my place of business frightens me. I feel trapped.”
The gentleman speaking was a college graduate and successful in business. He went on, “It started when we moved to an apartment. The people below us and beside us were noisy. We could hear their radios. They would drop things. Often another car was in my parking space. Finally, I insisted on moving to our own home. My wife wasn’t bothered at all by these things and she resisted our moving back to a home of our own, so now there is a wall building between us. (read more)
Amy was a widow – the consequence of a motorcycle accident. Her husband was killed instantly. It happened two years earlier, and she continued to grieve over the loss of her husband. He was fun-loving and outgoing. She missed his friendly, cheerful presence. She always looked forward to his coming home. They were best friends. There were no children. She now lives alone in the house they were buying. She works in the church office and loves her job. When the church doors are open, she is always there. But going home is hard and lonely. Some friends have suggested that she move out of the house and live somewhere else. Her house holds too many memories. (read more)
Escaping Difficult Situations
“Love, joy, and peace would be ours if only we could get off this island.” These were the words of a couple who found themselves in a frustrating situation.
You might identify with this couple’s statement because you’re feeling, “If I could only get out of the situation I’m in, that would do it for me. I could be happy. I could do the Lord’s work. I could love other people.” (read more)
Choose the Right Response
Are you troubled by things you’ve done, by what you’ve said to people, or by what people have said to you? Are your words typically supportive, or do you find yourself often critical, caustic or hostile? (read more)
Examples From Case Histories
Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various counseling situations. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.
A Mother-Daughter Battle
“I love Betty very much and she knows it. But why is she so rebellious?” Mrs. Grant asked me.
This mother was a sincere Christian, and her teenage daughter had been a continual object of her prayers. She could not get Betty to study, do a chore right, get along with her brother, or even eat properly. It was a mother-daughter battle, and it terribly distressed Mrs. Grant. (read more)
As to the Lord
Bart Nolan was a key designer in a large supersonic aircraft company. Some of the best features of these fast, high-flying planes originated in his creative mind. However, Bart’s boss often tinkered with the finished designs. This worried Bart; he was afraid the tinkering might someday show up as an expensive failure.
The boss took credit for a thing if it worked, and if it didn’t, he blamed Bart, who thought it only natural that he had grown to dislike the boss. (read more)
My wife and I were driving along I-95 through Florida on a beautiful, sunny afternoon. We were chatting pleasantly. The cruise control was set at 70 miles per hour and we were in the middle lane. A car on the left whizzed past us and suddenly swerved into our lane. I had to stomp quickly on the brakes to prevent a nasty accident. My wife didn’t see the car but she felt the effect of the brakes, which caused her body to lurch forward. I calmly told her what had happened. Together we watched that car weave in and out of different lanes until it was out of sight. (read more)
The Misery of Unforgiveness
A well-groomed man of nearly 60 sought me out after I had spoken at a banquet and said to me, “I’ve got a story you must hear.” I sat with him and heard an amazing testimonial to God’s grace. Here is his story (read more).