Apicontent – Page 95

34734 A Mother-Daughter Battle

“I love Betty very much and she knows it. But why is she so rebellious?” Mrs. Grant asked me.

This mother was a sincere Christian, and her teenage daughter had been a continual object of her prayers. She could not get Betty to study, do a chore right, get along with her brother, or even eat properly. It was a mother-daughter battle, and it terribly distressed Mrs. Grant. “It’s been very trying, believe me,” she said. “In coming to you, I thought you might help.”

Probing for the cause of the festering trouble, I asked what her feelings were when Betty disobeyed her.

Impatience, anger, and resentment, she confessed. “But in spite of that,” she hastened to add, “I love my daughter very much. Don’t you think I’ve proved this by the torture I’ve been through in keeping to myself the irritation she causes me?”

I guess I shocked Mrs. Grant when I said, “Your bitter feelings toward Betty prove that you do not love her.”

“How can you say such a thing?” she cried. “Doesn’t it take love to carry a cross?”

I opened my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13 and pointed out God’s description of love: Love is kind … and longsuffering. Kindness and longsuffering are fruit of the Holy Spirit produced within the surrendered Christian, I pointed out.

“Hiding your impatience and resentment does not alter the fact that these are present in your heart,” I told her. “These are not the ingredients of love. These are products of our selfish nature. You may pretend to Betty—and to yourself—that they do not exist, but they do!”

Mrs. Grant was very surprised when I traced her anguish to her efforts to act loving rather than to be loving.

“Do you mean that Betty should be allowed to get away with what she does?” she demanded.

“Not at all,” I answered. “Your daughter’s behavior must be dealt with. But before you can deal with Betty, you must deal with your own inner spirit.”

It was months before Mrs. Grant could completely give up her conviction that if only Betty would behave, Mother would be her own sweet self again. It took some time also for her to understand that if she were truly to love Betty, the impatience and resentment would have to be replaced by patience, kindness, and gentleness.

“I’m not capable of patience,” she said desperately one day. “It is so hard to be kind.”

She was right. What was in her heart just naturally came out. But, I assured her, if she repented of her bitter heart, God was ready to help.

She finally dropped her defense and asked God to give her the love she lacked. She discovered God gives all the overflowing love He is asked for, and she could deal with Betty in love, whether or not her daughter responded.

Not surprisingly, Betty did respond and their home is now the happy Christian one it should be.

34736 Act Like a Parent!

Isabel Carr complained that her problems began the day she decided to become an obedient wife. “I figured that a Christian woman ought to be subject to her husband,” she said.

And what had ten years of obedience produced? Her husband, Glenn, bowled four nights every week. He paid little attention to the children, even missing their son Dan’s high school graduation because Glenn stayed too long on the golf course. Three months ago, admitting he was growing fond of his secretary, Glenn moved out. He had not contributed a dime to the family since.

Isabel would have said nothing to anyone except that Dan was now giving her trouble. He was verbally abusive, refused to pay board even though he had a job, and stayed out late every night. His girlfriend had taken him completely away from the church.

“My 11-year-old boy and 8-year-old girl won’t mind me either,” Mrs. Carr complained.

”Mrs. Carr,” I said. “You have confused obedience with negligence. In taking refuge in what you term obedience to your husband, you have neglected your children. By doing nothing, you have encouraged Dan to follow in his father’s footsteps.”

I advised her to make Dan pay a fair board each week or live elsewhere, and also to set rules for the younger children.

“If children are going to obey, they must have limits,” I said. “And someone must see that they are enforced.” That is what is described in Proverbs 22:6, ”Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

With encouragement from me over a period of week, Isabel Carr established some standards for her household. The children griped at first, but they are tending to accept them. Even Dan is beginning to respect his mother.

Had Mrs. Carr been more objective, she would have seen herself as negligent and careless while cooperating with an equally negligent and careless husband.

I assured her that if her husband returned home, it was right for her to demand that he support his family with his money and time. Both partners should carry out their expected responsibilities.

Glenn Carr has not returned home, but the rest of the family is progressing. They are proof that a family can be saved provided even one parent starts acting like a parent.

[Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various counseling sessions with parents. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]

34330 Biblical Womanhood: Empowered by God’s Design

Biblical Womanhood: Empowered by God’s Design

Unique, beautiful, strong, smart, empathetic, creative, complex … woman. When we think of the vast amount of history surrounding womanhood, we are quickly reminded how deep and wide is the influence of this gender. Many women today are a force to be reckoned with. Not to be taken lightly or misunderstood, they are charging forward to conquer the next goal.

What does it mean to be a biblical woman? Ruth found herself with no family and no husband, picking up leftover scraps in a field in Bethlehem. Leah was given to her husband Jacob as a deceptive trick by her opportunistic father, Laban. Bathsheba was taken from her home by a king who would murder her husband. Rahab, a crafty harlot gifted with linen and dye, saved two Jewish spies from their Amorite pursuers, risking her own peril because she believed their God would save her and all of her family. Mary, a very young girl, was told by an angel not to be afraid by the news of a pregnancy she had nothing to do with. Each one of these women had circumstances thrust upon them, and yet each one made a profound impact on their life situation and the course of history.

God created man first but had a surprise for Adam. He, as God’s creation was not complete until he created … her. The woman complemented the man in every way. She completed him. Woman was designed by God to experience life, love deeply, give endlessly, and contribute creativity. Together, man and woman offered themselves as praise to their heavenly Father.

But very quickly a seed of discontentment was birthed in the heart of woman. Satan tempted her with this enticement: “God knows that when you eat from it [the tree forbidden by God] your eyes will be opened and you will be like God” (Genesis 3:5). Oh to be more! And this discontentment has been in the heart of all women since then. A need to become more, do more, and conquer more. No longer is it okay to find strength and dignity in being a kind woman, wife, or mother, the craving of “more” now consumes the minds and hearts of women everywhere. The female nature has found ways to gain power and influence through manipulation and control, devouring anyone who would get in the way of the prized goal to achieve the same status as men.

Yet in the desire to reach perfect equality, we have often sacrificed femininity, the very component that sets us apart to offer unique contributions to society. We resent being told that we can’t do it all and set out to prove everyone wrong. Many women have left their dreams of family to join the daily hustle to the top of the corporate world. But something is always cheated; family, the marriage, or even the stillness of daily intimacy with God.

Throughout scripture we see God using women in unique ways to achieve his plan using their deep emotional capacity. Zechariah and Elizabeth were way passed the age of bearing children, yet an angel appeared to Zechariah in the temple to proclaim the good news of a baby. His response? Reasonable doubt. God’s response–Zechariah could not talk for awhile. Elizabeth’s experience? The Holy Spirit came upon her when her cousin Mary came to visit, and the baby leaped within her. This was at the same time Mary’s entire world was turned upside down, and yet she grasped for peace and her heart was full of song and praise to God. Christ’s empty tomb was revealed to whom first? Women. Why? Possibly because women are driven to believe from the depth of their hearts, a God-given characteristic called emotional perception. We actually perceive our current circumstances with full connection and blind introspection, which leads to a deeper level of trust in the event actually being reality even when all of the components are not fully visible. Translation? Women often believe the best until proven wrong. Men lead believing in the innate necessity to fix or improve what they perceive as reality. Men doubt first and believe later.

The differences between men and women have actually been observed scientifically. Frontiers in Neuroscience collected data from 1,065 young healthy subjects, including 490 men and 575 women. The study was applied to the whole brain as well as specific regions, examining the difference of brain structure complexity between men and women. The results concluded the men and women appear to have different ways to encode memories, sense emotions, recognize faces, solve certain problems and make decisions.[1] There really is a difference between men and women!

God created men and women different in order for a beautiful balance to occur including completion of tasks, creativity, and contributions to society, all coming together in a holy mosaic of design. When one of the genders begins to compare and compete with the other, the diversity of thought and expression is lost, which can lead to the whole of society no longer stretching past the limits of our own views, to settling into all becoming alike. This ultimately leads to a lack of different perspectives which could challenge us to become more than we could be on our own.

So, what is biblical womanhood? Embracing who God designed you to be, emotions and all. No longer cowering away from being quick to have empathy or care for others because it’s a sign of weakness. Being fully confident in the design of woman to encompass emotion, thought, and conclusion before all the pieces are on the table. Stretching to believe in something yet not seen. Daring to be feminine in appearance though modest. Trusting in your own ability to lead outside of using your appearance as a lure for power.

As women, we need to understand that if we completely replace man in the world, we will be left feeling unfulfilled and, through the very lack of diversity we are trying to control, sameness. Be a woman, embrace your differences, use your emotions in a positive way. You are beautifully designed for the purpose God initiated in the Garden of Eden. Be the woman God created you to be.

[This article is by Amy Welch of First Fort Lauderdale Church.]

[1] “Brain Differences Between Men and Women: Evidence from Deep Learning,” 2019. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnins.2019.00185/full.

34100 Relationship Starts With You

How do you find inner peace? What is it that brings true happiness? If you’re ready to find the source of true peace, contemplate the principles outlined in the following articles and you’ll discover how to have the peacefulness you crave.

The Sin Factor

Has it been difficult for you to find inner peace? There is a reason why so many people are unhappy, why there is so much conflict between individuals. Isaiah pinpointed the trouble long ago: “We have turned, everyone, to his own way” (Isa. 53:6). (read more)

The Good News About Sin

Isn’t it amazing that Jesus Christ came into this world to die for our sins? But it seems that in our society today the word “sin” has disappeared from our vocabulary, hasn’t it? Nobody knows what sin is. We think it’s a bad word. People have got enough trouble without making them sinful on top of it! But being aware of our sins is one of the most important lessons we can learn if we want to experience peace. And that’s actually pretty good news, because sin is easily dealt with. (read more)

Transformation through Spiritual Birth

How can you be born spiritually and begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? It is easy to stumble over the simplicity of what God offers us through His Son. You are born again or saved when you believe Jesus. He said that you have access to the peace of God through Him. The starting point is when you ask Him to invade your life…when you open the door and invite Him in. (read more)

Power Through Spiritual Breathing

Many Christians would name Galatians 5:22-23—the passage about the “fruit of the Spirit”—as among their favorite verses in the Bible. But are you aware that Galatians 5 refers not to one kind of fruit but to two? The Spirit produces love, joy, peace, and all the rest, surely enough, but before that our old nature produces a welter of shameful sins. (read more)

Confront Your Problem

Do you want to be at peace with yourself? Once we accept the fact that wrath or fear or guilt is in us, we can deal with it. And that is the good news for everyone filled with anger and malice and bitterness. The people in your life may never change their ways.

Circumstances may be beyond your control. But fortunately you can do something about yourself. (read more)

Responsibility for Your Inner Life

To get out of the gloomy pit of despair, bitterness, hostility, jealousy, and the accompanying aches, pains, and misery, and to be at peace with yourself, you must take personal responsibility for your own character, no matter what someone else does–or did. If a person is miserable, it is his or her choice. Our woe is not the result of our background, or the people around us, or our environment, but of a choice, either deliberate or vague, to continue in the direction that we have been heading. (read more)

Emotions Affect the Body

There is a relationship that exists between the mental/emotional state of a person and the workings of his body. For a better understanding of how this relationship functions, we must turn to the physician. (read more)

Peace through Repentance

Are you angry or frustrated because of other people’s behavior, trying to act the way you think a “Christian” should act, hiding your true feelings, agonizing on the inside?

Maybe you’re spending hours talking your problem out with a professional or a trusted friend. They listen, and you feel some peace of mind because you have talked things through, but you don’t really experience lasting peace. (read more)

Freedom from Others

Does your serenity, peace of mind, and joy depend upon a choice another person makes?

Think of your favorite person. They have good points and faults. You don’t have problems with their strengths, but when they won’t do something that’s important to you, you have a choice to make. One of your options is to resent them, become bitter, and/or dwell on the fact that there’s some little thing this person isn’t doing that you want them to do, and it can ruin your relationship. (read more)

Choose the Right Response

Are you troubled by things you’ve done, by what you’ve said to people, or by what people have said to you? Are your words typically supportive, or do you find yourself often critical, caustic or hostile? (read more)

Facing Your Shortcomings and Failures

What is your reaction when a friend confides, “I’m going to be very frank. There’s something about you that I wish were not true”? If he has a compliment, you are only too glad to have him say it; you don’t even draw him apart from the crowd to hear it. But how hard it is to have your faults pointed out. We all have a built-in resistance to seeing our shortcomings. (read more)

Constructive Speech

How would you describe the way you talk? Are your words positive, constructive, comforting, supportive, and uplifting? Or are the words that come out of your mouth most often cutting, negative, and hurtful? (read more)

Choose to Forgive

Have you suffered emotionally and perhaps physically at the hands of others?

Have emotions such as anger, resentment, hate, hostility, bitterness and revenge entered your heart and mind? Have you become filled with an unforgiving spirit? (read more)

Building Your Self-Respect

If your goal is to maintain good physical health, you pay attention to some important details:

Diet
Sleep
Exercise

You need knowledge about these areas so you provide time and expend energy to inform yourself of what is involved. Your interest is to act according to your knowledge. (read more)

Dealing with Stress

What difficulty are you currently experiencing in your life: a relationship, a financial burden, job insecurity, unhappiness with your circumstances, a difficult child, an aging parent, conflict in your church or with your neighbor? (read more)

Examples From Case Histories

Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various counseling situations. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

Consistency

Matty and Todd had been having trouble for several years. The trouble was not fights or noisy arguments, but playing cat-and-mouse over Matty’s changing moods. The couple would plan to go to a church home group party or a family gathering, but Matty would beg off at the last minute. She just wasn’t up to socializing. Todd would feel sorry for her, change the evening’s plans and stay home. After several weeks of staying home, he would become blue. Then she would feel guilty for causing him to give up his social life and she would start going out. But he knew she was doing it just for him, so he would feel guilty and stay home more. It was a vicious circle, actually a battle of wills, his versus hers. (read more)

A Desperate Act

Eric Green lay in a pool of his own blood on the bathroom floor. He watched the red stream spurt from his slashed wrists and trickle along the masonry grooves that separated the little squares of tile. Powerless to stop it, he saw the blood crawl steadily onward and spill into more grooves. He had started this flow. It was something he had wanted to do—to end his life. But now the horror of his choice overwhelmed him. What a mistake he had made! (read more)

Is it Really Sin?

This town was surrounded by beautiful, rolling hills and lush, productive farmland. The air was fresh and clean. There was lots of sky, and we enjoyed glowing sunrises, spectacular sunsets, and beautiful moonlit nights. There were prosperous farmers who lived in large, lovely homes with all the conveniences anyone could ask for. They looked out of their picture windows at their oil wells pumping black gold 24 hours a day. Everyone had several big cars in their driveways and we ate sumptuous meals. The people were elegantly dressed. The church was beautifully furnished.

You would think if there were any place in the world where people would be content and satisfied, it would be in this town. No doubt these people could teach me a thing or two about mental health.

To my surprise, I was swamped by people who requested counseling. There were many troubled hearts in those beautiful homes. (read more)

21024 Read the Bible Online

Now you can study the Bible online in the Bible translation of your choice and find answers to your questions. The links below will take you to websites that have the Bible available in hundreds of different languages.

Bible Gateway

Available in 46 languages with text, PDF and/or audio plus 22 English versions. The following list is just an example.

New International Version, NIV
Segond 21 (SG21)
Reina-Valera 1995 (RVR1995)
New Russian Translation

Bible Hub Parallel Bible

Compare 18 different English versions and multiple commentaries on a single verse, all on one page!

Bible Hub Children’s Bible

Find 217 Bible stories in easy-to-understand vocabulary just right for kids.

Biblica Online Bibles

The NIV Bible and several other versions are available in English, and the Bibles in more than 30 languages.

Blue Letter Bible

Powerful Bible study tools linked to every verse in an easy-to-use, personalized Bible reader! Dig deep into God’s Word with over 30 Bible versions, audio Bibles, text and audio commentaries, Hebrew / Greek lexicon, concordances, dictionaries, advanced word searches, and more.

NET Bible

The NET is the newest complete translation of the original biblical languages into English by a multi-denominational team of more than twenty-five of the world’s foremost biblical scholars. More than 60,000 notes highlight every major decision, outline alternative views, and explain difficult or nontraditional renderings.

This NET Bible online is a great resource for series Bible students.

YouVersion Bible

Choose from more than 2400 Bible versions in over 1600 languages on your computer, phone, or tablet — with many available as audio Bibles.

21026 Listen to the Audio Bible

Is it sometimes more convenient for you to listen to the Bible online rather than read it? Maybe you’d like to download free audio Bible files so you can listen to Bible passages while you’re driving or exercising.

Whether you’re looking for an mp3 audio bible download, a Bible audiobook, or an audio Bible study, you can find them all here in one convenient place.

Bible Gateway

Hear the dramatized Bible in English plus several other English versions and 16 other languages.

Faith Comes by Hearing

Audio Bibles are available in over 920 languages, mostly the New Testament. Name and email are required for the free MP3 download.

WordProject

Wordproject is an open and royalty-free webpage that aims to make the Word of God – the Bible – available to as many people as possible, through a means that is simple, up-to-date, and cheap to reproduce and use. The audio Bible is available in 55 different languages.

99930 Bible Credits

The NET Bible® Scripture text (without the NET Bible notes) may be quoted in any form (written, visual, electronic, projection, or audio without written permission. This permission is contingent upon the quoted text being followed by the designation (NET) and an appropriate copyright acknowledgment: Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NET) are from the NET Bible® copyright ©1996, 2019 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved, and for audio production: an one will insert a audio acknowledgement that says “The Scriptures quoted are from the NET Bible® http://netbible.com copyright ©1996, 2019 used with permission from Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. All rights reserved”.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

34102 The Sin Factor

In grade school, I learned about an invisible law called gravity. It was on the playground where eight swings were installed side by side. We had a contest to see who could make his swing go the highest. I was standing up on my swing, and at a point where it was as high as it could go, I slipped—and I kept on going up and clear out of sight.

Do you believe that? No, thanks to the law of gravity, I came down so hard the impact broke one of my teeth.

Wouldn’t it be difficult if gravity worked only part of the time? Imagine walking in your neighborhood and never knowing for sure whether you would fly up or come down. Fortunately we can depend on the law of gravity. And though you can’t touch it or see it, if you jump out of a window, you will feel it.

You would not say, “I don’t believe germs exist,” just because you can’t see them. When you are sick, you experience the effects of germs. Even though you can’t see them, you do not deny that they exist.

These invisible powers are explained through science according to predictable laws. There are also biblical laws that affect our interactions.

I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7:18-25)

There is a tiny word tucked into these verses that you seldom hear these days. The word is … “sin.” These verses define the term “sin” to mean the breaking of God’s law. An equally important concept to understand is the “law of sin.” It is one of the most important of all laws to understand because it will determine your future conduct.

A knowledge of sin and what to do about it is the most important information in the world, and the Bible is the source of that information. Almost all the people who talk to me about themselves have little or no knowledge about the Bible. It follows that they also have little or no knowledge about sin.

I have heard hundreds of stories from people who begin by saying, “I have everything I always wanted and I’m doing everything right!” But the same gnawing emptiness and repetitive questions remain: Why am I restless? Why am I disturbed? Why am I worried? Why am I nervous? Why am I tense? Why am I unhappy? Why do I hurt? Why am I under stress? Why am I uncomfortable?

I am convinced that all of us sincerely want to overlook other people’s faults and be easygoing, loving, generous, cooperative, and sacrificial individuals. But something holds us back. Could it be this law of sin? Paul seems to say yes: “I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it” (Romans 7:19-20).

It is usually the unexpected circumstances that give you an unexpected glimpse of yourself. Joe considered himself to be an easygoing, friendly person. He liked his work and got along well with his associates. Then his boss got transferred. The new boss rearranged Joe’s workplace, changed his secretary, and gave him some new duties that he didn’t like. Joe changed from being a cheerful, cooperative person to a disgruntled, rebellious employee. He hated the new boss. His inner response to the new superior resulted in behavior that missed his own personal standard of conduct.

This is the law of sin at work. It suggests a conflict between the desire to do good and the inability to do it. The Bible sums up this condition very simply: “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin” (James 4:17).

Perhaps you have been present with someone who has eaten too much and is confronted by a luscious dessert. With fork in hand he declares, “I shouldn’t eat this.” Then he deliberately proceeds to do what he just declared he shouldn’t do—eat the dessert.

Another Bible verse describes this type of struggle: “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish” (Galatians 5:17).

The Bible pinpointed the trouble long ago: “We have turned, every one, to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6).

Each person likes his own ideas, plans, aspirations, and longings. Thus when you encounter resistance to your wishes, or face demands that are not to your liking, the tendency is to rebel, attack, run, or defend yourself. The natural reaction is to be resentful, bitter, stubborn or full of fight. It is easy for you to think that your desires are the reasonable ones. A person will find a way to make a selfish drive seem selfless, deceiving even himself.

Furthermore, it is natural to shrink away from an honest glimpse of yourself. To back off from reproof is as human as shielding the eyes from a burst of light in a dark room. The Bible’s assessment that the heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9) and that men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil (John 3:19) is as up-to-date as the literature on psychology that describes the mental mechanisms for evading the truth.

The patterns of deceit and self-defense are so systematized that their names are common dictionary words: rationalization, regression, suppression, repression, extroversion, introversion, compartmental thinking, and projection. To peer further into the darkness, such avenues can lead to psychoses requiring hospitalization—or to broken homes, crime, vice, or even murder or suicide.

But as already mentioned, there is hope! Since we are looking to the Bible as our guide, we can turn to it not only for a description of man as he naturally is, but for the path to peace from our disturbances, neuroses, and psychoses. Psalm 119:165 says, “Great peace have those who love Your law, And nothing causes them to stumble.”

Many people turn to a counselor for help because they are in circumstances that offend them or have caused them to stumble. They are dissatisfied, irritated and unhappy. Either they flee from the vexing situation or attack it. One would think that people would rush to buy a book that pointed out the path to peace and the way from offense to freedom. People do buy it—millions of copies every year. The Bible continues to be the all-time bestseller. But it is a book that most people quickly lay aside because it reproves and corrects. Man simply does not like the truth that he discovers about himself in the Bible.

The “law” of sin exposes our inability to do right. As we study the Bible we can be assured that God will help us to confess our sin, will forgive us of it, and will help us to live a new life of freedom in Him.

34104 The Good News About Sin

In John 14:16, Jesus said to His disciples “I will pray to My Father about you … ”

Can you imagine God and Jesus talking about you?

And then Jesus finishes his sentence with, “I am going to send you another Comforter.”

This is a restless age. We live in a world where people are under stress, tense, worried, and disturbed. But we have a Comforter! Jesus told us that He wants us to turn to Him for comfort. He wants to be the one to comfort us, so we should not seek our comfort from the world.

What is presently disturbing your peace? The truth is, something outside of you can change something inside of you. You have an emotional reaction to a circumstance in your life. When something happens you dislike, your heart beats a little faster, your hands get sweatier, your mind starts moving, your emotions start racing, and your muscles start tensing. That’s a warning!

Mixed up with these bodily changes are emotional changes: anger, bitterness, resentment, hate, rebellion, deception, and ill will. You now are experiencing a condition you must do something about, because you can’t exist like this!

When you are experiencing these ugly emotions, the Bible calls it the “works of the flesh,” or “sin.”

There isn’t any thing or any person in the world that can really help you when you are sinning. They may be able to calm you down, or prescribe medication, or give you some way of managing your circumstances. But the sin remains.

You need to repent of your sins. That repentance comes only through the power of God. It involves a transaction between you and God. You must enter into His presence. We are told in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

The Lord won’t ever turn you away! He’s there anytime you want to call on Him. So come to God and repent of your sin. It involves five steps:

1. “I’m wrong and I have sinned.”

2. “I’m sorry.”

3. “Please forgive me.”

4. “Cleanse me.”

5. “Lord, empower me.”

Repentance involves a dependence on the Lord for the rest of your life. It is a wonderful gift you have been given, and to accept that gift will keep you from repeating your sin.

Take a step . . .

Is there something in your life that you are struggling with? Does it involve sin? Take a few moments to talk with God using the five steps outlined above. Be specific.

You may want to put it into a prayer, something like this:

“Lord, I’m sorry for (be specific and name your sin). Please forgive me and cleanse me and restore Your joy and love and peace to my heart. For not only have I sinned, but unless You help me, I’m going to keep on doing it, and I don’t want that. I want Your way in my life. In Jesus precious Name, I come. Amen.”

34106 Transformation through Spiritual Birth

Jesus said about Himself:

I am the way, and the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me (John 14:6).

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me (Revelation 3:20).

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16).

I once proposed this step to a disturbed client. He became more disturbed.

“Don’t hand me that stuff,” he said. ”I’ve asked God for help many times, and it doesn’t work.”

”When did you ask Him to come into your life?” I asked.

”I’ve been a Christian all my life,” he said. ”I grew up in church.”

I persisted. ”When did you ask Him to come into your life?”

”I can’t remember,” he said.

To make this step more clear to him, I asked if he remembered when he purchased his last car. That he could remember. He also admitted, when I asked, that he purchased the car by a specific action. He didn’t purchase it by simply thinking about it…or about its construction…or by considering all the standard equipment, etc. Only when he agreed to the deal, did he purchase the car. He definitely remembered that.

He also remembered exactly when he got married, when he accepted airplane tickets for his last flight, when he accepted his present job.

You are born again when you ask Jesus to invade your life. Otherwise, it’s no deal. Jesus is the way to God’s peace. To let Him into your life gives you access to the resources of God: peace, joy, hope and patience.

Then you can put everything and everyone into His hands. You can stop striving and let His peace guard your heart, mind, and body.

I once spoke with a woman who had had continuous headaches for several years. Medical tests and x-rays could not isolate the cause. Medication didn’t help. She finally came to realize that she hated the snake of a husband she had divorced several years ago.

She realized she was only punishing herself nursing hatred toward someone who was 3,000 miles away. She asked Jesus to come into her life and give her His Spirit and take the hate away.

She said, ”This is the first day in several years that I didn’t have a headache.”

At a conference where I was speaking, another lady approached me about her husband. They had been married some twenty years. They were active in religious circles. He was even an elder in the church. But he kept a bottle of vodka in his office and was usually a little drunk when he came home. He demanded a hot meal every night, even though his arrival time was unpredictable. Then he expected her to sit with him to watch television and pour his drinks for him.

Since the children were out of the house, this relationship had become unbearable. She had never complained to her husband, she said, and faithfully served him. But, she was consumed with rebellion, resentment and anger. She couldn’t stand it much longer!

I pointed out to her that she had two problems. Her husband was obviously one of them. He was inconsiderate, selfish, and demanding. But her most serious problem was what went on underneath her skin.

”But I have served him faithfully,” she protested. It did appear that her behavior was beyond criticism. She doggedly was living up to the letter of the law. But, God’s Spirit was missing.

”But, my husband just thinks about himself.”

I listen to this line of reasoning constantly. “My inner life is caused by people or circumstances. How else do you expect me to respond? Am I supposed to enjoy such treatment? Haven’t I put up with this long enough? Don’t I deserve some consideration, too?”

This dear lady was convinced that her inner life was in the hands of her husband. Several months later, I received a letter from her. It is printed here (in part):

Nothing has changed in our marriage, but I am contented. I felt so angry with you for what you said to me about myself–but you were right! Before that I hadn’t really recognized my own sin. God had to do some throwing down in my life, and that is never pleasant at the time, but the result is beautiful if you are submissive to the strong hand of God.

He has forgiven and cleansed and filled my heart with joy.

Our reactions to difficult circumstances are often anger, bitterness, stubbornness, rebellion, and hate which becomes intolerable. The idea that the people and circumstances involved merely reveal, rather than cause, their reactions is frequently rejected. The possibility of becoming a loving, peaceful, joyful person without the people or circumstances changing is an unpalatable option. If nothing changes, we prefer to be mad rather that glad.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Jesus, who knows all about us, says:

“And this is the judgment, that the light is come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the light; for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the light, and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God” (John 3:19-21).

There it is. We tend to turn away from such light. The more brilliant and educated we are, the more we are capable of coming up with endless varieties of ways to justify ourselves.

However, there is hope. When we finally quit running, the Lord will search our hearts, show us our selfish ways, clean us up, and fill us with His strength.