22220.007 Insults and Curses: Unsolicited Instruction

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult. (Proverbs 9:7)

A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a pru­dent man overlooks an insult. (Proverbs 12:16)

As a 27-year-old college president with no little arrogance and a lot to learn, I got a lot of insulting—and often anonymous—letters. Since my godly father always taught me, “Don’t ever write anything to anyone you’re not man enough sign,” I trashed the unsigned missiles.

I mentioned in an earlier chapter that one day I read in 2 Samuel 16 of King David’s being cursed publicly by a man named Shimei and of David’s mature response (my paraphrase), “Let him speak. God told him to curse me!”

That was a new concept. God might permit people to curse us not just to rebuke or correct us but to benefit us. So I started reading all my hate mail with a new perspective. It was revolutionary! Some of my worst and most ill-motivated critics were telling me things my friends wouldn’t. I was picking up valuable tips from them!

In a cultural climate in which put-downs, mean-spirited humor, and sarcastic mockers reign, it is important to learn the value of the curse or insult.

Principle: We expose our character—either foolish or wise—by the way we handle curses and insults.

The 9:7 passage above describes the response of reacting to an insult—rather than responding to it—as behavior typical of a “mocker.” Wise people aren’t mockers; they’re learners. Wise people, Proverbs declares, are not “touchy” when insulted. Instead, they “solicit instruction and correction.” The trick is coming to see all unwanted and uncomplimentary input as potentially beneficial!

Principle: If we listen for the voice of God in it, any comment—regardless of its motivation or content—is potentially useful for character building.

I started praying before reading my mail, “Lord, help me hear any­thing You want me to hear…” This revolutionized my attitude toward my critics and their insults. Voila! They said some things I needed to hear…and that my friends weren’t telling me! And they said some nonsense which God let me overlook.

Principle: If obedience to God’s Law provides building blocks for our character construction, the search for instruction and correction is the mortar.

Thirty years ago, a man screamed at me, “You self-righteous, bigoted, Baptist idiot!” Looking back, I think he was more right than I wanted to admit—except on the “Baptist” part!

Principle: Curses and insults are just divinely allowed instruction…in ugly wrappings.

Turn your curses and insults into benefit, and even your critics and enemies will unwittingly benefit you!

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]