Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult. (Proverbs 9:7)
A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. (Proverbs 12:16)
As a 27-year-old college president with no little arrogance and a lot to learn, I got a lot of insulting—and often anonymous—letters. Since my godly father always taught me, “Don’t ever write anything to anyone you’re not man enough sign,” I trashed the unsigned missiles.
I mentioned in an earlier chapter that one day I read in 2 Samuel 16 of King David’s being cursed publicly by a man named Shimei and of David’s mature response (my paraphrase), “Let him speak. God told him to curse me!”
That was a new concept. God might permit people to curse us not just to rebuke or correct us but to benefit us. So I started reading all my hate mail with a new perspective. It was revolutionary! Some of my worst and most ill-motivated critics were telling me things my friends wouldn’t. I was picking up valuable tips from them!
In a cultural climate in which put-downs, mean-spirited humor, and sarcastic mockers reign, it is important to learn the value of the curse or insult.
Principle: We expose our character—either foolish or wise—by the way we handle curses and insults.
The 9:7 passage above describes the response of reacting to an insult—rather than responding to it—as behavior typical of a “mocker.” Wise people aren’t mockers; they’re learners. Wise people, Proverbs declares, are not “touchy” when insulted. Instead, they “solicit instruction and correction.” The trick is coming to see all unwanted and uncomplimentary input as potentially beneficial!
Principle: If we listen for the voice of God in it, any comment—regardless of its motivation or content—is potentially useful for character building.
I started praying before reading my mail, “Lord, help me hear anything You want me to hear…” This revolutionized my attitude toward my critics and their insults. Voila! They said some things I needed to hear…and that my friends weren’t telling me! And they said some nonsense which God let me overlook.
Principle: If obedience to God’s Law provides building blocks for our character construction, the search for instruction and correction is the mortar.
Thirty years ago, a man screamed at me, “You self-righteous, bigoted, Baptist idiot!” Looking back, I think he was more right than I wanted to admit—except on the “Baptist” part!
Principle: Curses and insults are just divinely allowed instruction…in ugly wrappings.
Turn your curses and insults into benefit, and even your critics and enemies will unwittingly benefit you!
[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]