The corrections of discipline are the way of life. (Proverbs 6:23)
A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a fool. (Proverbs 17:10)
My godly father had a slogan on the wall of his den that said, “It’s better to give someone a piece of your heart than a piece of your mind.” True. But is it possible that giving someone both could be in their ultimate best interest?
Nobody likes to be corrected, rebuked, or reproved. It strikes at the heart of our arrogance and typically stirs a negative, defensive response. In this “feelings generation,” pop psychology often preaches against such corrective behavior because it stimulates “bad feelings.”
A member of the California Highway Patrol triggered some really bad feelings in me a few years ago with his flashing lights, stern words, and a really expensive citation for “meritorious service in the fast lane.” I didn’t appreciate the recognition at the time, but now I do. I’ve been a safer, more observant, more careful driver ever since. That reproof and correction may have saved my life or someone else’s because I heeded it.
Principle: Rebuke and reproof are good medicine. They cure moral sickness, so take them faithfully—regardless of how they taste.
Proverbs makes a really big deal about how we respond to rebuke and correction. Respond well—we are told—and it will result in honor (13:18), an understanding of the way the world works (15:32), status among the wise (15:31), and life itself (6:23). Reject or scoff at rebuke and reproof, and a lot of bad things result. We will “lead others astray” (10:17) and even die (15:10)! God declares that correction is so essential to successful living that wise people will love you for correcting them (9:8)!
Principle: Reproof is a test of wisdom and folly; wise people love it, and fools hate it.
The ultimate state of wisdom and maturity is the ability to learn without personal correction. Truly wise people are so teachable they learn even watching others get reproof!
Principle: The one who doesn’t learn from the correction of others must be reproved personally. Rejecting personal reproof just compounds folly, destruction, and death.
The motivation of the one giving the correction or rebuke doesn’t matter. Even people who give you a piece of their mind—without a piece of their heart—can help you be a better person. When Shimei cursed King David and threw stones at him (2 Samuel 16:6), one of David’s guards wanted to kill him. David forbade it and let him speak, reasoning that God might be motivating the curse!
That’s wisdom and maturity.
[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]