Apicontent

Are you troubled by things you’ve done, by what you’ve said to people, or by what people have said to you? Are your words typically supportive, or do you find yourself often critical, caustic or hostile?

Colossians 3:17 says “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks unto God and the Father by Him.” (KJV)

When you speak or act in a way that you know in your heart to be wrong, you pay with your emotions. You chip away at your own self-respect. But one of the most important principles that you can apply to your life is that your mental health is in your control. YOU are the one who must CHOOSE how to respond to individuals and situations in your life that are less than perfect.

You might say, “If only this person would change, then all these wonderfully warm friendly qualities would be released in me.” Not so. Nobody can cause you to be angry, stubborn, immovable, inflexible, and easily irritable. Your behavior is determined by your spirit, and your spirit involves you and God. It’s a unique relationship. It has nothing to do with anyone else.

Romans 13:1-2 says “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers for there is no power but of God and the powers that are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resists the power resists the ordinance of God, and they that resist shall receive unto themselves damnation” (KJV). The NIV puts it in a gentler way: “will bring judgment on themselves.” You see, your behavior makes a difference to you.

Don’t allow yourself to drift away from allowing the Lord to fill your heart with His Spirit day by day. Nobody can stop you from calling on God to fill you with His love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and patience. Do what you’re doing and saying in His Name, as though He were right there with you. Let Him help you feel the relief of walking through life with a thankful spirit.

Philippians 2:2-4 tells us to “let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than themselves” (KJV).

Becoming preoccupied with the negative qualities of anyone or anything in your life causes you to lose sight of good things. The Creator of the universe laid down His life for you. He has chosen to put the emphasis on your spiritual life. He has chosen to give you of His Spirit, and to make your burden light. He gives you the ability to honor him in all that you do and say.

Take a step . . .
Are you presently holding on to a heavy burden? Open your heart to God’s Spirit and let Him fill your life with joy, peace, love, kindness, and gentleness. Take a moment to pray this prayer:

Lord, help me to be conscious of the fact that You have something to say about the way I interact with people and situations in my life. Help me to be more aware of my response to the tasks that are given to me and how I interact with people. Today I choose to commit what I do and say to You, looking to You for that spirit of joy that you died to give me, doing it in Your Name. Help me to remember I do this with You by my side. In Jesus Name, I pray. Amen.

Read Colossians 3:17, Romans 13:1-2, and Philippians 2:2-4.

“I love Sara very much and she knows it. But why is she so rebellious?” Mrs. Grant asked me.

This mother was a sincere Christian, and her teenage daughter had been a continual object of her prayers. She could not get Sara to study, do a chore right, get along with her brother, or even eat properly. It was a mother-daughter battle, and it terribly distressed Mrs. Grant. “It’s been very trying, believe me,” she said. “In coming to you, I thought you might help.”

Probing for the cause of the festering trouble, I asked what her feelings were when Sara disobeyed her.

Impatience, anger, and resentment, she confessed. “But in spite of that,” she hastened to add, “I love my daughter very much. Don’t you think I’ve proved this by the torture I’ve been through in keeping to myself the irritation she causes me?”

I guess I shocked Mrs. Grant when I said, “Your bitter feelings toward Sara prove that you do not love her.”

“How can you say such a thing?” she cried. “Doesn’t it take love to carry a cross?”

I opened my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13 and pointed out God’s description of love: Love is kind … and longsuffering. Kindness and longsuffering are fruit of the Holy Spirit produced within the surrendered Christian, I pointed out.

“Hiding your impatience and resentment does not alter the fact that these are present in your heart,” I told her. “These are not the ingredients of love. These are products of our selfish nature. You may pretend to Sara—and to yourself—that they do not exist, but they do!”

Mrs. Grant was very surprised when I traced her anguish to her efforts to act loving rather than to be loving.

“Do you mean that Sara should be allowed to get away with what she does?” she demanded.

“Not at all,” I answered. “Your daughter’s behavior must be dealt with. But before you can deal with Sara, you must deal with your own inner spirit.”

It was months before Mrs. Grant could completely give up her conviction that if only Sara would behave, Mother would be her own sweet self again. It took some time also for her to understand that if she were truly to love Sara, the impatience and resentment would have to be replaced by patience, kindness, and gentleness.

“I’m not capable of patience,” she said desperately one day. “It is so hard to be kind.”

She was right. What was in her heart just naturally came out. But, I assured her, if she repented of her bitter heart, God was ready to help.

She finally dropped her defense and asked God to give her the love she lacked. She discovered God gives all the overflowing love He is asked for, and she could deal with Sara in love, whether or not her daughter responded.

Not surprisingly, Sara did respond and their home is now the happy Christian one it should be.

Bart Nolan was a key designer in a large supersonic aircraft company. Some of the best features of these fast, high-flying planes originated in his creative mind. However, Bart’s boss often tinkered with the finished designs. This worried Bart; he was afraid the tinkering might someday show up as an expensive failure.

The boss took credit for a thing if it worked, and if it didn’t, he blamed Bart, who thought it only natural that he had grown to dislike the boss.

One day, a man in Bart’s department made a foolish mistake and the big boss said the man was through. He ordered Bart to do the hatchet job. Bart was furious.

He stormed into the office of his boss and began to chew him out for “cluttering up our perfectly good design.” That was a mistake. Bart was shifted to another department. He found his new boss was not a tinkerer, but this man was a driver. He pushed Bart to work faster. Bart was in the same old tense rut, reacting angrily to his boss.

Slowly, he began wondering if maybe something wasn’t wrong with him. He decided to let an outside ear listen in on his problems. So he visited the Christian Counseling Clinic. Over a period of weeks he vented his story. The more he talked, the more he saw that whenever he was asked to do something he didn’t agree with he began nursing a new grudge. “What’s the matter with me?” he asked.

As a Christian who knew the Bible quite intimately, he was able to answer his own question. “The Bible says, ‘Whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men’ (Colossians 3:23). I’ve been working for myself and for men, not for God.”

Mr. Nolan could see that he had acquired the habit of sulking if things didn’t go his way. He asked God to help him realize his superiors did have a right to give orders. If he did not think the orders were correct, he could express his opinion. But having done so, he knew the final decision was not his to make.

Bart Nolan experienced many starts and stops in his new attitude. But over the months, he became a genial man. Knowing the boss would insist on having his way, he studied the boss’ ways so he could produce what was expected.

Now Bart knows that God helps him do his work “heartily, as to the Lord.” The result is a growing contentment in the same work that once upset him.

My wife and I were driving along I-95 through Florida on a beautiful, sunny afternoon. We were chatting pleasantly. The cruise control was set at 70 miles per hour and we were in the middle lane. A car on the left whizzed past us and suddenly swerved into our lane. I had to stomp quickly on the brakes to prevent a nasty accident. My wife didn’t see the car but she felt the effect of the brakes, which caused her body to lurch forward. I calmly told her what had happened. Together we watched that car weave in and out of different lanes until it was out of sight.

Later that day I recalled the incident. It dawned on me that when that car swerved in front of me, I had to make a split-second decision to either walk in the Spirit or in the flesh. That I responded peacefully with a kind attitude toward that driver was a miracle. I could recall similar instances when, in a split second, I was transformed into an angry man with my heart pounding, my body alert, and a stream of nasty words tumbling out of my mouth.

We make many such split-second decisions every day. Without our noticing, other people make choices that affect us and force us into making a decision. We have no control of the incidents around us, but we do determine whether to yield to the Spirit or to the flesh.

When I note that I yield to the Spirit instead of the flesh, I do so with a sense of grateful relief. How positively wonderful it is to know that I no longer need to manage myself by myself! Now I can let God do it – per His request. Take it to the Lord in prayer; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

The Bible tells us, “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

Consistent living is a matter of recognizing your own personal inability to produce the kind of spirit that you want, no matter how intense your desire. It involves receiving and yielding to the Spirit of Christ.

A well-groomed man of nearly 60 sought me out after I had spoken at a banquet and said to me, “I’ve got a story you must hear.” I sat with him and heard an amazing testimonial to God’s grace. Here is his story:

“Three years ago I was bedridden. I had a half-dozen things wrong with my body. I just lay in my room, disgusted with God that He should allow such misery to come to one who had served Him as I had. My only consolation was the radio. One day your counseling program came on. You spoke about the importance of forgiving those who had wronged us. You quoted Matthew 6:15, ‘But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ ‘Of course,’ I said to myself, ‘he’s no doubt young and healthy and has everything going for him. Nothing ever happened to him like it has to me. It’s easy for him to forgive.’ The following week, I was determined not to listen to you, but I did. You said that unforgiveness can cause misery for the one who refuses to forgive. You quoted from James 3:14 and 16, ‘But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not … for where envying and strife is there is confusion and every evil work.’ I yelled at my wife to turn that radio off. In the silence that followed, those words continued to resound in my soul. I have never experienced such anguish. When it came time for your program the next week, somehow I couldn’t keep the radio off. That time your Scripture was Isaiah 32:17, ‘And the work of righteousness will be peace; and the effect of righteousness will be quietness and assurance forever.’ I was a wretched man, but a thoughtful one, when you finished speaking that day. ‘What he says is from the Lord,’ I told myself. ‘The strife and confusion that he spoke about certainly describes me – and I have no peace or quietness, so where is my righteousness?’

I have a son and daughter, both married. Their two families entered business together, but by dishonest means one family wrestled the business from the other. Bitterness flared in my heart toward the guilty pair. I said I could never forgive the evil deeds that brought so much turmoil to my home. But there on my sickbed after the third broadcast, I began to see that by refusing to forgive, I was hurting only myself. I cried out to God to forgive me. In my heart, I forgave my children. I committed the whole matter to God. Eventually, the wrong was made right, but it wasn’t this happy development that brought me health again. My crippling ailments disappeared when my bitterness was taken away. That is what forgiveness did in my life.”