Apicontent – Page 223

32721 My Place in the Story

God’s invitation into His work (sometimes referred to as His “call”) operates on three levels: that which applies to all Christians, that which applies uniquely to each of us, and that which applies to the moment in front of us—like our daily tasks and responsibilities.[1]

“Jesus said to him, ‘”Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”‘” – Matthew 22:37-39

With these words, Jesus gives all Christians their overall mission. We are to love God and love others. All that we do in life can flow from applying these statements to specific situations. [Read “God’s Call for Everyone”]

But how does loving God and loving others make choosing a college major, career, or spouse any easier? It seems that mathematicians and social workers, business people and artists could all find ways to apply Jesus’s commandments to love God and love others in authentic ways within their disciplines. The second level of God’s call for believers is his call to vocation.

“When we fulfill our specific vocation, we are living out the full implication of what it means to follow Jesus. Therefore, while we all have a general call to love God and neighbor, we each follow our Lord differently, for though he calls us all to follow him, once we accept his call we are each honored with a unique call that is integrally a part of what it means to follow him. The second experience of call is derived from the first.”[2]

This is another way of saying what we read in 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 about the way that God creates and utilizes individuals in his kingdom.

“Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are different ministries, but the same Lord. And there are different results, but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. To each person the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the benefit of all.”

So how do we begin to know and live out our unique callings in the kingdom? [Read “God’s Call for Me: Vocation”]

God calls us in a third way, too. He invites us into the work of the day—the responsibilities or tasks He puts before us. This is different than the work that God has for all his followers, because these tasks are given to us each individually—caring for pets, commuting to work, shopping for food, going to a party, coloring with our kids—but they are to be done in a way consistent with the way God calls all his followers to live. [Read “God’s Call for Me: Tasks and Responsibilities”]

It is easy, however, in a discussion of God’s will and call to focus exclusively on what we should do. But it is equally important, and actually precedes the doing, to focus on who we are called to be.

Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are his creative work, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we can do them.” In this passage we can skip past the “For we are his creative work” portion. But until we understand intellectually, emotionally, and behaviorally that we are the creation God delights in, we will continually contrive to make the doing portion of that verse be about the tasks that most convince us of our own indispensability and most reassure us of our own worth.

Footnotes:

Gordon T. Smith, Courage and Calling (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2011), 10.
Ibid.

32910 The Story

Advancing—progressing in a direction—implies a past and present, not just a future. What, then, is the broad sweep of God’s story? It began with the very good creation. God created. And He called His creation good. Particles, plants, people, sexuality, community, and work were called good by their creator.

But all that was good was twisted when human rebellion from relationship with God—part of which involves honoring God as our rightful king—came into the story. Fear, shame, suffering, punishment, banishment, but also provision for the journey were added to the human experience.

As we are unable to repair the damage from our side, God’s people have always needed God to initiate restoring the relationship. God’s movement to bring His people back into right relationship with Himself, other people, and creation culminated in Jesus, God Himself, demonstrating an astounding love for us such that He would die in our place, removing the guilt and shame that became in human life in that very first rebellion.

God, in relationship with His people—those who once again honor Him as king, continues that redeeming process in our lives individually, in relationships, in social structures, and between people and the rest of creation that had once been declared very good by its creator.

Starting with those first scared-then-bold-beyond-reason followers of Jesus, the too-good news of Jesus has been shared throughout the world. The Church was formed, and re-formed, grown and pruned, planted and withered. Church history overflows with examples of that original twistedness of a good creation being embodied in poor decisions, gross injustices, and hate-filled actions. But that the good news remains (and is also embodied throughout Church history) is a testament to God’s sustaining, story-authoring work. We today also become the scared-bold followers of Jesus, embodying the good news to our families, neighbors, and world.

But the end of the story, ah, the end. We will one day see all that was created, then twisted in sin, become beautiful and fully restored and in right relationship with God! But seeing good restored will be nothing, really nothing, next to the overwhelming awe of face-to-face-knowing our creator. We will never cease to be amazed at who He is and what He has done. Like a novel so delightfully gripping we see and hear nothing but the unfolding story, so, but more so, we will be captivated by the presence of God and will finally understand that this is why we exist. We will have found our home.

We can see evidence of God at work in the world, and we can look at our own lives and see evidence of transformation, but we can also see so much lacking. We confidently hope for Jesus’ return but until then, we’ve been invited into God’s work. Just as Adam was given good work in the garden prior to sin, so being forgiven of sin, we have again been given good work to do until that day when our work fully becomes worship.

32636 Forgive One Another

“Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” – Luke 17:3-5

Most of us are probably like the apostles in the Luke passage above. In hearing that we must forgive someone for the same thing seven times in a day (really this means an infinite number of times) the apostles and many of us respond, “Lord, increase our faith!” In other words, “What are you, crazy??? That’s impossible!” True. Forgiveness doesn’t make a lot of sense.

With these words Jesus set a high standard. His life set an even higher standard. While hanging from nails pounded through his body, in physical agony, betrayed and humiliated, Jesus looked at those responsible and prayed, “ “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

So what did his executioners do to merit forgiveness? Was there a sudden change of heart, tearful apologies, demonstrated difference in life choices? They didn’t deserve to be forgiven. And that’s the funny thing about forgiveness, it isn’t and can’t be deserved. So when each of us hears the good news of the gospel that says “You, ______ (fill in your name), are forgiven. Everything you’ve ever done, are doing, or will do is forgiven.” It has nothing to do with your worthiness of being forgiven.

Jesus is pointed in his application of this truth: we do not have a corner on the forgiveness market. As we have been forgiven so we should forgive—extravagantly, without waiting for change in the other, forgiveness as a gift, not as a response, but initiated by the offended.¹

Lord, increase our faith.

Then Peter came to him and said, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times! “For this reason, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. As he began settling his accounts, a man who owed 10,000 talents was brought to him. Because he was not able to repay it, the lord ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, children, and whatever he possessed, and repayment to be made. Then the slave threw himself to the ground before him, saying, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you everything.’ The lord had compassion on that slave and released him, and forgave him the debt. After he went out, that same slave found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 silver coins. So he grabbed him by the throat and started to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ Then his fellow slave threw himself down and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you.’ But he refused. Instead, he went out and threw him in prison until he repaid the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were very upset and went and told their lord everything that had taken place. Then his lord called the first slave and said to him, ‘Evil slave! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me! 33 Should you not have shown mercy to your fellow slave, just as I showed it to you?’ And in anger his lord turned him over to the prison guards to torture him until he repaid all he owed. So also my heavenly Father will do to you, if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart.” – Matthew 18:21-25

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” – Luke 6:37

“Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others.” – Colossians 3:13

How then do we forgive so generously? Is forgiveness an intellectual act? Do the emotions associated with being hurt or sinned against simply disappear if we decide to forgive?

Forgiving another person can lead us toward emotional healing, increase our experience of peace and contentment, and lessen our anger and pain. “But emotional healing is not the main purpose of forgiveness…the heart of forgiveness is a generous release of a genuine debt…that’s a gift we give not so much to ourselves but to the one who has wronged us.”²

So forgiveness is an action of love, done for the sake of another. It is an action that is prompted when we receive God’s forgiveness for our own sins and motivated by God’s crazy love in us that allows us to love our enemies (even if they remain our enemies).

Some Challenges

Think of someone who has wronged you. Use the prompts below as one possible way to pursue forgiving them. Repeat throughout the rest of your life.

Realistic Assessment³ On your own, name what was done that was sinful or hurtful. Name who was affected. Name what the affect was (emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, social, etc. consequences). Strive to avoid exaggeration, “always” or “never” statements, or lumping unrelated experiences together.
Remember Your Own Forgiveness⁴ The basis for this crazy act of forgiving doesn’t lie in the other person or in you. We are only ever grateful servants being gracious toward others with the grace we have already received. “This step is the equalizer, leveling in you any sense of superiority over the sinner, to whom you are more similar that to the righteous God.”⁵
Sacrifice Your Rights in Prayer⁶ The world tells us we have a right to revenge. Justice tells us we have a right to expect restitution, or at the very least that the offender should remorsefully apologize. Our stubbornness tells us we have a right to expect the offender to initiate reconciliation. But Jesus’ example turns this on its head. We are not left with the option to hold on to our rights. Instead we give up our rights in prayer.Talk to God about what you’ve named. Tell Him you let go of your rights for fairness and revenge. It is God who works in your heart the miracle of genuinely releasing another from their debt.It is here that we encounter the scandal that forgiveness is not ultimately about gaining something (healing, peace, etc.) for ourselves. Forgiveness is instead a gift to the debtor, given to benefit them. It seeks to overcome evil, not continue it, as is clear in Romans 12:20-21: “Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”⁷
Speak the Sin and the Forgiveness⁸ Now with the work you’ve done above in mind, if at all possible, make a time to talk with the person who wronged you. Tell them two things. Say what happened and what the effect was, and tell them you have forgiven them. You have released the desire for revenge or to make them hurt, this act of speaking is done for their sake, that their relationship with God be restored and they would be changed, grown, and transformed to be more like Jesus.
Demonstrate the Sincerity of Your Forgiveness⁹ This conversation could indeed produce true, sincere repentance and joyful acceptance of your forgiveness in the other person. More often, though, interactions might feel awkward as the person doubts the depth of your forgiveness and wrestles with lingering guilt. It is also possible, that after this conversation, despite your best efforts, the other person would get defensive and reject your forgiveness.

Regardless of their reaction, if the person you’ve forgiven is someone with whom you have ongoing interactions, your next job is to assure them that the gift of forgiveness you gave them really was free—through treating them with respect and warmth (not trying to subtly punish them with coldness), serving them humbly (reinforcing that you don’t think they owe you anything), and even verbally affirming them (not giving guilt the silence it needs to fester).

Endnotes

Miroslav Volf, Free of Charge (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2005), 168.
Ibid., 169.
Walter Wangerin, As for Me and My House (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1990), 96-104
Ibid., 98.
Ibid., 98.
Ibid., 99-100.
Volf, 160-162
Wangerin, 100-102.
Ibid., 102-103.

32635 Be Joyful and Demonstrate Sacrificial Love

Joyful, sacrificial love. Love that doesn’t make sense. The verses above are woven together by this thread of humble, selfless, freely given love.

In the clip from Les Miserables, the Bishop freely gives away his wealth for the sake of a stranger he calls “brother.” The joy of that sacrifice astounds the stranger, Jean Valjean, who actually had stolen the Bishop’s silver, but is now free to go.

Jesus’s example is even more striking. He who was the teacher and master, stooped to wash feet—a job usually reserved for the lowliest of household slaves. Jesus served others, indifferent to position or title. Ultimately, He demonstrated the craziness of His love for us when He who is God chose to be ridiculed and tortured to death in our stead.

“When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” John 13:12-15

“Greet one another with a holy kiss.” Romans 16:16

“All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.” 1 Corinthians 16:20

“Greet one another with a holy kiss.” 2 Corinthians 13:12

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” 1 Peter 4:9

“Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.” 1 Peter 5:14

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13

Notice that Jesus doesn’t tell His disciples to follow his example and serve sacrificially until after they had accepted his service to them. The Galatians passage above summarizes the order necessary in our service: we’re already free, therefore we can serve one another in love.

The joy in sacrificial service comes from knowing and reveling in the fact that we’ve been served first. Everything hinges on the fact that God’s love for us was proved in Jesus’s sacrificial death. But it isn’t a cold, utilitarian sacrifice. It is a loving sacrifice that welcomes us into a family where we are not seen as problems to be fixed but beloved children to be celebrated!

Christians have always flung open the doors that separated actual blood relatives from non-family. Yes, God still graciously gives us families, but to become a Christian is to suddenly find out you have brothers and sisters you’ve never met!

This expansion of family is what’s behind the passages above that urge us to greet each other with a kiss. Roman, Greek, and Middle Eastern cultures kissed as an expression of familial affection or to show respect to someone in authority.[1] It was not just a normal greeting given to everyone, like a handshake might be in Western cultures—it expressed affection and acknowledged the bond between the people. So it like the writers of these passages are saying, “forget your preconceived ideas of who you’d define as a stranger and warmly and joyfully welcome one another as family members!”

We are family. Even if we have never met, we are family. The commitment to each other suggested in these verses only makes sense if we are related. When we are at the end of ourselves with no place to go, we turn to family, even to a broken or dysfunctional family. And if unhealthy families can still be supportive on some level, how much more beautiful is the support given by a healthy family.

Like hikers who jump to divide up the gear so the guy who just sprained his ankle can walk without extra weight, we come around each other to ease and support each other in the hard times of life. We bear with each other, not to be repaid, but because that’s what family does.

Some Challenges

Before we can serve with joyful, sacrificial love we need to have truly received this love from God. How freely do you accept God’s love for you? Does your sense of unworthiness keep you from believing that and feeling like you are a beloved child? If so, talk about why and when you feel this way with Christians you trust. Regularly pray and talk about this with your community and then be on the look out for how God builds your community through your vulnerability as well as the glimpses He gives of His heart for you.
How free and joyful is your sacrificial love for others? Do you keep track of how much you are serving compared with others? Does your love and service come with an expectation of repayment or at the very least appreciation? If your sacrificial love isn’t free, talk about it with your community of Christians. Consider practicing the discipline of anonymity. That means do some act of service every day in such a way that there is no way the person or group being served would know it was you or even notice that something had been done for them. Beware of starting to keep a mental tally of “good deeds,” however!
Being a Christian means joining a family. Who in your local community of Christians do you hesitate to be hospitable to or welcome? Begin praying for opportunities to become more open towards them. The next time you see them, imagine you just found out they were really your brother or sister!

Footnotes

Peter H. Davids. The First Epistle of Peter, The New International Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1990) 204-205.

32634 Live in Harmony and Be Humble Toward One Another

Jostling is part of what makes a crowd a crowd. We push back to keep our place in line, to stand our ground, or to reach our destination.

Jostling, while not physical, can be part of advancing our careers, making our point, or just looking out for ourselves. We are often both the jostlers and the jostled.

The passages below speak against vying for position and seeking to surpass others. We are presented with a view of living as Christians that, if anything, is downwardly mobile.

We are to honor others above ourselves and submit to one another. Slander, grumbling, pride, divisiveness, judging each other—these efforts to assert ourselves have no place in the Christian life.

Competition springs from scarcity. But as Christians, God has given us such an abundance of love, grace, hope, purpose, and forgiveness that we don’t need to struggle against each other to get them. When we choose to accept how and when God provides for us, we are released from a self-fixated, desperate scramble to meet our own needs.

Perhaps these passages are meant to strike deeper than just convicting us of our efforts to avoid trusting God to provide for our needs. Fundamentally, they are about “us” and not “me.” When we become Christians we are not only declaring God our master and His priorities more important than ours. We also declare that our needs, successes, desires, and plans no longer trump our community’s. They can still be important, just not more important than others.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves…. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” Romans 12:10,16

“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.” Romans 14:13

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21

“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:5ff

“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.” James 4:11

“Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!” James 5:9

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.'” 1 Peter 5:5

The Philippians passage, especially, points out that our relationships with each other should be marked by humility and sacrifice. So from a place of accepting God’s abundant good gifts for us we are able to “make ourselves nothing and serve.” We no longer need to jostle each other for our needs are paradoxically met as everyone in the community puts others first.

Marriage vows depend on this paradox. As long as both people continually elevate the other’s needs above their own, each person’s needs are met, without jostling and with joy that comes from knowing another has noticed what you need and graciously given that as a gift.

Some Challenges

Imagine that when you became a Christian, you said marriage vows, but instead of being directed toward a spouse they were to all other Christians: “Will you love them, comfort them, honor and keep them, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to them as long as you shall live?” Who can you love and cherish this week, as an exercise in un-jostling your life? How will you demonstrate that cherishing? Make a plan now and share it with a friend for accountability.
How do you honestly feel when someone close to you is recognized, honored, or rewarded? Does that reaction fit the spirit of the passages under consideration?
When was the last time you thought or said something judgmental or gossipy? What need of yours motivated those thoughts or words? How can you ask God to provide for that need? Has He already? While it might be humbling, share your answers to these questions with a friend and pray together for God to provide for those needs.

32633 Love One Another

No concept has catalyzed the production of more music, poetry, art, writing, or film than love. From highbrow artistic creations to playground rhymes to marketing campaigns to pharmaceuticals to our most cherished dreams and aspirations, love, and our human experience of it, is undeniably center stage.

Love, it turns out, is also central to God, Jesus, faith, and being a Christian. It was from an abundance of love that God created everything, especially humanity. It was because God loved us that Jesus came to die in our stead and so restore the possibility of an abundant love relationship with God. Jesus commanded His followers to live lives characterized by loving God and loving others. And it is to a future of the fullest expression of love joined with our most authentic expression of worship that we look forward to after death.

In the passages below, it is striking to notice how loving one another is described. Love is spoken of as devoted, as in the way in which families are committed to each other. Reflecting the reality that even if family relationships are broken, you can’t physically un-relate yourself. Being a Christian is similar—even if you don’t get along with someone, by nature of the new family created in Jesus, the Church, you are still related to them. This means that just like the kind of love that makes families work, love in the Church has to be other-centered, humble, obedient, and completely committed.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

“Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.” 1 Thessslonians 4:9

“We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.” 2 Thessalonians 1:3

“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.” Hebrews 13:1

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.” 1 Peter 1:22

“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

“For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.” 1 John 3:11

“And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.” 1 John 3:23

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God” 1 John 4:7

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:11, 12

“And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” 2 John 1:5, 6

In 1 John 4:11-12 above, loving other believers even transcends the love within families. Love in the Church becomes one of the ways we actually know and experience God. God becomes tangible, in a sense, when His Church loves one another. Living out God’s love is our purpose.

Some Challenges

Take a minute to think back over this past week. What kinds of words would describe your love towards other believers? Were you other-centered, humble, obedient, and completely committed?
The truly radical thing about Christian love is that by it God is experienced tangibly. Who is pointed to by the way you love? Do you love ultimately to be loved in return or do you love with abandon such that the only explanation for your love is that it has its source in God?
Think of a difficult person to love in your life. Commit to praying daily that the Lord would give you a “nothing needed in return” love for them. Find a way to remind yourself to pray—set an alarm on your phone, pick a landmark you drive by that will signal that it’s time to pray, or obviously your own idea!

32632 Encourage, Instruct, and Spur On One Another

A congregation does not thrive on a foundation of superstars. The passages below call everyone into the foundational work of building each other up. It is not solely the leaders’ work. In the Church everyone encourages, teaches, and motivates everyone else, and should do so with the warmth and equality of teammates. No one in our congregations is more important than another but everyone shares the important responsibility of encouraging.

Runners in a relay race do this. Though equal as teammates, they instruct each other as they practice. During a race, they are each other’s strongest supporters, yelling encouragement, urging every last ounce of exertion from their teammates. Then, when the baton is passed, they run, feeding off the encouragement of the ones they were moments before encouraging.

Each individual competes, encourages, and instructs in a manner unique to them. But they are united by a common goal; a purpose accomplished through their unique contributions in the service of something bigger than any of their individual efforts.

I myself am convinced, my brothers and sisters, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge and competent to instruct one another. (Romans 15:14)

Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. (2 Corinthians 13:11)

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. (Colossians 3:16)

After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:17-18)

He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:10-11)

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:13)

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

The passages above are clear that the point of cheering each other on is not just positivity or personal enrichment. We run on a team with every other Christian in the world, and we rally each other to run the race well, now, today. But our encouragement and motivation spring from our solid hope that one day we will see Jesus face to face. That hope is strong enough to help us persevere, even thrive, no matter the struggle or obstacle.

This hope should not dismiss or minimize the challenges we face. Christians are sometimes guilty of trite encouragement where we think that because our future is secure our present realities shouldn’t matter. But it is because our pain, temptations, and discouragement are real that the call to persevere is needed. It is when our energy is spent, our will eroded, or our resources exhausted—when we have nothing left to depend on save God—it is in the reality of that moment that we most need one another’s encouragement, literally, bringing forth courage. That courage is anchored, not in the mess of our lives, but in the truth that “He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.” (1 Thessalonians 5:10)

We don’t encourage, teach, and motivate ourselves—this is communal work. We put an arm around one another to draw each other into worshiping and depending on our God. We cheer each other on so we remain focused on the goal of running our race well today and finishing in the arms of our savior.

Some Challenges

Think about encouragement and instruction you’ve given to others over the past two weeks. Did it build the other person up and spur them on? Or conversely, did it leave them with another expectation they’ve failed to meet, another trite saying that dismissed their struggle, or another surface-level interaction that left them more alone in their reality?
Continuing to think about encouragement and instruction you’ve given, did you take their reality seriously? Were you motivated to interact by curiosity (i.e. the oft-used cover for Christian gossip: “I just want to know how I can pray for you”), confidence you could fix them (“well all you need to do is…”), or judgment (“Well, just stop.”)? Or, was your encouragement in the spirit of the passages above where your encouragement humanized them through your presence and focused on the strong hope that “we may live together with him?”

32631 Being the Church to One Another

Have you ever walked into a full elevator and, instead of turning toward the door, remained facing your fellow occupants?

People in elevators, like people in many other contexts, follow particular unspoken rules.

Congregations are no different, each having beautifully (and sometimes not so beautifully) characteristic ways of relating that are specific to that church. But are there ways we, as Christians, should treat each other that transcend the norms of individual congregations?

Whatever customs a particular congregation lives out, suits and dresses to Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops, scripture gives clear instructions for us to apply in our individual contexts for how we should treat each other in the Church.

Throughout the New Testament, commands that include “one another” or “each other” let us know that we should apply these words to our relationships with other believers. While passages that include this phrase don’t constitute an exhaustive list for how we should act as Christians, they do give us a solid starting place for what actions, commitments, and attitudes should characterize life together in a congregation.

The five articles that follow each focus on “one another” passages grouped according to theme.

The articles are meant to:

Invite you into a gracious way of living. It would be a misapplication of these passages to wield them as condemning weapons toward your congregation. Their application begins in your life and continues into the life of your church through humble modeling and conversation. It is an invitation to humbly ask the Holy Spirit to grow you and your congregation toward more vibrant Christ-likeness.
Invite you to reflect on passages of a similar theme. Each article lists the Bible verses related to that theme. Take the time to read each one and ask God to show you how it applies to you and your church. Your own insight is important, so don’t rush past the verses into the reflection and challenge sections that follow.
Invite you into conversation. These passages are perfect for communal dialogue. As they prescribe certain ways to treat one another, it only makes sense to consider them with the very “one anothers” you should treat that way!

These articles also assume a few things:

The characteristics that define how a congregation relates can change. It’s not often easy. Or fast. But they do change.
You affect the life of your congregation. You do. No matter how big or small your presence, how influential or invisible your role, your pursuit of Jesus-honoring/other-honoring living will encourage and challenge those around you.
Sometimes characteristic ways of relating are bigger than individuals. Change happens as individuals change, but sometimes hurtful or unjust ways of relating are connected to our organizational structures, rules, or broader cultural norms. These passages apply to us as individuals but we should seek their communal applications as well.

So come, be encouraged and challenged in how you act toward one another. Who knows, maybe you’ll be so excited by how you and your congregation change that you’ll find yourself trying to start group sing-alongs in packed elevators.

32623 A Practical Guide for Finding a Church

These guidelines are designed to get you started on the discernment process. Since the decision to commit to a church involves both discernment and process, you know it’s not simple and it takes time!

Use the church’s website, their printed documents, what you observe while in their space, and tactful conversations with real people to help you check items off and get answers for the “Questions Section” at the bottom of this page. Don’t try and answer everything in one visit, or use the questions like an interview—again don’t miss out on really connecting with God and really connecting with other Jesus followers.

Any church you decide to pursue should meet these basic standards. If a church has a statement of faith on their website or in print, it will speak to many of these points. But if possible, also try and discern whether these beliefs and practices are demonstrated in the church’s services and the lives of people you meet.

Beliefs—What do they believe about God and church doctrines?

God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—is one. Is anything elevated above worshiping God?
Jesus, the Son, is fully God and also fully human. He really died and really rose again to life so our sin would be forgiven and our relationship with God could be restored.
The Holy Spirit guides us in following God, convicts us of sin, reveals God to us, comforts us, equips us, instructs us, and forms us to be more like Jesus.
The church is designed to bring us together to worship God, grow in our individual and collective love for God and understanding of Him, and engage our world with words and actions that introduce others to God and His love and provision.
We have all sinned and all need to receive God’s forgiveness.
Salvation is a free gift of God’s—a gift that we accept through faith in Jesus, not a reward we somehow earn.
We respond to God’s gift of salvation with gratitude, which is worship, and the desire to live in a way that is pleasing and honoring to Him. We love and obey Him.

Authority—What is their foundation?

The Bible should be the ultimate authority—is it treated with respect, taught, understood, and followed? Are other writings elevated above or equal to the Bible?
The church leaders lead in a Christ-like manner. They should serve under Jesus’s authority, not be the ultimate authority themselves. They should sincerely serve the congregation and community, not simply to benefit themselves. Leaders should balance influence with humility and confidence with listening.
Do church members follow their leaders with a balance of respect but not adoration?

Relationships—How do they act?

Relationships between people in the church should be marked by warmth, love, and service.
There should be evidence of the church pursuing both the spiritual maturing of its people and the flourishing of its community (spiritually and physically speaking).
What are they doing about the rest of the world? The church should not be self-serving but rather value and pour into the world outside its walls.

For a quick refresher on what Christians through the ages have believed see the Apostle’s Creed and the Nicene Creed.

The discernment process doesn’t stop with assessing whether a church is reasonably healthy and holds to basic Christian beliefs. The next step is getting to know the church and beginning to discern your compatibility. That doesn’t mean that the church you are most compatible with is best choice—it still comes down to following God to the place He draws you. That sense of being drawn to a place, though, is at least partially related a sense of compatibility. Just beware of being drawn to a place simply because it’s filled with people just like you.

Some Questions to Help You Get to Know a Church

[The following questions are meant to be asked casually as you interact with people from the church or peruse the church’s documents.]

Who is this church?

Why did you decide to come to this church?
How have you grown as a result of the church?
What do you appreciate about it?
What were some of the significant moments in the history of this church?
Tell me about the personality of this church.
How does the church have fun together?
What are some of the traditions of this church?
What is a typical Sunday like here?

What is important to this church?

What does the church care about? How is that demonstrated?
What are some of the things this church does or has done that people are proud of (in a good way)?
What has become more important and less important to the church over the last several years?

[The following questions are meant for you to think about and explore (i.e. don’t ask these!)]

How could you serve this church?

What opportunities are there to get involved?
How does the church support and grow the people volunteering?

What do they believe and practice?

Many churches have a website that spells out what they believe. As you read these statements, does it seem like anything is missing? Anything seem over-emphasized? What excites you about what they believe?
If the church has archived sermons, take a look to see what topics and scriptures have been preached on. If there are some sermons by people you haven’t heard preach in person, listen for a little bit to get a deeper perspective on the people who lead the church.
Does what you hear preached match with the church’s belief statements? Are there aspects of what the church says it believes and practices that are absent from actual life and teaching of the church?
Are there factions or divisions?
Can you learn and grow from the teaching?
How do people treat each other?
Does the worship focus you on Jesus?

What is God telling you?

How do your non-essential beliefs correlate to the beliefs the church has? Could you see yourself adapting in areas that don’t match perfectly?
What do you feel like God is telling about your involvement with this church? Should you continue to pursue the relationship?
What, if anything, in the course of your time with a church focused your attention on Jesus?

32622 Discernment in Finding a Church

Discernment is hard work. Given the other stresses of transitions, we easily replace discernment with the more efficient church-shopping. If Amazon sold churches, we could just read customer reviews and select the one everybody likes best!

This is the tricky part—how to make wise decisions but not fall back into a consumerist mindset? How can we cultivate an openness to God’s leading?

What follows are some suggestions to help in making this decision.

1. View this season of discerning a church as an opportunity.

“I hate church shopping!” is a common complaint during seasons of transition. But what if we relished this season for the unique opportunity it affords us? You are free to experience the variety of ways Christians worship in your area. God will surprise you and convict you as you find faithful Christ followers in all sorts of churches, who all approach God in different ways. Once we commit to a particular family of Christians, we don’t often get to step back and experience the bigger picture of Christianity in our areas.

2. Go worship God with other Christians—don’t think of it as visiting or checking-out churches.

Our attitudes and expectations make all the difference. If you went on a first date clutching your spousal wish-list, not only would you get weird looks from your date, but you’d miss out on connecting with a person. Go for the purpose of worshiping God with others. Even if you won’t eventually commit to that particular church you can still worship God, be present to your fellow worshipers, and actively trust that God will lead you to a church family.

3. Be open to the new or unfamiliar.

Go with the attitude of a learner. Seek to understand how their particular forms of worship really allow them to worship. Expect to be surprised by beauty and significance in the unfamiliar.

4. Know yourself.

What strengths has God given you? How can you serve the Church? We can fight consumerist attitudes by embracing the opportunity and privilege to contribute to the life and service of that body. Relationships involve both people initiating and receiving, so part of discernment is understanding not just what you need from a church but what you can give as well.

5. Identify your speed bumps.

We should submit our non-essential (yet important) preferences about church to God. What, if anything, distracts you from worshiping God, whether theological, musical style, size, preaching, etc.? Talk to God and search scripture about what you’ve identified. As you listen to God speak through others, the Bible, or internally, ask yourself if you sense any of those preferences shifting. The fruit of this work will help you understand what preferences you should prioritize as you think about your compatibility with a particular church. Often times we see that in our friendships quirks that once annoyed us are endearing once we love a person. Other times however, differences actually hinder intimacy in which case, it is wise to not commit to that person any further.

6. Avoid debriefing.

The temptation is certainly there to walk out of a church service (really, whether we’re in the discernment process or not!) and immediately begin debriefing what we liked or didn’t like. When we talk about the service we should cultivate thankfulness instead of criticism. It might help our memories to record some of our observations, but it is more helpful to develop the habit of asking God to continue to bring that church to mind if He’d like us to worship there again.

7. Pursue spiritual growth during this discernment process.

It is easy for us to become apathetic about growing in our relationship with Jesus while we lack the stability of a primary spiritual community. But our sensitivity (developed through familiarity!) to God is the most important piece of the discernment process. So we should do whatever it takes to stay vibrantly connected to God during this time: devote time to being with God in prayer and scripture, meet or call mentors and friends, or take risks and ask for prayer, meet with church leaders, or attend mid-week events when you worship with different churches.