22210.001 Life Happens

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is like a tree of life.
(Proverbs 13:12)

A desire fulfilled will be sweet to the soul, but fools abhor turning away from evil.
(Proverbs 13:19)

What happened to your dream? When did life become so demanding, so difficult, that the hopes of the past were scared away, repressed or put on indefinite hold?  We stop dreaming when straight jacket-like obligations materialize and life brings a myriad of other distractions. Eventually, change, age, and waning health cause the “big dream” to be totally lost.

Is there purposeful life? Is there the possibility of an ever-present happiness, a prevailing joy unaffected by the ups and downs of life? How does one navigate through the demands and diversions and distractions to preserve a dream and find success in it?

The year was 1015 BC and David, King of Israel, lay dying. With his last breaths he swore to his beloved wife, “Solomon your son shall be king after me, and he will sit on my throne in my place.” Solomon, probably in his early twenties, was suddenly a world leader with a crushing weight of responsibility. As a young prince, he had hoped the hopes and played the games of childhood. He may have had desires of being like his mighty father, a conquering general and a compassionate king. But Solomon had no known formal on-the-job training, no education in political science, and certainly no Wharton MBA or Kennedy School Ph.D.

God saw Solomon’s plight and came to him in a dream. In this dream, He asked Solomon the following question “If you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?” In response, Solomon humbly stated that he was like a small child who did not know his way and he simply requested “an understanding mind so that I can govern the people well and know the difference between right and wrong.” God granted Solomon his wish—a wise and understanding mind such as no one else has ever had or ever will have! And he was also abundantly blessed with riches, honor and a long life.

Solomon’s dominion extended over vast kingdoms and throughout his lifetime his lands were known for peace and safety. His wealth was beyond comprehension; his great wisdom, understanding and knowledge too extensive to be measured. In addition to being an expert in biological sciences, he was a philosopher and songwriter, having spoken more than 3,000 proverbs and composed more than 1,000 songs. Kings from all nations sent ambassadors to Solomon to learn from his wisdom.

We now live three millennia after Solomon but the human heart has not changed. We all have dreamt a compelling, even noble dream at some point in our lives but very few have actually followed it. Instead, you may be avoiding, bouncing off of or throwing away relationships, searching in frustration for genuine understanding, love and acceptance. Looking for the opportunity to reconstruct your former dreams, you may be meandering through a universe of materialism and loose associations without a guidebook or a road map. However, in your longing, you press onward, sometimes seemingly aimlessly, in search of an imaginary time and place where everything will be as it should be.

Proverbs is the story of every man; it is the story of life—your life. Solomon answers the perplexing, unutterable, gnawing, sleepless nights sorts of questions and his insights give relief to the nagging doubts and regrets. Solomon tells us that the dream is a gift, that the dream never goes away. With his counsel, you will find the right path to begin your journey back. This book of wisdom is the way to happiness, the reason for your hopes, and the stuff of your dreams. There really is a guidebook to life, a GPS system that navigates from birth to death. It is the way of Solomon.

As you spend the next 30 days considering the wisdom of Solomon, ask God to reveal Himself to you and to renew your mind with His timeless truth that can transform your life and dreams.

42102 Choose God’s Love

Have you allowed God, who created the universe, to love you deeply?  He desires a personal love relationship with you.

How would your life change if you were convinced of God’s great love for you? Amazing as it sounds, God wants you to be with him and experience his love forever here on earth and in heaven.

God Sees You Through Eyes of Love

“God is love” (1 John 4:8), God doesn’t just give love. He is love. Unconditional, self-giving, other-centered love is the essence of God.

God loves you regardless of your position in life, your religion or your thoughts and behaviors. Even your sins—past, present and future—cannot stop God from loving you.

God longs to heal the hurting, strengthen the weak and cheer the discouraged. He never gives up on anyone.

Why? Because the Creator of the Universe custom-designed you and cherishes you. Job said, “You guided my conception and formed me in the womb. You clothed me with skin and flesh, and you knit my bones and sinews together. You gave me life and showed me your unfailing love” (Job 10:10-12, NLT).

God Designed You to Live in Harmony with Him

God created you in his image to live in a love relationship with him.

In the beginning, God walked with Adam. God and the man he had created were in perfect unity. God gave; Adam received. God loved; Adam trusted.

Satan hated that unity. He knew that if he could sever the relationship, he would destroy Adam and all of mankind after him.

So Satan tempted Adam and Eve. They disobeyed God and that broke the connection. Every person since that day is now born with a sin nature and separated from God with a sin nature.

Mankind is sinful and sin deserves death. “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23, BSB). God is holy and full of all life. What could bridge this vast gulf?

Religion is mankind’s way of trying to become good enough to earn a restored relationship with God. But our own “good”, religious efforts will never be sufficient. We cannot free ourselves from past sins nor can we change our sin nature.

“With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible …” (Matthew 19:26, BSB).

God Wants You to Live with Him Forever

Because God loves us, he paid the price for our sins. “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8, NLT).

Through God’s plan of forgiveness, it’s possible to connect with him. God’s plan has nothing to do with religion; it has everything to do with having a personal, love relationship with the living God.

By dying on the cross, Jesus, God’s holy and perfect Son, paid the penalty for our sin so we could be reunited with God in eternal life.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NIV).

If you believe in Jesus and invite him into your life, eternal life with God is yours! When you leave this earth, you will go to heaven to live with him forever.

The promise of eternal life is yours by faith in what Jesus did for you on the cross.

“For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.…” —Ephesians 2:8-9, BSB

Jesus is the only way to heaven. He said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6, NLT).

God Wants to Love Others Through You

Jesus came to free us from past sins and give us eternal life. And he also came to replace our sin nature with his nature of love so we can live on earth as God designed.

God designed you to know his love and to share that love with others. Loving others marks you as a follower of Jesus.

Jesus said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34, 35, NIV).

God created you to live life on earth like Jesus did—in union with his Father.

Jesus encourages, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me… As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love” (John 15:4, 9, NIV).

By surrendering to his will, we let Jesus live his life of love through us. God created you to live in unity with him so that you radiate Jesus’ life of unconditional, self-giving, other-centered love.

God Gives You the Freedom to Choose

You can have a relationship with God that begins now and stretches throughout eternity. God wants you to know and enjoy him forever. He longs to embrace you and call you his own.

Jesus cried out, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, . . . How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me” (Matthew 23:37, NLT).

Hear the love in his words. Today he is calling you.

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends” (Revelation 3:20, NLT).

Jesus knocks on the door of your heart. Will you invite him in?

If you desire to open the door and ask Jesus into your life, sincerely say these words to him:

Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for your love for me. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. You have bridged the gulf that separated us.

By faith I receive you as my Savior. Thank you for giving me eternal life.

Lord Jesus, make me into the person you want me to be. Be the Lord of my life and live your life in and through me. Replace my sinful nature with your nature so that I love others as you first loved me.

Thank you Jesus.

What was your response?

42104 Life Has Purpose

Why do you exist? What is the purpose of life? This is one of the most foundational questions of life. What a person believes about the reason for life has a profound impact on every other decision they make.

And yet, many people haven’t a clue how to answer this question. They live without any overarching purpose. For them, life is merely there to be used up. So they blindly keep walking on the road of life until it is over.

As tragic and foolish as this may seem, the end result is not any better for those who have given themselves wholeheartedly to any one of the numerous wrong purposes for life. Although they run through life with a great sense of direction, in the end, they will have arrived at the same wrong destination.

Why do you exist? Ultimately, because God created you to honor and glorify Him! Read on to gain an understanding of God’s purpose and plan for your life!

God’s Purpose for You

God created you to have an eternal relationship with Him. You are significant because the Creator of the Universe custom-designed you in His image.

Job explains,

You guided my conception and formed me in the womb. You clothed me with skin and flesh, and you knit my bones and sinews together. You gave me life and showed me your unfailing love. My life was preserved by your care. (Job 10:10-12, NLT)

You are not an accident! God created you in His image. You are very precious to Him.

The Bible tells us that He formed each of us individually in our mother’s wombs and that we are the work of His hands. What an amazing thought—how deeply we are known by the Creator of the universe! The Psalmist writes,

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (Psalm 139:13-16, NLT)

God has a wonderful plan for your life. He created you for a purpose. He wants you to know Him and enjoy Him forever. But, you can only discover why God created you and fulfill your purpose if you have a personal relationship with Him. That’s where it all starts. Do you know God personally?

God Loves You

The very God who created the universe desires a relationship with you. Not because He is needy, but because His very nature is love. God wants you to know Him and enjoy His magnificence. You are significant because the Creator of the Universe custom-designed you in His image.

God is committed to your well-being. Think about that . . . God cares about you! Not only did He design you, He also has mapped out a perfect course for your life that will result in your utmost joy and fulfillment. Listen to God’s words,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

God has a wonderful plan for your life. So it’s all good, right? Wrong! There’s a problem. . .

Separation from God

The problem is SIN. It’s a small word with enormous implications. Sin separates us from God.

The problem is we all have made wrong choices in life. The Bible calls these wrong choices “sin” which in the original Greek language means “missing the mark” … like an archer missing his target.

The Apostle Paul explains,

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23, NIV).

Have you ever really thought about your own personal sin?

The Bible teaches us that God is absolutely pure and holy … and that He cannot tolerate sin. The Bible states,

For the wages of sin is death…(Romans 6:23, NLT)

Just when it all seems so hopeless, God intervenes. He has made a way for sin to no longer be a barrier. God has a solution.

Jesus Died for You

The Apostle Paul explained God’s solution,

God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8, NIV).

In spite of our sinfulness, our loving and merciful God found a way for us to have a personal relationship with Him!

Jesus was crucified on a cross and then buried in a heavily guarded tomb. All hope seemed lost. But, Jesus rose from the dead on the third day … just as He had promised (Matthew 16:21)!

Wow! Isn’t that incredible? Jesus paid the penalty for our sins so we can spend eternity in heaven with God.

God’s Free Gift

God has made it possible for us to have eternal life!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16, NIV).

But you may be thinking, “What about all the good things I’ve done in my life? They must count for something!” However, because God is holy, He demands absolute perfection.

For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. (James 2:10, NLT)

So regardless of whether you keep most of God’s laws or just a few of them, you will fall short of His required standards. It’s not possible to earn your way into heaven through your good deeds. God can only accept sinless perfection. And Jesus was the only one who ever accomplished that.

Jesus is the only way into heaven.

Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me’ (John 14:6, NIV).

Jesus Christ paid for all your sins on the cross … and God’s perfect justice is totally satisfied by the blood of Jesus. He offers you the free gift of eternal life. The question is, “Will you accept it?”

Spiritual New Birth

So what does it take to begin your personal relationship with God?

Jesus explained the process to a religious leader who came to meet with him secretly one night. He told him, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” (John 3:3, NLT)

In order for you to begin the journey that leads to heaven you must be born again — this time spiritually. Physical birth produces physical life. Spiritual birth creates spiritual life.

Spiritual new birth is the gateway to a new beginning — the start of your journey with God.

Choose Eternal Life

Jesus came to earth to make it possible for us to have a personal relationship with God for all eternity. When He rose from the dead, His mission was accomplished. He is now offering you a pardon for your sins.

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God (John 1:12, NIV).

Will you accept this free gift from God by receiving Jesus Christ into your life?

Eternal life is a gift from God. You can’t do anything to earn it! But, like any gift, you can choose to accept or reject it.

Whoever believes in the Son of God accepts this testimony … God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life (1 John 5:10-12, NIV).

In the original Greek language, the word “believe” means to “trust in, cling to, rely upon.” Becoming a Christian is putting your faith (trust) in Jesus’ death for you on the cross, and in His resurrection for your eternal life. It is a choice that you make.

Receive Christ by Faith

Do you want the forgiveness for sin that Jesus offers?

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV).

In order to receive God’s forgiveness for your sins, you must honestly face the claims of Jesus Christ and believe that He is God, that He died for your sins and rose again, and that He wants to come into your life.

God knows your thoughts and motives. He desires you to come to Him, thanking Him for Jesus’ death for you on the cross. You receive Jesus Christ into your life by personally asking Him to come into your life and forgive your sins. He wants to be your Lord and Savior.

If you haven’t ever invited Jesus into your life, simply pray the following words. But remember, it’s not the words you say but the attitude of your heart that is important.

“Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for dying for all my sins—past, present, and future. Thank you for giving me eternal life, which you made possible by your death and resurrection. I receive you as my Savior by faith, and desire you to be Lord of my life.”

When you ask Jesus Christ into your life, you begin a life with Him here on earth that will extend into all eternity. There are blessings for you to experience now as well as in heaven!

What was your response?

42101 Why Jesus?

Josh McDowell had zero interest in Jesus Christ. Having been a victim of sexual abuse during his childhood, Josh began partying when he entered college, living for emotional highs and social status.

Then one day at a lunch table in the student union, Josh sat next to a young green-eyed coed with a radiant, infectious smile. Wanting to know why she and her friends were smiling, Josh asked, “Why are your lives so different from the other students on campus?” The attractive coed immediately blurted out two words that stunned him: “Jesus Christ!”1

Josh shot back, “Jesus Christ? Oh, for God’s sake, don’t give me that garbage. I’m fed up with religion; I’m fed up with the church; I’m fed up with the Bible. Don’t give me that garbage about religion.”

Unfazed, the young coed calmly replied,

“Mister, I didn’t say religion, I said Jesus Christ.”

Josh was speechless. He didn’t understand how a man who lived 2,000 years ago could bring meaning to anyone’s life today. Yet, here was this joyful Christian woman talking about Jesus as someone who had brought meaning and happiness to her life.

Can Jesus Bring Purpose?

Josh faked happiness, but he “was like a boat out in the ocean being tossed back and forth by the waves, the circumstances.”2 Yet, his friends at the lunch table seemed to have genuine happiness and purpose that wasn’t dependent on their circumstances.  

At one time or another, most of us question what life is all about. Have you ever gazed up at diamond-like stars on a pitch-black evening and wondered who put them there? Or have you ever gazed at a spectacular sunset and thought about life’s biggest questions? In Josh’s desire for meaning, three questions kept whirling around in his mind:

“Who am I?”

“Why am I here?”

“Where am I going after I die?”

The radiant coed’s remark made Josh wonder if what they said about Jesus was true. But he was skeptical, recalling, “I thought most Christians were walking idiots. But these people challenged me over and over. Finally, I accepted their challenge, but I did it out of pride, to refute them.”3

Josh began reading Jesus’ radical claims in the New Testament. For example, Jesus claimed to be the visible expression of God (John 14:9). He also said he was the only way to God (John 14:6).

Josh wondered how a mere man could make such claims. But if Jesus was merely a man, how could he live a sinless life, control nature, and have the unconditional love he demonstrated to people? 

But how was Josh to know if these accounts of Jesus were really true? He admits, “I didn’t know there was evidence that a person could evaluate.”

Josh began searching for evidence to either refute or support Jesus’ outlandish claim that he would rise from the dead. He reasoned that if Jesus really defeated death, the rest of his claims must also be true.

So, Josh spent over 700 hours investigating the evidence for Jesus’ resurrection. Josh explains why evidence for the resurrection was so vital to his search for truth. “I have come to the conclusion that the resurrection of Jesus Christ is one of the most wicked, vicious, heartless hoaxes ever foisted upon the minds of men, OR it is the most fantastic fact of history.”4

After his investigation, Josh concluded that Jesus’ bodily resurrection was indeed the most fantastic fact of history (see what Josh discovered at Did Jesus Rise from the Dead?). He writes, “Finally, my mind came to the conclusion that Jesus Christ must have been who he claimed to be.”

But Josh still wondered if Jesus could bring meaning to his own troubled life. 

Josh’s desire for meaning and happiness is something we all look for in one way or another. Most people try to find meaning in life through popularity, success, or material things. Madonna, the best-selling female recording artist of all time, discovered that fame couldn’t make her happy. She confessed,

“There were many years when I thought fame, fortune, and public approval would bring me happiness. But one day you wake up and realize they don’t…I still felt something was missing…I wanted to know the meaning of true and lasting happiness and how I could go about finding it.”5

The great scientist, Blaise Pascal, observed that our desire for meaning is universal, and it can only be filled by God. He states, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which only Jesus Christ can fill.”6

Like Madonna, we all look for ways to fill that vacuum. Some think sex is the answer. Others make education their total focus in life. Still, others look to material things. Madonna used to think fame, fortune, and public approval were the answers. But none of that satisfied her. 

Many think God is like the impersonal Force in Star Wars; They reason, “He’s up there somewhere, but doesn’t care about us personally.” Yet, since God created us as relational beings, He could only satisfy our emptiness if He is relational like us. An impersonal God could never meet our relational needs.

Josh began reading what Jesus said about God. Jesus told us that God is relational but infinitely more so than we are. He thinks. He hears. He speaks to us. In Jesus’ prayer to his Father in John 17, he reminds us that God knows each of us intimately, and thinks about us continually.

God Is Loving

Have you ever wondered what God thinks of you? Is He a tyrant waiting for you to fail so He can punish you? Or is He apathetic, not caring about you at all? Jesus told us that God loves each of us regardless of our looks, our intelligence, our popularity, our race, our wealth, or how successful we are.

Jesus was the exact opposite of the judgmental religious leaders. Whereas they condemned sinners, Jesus demonstrated God’s love by reaching out to them, healing the sick, and ministering to those considered unworthy. 

Jesus taught us that God is our heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally. In a world of broken homes and absentee fathers, it’s difficult for many to relate to the unconditional love of a parent. This was true for Josh, who grew up with a father known as the “town drunk.”

In contrast, Jesus compared God’s love with the love of a perfect father. A good father wants the best for his children, sacrifices, and provides for them. But in their best interests, he also disciplines them as he deems necessary.

Jesus illustrates God’s heart of love with a story about a rebellious son who rejected his father’s advice about life and what is important (Luke 15;11-32). Arrogant and self-willed, the son wanted to quit working and “live it up.” Rather than waiting until his father was ready to give him his inheritance, the son began insisting that his father give it to him early.

In Jesus’ story, the father granted his son’s request. But things went bad for the son. After squandering his money on self-indulgence, the rebellious son had to go to work on a pig farm. Soon he was so hungry even the pig food looked good to him. Despondent and not sure his father would accept him back, he packed his bag and headed home.

Jesus tells us that not only did his father welcome him home, but he actually ran out to meet his son. He then embraced his wayward son and welcomed him back without any condemnation. And then the father went totally radical with his love and threw a huge party celebrating his son’s return.

It is interesting that even though the father greatly loved his son, he didn’t chase after him. He let the son he loved feel pain and suffer the consequences of his rebellious choice. In a similar way, the Scriptures teach that God’s love will never compromise what is best for us. He allows us to suffer the consequences of our own wrong choices.

Some teach that God’s love is so great that we can ignore or reject Him in this life and not suffer the consequences of our decisions. But Jesus also taught that although God loves us unconditionally, He will never compromise His moral character. Character is who we are down deep. And according to Jesus, God’s character is absolutely holy. 

God Is Holy

Nearly 600 times in the Bible God is referred to as “holy.” Holy means that God’s character is morally pure and perfect in every way. Unblemished. God never entertains a thought that is impure or inconsistent with His moral excellence. God will never compromise His holy character.

God’s holiness means that He cannot allow evil to exist in His personal presence. We might think of God’s holiness as a clear mountain stream of pure water, and our sin as a polluted stream of water. Since evil is the opposite of His nature, God hates it. It’s like pollution to Him.

But if God is holy and abhors evil, why did He create us, and how can we know His plan for us?

What is God’s Plan for Us?

According to the Bible, you and I are part of something infinitely greater than anything we can imagine. According to His Word, God has a plan for us that staggers the imagination.

“Before the foundation of the world he chose us to become, in Christ, his holy and blameless children living within his constant care. He planned, in his purpose of love, that we should be adopted as his own children through Jesus Christ….” (Ephesians 1:4-5, J. B. Phillips)

Imagine being the adopted child of the Creator of the universe who knows every star, gives us spectacular sunsets, majestic mountains, expansive oceans, and beautiful music to enjoy. Yet, what He has in store for His children will be far more wonderful than anything experienced on earth!

Freedom to Choose

Like a parent wanting to give good gifts to his children at Christmas, God has planned a wonderful future for us. However, just as the father in Jesus’ story allowed his son to rebel, God won’t force His love and blessing on us.

In the movie, The Stepford Wives, weak, lying, greedy and murderous men have engineered submissive, obedient robots to replace their liberated wives whom they considered threats. Although the men supposedly loved their wives, they replaced them with toys in order to force their obedience.

God could have made us like that — robotic people (iPeople) hardwired to love and obey Him, programming worship into us like a screensaver. But then our compulsory love and obedience would be meaningless. So God gave us the ability to freely choose whether to love and obey Him.

C. S. Lewis explains why free choice is an essential part of God’s plan.

“If a thing is free to be good it’s also free to be bad. And free will is what has made evil possible. Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.7

Rebellion Against God’s Plan

We live in a world of physical laws that govern our universe. On 9/11, USA Today estimates that 200 people on the 101st to the 107th floors of the north tower of the World Trade Center jumped due to the intense smoke and heat. Within 10 seconds, the law of gravity took them to their deaths.

Just as God created physical laws like gravity, so He has given us moral laws that govern our relationship with Him and with others. God gave His people the Ten Commandments and told them through Moses that they were to live in full accordance with His law.

In the Ten Commandments, we are told to love God above everything, not lie, steal, have sexual relations outside of marriage, or covet the possessions of others. Jesus summed up all the commandments by saying that we should love God with all our hearts and love our neighbors as ourselves.

Tragically, none of us have lived up to God’s standard. We’ve all violated God’s moral laws in one way or another. We’ve broken God’s laws either by active rebellion or passive indifference. The Bible calls this disobedience “sin,” which means “missing the mark,” like an archer missing his intended target. Thus, our sins have broken God’s intended relationship with us.

Using the archer’s example, we have missed the mark when it comes to the purpose for which we were created. According to the Bible, all of us have sinned and are separated from God (Romans 3:23).

Regardless of what some irreverent TV and stand-up comedians say, God doesn’t wink at our sins. In fact, His character and perfect justice demand they be judged. And the penalty for our sins is death. The Bible declares us all guilty of breaking God’s laws.

“Someone is Coming”

So, is there a solution to our sin problem? If not, it appears we are doomed to eternal separation from the love of God. Yet, with God there is hope.

“From the very beginning of the Old Testament, there is a sense of hope and expectation, like the sound of approaching footsteps: Someone is coming! … That hope increases throughout the prophetic record as prophet after prophet declares yet another tantalizing hint: Someone is coming!”8

So, who is this mystery “Someone?” More than 700 years before Christ, God revealed through the prophet Isaiah that He would be our Savior. God was going to visit planet earth in the form of a child. Isaiah writes,

“For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called…Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6, NASB)

The Jewish religious leaders knew this prophecy written seven centuries before Christ, but couldn’t fathom how God would become a man.

However, later in Isaiah, we read that this one called “Mighty God” will suffer and be pierced for our sins. 

“He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins….All of us…have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.” (Isaiah 53:5-6, NLT)

Seven centuries after Isaiah wrote his prophecies, Jesus Christ was born. Jesus stunned the Jewish religious leaders by claiming to be the Messiah spoken of by Isaiah, who would die for our sins and bring us to God. His claim to be God infuriated the Jewish religious leaders, resulting in Jesus being pierced and executed on a cross. But he did it all for us.

God’s Justice Satisfied

The apostle Paul, originally an enemy of Christians, reveals the incredible mystery of who it really was on the cross, and why he was willing to die.

“For he, who had always been God by nature, did not cling to his prerogatives as God’s equal, but stripped himself of all privilege by consenting to be a slave by nature and being born as mortal man. And, having become man, he humbled himself by living a life of utter obedience, even to the extent of dying, and the death he died was the death of a common criminal.” (Philippians 2:5-8, J. B. Phillips)

As God, Jesus lived a sinless life, qualifying him to die for us. However, since only a perfect man could be our substitute, God had to become a man. The mystery of Jesus is that he is both fully God and fully man. As a man, he felt pain, experienced hunger, and eventually died on a Roman cross.

Author and Bible scholar, A.W. Tozer, explains,

“He [Jesus] is as certainly a man as was Moses or Paul…who as God and man, fought our fight and won it, accepted our debt as his own and paid it, took our sins and died under them and rose again to set us free. This is the true Christ, and nothing less will do.”9

It’s difficult to understand how Jesus’ death paid for our sins. Perhaps a judicial analogy might clarify how Jesus solves the dilemma of God’s perfect love and justice.

Imagine entering a courtroom, guilty of murder (you have some serious issues). As you approach the bench, you realize that the judge is your father. Knowing that he loves you, you immediately begin to plead, “Dad, just let me go!” To which he responds, “I love you, son, but I’m a judge. I can’t simply let you go.”

He is torn. Eventually, he bangs the gavel down and declares you guilty. Justice cannot be compromised, at least not by a judge. But because he loves you, he steps down from the bench, takes off the robe, and offers to pay the penalty for you. And in fact, he takes your place in the electric chair.

This is the picture painted by the New Testament. God stepped down into human history, in the person of Jesus Christ, and went to the electric chair (read: cross) instead of us, for us. 

As the one who created everything (see John 1:1-14), Jesus is not a third-party whipping boy, taking our sins, but rather he is God Himself. Put more bluntly, God had two choices: to judge sin in us or to assume the punishment Himself. In Christ, He chose the latter.

The biblical term to describe God’s free forgiveness through Christ’s sacrificial death is grace. Whereas mercy saves us from what we deserve, the grace of God gives us what we don’t deserve. The apostle Paul explains,

“When we were unable to help ourselves, at the right time, Christ died for us, although we were living against God. Very few people will die to save the life of someone else. Although perhaps for a good person someone might possibly die. But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:6-8, NCV)

But there is still one missing ingredient. Each of us individually must respond to the free gift Jesus offers us. He won’t force us to take it.

We Have the Choice

We continually make choices—what to wear, what to eat, our career, marriage partner, etc. It is the same when it comes to a relationship with God. Author Ravi Zacharias writes:

“Jesus’ message reveals that every individual…comes to know God not by virtue of birth, but by a conscious choice to let Him have His rule in his or her individual life.”10

In the history of man, Jesus is the only one who defeated death. Therefore, he is the only one worthy of our trust. Jesus said eternal life was a free gift through him alone.

However, like any gift, God’s free gift of eternal life doesn’t become ours unless we receive it. It all comes down to our choice. Eternity is at stake. We can choose one of three different responses:

  • we can ignore him, 
  • we can reject him, OR 
  • we can accept him.

Ignoring Jesus

The reason many people go through life ignoring God is that they are too busy pushing their own agenda. Chuck Colson was like that. At age 39, Colson occupied the office next to the president of the United States. He was the “tough guy” of the Nixon White House who could make the hard decisions. Yet, in 1972, the Watergate scandal ruined his reputation and his world became unglued.

Later he writes:

“I had been concerned with myself. I had…succeeded and I had given God none of the credit, never once thanking Him for any of His gifts to me. I had never thought of anything being ‘immeasurably superior’ to myself, or if I had in fleeting moments thought about the infinite power of God, I had not related Him to my life.”11

Many can identify with Colson. It’s easy to get caught in the fast pace of life and have little or no time for God. Yet ignoring God’s gracious offer of forgiveness has the same dire consequences as outright rejection. Our sin debt would still remain unpaid. Are you willing to take that risk?

Rejecting Jesus

When it comes to rejecting Christ’s full pardon, people give many reasons. 

However, Ravi Zacharias, who has debated with intellectuals on hundreds of college campuses, believes that the fundamental reason most people reject God is moral. They don’t want anyone, including God, interfering with their lives. He writes:

“A man rejects God neither because of intellectual demands nor because of the scarcity of evidence. A man rejects God because of moral resistance that refuses to admit his need for God.”12

Jesus won’t force you to accept him. However, rejecting him will ultimately lead you to an eternity apart from his wonderful grace and forgiveness. C. S. Lewis is one skeptic who decided that was too great a cost.

Accepting Jesus

His desire for moral freedom kept the brilliant Oxford scholar, Lewis, from God for most of his college years. After his quest for truth led him to God, Lewis explains how acceptance of Christ involves more than just intellectual agreement with the facts. He writes:

“Fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement: he is a rebel who must lay down his arms. Laying down your arms, surrendering, saying you are sorry,…is what Christians call repentance.”13

Repentance is what happened to Colson. After the Watergate conspiracy was exposed, Colson began reading Lewis’s Mere Christianity, given to him by a friend. Trained as a lawyer, he took out a yellow legal pad and began writing down Lewis’s arguments. Colson recalled:

“I knew the time had come for me…Was I to accept without reservations Jesus Christ as Lord of my life? It was like a gate before me. There was no way to walk around it. I would step through, or I would remain outside. A ‘maybe’ or ‘I need more time’ was kidding myself.

“And so early Friday morning, while I sat alone staring at the sea I love, words I had not been certain I could understand or say fell naturally from my lips: ‘Lord Jesus, I believe You. I accept You. Please come into my life. I commit it to You.’”14

Colson discovered that his questions, “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” and “Where am I going?” are all answered by Jesus Christ. 

God’s friendship and gift of eternal life are absolutely free—and it is for the taking because He paid our sin debt in full. But we must accept His offer.

Are you at the point in your life where you would like to accept God’s free offer? Perhaps like Josh McDowell, Chuck Colson, and so many others, your life has also been empty. God can fill that void and change you in a moment. He created you to have life that is flooded with meaning and purpose. Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.” (John 10:10b)

When you put your trust in Jesus Christ, God will forgive you of all your sins—past, present, and future—and make you His child. And as His loving child, He gives you purpose and meaning in life on earth and the promise of eternal life with Him. God’s Word says, “to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)

You can invite Jesus into your life right now by confessing your sins to him and asking him to be your Savior and Lord. In Revelation 3:20, Jesus says,

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” (Revelation 3:20, NIV)

God will hear you. He knows your heart and is not as concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer:

“Dear God, I want to know You personally and live eternally with You. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive you as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life and change me and make me the kind of person you want me to be.”

Do these words express the desire of your heart? If so, simply tell God, praying the above-suggested words in your own native language.

Once you receive him into your life, Jesus forgives your sins, becomes your best friend, and brings you into the very presence of God. Paul explains, 

“You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death on the cross in his own human body. As a result, he has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.” (Colossians 1:21b-22a, NLT)

He Changes Lives

After Josh made his commitment to Christ, he explains how Jesus helped take away his restlessness and lack of peace. His life was changed.

“A few months after I made that decision for Christ, a kind of mental peace developed. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not talking about the absence of conflict. What I found in this relationship with Jesus wasn’t so much the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.”15

Josh discovered that Jesus Christ answers all of life’s biggest questions: “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” And, “Where am I going after I die?”

As God’s child, you are a new person in Christ, and nothing you do or think will take your eternal inheritance away. However, there will be times of temptation, doubt, and even failure. We all fail God at different times, but He promises to completely forgive and cleanse us. (1 John 1:9)

Jesus will never give up on you, and as you include him in your life, you will experience his pardon, his peace, his purpose, and his power.

  • Pardon: Jesus gives you pardon for all your sins (1 John 1:9).
  • Peace: Jesus gives you his peace (John 14:27).
  • Purpose: Jesus gives you purpose to live (Jeremiah 29:11).
  • Power: Jesus gives you power through the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:8).

It’s important to remember that Jesus’ love for you is not based on how good you are or on your feelings. The emotional high you might experience when you invite Jesus into your life won’t always be there—but he will be.

Sacrificial Love

Youth leader Samantha Tidball tells how, when she was a teenager, she dated a number of guys and repeatedly found herself bored after a few weeks of dating. She realized that she got an emotional high from the chase — one that wasn’t sustainable. And she says it was sort of the same thing when she first began a relationship with God.

When the initial emotional rush was over, Samantha felt empty inside and continued looking for attention elsewhere. She knew God loved her, but she didn’t always feel His love. She wrote in a blog,

“I have learned that I can’t force a feeling. But I can reflect on what I know and trust that God truly does love me. I have to trust Jesus meant what He said in 1 John 4:9-10, ‘God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the World so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love – not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.’

If Jesus died for you and me, then what does that say about our self-worth? Jesus says, ‘There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends’ (John 15:13). Apparently, God loves us enough to die for us; there is no greater act of love.”

A New Motivation 

The apostle Paul explains how Jesus’ love should motivate us to live completely for him. “Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15, NIV)

Living for Jesus is more like a marathon than a sprint. It’s a life-long journey that, over time, will make you more like him. The best way to grow in Christ and please your Lord is to establish the following habits in your daily life. If you are ready to begin this new life with Christ, we encourage you to read, review, and memorize his wonderful promises, which are given in his Word, the Bible.

  • Spend time with Jesus in his Word daily.
  • Spend time talking with him in prayer throughout the day.
  • Learn to trust and obey him on a daily basis.
  • Worship him with others in a Christ-centered, Bible-believing church.
  • Share his love and grace with others by word and deed.

May God bless you in your journey!

“Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2, NLT)

If you’ve begun a relationship with Jesus Christ, we encourage you to learn your next steps by reading What Does Jesus Do for You?. If you have questions about Jesus Christ, and why skeptics such as Josh McDowell and C. S. Lewis came to believe in him, visit our website, Y-Jesus.com.

For an online version of this material, visit Is Jesus Relevant Today? at Y-Jesus.com where you can download this article and/or email to others.

For additional printed copies of this article, email us or contact us at: contact@JesusOnline.com.

©2016, JesusOnlineMinistries.org, all rights reserved. 

Endnotes

  1. Quoted in Josh McDowell, More Than A Carpenter (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 1977), 121.
  2. Ibid., 119.
  3. Ibid., 122.
  4. Quoted in Josh McDowell, The Resurrection Factor (San Bernardino, CA: Here’s Life Publ., 1981), 1.
  5. O: The Oprah Magazine, “Oprah talks to Madonna”, (January 2004), 120.
  6. Quoted in William R. Bright, “Jesus and the Intellectual” (San Bernardino, CA: Here’s Life Publ., 1968), 33.
  7. C. S. Lewis, The Case for Christianity, cited in Goodreads, “The Case for Christianity Quotes,” http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/404221-the-case-for-christianity
  8. Ray C. Stedman, God’s Loving Word (Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House, 1993), 50.
  9. A. W. Tozer, Gems from Tozer (Camp Hill, PA: Christian Publications, Inc, 1979), 24.
  10. Ravi Zacharias, Jesus among Other Gods (Nashville: Word, 2000), 158.
  11. Charles W. Colson, Born Again (Old Tappan, NJ: Chosen, 1976), 114.
  12. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (San Francisco: Harper, 2001), 56.
  13. Ravi Zacharias, A Shattered Visage: The Real Face of Atheism (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 2004), 155.
  14. Colson, 129.
  15. McDowell, 125.

34700 Parenting

Children are a precious gift from God, and yet too often they find themselves in an environment of neglect, or even abuse within their own homes. As they learn and grow, they are constantly bombarded with worldly influences that conflict with God’s Word. The strongest influence on our children can be our own character.  Modeling godly behavior and a love for the Lord are vital while providing direction, boundaries, correction, love and encouragement to our children.

How to Build a Healthy Family

Parents with Power

Ever wish you could make someone do the right thing? Parents often watch their children make bad decisions and feel powerless to do anything about it. Unfortunately, many just give in and put a “band-aid” on a situation by giving money instead of time, ignoring a situation instead of disciplining, or trying to be their child’s friend instead of their parent. The best way to love your child is to care enough to correct them when they need it. (read more)

Modeling Behavior for Children

How seriously do you take the Bible? If you read something about parent-child relations in the Bible that contradicts something you read in another book, which teaching do you accept as truth? (read more)

Honoring Parents

Do you and your partner agree on how to raise your children? If not, you may think you are experiencing a marriage problem because you can’t get together on this important issue. This can feel like a pretty hopeless situation. Often times your children have learned how to pit you against one another. By the time they get into their teens, those kids will be able to do what they please, because they will have learned how to manage you instead of you managing them. (read more)

I’m Not Having Fun Yet!

Someone once said to me, “Don’t make parenting so difficult. Just relax and have fun! You don’t have to know everything in order to be a good parent.” Being a parent starts out as a dream. Doting, expectant fathers and their pregnant wives dream about the sweet infant all cozy in pink or blue blankets with cute outfits and fun toys. With smiles in their eyes, they turn to each other and vow, “We’re going to be the best parents ever!”

Then the baby arrives. Suddenly the parents discover “the dream” yells. And smells. And spits. All at 3 a.m. (read more)

Discipline with Love and Conviction

God’s Word instructs us to love one another (1 Peter 1:22). Nearly every parent wants to give his or her children tender, loving, and sacrificial care that flows out of a heart of love; but even the most dedicated mother or father cannot do this unless God is the source of that love. This is because God is love, and as we walk in His love, it will flow to our children through us.

God does not leave us without guidance. In fact, the biblical standard for love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It has fifteen components: suffers long, is kind, does not envy, does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, always bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (read more)

Setting Limits

In all athletic team competitions, the home and visiting teams and their corresponding fans all go by the same rules and boundaries. The rules are published in a book and knowledge of the rules is essential to understanding and playing the game. Making sure the players stay within the limits established by the rule book is the job of the officials. If a player breaks a rule, the referee penalizes the entire team. The player and his team must accept the consequences. The referee’s interpretation of the game is final.

The phrase football game tells us many things. The very name of the game determines the shape of the ball, the dimensions of the playing field, the rules of the game, and the type of clothes the players and officials wear.

The word family also tells us many things. Determined limits make a family unique. (read more)

The Truth about Consequences

We do our children a great favor if we help them understand there are consequences for their actions … good and bad.

Distraught parents often come to me because their children are suffering the consequences of not being adequately supervised. Of course, teenagers do not want to be supervised, but oftentimes dire consequences will be the result of parents adhering to their children’s complaints and demands for more personal freedom in areas where they are unable to cope with temptation. Setting consequences for a child’s choices and then making them happen is a crucial part of teaching children. They must learn the principles expressed in Galatians 6:7: “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” (read more)

Helping Kids Live Within Limits

I want to remind you that raising children is a 20-year process. Twenty years. So those of you with preschool children need to remember that you have a ways to go! So relax, take it easy; there isn’t any one day that makes a whole lot of difference, not in the perspective of 20 years.

In Isaiah 53:6 we read, “All we like sheep have gone astray.” One could think of this verse as the theme for family life. If parents go ”astray,” the children will usually follow. It’s important to recognize the responsibility you have in raising your children. (read more)

Expect Respect from Your Children

The foundation upon which you’re going to build an effective family life is this: You expect your children to honor you. Now how does that happen? That happens when you and your partner sit down and develop guidelines, limits, and rules that both of you are prepared to carry out, and in your considered judgment, are in the best interests of your children. (read more)

Enforcing Boundaries with Children

How seriously do you take your responsibilities as a parent? Do you believe in setting limits and boundaries? Many people these days are saying, “Don’t pressure your child. If they don’t want to do it, don’t force them.” (read more)

Setting Reasonable Limits for Kids

“But Mommy, I don’t want to.” Or maybe, it’s “No, Daddy, I won’t.” Sound familiar? These responses are the “cries of resistance” to major principles parents need to set down concerning their families. These principles are called limits.

When you think about living and working together as a family, setting limits is vital. Children need limits – limits that are fair, reasonable, and as few as possible. The limits of your family need to be clearly communicated and enforced. (read more)

Cooperative Parenthood

If your marriage partner is more intimately involved in your life than anyone else, your children run a close second. You will either reveal or conceal your spirit around your children. (read more)

Four Building Blocks for Raising Children

What do you think is involved in being an effective parent?

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (KJV).

Now that’s a tall order, and a great responsibility, and there are some positive ingredients that make that possible. (read more)

Examples From Case Histories

Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various counseling sessions with parents. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

Everyone Wanting Their Own Way

Jon was 14, a handsome, tough young man. A likable guy, he noticed the pictures on the wall of my office and asked what it took to graduate from the college I’d attended. Someday he wanted to be a professional man, he said. I found out that he liked sports, reading, and church, and had lots of friends.

But when it came to talking about his folks, his eyes became slits, his lips pressed into a line, and his voice raised a couple of levels as he shrilled, “I hate them!”’ (read more)

Damaging Comparisons

Sisters Kendra and Connie Evans were much alike, except that Kendra was an “ugly duckling” in comparison with her blonde, blue-eyed, younger sister. The difference had been repeatedly noted even in childhood.

”What a perfectly beautiful child!” strangers had exclaimed over Connie. And through the years, Mrs. Evans never tired of hearing this praise for her younger daughter.

”Connie is a pretty child,” she would reply. ”It’s just too bad that her sister couldn’t have shared her good fortune.” (read more)

A Mother-Daughter Battle

“I love Betty very much and she knows it. But why is she so rebellious?” Mrs. Grant asked me.

This mother was a sincere Christian, and her teenage daughter had been a continual object of her prayers. She could not get Betty to study, do a chore right, get along with her brother, or even eat properly. It was a mother-daughter battle, and it terribly distressed Mrs. Grant. (read more)

Act Like a Parent!

Isabel Carr complained that her problems began the day she decided to become an obedient wife. “I figured that a Christian woman ought to be subject to her husband,” she said.

And what had ten years of obedience produced? Her husband, Glenn, bowled four nights every week. He paid little attention to the children, even missing their son Dan’s high school graduation because Glenn stayed too long on the golf course. Three months ago, admitting he was growing fond of his secretary, Glenn moved out. He had not contributed a dime to the family since. (read more)

[The articles above are by Dr. Henry Brandt from BiblicalCounselingInsights.com]

34500 Marriage

Most marriage difficulties are rooted in personal problems. Self-centeredness, competition and irresponsibility can threaten the foundation of any marriage. “Marriage God’s Way” includes sacrifice, cooperation and commitment. Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights in the articles below to help teach you how to build a healthy marriage based on Biblical principles.

Building Harmony in Marriage

Those who proceed into marriage with an individualistic mindset create disharmony in their relationship, and usually end up lonely and unhappy. (read more)

Are You and Your Spouse Not Getting Along?

The foundation upon which you build your marriage relationship is a mutually agreeable and mutually binding plan. That’s what makes marriage successful. It’s not a “tingle”; it’s a lifetime commitment. It’s not competition; it’s cooperation. (read more)

A Solid Foundation

“I want to be a better spouse.” You say this, thinking back over a multitude of incidents that make up the history of your family. Some of them were funny when they happened; others are funny only as we look back on them. Still others were serious. Some were puzzling. (read more)

Spirit-Filled Marriage

Nobody gets married without the highest of hopes that this is going to be one of the finest, friendliest, most congenial, most satisfying relationships that anybody ever had. And that is a possibility. It is possible to live that kind of life. However, we need to stop and consider what goes into a relationship that will guarantee happiness, contentment, and satisfaction. (read more)

Who is the Leader?

“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) There it is. One of the most fiercely debated Bible verses concerning marriage. “Why should the wife do all the submitting?” That is the hot question. But here is the greater truth: the wife is not the one who needs to do all the submitting … this verse does not stand alone. (read more)

Marriage God’s Way

“… present yourselves to God …” (Romans 6:13). Sometimes it seems as though a long-lasting marriage is determined by chance or circumstances or just plain old luck. However, there are some steps that will enable you to establish your marriage on a solid foundation that will help you stay in it for the long haul. (read more)

Good Communication

The secret of getting along in marriage lies in two people applying the principle embodied in this verse from the Bible: “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise” (Luke 6:31). This is a workable formula! And amazingly, it is easier to carry out than to trying to figure out the other person. (read more)

Marriage Partnership

The foundation upon which you build your marriage relationship is a mutually agreeable and mutually binding plan. That’s what makes marriage successful. It’s not a “tingle”; it’s a lifetime commitment. It’s not competition; it’s cooperation. Is your partnership built on this foundation? Just as teammates have to go into a game with the same plan, you and your partner must approach your marriage, not with the attitude of ‘me versus you,’ but with the attitude of being fully committed to the same plan. (read more)

An Inner Life for a Healthy Marriage

There is no one person as intimately involved in your life as your marriage partner. So, your partner will make you more conscious of your inner life than anyone else. How are you contributing to happiness in your marriage?

Marriage, like no other human relationship, will keep you up to date on the condition of your inner life. It is a personal decision, unrelated to marriage, whether or not you repent of a negative inner life and allow God to flood your soul with His Spirit. (read more)

Marriage Boundaries

You probably got married as friends, but then found yourselves running into difficulty because you each had your own way of living and doing. You came from one family, and your partner came from another family, and those families were different.

Your job as a couple is to create some boundaries and rules that will guide you in your marriage. But if you’ve never created any rules before, and you or your partner don’t like rules and boundaries, it won’t be an easy task. (read more)

Like-Minded Marriage

Are you experiencing difficulty in your marriage relationship? Are there times when you just can’t seem to get on the same page with your spouse? If you get married with the idea that the person you’re marrying is going to transform your life, turn you into a loving, kind, gentle, cheerful, and happy person, you’re mistaken. Marriage is, first of al,l a matter of your spirit, and marriage will reveal what kind of spirit is in your heart. (read more)

Escaping Difficult Situations

God is with us in every situation, and He is with us right where we are! What we need to discover is how to respond appropriately to our current circumstances. You can either have a wonderful time underneath your skin, or a miserable time underneath your skin, and it’s all up to you. The question is: Do you want to experience true peace, or are you more content with being angry, with bearing a grudge, with complaining, with being cranky? The answer to that question requires some personal reflection! (read more)

Examples From Case Histories

Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various couples he counseled. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

Competing Spouses

When the Dolans, a Christian couple, came to see me, they had not spoken to each other for several weeks. The tension had become unbearable. The issue was over dancing in gym class. Hal Dolan had said flatly that their son should not participate. Melissa Dolan had agreed in front of her husband, but privately gave their son permission to participate. Hal found out about it through a conversation with a neighbor who had visited the gym class. (read more)

The Need for Forgiveness

Neither Frank nor Kate Bonner really wanted to break up their home, yet they were heading in that direction–fast! After 23 years of marriage, Frank had become interested in a younger woman in his office. Kate said she could see why. Kate’s hair was gray, her hands showed the years of housework she had done, her face was lined with the wrinkles of middle age. She was tired much of the time and was subject to frequent and sudden illnesses. (read more)

It’s the Little Things

Everything seemed in their favor when George and Ellie got married. He was a research chemist with a good income, they bought a nice house, were active in the church, and popular with their friends. But in a few weeks this young couple was in my office seeking help. Their story went like this. George came home one night and was greeted as usual in the living room with a tender kiss. But as he held Ellie in his arms, his eyes wandered to a corner of the room and he saw hanging from the ceiling a long, wavy cobweb. He said nothing about it that night, or the next, but both times while maintaining a pleasant appearance, he said to himself in disgust, “What kind of a woman did I marry that she can’t keep her house clean?” (read more)

The Need for Respect

“I’ll post those receipts the way you say to, Ken, but Mr. Roland never had me do them that way,” said Margaret Lowe to her husband in their insurance office. “Mr. Roland … it’s always ‘Mr. Roland did this’ or ‘Mr. Roland didn’t do that’” he snapped. “Don’t forget, Ken,” Margaret said, “Mr. Roland was successful enough to sell out at 50 and move to Florida.” “And when I’m 65, I’ll still be struggling to complete the down payment on the business. You might as well add that,” he growled. For ten years, Margaret had admired Mr. Roland’s keen business sense. When Kenneth Lowe joined Mr. Roland’s sales force, Margaret thought she saw the same qualities in the new employee and she accepted his proposal of marriage after a rather hurried courtship. Then in those first few months of living together she found she didn’t know Ken as well as she had thought. (read more)

The Need for Repentance

Bill and Jan Stanton lived in a long, rambling nine-room ranch house on a three-acre beautifully wooded tract of land. The swimming pool in the backyard, the two expensive cars in the garage, the neatly landscaped yard all added up to the obvious—total success. (read more)

When Independence is Bad

Viola Walker was far from an avid angler, but she did go fishing with her husband, Louis, several times after they were married. Then, after three trips to the same trout steam and enduring her husband’s complaints that she scared the fish away, Viola gave up the fishing business. Viola’s interest was community projects and current events. She became deeply involved in these activities. Then, after one fishing trip, Louis talked about a “genuine fisher woman” who had been in their crowd, and Viola felt a pang of jealousy. And she was hurt when he said he couldn’t stay home to watch her debate the new expressway route on television because he was meeting his fishing friends, including “Lady Walton.” (read more)

Great Expectations

Todd Turner was in trouble: for the third time, his wife had threatened to leave him, and this time she meant it. And all over a dog—or so Todd said. Todd was away from home much of the time and had bought Tracy a dog for company before the birth of their first child. After the baby’s arrival, Todd wanted to get rid of the dog. “If the dog goes, I go, too,” Tracy warned. “All right, go ahead,” he told her. And so they separated. (read more)

[The articles above are by Dr. Henry Brandt from Biblical Counseling Outreach.]

34600 Divorce & Remarriage

What is your situation? It is important that you look at it biblically and see it from God’s perspective.

Is your desire for a mate something God can support based on His directives in the Bible?

There are varying views concerning divorce and remarriage.

Read the following articles prayerfully and ask the Holy Spirit to show you God’s will for you.

The following online articles require Internet access.

Divorce And Remarriage
From The Early Church To John Wesley

by David L. Snuth

The problem of divorce and remarriage is by no means a recent one for the church. From its inception, it has found this problem an irritant. Throughout the centuries, Christian leaders have grappled with the pros and cons of the matter. (read article)

Common Questions Regarding Divorce and Remarriage

by Lance Quinn

Some of the most common questions facing Christians in the local church deal with issues of divorce and remarriage. The following are questions that routinely come up and must be answered by the elders of any local church with great wisdom and skill. The answers given are biblical guidelines that can assist in the process of helping believers. (read article)

I am divorced. Can I remarry according to the Bible?

Questions like these are very difficult to answer because the Bible does not go into great detail regarding the various scenarios for remarriage after a divorce. (read more)

What is the Exception Clause?

The “exception clause” is Jesus’ statement in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 “except for marital unfaithfulness.” It gives an “exception” for remarriage after a divorce being considered adultery. (read more)

34300 Manhood & Womanhood

Biblical Womanhood: Empowered by God’s Design

Unique, beautiful, strong, smart, empathetic, creative, complex … woman. When we think of the vast amount of history surrounding womanhood, we are quickly reminded how deep and wide is the influence of this gender. Many women today are a force to be reckoned with. Not to be taken lightly or misunderstood, they are charging forward to conquer the next goal. What does it mean to be a biblical woman? (read more)

34401 Soul Mates by God

Discover God’s Best for You

Have you ever considered the possibility that God already has a perfect match planned for you? If that’s true, how can you cooperate with him to meet your future soul mate? [read more]

It Starts with Me

You are dreaming of finding the ideal mate from God’s perspective. In other words, you want God’s best for you when it comes to marriage. [read more]

The Next Step

God doesn’t show us everything at once. He doesn’t give us a map laying out everything in his plan for our lives. No, he leads us bit by bit, and we have to follow one step at a time. [read more]

Wrong Motives

Most people probably have not just one but a combination of motivations for wanting to marry. One motivation may predominate over another at any given time. Which motives rise to the top for you? [read more]

Poor Decision-making

Most people don’t really think about how they make decisions. But it’s really important. Even if you don’t have a decision to make regarding your love life right now, someday you will. We want to help you decide how to decide. [read more]

Pursue “Oneness” Potential

God desires “oneness” in marriage. God wants married couples to grow into greater union with each other while simultaneously growing in intimacy with him. [read more]

Avoid the “Type” Trap

If you want to have a healthy, positive, ideal soul-mate relationship, you need to have the right criteria for selecting your type of partner. [read more]


The above articles are abridged versions of chapters from the book, Soul Mate by God (Download the free ebook in PDF). Visit SoulMatebyGod.com for more resources.

34200 Broken Relationships

Anger and unforgiveness are a barrier to our relationship with the Lord and others. Choosing to forgive and love others by faith, regardless of our feelings, is God’s desire. Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights in the articles below to help teach you how to resolve anger. 

How to Deal with Your Anger

Anger is a universal problem. I have observed it in the primitive cannibals in Irian Jaya, uncivilized Indians in the remote jungles of Brazil, illiterate people in tiny villages deep in the forest of Zaire, my playmates when I was a child, in my parents, church members, pastors, highly educated people, the very rich, people in government, and yes, even in myself. Call it what you will: mad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, perturbed, ticked off – all of these words represent a form of anger.

You cannot decide to be angry. You can take elaborate precautions to avoid being angry. But, alas, sooner or later anger underneath your skin is triggered by a memory, someone’s behavior, a conversation, a phone call, or a letter. It can cause your heart to beat faster, make you sweat, tense up your muscles, foul up your digestive system, alter the way you think, dictate how you act, and trigger negative words from your mouth.

There seems to be universal agreement that anger must be tamed. Yet there is vast disagreement over the cause and the cure. (read more)

Put Away Anger and Bitterness

Ephesians 4:31 instructs us to “let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you.” Maybe you struggle with some of these emotions, feeling you have a right to them because of how you’ve been treated.

But Ephesians goes on to say, “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Being kind and forgiving someone is extremely difficult when your feelings aren’t so loving! (read more)

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

“It’s agonizing. Any gathering of people frightens me. In a traffic jam I feel like jumping out of the car and running away. I force myself to go to church and sit there with a feeling of suspense. Even a few customers lined up to buy something in my place of business frightens me. I feel trapped.”

The gentleman speaking was a college graduate and successful in business. He went on, “It started when we moved to an apartment. The people below us and beside us were noisy. We could hear their radios. They would drop things. Often another car was in my parking space. Finally, I insisted on moving to our own home. My wife wasn’t bothered at all by these things and she resisted our moving back to a home of our own, so now there is a wall building between us. (read more)

Overcoming Resentment

Amy was a widow – the consequence of a motorcycle accident. Her husband was killed instantly. It happened two years earlier, and she continued to grieve over the loss of her husband. He was fun-loving and outgoing. She missed his friendly, cheerful presence. She always looked forward to his coming home. They were best friends. There were no children. She now lives alone in the house they were buying. She works in the church office and loves her job. When the church doors are open, she is always there. But going home is hard and lonely. Some friends have suggested that she move out of the house and live somewhere else. Her house holds too many memories. (read more)

Escaping Difficult Situations

 “Love, joy, and peace would be ours if only we could get off this island.” These were the words of a couple who found themselves in a frustrating situation.

You might identify with this couple’s statement because you’re feeling, “If I could only get out of the situation I’m in, that would do it for me. I could be happy. I could do the Lord’s work. I could love other people.” (read more)

Choose the Right Response

Are you troubled by things you’ve done, by what you’ve said to people, or by what people have said to you? Are your words typically supportive, or do you find yourself often critical, caustic or hostile? (read more)

Examples From Case Histories

Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various counseling situations. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

A Mother-Daughter Battle

“I love Betty very much and she knows it. But why is she so rebellious?” Mrs. Grant asked me.

This mother was a sincere Christian, and her teenage daughter had been a continual object of her prayers. She could not get Betty to study, do a chore right, get along with her brother, or even eat properly. It was a mother-daughter battle, and it terribly distressed Mrs. Grant. (read more)

As to the Lord

Bart Nolan was a key designer in a large supersonic aircraft company. Some of the best features of these fast, high-flying planes originated in his creative mind. However, Bart’s boss often tinkered with the finished designs. This worried Bart; he was afraid the tinkering might someday show up as an expensive failure.

The boss took credit for a thing if it worked, and if it didn’t, he blamed Bart, who thought it only natural that he had grown to dislike the boss. (read more)

Choices

My wife and I were driving along I-95 through Florida on a beautiful, sunny afternoon. We were chatting pleasantly. The cruise control was set at 70 miles per hour and we were in the middle lane. A car on the left whizzed past us and suddenly swerved into our lane. I had to stomp quickly on the brakes to prevent a nasty accident. My wife didn’t see the car but she felt the effect of the brakes, which caused her body to lurch forward. I calmly told her what had happened. Together we watched that car weave in and out of different lanes until it was out of sight. (read more)

The Misery of Unforgiveness

A well-groomed man of nearly 60 sought me out after I had spoken at a banquet and said to me, “I’ve got a story you must hear.” I sat with him and heard an amazing testimonial to God’s grace. Here is his story (read more).