Apicontent

Visitors to Castle Ward, a country estate near Strangford Lough in Ireland, are treated to the sight of a house divided against itself, literally. One façade is in the classical style, while the other is in the Gothic style. This difference in design extends to the interior of the house, where the rooms that were most frequented by females are adventurously decorated and the male preserves are more conservative and conventional. 

The architectural discord is due to a difference of opinion between Bernard Ward (later Viscount Bangor) and his wife, Lady Anne Bligh, at the time the house was under construction in the 1760s. Apparently the couple could not agree on a single style for their new house that would suit them both, so they “agreed to disagree.” The house bears the marks of their disagreement to this day.

Like Lord and Lady Bangor, some people today have a history of being involved in disagreements. From fistfights on the playground to power plays in the office to arguments on a church committee, they are known for being at odds with others. They are quarrelsome, critical, and divisive.

In listing the acts of the sinful nature in Galatians 5, Paul included “divisions” and “the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group” (verse 20). He was describing what goes on in a body of people when its members don’t agree. This is a type of “home divided against itself” and “kingdom at war with itself” (Matthew 12:25).

The sin of divisiveness raised its head early on among Paul’s new congregation at Corinth. At one point in a letter to them, Paul had to say, “Now, dear brothers and sisters, I appeal to you by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ to stop arguing among yourselves.”

I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. For some members of Chloe’s household have told me about your quarrels, my dear brothers and sisters. Some of you are saying, “I am a follower of Paul.” Others are saying, “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Peter,” or “I follow only Christ.” Has Christ been divided into factions? Was I, Paul, crucified for you? Were any of you baptized in the name of Paul? Of course not! —1 Corinthians 1:10–13

Divisiveness can be a problem in any type of team or group. But in a church group, particularly, unity is essential to bearing fruit. It is as we are all in one accord that we move ahead, under the Spirit’s direction, to the future that God has for us. God bids us, as much as it is possible, to “live in peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). 

When an individual is picking a fight with someone else or setting one part of a group against another, he or she is at fault before God and the body.

Are you uncertain about whether this sin habit of divisiveness describes you? Keep your mind open as we look at different kinds of quarreling and ways of using words that lead to division.

The Monster of Strife

In a fable called “Hercules and Pallas,” Aesop told a story that is instructive for people who find themselves embroiled in conflict.

It seems that Hercules, journeying along a narrow roadway, came across a strange-looking animal that reared its head and threatened him. Undaunted, the hero gave the animal a few powerful blows with his club.

Hercules would then have gone on his way. But much to his astonishment, the monster grew three times as big as it was before and appeared still more threatening.

The hero redoubled his blows, striking fast and furiously at the monster. But the harder and quicker came the strokes of his club, the bigger and more frightful grew the monster. It now completely filled the road.

Just then Pallas appeared upon the scene. “Stop, Hercules. Cease your blows,” she said. “The monster’s name is Strife. Leave it alone, and it will soon become as little as it was at first.”

Of course, every Aesop fable has its moral. What do you suppose is this one’s? “Strife feeds on conflict.”

Some people seem to have a knack for contributing to a conflict so that strife grows and grows. Maybe it is starting shouting matches with family members. Maybe it is alienating friends by talking about them behind their back. Maybe it is creating divisions in teams and groups. In any case, such people have a problem that calls for more than learning better social behavior; it is really a sin habit we are talking about.

These people need to know that in fact they are involved in a complex of sins. Certainly, sins of any sort rarely if ever stand on their own. But fighting, in particular, is a sin that tends to company with others of its kind. Sins like anger, bitterness, and envy often erupt into visibility by means of the sin of quarreling. The apostle James explored this interaction of fighting and other sins.

“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you?” James asked a contentious bunch of early Christians. And then he answered his own question. “Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it” (James 4:1–2).

Due to the serious nature of its causes, conflict between individuals can be severe and bitter. And the closer the two people are, the more bitter the conflicts may become. This was well illustrated for me (Henry) in a true story about a man named Bert told to me by my friend Tim Daley.

Brotherly Hate

Bert was a Christian man and a successful insurance agent who had other agents working for him. Among these other agents was Bert’s older brother, Allan, whom Bert had taken on with some trepidation because of the strain their working arrangement might put on their relationship. The trepidation Bert had felt proved to be prophetic.

All was fine at first, but then Allan refused to comply with some new procedures Bert established for all his agents to follow. Over the period of a full year, the two brothers had many strained and heated conversations about the issue. Finally, one day when they were throwing verbal bricks at each other, Allan cleaned out his office and left.

Feeling badly about what had happened, Bert called his brother on the phone a few days later. The verbal barrage started up again and ended only when Bert hung up on Allan. He was livid with rage.

There was no contact between the two for a month. Meanwhile, Bert consulted with biblical counselor Tim Daley about the situation.

After listening intently to the story, Tim leaned forward and said to Bert, “You are a bitter, angry man. The way you talked to your brother is unacceptable as a Christian example. You need to repent and then apologize to your brother for your bad attitude. You will not find peace until you do.”

Bert was not prepared for that response. He was expecting some reassurance that he was justified in his response because of the problem Allan had created. Nevertheless, he pondered Tim’s advice.

At first Bert did nothing. He was afraid to call his brother and did not want to admit he was wrong. In the end, though, he admitted his sin to God and asked to be cleansed and empowered to love his brother. To his surprise, his resistance to calling Allan turned into an urge to see him.

Bert managed to overcome Allan’s reluctance and arranged a twenty-minute meeting. At the appointed time, as Bert looked at his brother, he sensed nothing but compassion for him in his heart; all the bitterness was gone. He proceeded to apologize for the attitude he’d had toward Allan and asked forgiveness. Both brothers had tears in their eyes.

Later, Bert would say to my friend Tim that at that moment it was as though a two-hundred-pound weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

As we see in the case of Bert and Allan, the unrighteous use of words plays a major role in our conflicts with others. Words can be tools to build up or they can be weapons to destroy.

Words as Weapons

Interpersonal conflict usually occurs because of, and by means of, the words we use. “Harsh words make tempers flare” (Proverbs 15:1). With words, we quarrel, argue, and dispute. With words, we gossip, slander, and smear. With words, we mock and ridicule, taunt and deride. With words, we criticize and judge and curse and condemn. Certainly your authors can look back on times when we wish we could have taken back words we had spoken—but that’s never possible.

The apostle James was right in saying that the tongue has a destructive power far beyond what its small size might suggest.

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. —James 3:3–6

We sometimes use our tongue like a weapon, to hurt and to maim others. Even if a part of us realizes that what we are doing is wrong, we cannot seem to stop ourselves. The tongue at such times seems wild, unmanageable.

James, again, told us what this is like. “People can tame all kinds of animals and birds and reptiles and fish,” he said, “but no one can tame the tongue.”

People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! —James 3:7–10

Have you tried and failed to tame your tongue? If you have a divisiveness habit, it is almost guaranteed that you have a tongue like a poisonous snake that has gotten loose from its cage. The people nearby had better watch out!

You had better watch out too if you are prone to saying wicked things. Jesus explained, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak” (Matthew 12:35–36).

Two of the chief ways people hurt others are by gossiping about them and by slandering them.

Telling Tales

One need only look at entertainment news to see how much we, as a society, love to know details from the lives of celebrities and other public figures—and the more intimate the detail, the better we like it. A similar dynamic is at work in our lives when we put gossip into circulation, or pass it on secondhand, and when we shoot out slander like a dart full of poison.

Gossip is passing around tales of an intimate nature about another. An example is telling Marilyn in Accounts Receivable that Phil in Marketing has separated from his wife. Slander, on the other hand, is telling a deliberate falsehood about someone else that damages that person’s reputation. Here an example would be claiming that Phil has been embezzling from the company, when in fact he has not. Both forms of talebearing are wrong.

If the tongue is a flame of destruction set on fire by hell itself, as James said, this is certainly true in the case of gossip. “Scoundrels create trouble; their words are a destructive blaze” (Proverbs 16:27).

Ramona Cramer Tucker tells a story about a friend of hers named Michelle, who learned too late the danger of gossip.

While at a restaurant over lunch, Michelle and her coworker, Sharon, stopped in the restroom to fix their makeup before returning to their jobs. Their small talk turned to the subject of who drove them crazy. Immediately Michelle launched into a two-minute diatribe about Beth, a mutual coworker. As Michelle prepared to divulge more specifics, a stall door opened. Out walked Beth, red-faced and angry.

In a split second, what had seemed like a pressure-relief session turned into an awkward mess. Michelle and Beth stared at each other in embarrassed panic. Michelle knew she couldn’t take her words back. In the instant their eyes met, Beth fled out the door. That afternoon, Beth didn’t return to work, and the next day Michelle heard through the grapevine that Beth had resigned.1

Michelle did not know Beth was listening and had no idea her words would have such an effect. But it does not matter. She should have been watching what she said about Beth anyway.

Gossip proceeds from an unkind spirit. Since gossip is rarely about something that reflects positively on another, passing it on may be an exercise in taking delight in another’s error or misfortune. The desire to gossip is often connected with other sins, such as idleness, gloating, and a desire for advantage (possessing information makes one powerful).

The book of Proverbs reveals some of the wicked consequences of gossip.

Gossip makes people mad. “As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!” —Proverbs 25:23

Gossip prolongs arguments. “Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.”—Proverbs 26:20

Gossip ruins relationships. “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.”—Proverbs 16:28

A Welsh saying states, “a gossip’s mouth is the Devil’s mailbag.” May none of us deliver any mail postmarked “Hell.”

As devilish as gossip is, talebearing crosses a line to a new level of seriousness when it becomes slander.

God’s position on slander is clear enough. “Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people,” He said (Leviticus 19:16). “I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors” (Psalm 101:5). “Get rid of all…harsh words, and slander” (Ephesians 4:31).

Christians tell harmful untruths about others more often than we would like to believe. Usually they are motivated by hate, jealousy, or a thirst for revenge. We can be certain that something has gone seriously wrong in the spirit of a Christ follower who slanders another, especially if the slander is part of an ongoing pattern of behavior.

A. B. Simpson, an evangelical leader from a century back, spoke words we would be wise to take to heart today. He said, “I would rather play with the forked lightning, or take in my hands living wires with their fiery current, than speak a reckless word against any servant of Christ, or idly repeat the slanderous darts which thousands of Christians are hurling on others, to the hurt of their own souls and bodies.”

But gossip and slander are not the only ways to hurt others with words. Criticism and judgmentalism are two more.

Destructive Speech

Russian theologian Alexander Schmemann and his fiancée were sitting in a Paris Métro subway train when a badly dressed and unattractive old woman got on and sat down across from them. Speaking in Russian, the couple began to talk about her and to laugh about her appearance, assuming all the while that she could not understand what they were saying. As the train pulled up to a station, though, the woman stopped in front of them and said in perfect Russian, “But I was not always so old or so ugly.” Then without another word, she stepped onto the station platform, never to be seen by the couple again.

Schmemann reported later that he was not only shocked that he and his fiancée had been understood by the woman, but worse, he was shocked to realize that he, a follower of Christ, had so easily dehumanized another and ripped away some of her few remaining shreds of dignity. He was driven to confession before the Lord.

Criticism is a kind of speech that tears down; it is not an expression of love that wants to build the other up. One biblical proverbialist said, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven” (Proverbs 17:9). The apostle Paul warned, “If you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another” (Galatians 5:15).

Do you find fault with others? Do you point out their mistakes? Do you tease them about their weaknesses? Then remember what Paul said: “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them” (Ephesians 4:29).

If your criticism is tinged with self-righteousness, then you are likely guilty of judgmentalism. This is finding fault with others specifically about their spiritual or moral condition. The New Testament is consistent in saying that God alone has the ability and right to judge others’ standing before Him.

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, “Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,” when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. —Matthew 7:1–5

Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor? —James 4:11–12

If you see something that appears wrong in the spiritual life of another, do not presume that it is your job to flag the error for others. Instead, use it as a reminder that you need to examine yourself for similar flaws. Learn not to create conflict in this way but to set an example of harmony.

Learning to Get Along

In his modern classic, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, author J. R. R. Tolkien tells the story of nine individuals who band together as “the fellowship of the Ring” to thwart the plans of the evil Sauron. In the course of their harrowing adventures, the nine often quarrel and disagree with one another—elf against dwarf, men against hobbits. But in the end, the fellowship holds together sufficiently for the group to succeed in rescuing Middle-earth from the perilous power of the Ring.

Tolkien was a Christian, and so maybe he had the church in the back of his mind as he developed his conception of the fellowship of the Ring. We are to be that body of people who overcome the human tendencies to fracture and fragment, such that others will look at us and know us by our “love for one another” (John 13:35). This goes even for Christians who have an ingrained habit of fighting with others.

What was on Jesus’ mind when whip, thorn, and nail were just hours away? Among other things, He was concerned about you and me getting along with each other. In His words to the Father, He said, “I pray that they will all be one, just as You and I are one—as You are in Me, Father, and I am in You. And may they be in us so that the world will believe You sent Me” (John 17:21).

Such unity and harmony are not ours just by choosing them; they are possible only through supernatural enabling. When Christ departed this world, He left behind the Holy Spirit to live in us and work in our hearts. He softens our hearts toward one another and quells our tendency toward conflict. For this reason, Paul could say, “Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace” (Ephesians 4:3).

As we work through the soul-healing process, we should be seeking the virtue of harmony with others to take the place that was once filled by conflict. Our final word on the subject to you, then, is the same as that of the apostle Paul: “Live in harmony with each other” (Romans 12:16).

Soul Prescription for Divisiveness

Are you struggling with a habit of being divisive? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

When we are constant sources of conflict and strife, it is obvious that we are not truly seeing God for who He is. What aspects of your view of God may be influencing your conflict problem? The points listed below will help you begin the process of self-analysis.

• God is love; there is no place in His kingdom for conflict.
  We don’t need to write to you about the importance of loving each other, for God Himself has taught you to love one another. —1 Thessalonians 4:2
• God is merciful and He expects us to show mercy to others.
  Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. —Ephesians 4:2

When you view God as a loving and merciful being, you will respond in like manner to those around you. Undertake a survey on the Bible’s passages on God’s peaceable nature. Tools such as a concordance and a topical Bible can help you in this task.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

What erroneous beliefs do you have that justify your combative spirit? Chances are, you have some false beliefs about yourself, about other people, and about how life works. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you believe you must always correct others when they are wrong?
  Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out. —Proverbs 17:14
• Do you believe you have the right to say spiteful things about others because of something they have said about you?
  Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. —Romans 12:18

Continue your Bible study by examining what Scripture says about harmony and unity. As you do so, reconsider your beliefs, acknowledged or unspoken, that may have helped turn you into a fighter. Conform your thinking to God’s truth.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

What type of conflict are you engaged in? Is it gossip? Quarreling? Judgmentalism? Something else? Identify it specifically.

After admitting your sin to yourself, admit it to God. Pray the following prayer of repentance (or pray in your own words):

God, I am guilty of _________. It is sin, and I am sorry for it. Please forgive me for being a person of conflict and strife. Cleanse me of that sin, I pray. Then grant me some of Your power to keep from participating in conflict the next time the potential arises. And the next. And the next. In Christ’s name, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Beware the world, the flesh, and the Devil, who will want to goad you into fighting again. They want nothing better than to see you contradict your repentance by returning to a pattern of conflict. Do not be naive about these foes!

• In God’s eyes, harmony among people is a high value. In the world system, though, conflict is seen as a way of getting what you want. Watch out for worldly values that would justify your sinful tendency toward conflict. Overcome the world by rejecting its values.
• God honors those who control their desires to say and do things that divide people. Your flesh, or sinful nature, however, still enjoys the feeling of power that comes from mixing it up with people. Do not forget that the sinful nature has been crucified and that you do not have to give in to its desires. Give in to the Spirit instead.
• God provides a way out of every situation where you would be tempted to spread strife. Satan, on the other hand, gladly points out each opportunity you have to fight, gossip, and judge. Resist his schemes with the “shoes of peace” and the rest of the spiritual armor (see Ephesians 6:10–18).

Remain alert to any temptation that would draw you back into your sin of conflict. Seek the resources offered by God to defend against the attacks when they come. Those resources are more than enough to beat back all attacks.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

If you do not want to give in to the temptation of conflict, get away from it as fast as you can!

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  You get into conflict when you focus on what others have done to upset you. So instead, keep your focus on God and His peace-loving nature. Learn to jump right into prayer when a situation arises that makes you want to fight.
• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Find encouraging words in the Scriptures that you can learn from and memorize for times when you are inclined to jump into the fray. Psalm 133 is one eligible passage.

How wonderful and pleasant it is 
when brothers live together in harmony.
For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil 
that was poured over Aaron’s head, 
that ran down his beard and 
onto the border of his robe.
Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon 
that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And the Lord has pronounced his blessing, 
even life everlasting.

• Establish safeguards. 
  Are there certain things that trigger your tendency to sin through conflict? Of course there are. Take practical precautions to avoid those triggering situations. These are the kinds of things you can try:

• If you like to gossip, avoid people who pass on juicy tidbits to you in the first place.
• If you start arguments when your spouse criticizes something in your behavior, try harder to meet his or her expectations.
• If you joined a committee and seem to always be the center of conflict, resign the committee.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not participate in conflict.

• Expect victory. 

Every day is a new day. Though you may have slipped into conflict regularly in the past, you can now become a peacemaker with the help of the Prince of Peace. Thank God in advance for the victory He will give.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

In 1967, the ministry that Vonette and I (Bill) had started years earlier, Campus Crusade for Christ, was running smoothly and expanding steadily. But trouble was brewing on the inside. A half dozen regional directors had become disappointed with me as the CEO, and one day in October, they asked for a meeting with me. I agreed to hear them out. 

These men had no complaints about my character or ethics. But they did have criticism to offer about my leadership style and philosophy and even one or two points of my theology. Furthermore, they thought my skills were not adequate for the challenges our ministry was then facing. In consequence, they asked me to resign.

I loved these men—I did then and I do now. I had poured myself into them. I trusted them. So what they were saying was shocking to me. But it was as though God wrapped a protective shield around me. I did not feel as if I had to react out of anger, and I was able to listen to them patiently.

Finally I said, “Let’s talk about this. I’ve got blind spots just like anybody else, and I’m very sorry I’ve disappointed you.”

But then I added, “Gentlemen, there’s one thing you need to know: Vonette and I started this movement by ourselves with the Lord. By the end of the day, there may be only the two of us left, but we started Campus Crusade for Christ and we will continue to direct it. God gave me this vision, and I’m going to be faithful to that vision.”

When the meeting was over, I did not know what would happen. Perhaps my critics would be successful in pushing me out of my position. But what really happened was that, over the next several months, the six disaffected regional directors all left Campus Crusade voluntarily.

Over the years since then, most of these former Crusade leaders have apologized to me. Meanwhile, I took steps to encourage constructive criticism within the organization’s leadership structure. I matured as a result of this experience, and so did Campus Crusade.

One thing I learned from this episode, though, was just how painful rebellion can be. By God’s choice, I was in charge of the ministry, and it was deeply hurtful to me when my subordinates would not accept my authority. I felt personally attacked and I was concerned that my position had been weakened.

The fact is that in life there are authority structures. In governments, in businesses, in churches, in homes, some people are leaders over others. In different situations, indeed, each of us is a follower and a leader. Except in certain limited situations, to reject or undermine properly instituted authority is to rebel against the order God has established in human society.

Some people seem to be rebels and dissenters by nature. Using either passive or aggressive tactics (maybe both), they seek to overthrow the authority that others have over them. Obeying rankles with them, and so they do it as little as possible.

If this describes your behavior, you have a sin habit requiring repentance before God. Consider the types of rebellion as we describe them, keeping in mind the question Am I willing to begin the healing process for my sin habit of rebellion?

Rebellion at Home

Mary had rebelled against the preaching of her father, a godly pastor. This young woman lived with her boyfriend in open defiance of the biblical teaching she had received. She thought her new lifestyle would bring her happiness. Quickly, though, she became filled with hatred and resentment. When a mutual friend brought Mary to my office for counsel, I (Bill) had to explain that she was going through difficult times because she had rebelled against God and her father.

Mary and many others like her have violated the fifth commandment: “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12). This is one way rebellion can upset the natural order God has established in a family. It always produces harm, as in Mary’s case. Compliance with the commandment, on the other hand, results in blessing.

The apostle Paul said as much when he reaffirmed the fifth commandment for Christian families.

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” —Ephesians 6:1–31

Even when we are grown up, we still have a responsibility to honor (though not necessarily obey) our parents. As adults, we can honor our parents by forgiving them when they have wronged us, respecting their God-given position, caring for their needs, and loving them.2 To refuse to do these things is to rebel against the order God has established between the generations of a family.

Another type of rebellion that can upset the family order is a lack of submission by a wife to her husband. We know this is a controversial subject these days. And most certainly we would not want wifely submission to be interpreted to mean that the wife becomes a doormat for her husband. But at the same time, we affirm the unequivocal teaching of Scripture.

For wives, this means submit your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of His body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. —Ephesians 5:22–243

Though men and women are equal in importance, dignity, and ability, as well as in their relationship to God, He has granted to husbands the leadership in the home. As with all types of Christian leadership, however, the husband’s leadership in the home is a servant leadership—he is to seek to understand his wife, meet her needs, and express love to her. Assuming she fulfills her duty of respecting her husband, their roles produce a complementary relationship between the two that ideally enables each to reach his or her full potential.

If there is discord between a husband and wife, the problem might be a failure in his leadership. But it also might be a failure in her followership. Some wives have fallen into a pattern of balking at their husbands’ initiative, whittling away at their husbands’ dignity, or openly scoffing at what the men suggest. This is rebellion within marriage, and it is wrong.

Paul used different words in his instructions to children and wives: children are to “obey” their parents, while wives are to “submit” to their husbands.4 This difference reflects the fact that wives are equals with their husbands, whereas children are clearly subordinate to their parents.

Husbands and fathers also have a responsibility to model submission and obedience to God and other authorities in their life.

What example are they setting for their family? Do they demonstrate a desire to follow God wholeheartedly and live according to His ordained authority structure? If a man is living in rebellion, it is much more difficult for his wife to be submissive or his children to be obedient.

Rebellion can do much harm. Our families would not be in the sorry state they are in today if all of us would understand and fulfill our family roles better.

The same could be said for our churches.

Rebellion at Church

Arguably, 2 Corinthians is the most painful book of the New Testament to read. In these pages we listen to the anguish of a faithful apostle who was forced to defend his God-given position of authority over the church he had founded in Corinth, a city of Greece.

Some teachers had arrived in Corinth and were criticizing Paul in his absence. We are not sure who they were or exactly what they were teaching, but by reading between the lines we can conclude that these other leaders were accusing Paul of having inadequate authority, not being trustworthy, embezzling offerings, and being a braggart in his letters but a coward in person. Sadly, many of the Corinthian believers who should have known better were nodding along with these charges.

Paul wrote 2 Corinthians to defend himself. In it he said that he had been given a special call to be an apostle, as evidenced by how he had suffered for Christ. He had always taught the Corinthians the truth and acted in a selfless, aboveboard manner toward them. Given these truths, he deserved respect as their spiritual father. “We are not reaching beyond these boundaries when we claim authority over you,” said Paul, “for we were the first to travel all the way to Corinth with the Good News of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:14).

We do not know exactly how matters turned out within the congregation at Corinth, but since they preserved Paul’s letters, they presumably continued to hold him in some esteem.

What about in our churches today? Can the leaders count on the cooperation of the rest of the members? Let’s say an elder board senses that God wants to do new things through the congregation by refocusing their efforts. Will the members go along with the changes, or will they cling to outmoded programs they have grown too comfortable with? Or consider a case where Dale is selected as teacher of the adult Sunday school class instead of Marvin. Will Marvin be a supporter of Dale’s efforts, or will he make it subtly known that he would have done a better job?

Certainly if church leaders are teaching false doctrine, we must try to correct their error. Or if we think they are making a strategic mistake, we may choose to raise the issue in an appropriate forum. But those are exceptions. The rule should be that all of us cooperate with those whom God has placed in positions of authority over us in the church. This rule is consistently taught in Scripture.

“Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say,” ordered the writer to the Hebrews. “Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit” (Hebrews 13:17).

Paul told the Thessalonians, “Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work” (1 Thessalonians 5:12–13).

The young pastor Titus had a heart filled with love when the Corinthians “obeyed him and welcomed him with such fear and deep respect” (2 Corinthians 7:15). Our church leaders will feel the same toward us as we honor them for their shepherding over us.

A cooperative spirit seems appropriate to many when it comes to the church. But what about in secular society, particularly in that sphere of life where many of us spend so much of our time: our jobs?

Rebellion at Work

You have probably seen framed posters that feature beautiful nature images and inspirational slogans designed to motivate workers. But did you know that there is a line of products parodying these posters by inverting their messages? One company produces posters, notepads, and the like that feature beautiful pictures paired with cynical statements.

One poster features a tiger lying sleepily on a tree branch. The slogan says, “It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.”

Another poster shows one hand passing a racer’s baton to another. The slogan here? “The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.”

A third poster displays an eagle soaring above a mountain. “Leaders are like eagles. We don’t have either of them here.”5

We can laugh at such spoofs. And certainly these products expose some of the follies of the modern workplace. But imagine that you are a boss trying to do the best for your company, and then one day an employee of yours puts up a poster in his cubicle declaring, “Leaders are like eagles. We don’t have either of them here.” What would that do to your motivation?

Workplace insubordination comes in many forms. Sometimes it consists of flagrant backstabbing. Just as Judas betrayed Jesus to His enemies, so some employees will set their bosses up to take a fall. Perhaps they see it as a way of getting revenge or as aiding their own climb up the ladder.

Other times insubordination is more subtle (but just as serious). Resisting change, criticizing the boss behind his back, dragging one’s heels, neglecting to comply with the details of a plan, sabotaging an unpopular project—these and more are forms of rebellion against authority in the workplace. And these are unacceptable behaviors for Christians.

The Golden Rule applies here as in all interpersonal relationships: treat others as you would want them to treat you. And in fact, one day you may be elevated to the position that your boss now holds. How will you want your employees to react to you then? Set an example of cooperation with company leadership now.

The apostle Paul wrote on this subject to some early Christians who were slaves. While the slave/master relationship does not exactly parallel our modern employee/employer relationship, Paul’s words are nevertheless instructive to those of us with jobs today.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. —Ephesians 6:5–86

That’s the opposite of demotivating, isn’t it? If you have been insubordinate on the job, replace “slaves” with “employees” and “masters” with “bosses,” then make Paul’s words your motto to live by.

But there is still one more major realm of life in which we must consider the dangers of rebellion: our role as citizens of the land.

Rebellion in Society

During the period when Moses was leading the Hebrews in the Sinai desert, a tribal leader named Korah instigated a rebellion with 250 other Hebrew leaders. These men approached Moses and his brother, Aaron, and asked them, “What right do you have to act as though you are greater than the rest of the LORD’s people?” (Numbers 16:3).

Here was the authentic voice of rebellion. It has been echoed down through the ages as individuals, with whatever mixture of selfish and altruistic motives, have sought to take away the power of those in authority over them in the community. Sometimes they are successful; sometimes they are not. In the case of Korah versus Moses, God passed sentence by opening up the earth to swallow the conspirators. It seems God did not appreciate it when people tried to replace the leader He had picked.

But few of us would ever consider starting a coup. We are more likely to register our disappointment in our civil leaders by criticizing, whining, and complaining. That happened in ancient Israel too. “The whole congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness” (Exodus 16:2 kjv). The King James version uses the word “murmur” that fits the noise we collectively make when we grumble about what is happening in government instead of taking constructive steps for change—or just holding our tongue.

We can learn an important lesson from the case of the “murmuring” Hebrews. As the apostle Paul wrote, “Don’t grumble as some of them did, and then were destroyed by the angel of death. These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age” (1 Corinthians 10:10–11).7

The New Testament is quite definite on the point that Christians are to be obedient to civil authorities. The clearest exposition of this point occurs in the letter to the Romans, where Paul said, “Obey the government, for God is the one who put it there.”

Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.

Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority. —Romans 13:1–78

Paul was writing about the government in Rome. The Roman Empire, while being an agent of civil order in many ways, had nevertheless forcibly occupied many of its neighboring lands, including the Holy Land. Israel had no more chance of being allowed its independence than an Eastern Bloc nation had of being set free by the Soviet Union at the height of the Cold War. Paul himself would eventually be executed by officers of the Roman government.

This shows us that we must not wait for our government to be all that we wish before we will give it our proper obedience as citizens. Even if our leaders are less than perfect (and who is not?), we should show respect to them. David offers us a beautiful example of this.

When David was a young man, the king of Israel, Saul, became jealous of David and wanted to kill him. Though David had done nothing wrong, he had to go on the run. At one point while Saul was searching the wilderness for David, the younger man had an opportunity to assassinate the king. But he did not do it. He even felt badly about his decision to cut off a piece of Saul’s robe. “The LORD knows I shouldn’t have done that to my lord the king,” he said to his men. “The LORD forbid that I should do this to my lord the king and attack the LORD’s anointed one, for the LORD Himself has chosen him” (1 Samuel 24:6). Even after Saul died in battle and David himself became king, David continued to honor his predecessor’s memory.

Our first reaction to any requirement placed upon us by duly instituted authorities in our society should be to obey. As Jesus Himself said, we should “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar” (Matthew 22:21). Caesar was head of the much-hated Roman government.

Of course, Jesus also said, “Everything that belongs to God must be given to God.” What does that mean for us?

Rebellion Against God

Rebellion against human authority figures is always rebellion against God in an indirect sense because it means refusing to accept the order He has established. But there is also such a thing as direct rebellion against God. Some people refuse to obey His commands in Scripture or His individual leading in their lives.

The truth is, the most unhappy people in the world are not unbelievers, many of whom are ignorantly and blissfully happy in their sin, albeit temporarily; the most unhappy people in the world are Christians who resist the will of God for their lives. The Christian who refuses to do the will of God must be prepared to pay the price of disobedience. “You will always harvest what you plant” (Galatians 6:7).

A man in Sweden stubbornly resisted God’s call to ministry, even through the death of his wife and daughter. He went into business and prospered, only to be robbed by his own son. In his older years, he languished with cancer. He said, “I know that I am saved, but, oh, the loss, for I know that I soon will be ushered into His presence only to give an account of a whole life of disobedience.”

Did this man really know Christ? Consider the Bible’s words:

And we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments. If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did. —1 John 2:3–6

Whether the Swedish man was a true Christian or not, we can say we have never met a happy disobedient Christian or an unhappy obedient one.

R. A. Torrey, a famous educator and evangelist, told the story of a woman who came to him and said she did not believe in the Bible anymore. When he asked her why, she replied, “Because I have tried its promises and found them untrue. The Bible says, ‘Whatsoever ye ask believing, ye shall receive.’ Well, I fully expected to get things from God in prayer, but I did not receive them, so the promise failed.”

Dr. Torrey then turned her to 1 John 3:22: “We will receive from Him whatever we ask because we obey Him and do the things that please Him.” Then he said, “Were you keeping His commandments and doing those things pleasing in His sight?”

She confessed she was not.

Her trouble was not that the Bible’s promises were not true; it was her own disobedience that was the problem. May that never be the case with any of us. As the fifteenth-century religious writer Thomas à Kempis is said to have prayed every day, let us say to God, “As Thou wilt; what Thou wilt; when Thou wilt.”

This brings us to an interesting question. What do we do when our obedience to God would seem to conflict with our obedience to human authority figures? Is it ever acceptable to disobey earthly authority, whether that be of government, business, church, or home?

Disobedience—When and How

Certainly our normal response to authority should be obedience. But if a human leader is calling us to do something that would require us to disobey God, then we can and should refuse to obey the human leader. Actually, in such a case, we are still being obedient, only it is to the higher authority (God) when there is a conflict with a lesser authority (some human leader).

We see a clear example of this in the history of the early church. When Peter and the other apostles were hauled up before the Jewish high council, the Sanhedrin, for preaching about Jesus after they had been told not to, they boldly declared to the council members, “We must obey God rather than any human authority” (Acts 5:29). Complying with the Sanhedrin’s restriction would have meant violating the Great Commission, given to them by Jesus not long before. That the disciples could not do.

Neither can we disobey God in order to obey someone else.

• If a parent urges his teenager to cheat on a test, the teen should say no.
• If a husband suggests that he and his wife watch a pornographic movie “to spice things up,” she should refuse.
• If a pastor preaches that faith in Jesus is not the only way to acceptance with God, a church member should object.
• If a boss tells an employee to do something unethical, the employee should not comply.
• If a government official seeks a bribe to do a favor, a citizen should blow the whistle.

These responses are not rebellion. They are not a refusal to accept authority per se, but rather they are a considered reaction to a specific injustice. Such a reaction is more akin to civil disobedience than to rebellion. One can remain the “loyal opposition” while disobeying on ethical grounds.

Of course, there are poor ways and better ways to disobey when the need arises. Here are a few guidelines to remember:

Raise objections respectfully.

• Continue to love the other, making sure your objection does not turn into a personal attack.
• Choose the right time and place, working through proper channels to the extent that it is possible.
• State your reasons logically and do not let your emotions run away with you.
• Seek justice but at the same time be ready to forgive.

These legitimate responses to errors by those in authority are in keeping with a general pattern of obedience to authority. For those of us who have a habit of rebellion, obedience is a virtue to ask the Lord to build into our lives instead of sin.

Get Yourself in Line

We want to be clear about one thing. In authority relationships, responsibility goes both ways. Possessing authority is never the same thing as having a license for tyranny. The misuse of power is as great a sin, perhaps greater, than rebellion.

The same New Testament passages that speak about children’s submission to their parents, wives’ submission to their husbands, and slaves’ submission to their masters also speak about the responsibilities of those in authority. In fact, Christians are all to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Leaders submit by serving righteously, while followers submit by cooperating willingly. In this way order and love may coexist.

As we said earlier, at different times and in different circumstances, all of us are both leaders and followers. For example, a woman may be a follower in relation to her boss at work and a leader to her child at home. When we are in positions of following, obedience should be our habitual practice.

The Greek word used for “submit” in Ephesians 5 came out of military experience. It referred to soldiers lining up in ranks under their officers. So when we are called to submit, we should get in line under the authority of our leaders. To do otherwise is to risk failure, even disaster, in the family or organization of which we are a part. For when the troops scatter, the war is lost.

If obedience is a virtue that does not come easily to you, you can learn it with God’s help. Even though Jesus was God’s Son, “He learned obedience from the things He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). Seek the Holy Spirit for the ability to eliminate the ugliness of rebellion from your life and replace it with the beauty of obedience.

Begin now to heal the sin of rebellion in your life.

Soul Prescription for Rebellion

Are you struggling with a form of rebellion against authority? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

If you have a tendency toward rebellion, chances are good that your view of God has become skewed in some way. Perhaps you see God as a tyrant, selfishly wanting everything His own way. Your reaction to Him, then, could spill over to your relationships with other authority figures. Consider these points:

• God’s commandments are fair and good.

He is the Rock; His deeds are perfect. 
Everything He does is just and fair.
He is a faithful God who does no wrong; 
how just and upright He is! —Deuteronomy 32:4

• God will hold us accountable for our rebellion.

The LORD is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. But He does not excuse the guilty. He lays the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations. —Numbers 14:18

Embark on a study of the justice and sovereignty of God as reflected in Scripture. Keep an open mind as you encounter biblical truth, asking God to change your view of Him to make it more nearly conformed to the truth.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

If you have mistaken ideas about people and the world, you will rebel against authority figures and especially the greatest Authority Figure of them all–God. Evaluate your beliefs with the following questions:

• Do you believe you are not subject to properly instituted authorities.
  Those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.—Romans 13:1
• Do you believe you can defy authority without consequences?
  You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings!” —Proverbs 5:12
• Do you believe God’s commandments and will are unreasonable?
  I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to Your commandments.—Psalm 119:45

Trace the theme of obedience through Scripture. In the process, test your beliefs about how families, businesses, churches, and society should operate. Choose to accept the principle of obedience to proper authority.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

Where does your rebellion usually manifest itself? At home? In church? At work? In society at large? Toward God? Is your problem disobedience, insubordination, lawlessness, insolence, scoffing, or disrespect? Pinpoint your sin habit. Admit it to yourself. Own it.

When you are ready, pray the following prayer in faith, trusting that God will forgive your sin and empower your obedience.

God, You have established structures of authority to make things work better for Your children. Yet I have sometimes strived not to support but to break down those structures. In particular, I am guilty of _________. It is a sin, and I am sorry for it. Please forgive me now. Cleanse me entirely of my sin of __________. Then fill me with Holy Spirit power to enable me to resist the temptation of rebellion from now on. In the name of Christ the King, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Don’t breathe too big a sigh of relief after repenting of rebellion. Attacks from the world, the flesh, and the Devil are all but inevitable now. These spiritual enemies want to draw you back into disobedience to God.

• The world system tells us, “The way to a good life is to have total freedom and do whatever you want.” Would God agree? Of course not. He says, “True freedom comes from submitting to proper authorities, especially Mine.” Overcome the world by rejecting its values and embracing God’s.
• Your flesh, or sinful nature, has always enjoyed the sense of power and autonomy that comes from rebelling against authority. It craves to get that feeling back. What you need to do is remember that your flesh is already dead; you have no need to obey its dictates. Obey the Spirit and not the flesh.
• The Devil is hatching schemes to tempt you to rebel again, doing damage to you and others in the process. Among the other pieces of spiritual armor listed in Ephesians 6, put on the helmet of salvation to protect your mind from Satan’s poisonous thoughts.

The attacks of the world, the flesh, and the Devil are formidable, but not impossible to defeat. With God acting in your life, you are more than able to repel each assault thrown at you.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

Take practical steps to avoid sliding back into rebellion and to cement an attitude of obedience in your heart.

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  In your devotional and worship times, focus on God as King over all the universe. Learning to be obedient to this Sovereign will help you be obedient in all areas of life.
• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Find helpful verses in Scripture and then commit them to memory to help you in your struggles against the temptation to rebel. One such verse for you may be the following:

The commandments of the Lord are right, 
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear, 
giving insight for living.
—Psalm 19:8

• Establish safeguards. 
  Think about the usual sources of temptation for you to rebel. Identify precautions you can take to protect yourself from those sources. Let the following examples spark your imagination:

• If you tend to be insubordinate to your boss, start calling this person “sir” or “ma’am” as a reminder of the respect you owe.
• If you are inclined to scoff at church leaders’ direction, take the lowliest position of service in the church you can find—and fulfill it without complaint.
• If you tend to be critical of government officials, send a card of thanks to your congressional representative the next time he or she does something honorable.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not rebel against authority.

• Expect victory. 
Developing a submissive spirit is not easy, but you have the Holy Spirit living in you and producing in you a spirit of obedience. Be confident and rejoice in every sign of progress.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

About to open wide, with the drill lowering toward his mouth, a man humorously pleaded with his dentist, “Careful, doc. I can stand anything but pain.” 

By nature, every one of us is inclined to take the path of least resistance. The dentist usually injects us with Novocain to keep us from feeling any pain. We do not like the injection needle because of its momentary sting. We look for easy exercise programs that are perspiration free and tireless. Students shortcut their assigned reading by reviewing study notes. 

And diets? There always seems to be a new fad for shedding weight without hunger or exercise. Liquid diets, banana diets, grapefruit diets, carbohydrate diets, protein diets.… The list goes on and on.

When it comes right down to it, we do not like hard work. Areas that we recognize are in our best interest, such as with exercise, diet, and study, are avoided even though we know they will help us.

For most of us, the irresponsibility is merely occasional, cropping up only when a particularly hard chore stands before us. Others, though, are chronically irresponsible, rarely doing more than enough to get by at work, frequently arriving late for appointments, or so disorderly that their houses are a perpetual mess. Filled with lethargy and indifference, they go through life earning a reputation for being undependable. They have grown used to accomplishing little.

Does any of this describe you? Are you troubled in your conscience about your indolence, negligence, tardiness, apathy, or passivity? Are you aware that you only fulfill your responsibilities when it is clear that there is something in it for you? Our Lord would not have you so live.

I (Bill) have been inspired since my early Christian years by something the evangelist D. L. Moody said: “The world has yet to see what God can do with a man fully consecrated to Him.” Sticking close to God, working hard to fulfill His will for me in every facet of life—that is what I have strived to do, not for my own glory, but for God’s.

To what degree I have succeeded in my objective is for God to judge. But I can testify that a life of working hard at one’s pursuits is a glorious adventure when it is done in tune with God’s Spirit. It is the way we are meant to live.

If you have a sin habit of irresponsibility, it is not too late to seek the Lord’s help for change. You can become a responsible and hardworking member of His kingdom if you will face up to your problem and seek to heal this area of your life according to His principles.

Let us begin our exploration of the sins of irresponsibility with laziness. No other sin in this family is so frequently addressed or so roundly criticized in Scripture. “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically” (Romans 12:11).

A Lesson From the Ants

The book of Proverbs is about how to live skillfully, from a godly perspective. Given the frequency with which laziness is condemned in this book of the Bible, it is easy to see that sloth can have no place in a well-lived life. What can we learn about the causes and costs of laziness from the book of Proverbs?

1. In the worst cases, laziness can reach ridiculous proportions.

Lazy people don’t even cook the game they catch, but the diligent make use of everything they find. —Proverbs 12:27

Lazy people take food in their hand but don’t even lift it to their mouth. —Proverbs 19:24

2. Laziness is on a par with other serious sins.

A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things.
—Proverbs 18:9

3. Lazy people sleep too much.

As a door swings back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed. —Proverbs 26:14

(If you were not already convinced that the Bible has a sense of humor, this image should help to change you mind.)

4. The lazy make excuses for their laziness.

The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion on the road! Yes, I’m sure there’s a lion out there!” —Proverbs 26:13

(Now are you convinced that the Bible can be funny?)

5. The lazy delude themselves.

Lazy people consider themselves smarter than seven wise counselors. —Proverbs 26:13–16

(If they are that smart, why aren’t they, instead of others, serving as trusted counselors to the mighty? If they were half as smart as they think they are, they would know better than to be so lazy.)

6. The lazy grow unhappy because they have wants but do not have the willingness to work to fulfill those wants.

Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper. —Proverbs 13:4

Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work.—Proverbs 21:25

7. The lazy are unpopular, especially among those whom they let down.

Lazy people irritate their employers, like vinegar to the teeth or smoke in the eyes.—Proverbs 

8. Laziness leads to poverty and to a menial position in society.

Lazy people are soon poor; hard workers get rich. —Proverbs 10:4

Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. —Proverbs 12:24

Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest. —Proverbs 20:4

9. The tendency of the lazy to oversleep is a key reason why they grow poor.

Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter. But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber. —Proverbs 6:6–11

Lazy people sleep soundly, but idleness leaves them hungry. —Proverbs 19:15

Too much sleep clothes them in rags.—Proverbs 23:21

10. Laziness actually makes life harder, not easier.

A lazy person’s way is blocked with briers, but the path of the upright is an open highway. —Proverbs 15:19

It seems, from all this, that the man or woman of God is expected to be diligent in all areas of life. We should be working hard at doing our jobs or studies, taking care of home chores, raising our children, serving in our churches and communities, and most importantly, cultivating our relationship with God through spiritual disciplines. One who is chronically lazy is a person with a serious sin habit.

Of course, while saying this, we do not mean to imply that taking it easy is always wrong. In fact, rest has its proper place in a well-lived life.

The Proper Place of Rest

The rhythm of labor and rest goes all the way back to the beginning, as the Creator Himself rested on the seventh day. That was the example God offered when instructing His nation Israel to set aside one day of the week as a day of rest.

Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the LORD your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the LORD made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day He rested. That is why the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy. —Exodus 20:8-11

Based on this and other observations in Scripture, we affirm the need for periodic rest. Obviously, since God made the human body, He knows we need regular times for rest and recuperation. We should obey the Bible and see that our body gets its required rest.

I (Bill) was raised on a ranch where we grew crops and raised cattle. We worked between ten and fifteen hours a day, six days a week. But as important as work was during the Depression years, we did not work on Sunday.

Today, Sabbath keeping is still vitally important to me. I instruct my associates who arrange my travel not to book a flight that will require me to travel on Sunday unless it is absolutely necessary. I ask them to help me avoid situations where I would go out to eat in restaurants on Sunday, because that would cause others to work.

So Henry and I recognize that Sabbath rest is important. But what we are talking about in this chapter are the other six days of the week. We are talking about people who are idle when they should be working. We want to say that getting too much rest is wrong.

According to Hebrews 4, we can all look forward to a time of ultimate rest in the eternal state. But that time is not yet. Paradoxically (or so it would seem), we are bid to “labour…to enter into that rest” (Hebrews 4:11 kjv). In this life we have much to do. Let us get on with it.

A Working Savior

The Bible is full of examples of men and women who labored diligently at their tasks. There was Jacob, who worked fourteen years for his two wives. There were Joseph and Daniel, two Israelites whose hard work and ability raised them to near the pinnacle of power in pagan nations. But if we are looking for a hard worker, we can find no better example than that of the carpenter turned rabbi, Jesus.

Let us consider a single day in the course of our Lord’s earthly ministry. (See Mark 1:21–39.)

One Saturday morning, Jesus attended a worship service at the synagogue in the village of Capernaum. There He gave the sermon and also expelled an evil spirit from one of the men attending the service. In the afternoon He visited the home of a pair of His disciples and healed a member of their family who was ill with a high fever. In the evening a crowd sought Him out, and “Jesus healed many people who were sick with various diseases, and he cast out many demons” (verse 34).

If we had such a day, we might want to sleep in. But did Jesus? No. Rather, “Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray” (verse 35). He would not let His outer (ministry) duties interfere with His inner (devotional) duties. His prayer time was interrupted by His disciples seeking Him out and saying, “Everyone is asking for you” (verse 37). And so the round of service to others began all over again.

Jesus expressed the divine attitude when He said on one occasion, “My Father is always working, and so am I” (John 5:17). Talk about a work ethic! This work ethic is passed down to us via the apostle Paul.

Sacred Work

Paul told his readers (including us), “You should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). A part of that has to do with labor. Like Jesus, Paul was a hard worker.

Even though the apostle had a right to expect his converts to support him financially (1 Corinthians 9:3–19), he chose to support himself with a textile trade (Acts 18:3). And because of this practice, he was in a moral position to lecture some others who were idle.

Dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don’t follow the tradition they received from us. For you know that you ought to imitate us. We were not idle when we were with you. We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so we would not be a burden to any of you. We certainly had the right to ask you to feed us, but we wanted to give you an example to follow. Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”

Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. As for the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good. —2 Thessalonians 3:6–13

“Settle down and get to work.” Is that a command you need to hear? Jesus set the example for hard work. Paul followed it. We must follow both of their examples.

Our work matters to God. It does not merely improve our economic position; it also has spiritual significance. As Henry David Thoreau said, “You cannot kill time without injury to eternity.”

But you may say, “You don’t know how dreary my job is. You don’t know the way my work around the house is overlooked by my spouse. You don’t know the difficult people I have to work with on that committee I volunteered for.”

True, we do not. But no one ever said work would always be easy or enjoyable, just that it is the right thing to do. The Bible, however, describes a change of perspective that can affect our attitude about our work. And it comes out of a context that was worse than anything any of us has to deal with.

Boss of Bosses

Slavery was widespread in the Roman world, and consequently many of the early Christians were slaves. No doubt Paul wanted all Christian slaves freed from their servitude, just as he did Onesimus.1 But since that was not possible, he instead helped them understand how they should act in their circumstances.

Were they to slack off whenever they got a chance, like most slaves, since someone else was unjustly reaping the benefits of their labor? No. Instead, Paul told the slaves, “Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people” (Ephesians 6:6–7).2

No matter how bad your job is, at least it is not slavery! But did you catch Paul’s change of perspective? It can be useful to us in our own situations. We are to do our work as if we were working for the Lord rather than for people. That enables us to be consistent, diligent, reliable—and even happy—in our work.

And do you know what is most amazing? We really are doing our work for the Lord. When we earn an honest paycheck for honest labor, when we take care of our children, when we cultivate our personal relationship with the Lord, or contribute to the life of our local church, we are doing it out of obedience to God because we know it is what He wants us to do. Our work is for Him.

It should go without saying that this means we should strive for excellence, not just to put in our time. The Lord deserves the best, and so the Bible says, “Whatever you do, do well” (Ecclesiastes 9:10). As Martin Luther King Jr. once preached, “If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say: ‘Here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.’”

Work is worship, if we will see it as such.

The Undependable

Laziness may be the most common type, but not the only type, of irresponsibility.

Some people are irresponsible with time. They are habitually late for engagements, causing other people inconvenience as a result. Or they procrastinate, putting off doing what they know they ought to do.

Others are irresponsible with material objects. They borrow things from others and either forget to return them or else let them become damaged while in their possession. Or they may take poor care of their own possessions, letting their homes and workplaces get messy or rundown. They forget that “God is not a God of disorder but of peace” and that we are to “be sure that everything is done properly and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:33, 40).

Some people seem to be negligent, careless, and inconsistent in every area of life. Should you depend on them to fulfill what they promised? You had better not. Should you trust them to help you out if you are not keeping an eye on them? Certainly not.

What’s behind all this is usually an attitude problem, whether it goes by the name of apathy, boredom, or lethargy. Theologian J. I. Packer analyzed such attitudes when he said,

The world today is full of sufferers from the wasting disease that Albert Camus focused as absurdism (“life is a bad joke”), and from the complaint that we may call Marie Antoinette’s fever, since she founded the phrase that describes it (“nothing tastes”). These disorders blight the whole of life: everything becomes at once a problem and a bore, because nothing seems worthwhile.

But Packer also suggested the response to absurdism and Marie Antoinette’s fever:

What makes life worthwhile is having a big enough objective, something that catches our imagination and lays hold of our allegiance; and this the Christian has in a way that no other person has.3

What is the “big enough objective”? It is knowing God—a task that is like penetrating ever deeper into the interior of a land that is infinite in size and so accommodates an eternity of exploration. Do you sense that your life is a part of the great story God is writing in history? Do you understand that by obeying Him in your duties and relationships you are helping to build an everlasting kingdom?

With the right perspective, your attitude can change from apathy to enthusiasm. And your sin habit of irresponsibility can be replaced by the virtue of diligence.

Get Going!

Every year in January, health clubs around the country report a surge in membership. Can you guess why? It is because of the New Year’s resolutions people make to lose weight and become more fit.

But by the end of February, attendance at the clubs is back to normal. In weeks, or even just in days, most people have broken their resolution to exercise. They are sitting at home, eating a snack or watching TV, when they could be working out for the good of their bodies.

If you have an ongoing problem with some type of irresponsibility, what we are not asking of you is a New Year’s type of resolution to do better. We are not asking you to force yourself to do better on the job, at home, or wherever you tend to be irresponsible. If we asked this kind of self-effort from you, you would likely be no more successful than the people who show up at the gym with brand-new exercise clothes in January.

What we are asking of you is that you begin praying for help and committing yourself, in the grace of God, to fulfill the responsibilities He has laid on your heart. Seek the Lord, repent of your sin, and rely on the Spirit’s empowering. Only in this way will you be able to acquire the virtue of diligence—and keep it.

When ejection seats for jet fighters were first invented, the pilot was supposed to push a button, clear the plane, and then roll out of his seat so that his parachute could deploy. The problem was that, under the intense conditions of a high-speed ejection, most pilots would hold on to their seat like it was their last link with safety. Their parachutes, consequently, could not open.

What did jet designers do in response to this unexpected problem? They invented a device that would force ejected pilots out of their seats, enabling them to correctly operate their parachutes—where their real safety came from.

If a responsibility is lying before you and you are hesitating to do anything about it, what will it take for you to get out of your seat? Get help now. Begin the healing process by embodying the virtue of diligence in every responsibility the Lord gives you. It is a privilege to serve Him with all that lies within us.

Soul Prescription for Irresponsibility

Are you struggling with being irresponsible? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

A poor conception of God may well lie behind your problem with irresponsibility. For example, if you see God as an uncaring and  detached deity, you will likely have the same attitude toward life. Are the following points ones you need to take to heart?

• God is absolutely concerned about every aspect of our lives.
  What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? —Romans 8:31

• God uses His power on our behalf.
  The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.
  —2 Chronicles 16:9

In your Bible, read a sampling of some of the key events in salvation history, such as creation, the call of Abram, the exodus, and so on. Examine these events from the perspective of God’s activity in the world. Begin to develop a picture of God as a deity who is far from apathetic or irresponsible toward His creation.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

Irresponsibility is fed by erroneous beliefs about life and one’s place in it. How might your false views have helped to make you irresponsible? Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you believe you cannot make any real changes in your world?
  I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. —Philippians 4:13
• Do you believe that the needs of others are none of your concern?
  Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good–bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? —James 2:15–16

Use a concordance to help you trace the themes of laziness and diligence through the Scriptures. Seek God’s help to correct your unbiblical views of life as they apply to irresponsibility.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

What type of irresponsibility is your downfall? Name it and disclaim it. Pray a simple prayer of repentance, and ask God to supernaturally motivate you into action.

God, I have been guilty of __________. I know it is sinful, and I am sorry for the way I have let You down. Forgive me now, I pray. Wash away the stain of this sin. Make me over into a person who uses Your power to reject irresponsibility and embrace a diligent lifestyle—one that pleases You. I ask these things in Christ’s name, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Now that you have repented, watch out for demotivating spiritual attacks. They are certain to occur.

• In the world system, responsibility is not a high value in itself. The world would tell you to only do what you need to in order to get by—everything else is a waste. But God’s values in this area are quite different. He wants diligence to be a regular part of your nature. You can overcome the world by rejecting its values and embracing God’s values instead.

• Laziness and other types of irresponsibility are pleasurable to your flesh (sinful nature)—they are easy and comfortable. The flesh will desire to get that kind of pleasure back. But you must recall that your flesh is really dead now, because of Christ. You are a new person and are to obey the Spirit and not the flesh.
• The Devil is scheming to draw you back to your old ways of irresponsibility. Put on all the armor of God to defend against him (Ephesians 6:10–18). If you will resist the Devil in God’s power, you can defeat him.

The quickest way to become irresponsible in life again is to be irresponsible about defending against spiritual attacks. Such attacks will come, and you should be ready for them. But remember that God will be empowering you and helping you be successful every time.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

The best way to avoid being tempted to lie on the couch and watch the world go by is to just do something. Take these active steps to be a more active person.

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  Begin your new, more disciplined life by maintaining your spiritual disciplines with God. He has something for you to do; ask Him what it is.
• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Find Bible verses that speak encouragement to you in your struggle against irresponsibility. Commit the verses to memory and use them when temptation arises. Here is one you may find valuable:
  He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. —Isaiah 40:29
• Establish safeguards. 
  What inspires you to be irresponsible? Do whatever it takes to block such influences from your life. These are examples of the kinds of things you can do:
• If you are lazy, make a “to do” list of the things you ought to accomplish.
• If you tend to procrastinate, create a calendar with all the deadlines for the things you are supposed to do.
• If you typically leave your bedroom a mess, set your alarm a few minutes earlier so you can straighten it up every morning.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not be irresponsible any longer.

• Expect victory. 
The Holy Spirit will motivate you into action if you will yield your heart to Him. Trust Him to make you a diligent person. Look forward to the victory He will give.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

A young friend of mine (Bill’s) found that his life had become a nightmare of addiction, promiscuous living, brushes with the law, and loneliness. One night he called out to God for help—he was not seeking salvation, just deliverance. 

In reply to his prayer, he sensed the Father’s reply: “You don’t want Me in your life; you just want Me to get you out of a jam.” 

The truth cut through this man’s heart like a knife. He prayed, “Then do whatever You have to do to bring me home.” 

The next twelve months of this man’s life were a virtual replay of the previous year. Finally, though, the reality of his situation came crashing down on him and he prayed to God, “Take my life, Lord. It is Yours’ to do with as You wish. Just please set me free.” He kept seeking God and seeking holiness, and today he is free from his sin problem. 

I tell this story to underscore how much of a struggle it can sometimes be, and how long it can sometimes take, to be healed of a habitual sin problem. The soul prescription we have written for you—adopting a correct view of God, revising your false beliefs, repenting of your sin, defending against spiritual attacks, and fleeing temptation—is able to bring you to spiritual well-being. But that does not mean the healing is easy. 

We all know the reality. We mean not to repeat a sin; we think we will not commit the sin again—and then we do it! The apostle Paul agonized, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate” (Romans 7:15). The same experience is familiar to us. We have to expect difficulty and spiritual opposition in doing what God wants. Nevertheless, the five steps represent a natural progression that can help us defeat sin.

We hope that today you are praising God for the victory He has given over your sin problem. But if it has proved more stubborn than you thought, you may need to work through the five steps more than once. That’s okay. As you repeat the process, you will be ingraining biblical truths of holiness in your spirit and drawing nearer to freedom. Over time, with God’s help, the five steps will move you toward complete freedom from your sin problem.

And of course, that is what you want: to be able to say in all honesty that you used to have a problem with a particular sin. You will repeat the five-step process if you have to, but you do not want to be on a treadmill of sinning and recovering from sin forever. Eventually you want to get off the treadmill entirely by putting your habitual sin behind you. It is possible to do this by being honest with yourself and trusting in God.

Don’t be overconfident, but don’t be discouraged either. God is capable of curing your sin sickness. Like my young friend, many have practiced the principles embodied in our five steps and can testify of the victory they have achieved through the Spirit. You, too, can be free of your troublesome sin—permanently.

Remember, the definition of victory for you includes not only being freed from your habitual sin but also having the opposing virtue established firmly in your life. You not only get rid of pride but also embrace virtue; you not only give up anger but also practice forgiveness; and so forth. As God deals with your habitual sins, the whole garden of Christian virtues blooms in your life. Most of all, you are filled with love, the mark of a Christian.

Will you permit us to pray a prayer of blessing upon you as you go out to live a life of love and holiness in the Spirit?

Heavenly Father, we pray for this dear child of Yours who loves You and wants to be holy as You are holy. Honor this child’s attempts to follow the path toward holiness laid out in Your Word, and respond with grace and power to every plea for help. Once and for all, break the hold that a habit of sin has had over this one, so that every temptation to renew the sin may be rendered ineffective. Crown this child’s virtues with a love inspired by Your own immeasurable love shown to us by Christ. And in the end, bring this child home to the place our Lord has prepared, glorified and shining with a purity that can never be tarnished again.

“Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again” (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Amen.

Just as there are physical laws that govern the physical universe, so there are spiritual laws that govern your relationship with God. 

Law 1: God loves you and created you to know Him personally. 

God’s Love 

God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.  —John 3:16 

God’s Plan 

This is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth.  —John 17:3 

What prevents us from knowing God personally?

Law 2: People are sinful and separated from God, so we cannot know Him personally or experience His love.

Human Beings Are Sinful

All have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard. —Romans 3:23

The human race was created to have fellowship with God. But because of our own stubborn self-will, we chose to go our own independent way, and fellowship with God was broken. This self-will, characterized by an attitude of active rebellion or passive indifference, is evidence of what the Bible calls sin.

Human Beings Are Separated

The wages of sin is death [spiritual separation from God].  —Romans 6:23

This diagram illustrates that God is holy and humanity is sinful. A great gulf separates the two. The arrows illustrate that people are continually trying to reach God and establish a personal relationship with Him through their own efforts, such as a good life, philosophy, or religion—but they inevitably fail.

The third principle explains the only way to bridge this gulf.

Law 3: Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for human sin. Through Him alone we can know God personally and experience God’s love.

He Died in Our Place

God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. —Romans 5:8

He Rose from the Dead

Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, as the Scriptures said. He was seen by Peter and then by the twelve apostles. After that, he was seen by more than five hundred of his followers at one time.

—1 Corinthians 15:3–6

He Is the Only Way to God

Jesus told [Thomas], “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” —John 14:6

This diagram illustrates that God has bridged the gulf that separates us from Him by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross in our place and pay the penalty for our sins.

It is not enough just to know these truths.

Law 4: We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. Then we can know God personally and experience His love.

We Must Receive Christ

To all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. —John 1:12

We Receive Christ through Faith

God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.
—Ephesians 2:8–9

When We Receive Christ, We Experience a New Birth

After dark one evening, a Jewish religious leader named Nicodemus, a Pharisee came to speak with Jesus. “Teacher,” he said, “we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are proof enough that God is with you.”

Jesus replied, “I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God.”

“What do you mean?” exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into his mother’s womb and be born again?”

Jesus replied, “The truth is, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives new life from heaven. So don’t be surprised at my statement that you must be born again. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” 
—John 3:1–8

We Receive Christ by Personal Invitation

[Christ said,] “Look! Here I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal as friends.”  —Revelation 3:20

Receiving Christ involves turning to God from self (repentance) and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive us of our sins and to make us what He wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of our will.

These two circles represent two kinds of lives.

Which circle best represents your life?

Which circle would you like to have represent your life?

You Can Receive Christ Right Now by Faith through Prayer

Prayer is talking with God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know You personally. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving me of my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? If it does, pray this prayer right now, and Christ will come into your life, as He promised.

How to Know That Christ Is in Your Life

Did you receive Christ into your life? According to His promise in Revelation 3:20, where is Christ right now in relation to you? Christ said He would come into your life and be your friend so you can know Him personally. Would He mislead you? On what authority do you know that God has answered your prayer? (The trustworthiness of God Himself and His Word.)

The Bible Promises Eternal Life to All Who Receive Christ

“This is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. So whoever has God’s Son has life; whoever does not have his Son does not have life. I write this to you who believe in the Son of God, so that you may know you have eternal life.”  —1 John 5:11–13

Thank God often that Christ is in your life and that He will never leave you (Hebrews 13:5). You can know on the basis of His promise that Christ lives in you and that you have eternal life from the very moment you invite Him in. He will not deceive you.

An important reminder…

Do Not Depend on Feelings

The promise of God’s Word, the Bible—not our feelings—is our authority. The Christian lives by faith (trust) in the trustworthiness of God Himself and His Word. This train diagram illustrates the relationship among fact (God and His Word), faith (our trust in God and His Word), and feeling (the result of our faith and obedience). (Read John 14:21.)

The train will run with or without the caboose. However, it would be useless to attempt to pull the train by the caboose. In the same way, we as Christians do not depend on feelings or emotions, but we place our faith (trust) in the trustworthiness of God and the promises of His Word.

Now That You Have Received Christ

The moment you received Christ by faith, as an act of your will, many things happened, including the following:

• Christ came into your life (Revelation 3:20; Colossians 1:27).
• Your sins were forgiven (Colossians 1:14).
• You became a child of God (John 1:12).
• You received eternal life (John 5:24).
• You began the great adventure for which God created you (John 10:10; 2 Corinthians 5:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Can you think of anything more wonderful that could happen to you than entering into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Would you like to thank God in prayer right now for what He has done for you? By thanking God, you demonstrate your faith.

Suggestions for Christian Growth

Spiritual growth results from trusting Jesus Christ. “The righteous man shall live by faith” (Galatians 3:11). A life of faith will enable you to trust God increasingly with every detail of your life and to practice the following:

G Go to God in prayer daily (John 15:7).

R Read God’s Word daily, beginning with the gospel of John (Acts 17:11).

O Obey God moment by moment (John 14:21).

W Witness for Christ by your life and words (Matthew 4:19; John 15:8).

T Trust God for every detail of your life (1 Peter 5:7).

H Holy Spirit—allow Him to control and empower your daily life and witness (Acts 1:8; Galatians 5:16–17).

Fellowship in a Good Church

God’s Word admonishes us to “not neglect our meeting together” (Hebrews 10:25). Several logs burn brightly together but put one aside on the cold hearth and the fire goes out. So it is with your relationship with other Christians. If you do not belong to a church, do not wait to be invited. Take the initiative; call the pastor of a nearby church where Christ is honored and His Word is preached. Start this week, and make plans to attend regularly.

Every day can be an exciting adventure for the Christian who knows the reality of being filled with the Holy Spirit and who lives constantly, moment by moment, under His gracious direction. 

The Bible tells us there are three kinds of people: 

1. The Natural Person: One who has not received Christ 

People who aren’t Christians can’t understand these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them because only those who have the Spirit can understand what the Spirit means. 
—1 Corinthians 2:14

2. The Spiritual Person: One who is directed and empowered by the Holy Spirit

We who have the Spirit understand these things.… We have the mind of Christ. —1 Corinthians 2:15–16

3. The Worldly (Carnal) Person: One who has received Christ but who lives in defeat because the person is trying to live the Christian life in his or her own strength

Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to mature Christians. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in the Christian life. I had to feed you with milk and not with solid food, because you couldn’t handle anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, for you are still controlled by your own sinful desires. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your own desires? You are acting like people who don’t belong to the Lord. —1 Corinthians 3:1–3

The following are four principles for living the Spirit-filled life:

1. God has provided for us an abundant and fruitful Christian life.

[Jesus said,] “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.”  —John 10:10

[Jesus said,] “I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” —John 15:5

When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law. —Galatians 5:22–23

When the Holy Spirit has come upon you, you will receive power and will tell people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. —Acts 1:8

The following are some personal traits of the spiritual person that result from trusting God:

The degree to which these traits are manifested in the life depends on (1) the extent to which the Christian trusts the Lord with every detail of life and (2) his or her maturity in Christ. One who is only beginning to understand the ministry of the Holy Spirit should not be discouraged if he or she is not as fruitful as more mature Christians who have known and experienced this truth for a longer period.

Why is it that most Christians are not experiencing the abundant life?

2. Worldly Christians cannot experience the abundant and fruitful Christian life.

Worldly (carnal) people trust in their own efforts to live the Christian life:

• They are either uninformed about, or have forgotten, God’s love, forgiveness, and power (Acts 1:8; Romans 5:8–10; Hebrews 10:1–25; 2 Peter 1:9; 1 John 1; 2:1–3).
• They have an up-and-down spiritual experience.
• They cannot understand themselves—they want to do what is right but cannot.
• They fail to draw on the power of the Holy Spirit to live the Christian life (Romans 7:15–24; 8:7; 1 Corinthians 3:1–3; Galatians 5:16–18).

Some or all of the following traits may characterize the worldly person—the Christian who does not fully trust God:

 

(Those who profess to be Christians but who continue to practice sin should realize that they may not be Christians at all, according to Ephesians 5:5 and 1 John 2:3; 3:6–9.)

The third truth gives us the only solution to this problem.

3. Jesus promised the abundant and fruitful life as the result of being filled (directed and empowered) by the Holy Spirit.

The Spirit-filled life is the Christ-directed life by which Christ lives His life in and through us in the power of the Holy Spirit (John 15).

• One becomes a Christian through the ministry of the Holy Spirit, according to John 3:1–8. From the moment of spiritual birth, the Christian is indwelt by the Holy Spirit at all times (John 1:12; 14:16–17; Colossians 2:9–10). (Though all Christians are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, not all Christians are filled—that is, directed and empowered—by the Holy Spirit on an ongoing basis.)
• The Holy Spirit is the source of the overflowing life (John 7:37–39).
• The Holy Spirit came to glorify Christ (John 16:1–15). When one is filled with the Holy Spirit, he or she is a true disciple of Christ.
• In His last command before His ascension, Christ promised the power of the Holy Spirit to enable us to be witnesses for Him (Acts 1:1–9).

How, then, can one be filled with the Holy Spirit?

4. We are filled (directed and empowered) by the Holy Spirit by faith. Then we can experience the abundant and fruitful life that Christ promised.

You can appropriate the filling of the Holy Spirit right now if you

• Sincerely desire to be directed and empowered by the Holy Spirit (Matthew 5:6; John 7:37–39).
• Confess your sins. By faith, thank God that He has forgiven all of your sins—past, present, and future—because Christ died for you (Colossians 2:13–15; Hebrews 10:1–17; 1 John 1; 2:1–3).
• Present every area of your life to God (Romans 12:1–2).
• By faith claim the fullness of the Holy Spirit, according to

His command: Be filled with the Spirit. 

Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. —Ephesians 5:18

His promise: He will always answer when we pray according to His will.

We can be confident that he will listen to us whenever we ask him for anything in line with his will. And if we know he is listening when we make our requests, we can be sure that he will give us what we ask for. —1 John 5:14–15

Faith can be expressed through prayer.

How to Pray in Faith to Be Filled with the Holy Spirit

We are filled with the Holy Spirit by faith alone. However, true prayer is one way of expressing our faith. The following is a suggested prayer:

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I now thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? If so, bow in prayer and trust God to fill you with the Holy Spirit right now.

How to Walk in the Spirit

Faith (trust in God and His promises) is the only way a Christian can live the Spirit-directed life. As you continue to trust Christ moment by moment,

• Your life will demonstrate more and more of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23) and will be more and more conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:18).
• Your prayer life and study of God’s Word will become more meaningful.
• You will experience His power in witnessing (Acts 1:8).
• You will be prepared for spiritual conflict against the world (1 John 2:15–17), against the flesh (Galatians 5:16–17), and against Satan (1 Peter 5:7–9; Ephesians 6:10–13).
• You will experience His power to resist temptation and sin (Romans 6:1–16; 1 Corinthians 10:13; Ephesians 1:19–23; Philippians 4:13; 2 Timothy 1:7).

If you become aware of an area of your life (an attitude or an action) that is displeasing to the Lord, even though you are walking with Him and sincerely desiring to serve Him, simply thank God that He has forgiven your sins—past, present, and future—on the basis of Christ’s death on the cross. Claim His love and forgiveness by faith and continue to have fellowship with Him. 

If you retake the throne of your life through sin—a definite act of disobedience— breathe spiritually. Spiritual breathing (exhaling the impure and inhaling the pure) is an exercise in faith that enables you to experience God’s love and forgiveness. 

1. Exhale: Confess your sin—agree with God concerning your sin and thank Him for His forgiveness of it, according to 1 John 1:9 and Hebrews 10:1–25. Confession involves repentance—a change in attitude and action. 

2. Inhale: Surrender the control of your life to Christ, and receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit by faith. Trust that He now directs and empowers you, according to the command of Ephesians 5:18 and the promise of 1 John 5:14–15.

Chapter 1 

1. See Genesis 3:12–13. 

2. In this book we use “cure” and “healing” interchangeably. Using either word, we are referring to a process that does not lead to sinless perfection (we all struggle with temptation) but most definitely can put an end to a sin habit. 

3. The list went through some modification over time, but it ended up with these seven elements. The list was not meant to identify the worst sins but rather the basic sins from which others arise—similar to our concept of sin families. 

Chapter 2 

1. In this book, when we refer to “cooperating” with God, we mean acknowledging that He provides the answers in His Word, the Bible, and then submitting to those commands. 

2. John Ortberg, “True (and False) Transformation,” Leadership (summer 2002): 104. 

3. The biblical words for the Spirit, ruach and pneuma, both mean “wind” or “breath.” 

4. We recognize that God’s kindness does not mean that He never allows suffering to enter the lives of His children. See Bill Bright, Why Do Christians Suffer? (Orlando, FL: New Life, 2000). 

5. Kay Arthur, As Silver Refined: Learning to Embrace Life’s Disappointments (Colorado Springs: WaterBrook, 1997), 3.

6. For more on the five prayers of repentance, see Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Heart of the Problem (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1997), 73–83; Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Word for the Wise: Making Scripture the Heart of Your Counseling Ministry (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1999), 102–106; Kerry L. Skinner, The Joy of Repentance (Mobile, AL: KLS LifeChange Ministries, 2006).

Chapter 3

1. A. W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy: The Attributes of God: Their Meaning in the Christian Life (Lincoln, NE: Back to the Bible, 1961), 6–7.

2. Barna Research Group, press release, “American Faith Is Diverse, as Shown among Five Faith-Based Segments,” January 29, 2002, http://www.barna.org/, accessed September 2003. An atheist is one who believes there is no God. An agnostic is one who is undecided about the existence of God.

3. Bill Bright, God: Discover His Character (Orlando, FL: New Life, 1999). See also the related website at http://www.discovergod.org.

Chapter 4

1. See also John 14:16 and John 15:26.

2. See the King James Version, Acts 17:11.

Chapter 5

1. For more on the five prayers of repentance, see Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Heart of the Problem (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1997), 73–83; Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Word for the Wise: Making Scripture the Heart of Your Counseling Ministry (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1999), 102–106; Kerry L. Skinner, The Joy of Repentance (Mobile, AL: KLS LifeChange Ministries, 2006).

2. As you are reading about the five prayers, notice how the first three correspond to exhaling guilt, while the remaining two correspond to inhaling grace. (See appendix C: “Spiritual Breathing.”)

3. We are not sure what the “thorn” was, though it may have been a persistent temptation.

Chapter 6

1. Martin Luther, Works of Martin Luther, 6 vols. (Philadelphia: Holman, 1915−1932), 3:279.

2. That misunderstanding has led to the unfortunate belief by many that the body is bad in itself.

3. In Romans 8, Paul was circling back to the same point he had made in Romans 6. We have died to sin.

Chapter 7

1. See chapters in part 2 for verses related to specific sins.

2. Quoted in Famous Sports Quotes, http://ktornado.tripod.com/khs/id13.html, accessed September 2003.

3. For more about supernatural thinking, see Bill Bright, The Joy of Supernatural Thinking (Colorado Springs: Victor, 2005).

Chapter 9

1. The pride of the king of Babylon (Isaiah 14:3–23) and the king of Tyre (Ezek. 28:1–19) may reflect Satan’s overweening pride and desire to supplant God.

2. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Macmillan, 1952), 112–13.

3. Frederica Mathewes-Green, “Pride: The Anti-Self-Esteem,” Beliefnet (http://www.beliefnet.com/story/110/story_11056_1.html), accessed November 2003.

4. See also 1 Timothy 2:9.

5. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 95.

6. Esther de Waal, Living with Contradiction: Reflections on the Rule of St. Benedict (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989), 96.

7. Benjamin Franklin, The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin and Selections from His Other Writings, Modern Library (New York: Random House, 2001), 101.

Chapter 10

1. Evelyn Underhill, The Spiritual Life (New York: Harper & Row, n.d.), 103–104.

2. If you want to look at a few more Bible verses on courage, try Psalms 27:14; 46:1–2; 118:6; Proverbs 29:25; Isaiah 35:3–4; 51:12–13; John 14:27; 16:33; and 1 Corinthians 16:13.

3. Neil T. Anderson and Rich Miller, Freedom from Fear: Overcoming Worry and Anxiety (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 1999), 203.

4. Joyce Meyer, Be Anxious for Nothing: The Art of Casting Your Cares and Resting in God (Tulsa, OK: Harrison House, 1998), 27.

5. Anderson and Miller, Freedom from Fear, 100.

6. John Edmund Haggai, How to Win over Worry: Positive Steps to Anxiety-Free Living (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2001), 46–47.

Chapter 11

1. Adapted from Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Heart of the Problem (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1997), 123–125.

2. Paul was quoting Psalm 4:4.

3. Adapted from Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Heart of the Problem (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1997), 140–145.

4. See also Proverbs 12:16 and 14:29.

5. Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC (New York: Harper & Row, 1973), 2.

6. Adapted from Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Heart of the Problem (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1997), 149.

7. Paul was quoting Deuteronomy 32:35.

8. Stephen Leon Alligood, “American Profile,” June 14, 2003, CBS News, www.cbsnews.com, accessed November 2003.

9. Even when someone is angry at an impersonal event, such as a hurricane that swept away his house, he is really angry at a person—namely, God.

10. Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips, Anger Is a Choice (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002), 122.

Chapter 12

1. Adapted from David Slagle, “Doctor Calls Man’s Overeating Sin,” Preaching Today, http://www.preachingtoday.com, accessed October 2003.

2. American Obesity Association, http://www.obesity.org/, accessed September 2003.

3. Cornelius Plantinga Jr., in The Reformed Journal (November 1988), as quoted in Christianity Today 33, no. 2.

4. Quoted in Chuck Green, “Sound Salvation,” The Reader’s Guide to Arts and Entertainment, February 28, 2003, 6.

5. Other proverbs underscore the way drunkenness can lead to poverty and prevent the acquisition of wisdom. (See Prov. 20:1; 21:17; 23:20–21.)

6. See also Romans 13:13 and Galatians 5:21.

7. Quoted in Steve Beard, “Johnny Cash Approaches Judgment Day with Faith,” Relevant, http://www.relevantmagazine.com, accessed August 2003.

8. William Law, A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life, chapter 7, Christian Classics Ethereal Library, http://www.ccel.org/l/law/serious_call/cache/serious_call.html3, accessed December 2003.

Chapter 13

1. Billy Graham, Just As I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997), 697.

2. For more on the tenth commandment, see Bill Bright, Written by the Hand of God: Experience God’s Love and Blessing through the Liberating Power of His Ten Commandments (Orlando, FL: New Life, 2001), chap. 15.

3. For more on the eighth commandment, see Bright, Written by the Hand of God, chap. 13.

4. Thomas Watson, The Art of Divine Contentment: An Exposition of Philippians 4:11 (1653; reprint, Glasgow: Free Presbyterian Publications, 1885), chap. 6. For Hannah’s story, see 1 Samuel 1—2.

Chapter 14

1. Frederick Buechner, Godric (New York: Harper & Row, 1980), 153.

2. The language used here has been popularized in Harry W. Schaumburg, False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction, rev. ed. (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1997).

3. Quoted in Karen S. Peterson, “Cohabiting Can Make Marriage an Iffy Proposition,” USA Today, July 8, 2002, D1.

4. Larry L. Bumpass, James A. Sweet, and A. Cherlin, “The Role of Cohabitation in Declining Rates of Marriage,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 53 (1991): 913–927.

5. Quoted in Will Greer, “A. C. Green: Man Enough to Wait,” Breakaway, http://www.family.org/teenguys/breakmag/features/a0009929.html, accessed November 2003.

6. For more on the seventh commandment, see Bill Bright, Written by the Hand of God: Experience God’s Love and Blessing through the Liberating Power of His Ten Commandments (Orlando, FL: New Life, 2001), chap. 12.

7. Joseph Nicolosi and Linda Ames Nicolosi, A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2002), 141.

8. Kim Alexis, “Supermodel Kim Alexis: Kim Shares Her Thoughts on Self-Respect, Sex, Life, Abortion & Marriage,” Love Matters, http://www.lovematters.com/kimalexis.htm, accessed November 2003.

9. Wendy Shalit, “Modesty Revisited,” Imprimis, http://www.hillsdale.edu/imprimis/2001/march/article_1.asp, accessed November 2003. Shalit is the author of A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue (New York: Free Press, 1999).

10. See also 1 Peter 3:3–5.

11. John Piper, “A Passion for Purity vs. Passive Prayers,” November 10, 1999, Desiring God Ministries, http://www.desiringgod.org/library/fresh_words/1999/111099.html, accessed November 2003.

12. Sandra, “Child Pornography: What Happens When They Grow Up,” National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, http://www.nationalcoalition.org/sandra.phtml, accessed November 2003. Used by permission.

13. See Psalm 101:3 niv.

14. William Mattox, in a magazine article, summarized how “a 1940s Stanford University study, a 1970s Redbook magazine survey of 100,000 women and at least one other study from the early 1990s all found higher levels of sexual satisfaction among women who attend religious services.” Mattox speculated on the reasons as including (1) a lack of “sexual baggage” from promiscuity before marriage; (2) the confidence that comes from a mutual commitment to marriage; (3) an absence of sexual anxiety because the couples do not fear sexually transmitted diseases and other ill effects of out-of-wedlock intercourse; and (4) an ability to enjoy the spiritual dimension of sexuality. William R. Mattox Jr., “Revenge of the Church Ladies,” Plain Truth, July–August 2001, http://www.ptm.org/01PT/JulAug/revenge.htm, accessed November 2003.

15. “Coming out of Pedophilia: Jeff’s Story,” Harvest USA, http://www.harvestusa.org/articles/jeffstory.htm, accessed November 2003. Used by permission.

Chapter 15

1. Selena Roberts, “Olympics: The Pivotal Meeting. French Judge’s Early Tears Indicated Controversy to Come,” New York Times, February 17, 2002, sect. 8, p. 1.

2. For more on the ninth commandment and lying in general, see Bill Bright, Written by the Hand of God: Experience God’s Love and Blessing through the Liberating Power of His Ten Commandments (Orlando, FL: New Life, 2001), chap. 14.

3. Paul was quoting Zechariah 8:16.

4. Adapted from Henry R. Brandt and Kerry L. Skinner, The Word for the Wise (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1999), 192–193.

5. For God’s commandments against fraud, see Leviticus 19:35–36 and Deuteronomy 25:13–16. Proverbs 20:23 says, “The Lord despises double standards; he is not pleased by dishonest scales.”

6. Quoted in Victor Lee, “Wrenching the Rules,” Men of Integrity, May–June 2002, May 20 devotional.

Chapter 16

1. Ramona Cramer Tucker, “Loose Lips,” Christian Reader, March–April 2002, 38–39. Michelle tried to get in touch with Beth to apologize but was never able to.

Chapter 17

1. For a similar statement by Paul, see Colossians 3:20.

2. For more on the fifth commandment, see Bill Bright, Written by the Hand of God: Experience God’s Love and Blessing through the Liberating Power of His Ten Commandments (Orlando, FL: New Life, 2001), chap. 10.

3. For more about a wife’s submission to her husband, see 1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 3:18; and 1 Peter 3:1–6.

4. The word for “submit” is hupotassō, meaning to make oneself subject to another. The word for “obey” is hupakouō, meaning to listen and to obey.

5. See online at http://www.despair.com. The products are called “Demotivators.”

6. For more about slaves’ duty to their masters, see Colossians 3:22–25; 1 Timothy 6:1–2; Titus 2:9–10; and 1 Peter 2:18–20.

7. For a description of the death that came to the “murmuring” Hebrews, see Numbers 14.

8. For more on obedience to civil authorities, see Titus 3:1 and 2 Peter 2:13–14, 17.

Chapter 18

1. See the book of Philemon.

2. For the whole context, see Ephesians 6:5–8. For similar discussions in Paul’s letters, see also Colossians 3:22–25; 1 Timothy 6:1–2; and Titus 2:9–10. The importance of slaves doing their work well was a consistent teaching of the apostle.

3. J. I. Packer, Knowing God (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 1993), 34, 106.