Apicontent

Fuss and feverishness, anxiety, intensity, intolerance, instability, pessimism and wobble, and every kind of hurry and worry—these, even on the highest levels,” declared spiritual writer Evelyn Underhill, “are signs of the self-made and self-acting soul; the spiritual parvenu.”1

A parvenu is someone who has been raised to a new position but has not yet acquired the manner of it. Becoming a child of God certainly qualifies as being given a high position. Are you acting like a parvenu child of God (whether or not you really are new to the faith) because you cannot warm the cold region of fear in your soul?

Certain Christians circle back again and again to the same place of fear or anxiety, whether it relates to their health, their family, their finances, or whatever else may be troubling them. Some fear may be natural and acceptable. But living in fear because you refuse to move on is another matter: it is sin. A person can have a sinful fear habit just as surely as an immorality habit or a drunkenness habit.

The problem, to use Underhill’s terminology, is our “self-made and self-acting soul.” If we are not trusting in God’s care for us, we naturally react to our circumstances by trying to figure out how we can meet our own needs. It is a kind of homegrown providence, and it will never do. We know inside that we will never be capable of anticipating all the situations we may face. If we attempt to cut our way out of all the problems that may entangle us, we get stuck in a round of anxiety and dread.

We (Bill and Henry) have had our own times of fear and worry, and so we are empathetic to others who are fearful. However, we are not content merely to make people feel better by helping them cope with their worry. We would rather help them get past the anxiety or the fear altogether. And that means dealing with the sin that lies at the root. Where circumstances might naturally inspire worry, we want Christ’s followers to renew their trust in God and move on in confidence of His care.

If you have a fear habit, letting go of your fear and trusting God completely might seem like an impossibility. So let us assure you with Scripture that it is possible to substitute faith for the anxiety and the worry you are presently feeling.

FEAR AND GOD

Susie outwardly seemed to be a well-poised young wife and mother with everything under control. She was active in her church and attended other Christian gatherings during the week. But secretly she was filled with fears from which psychologists and psychiatrists were unable to free her.

“What can I do?” she asked me (Bill) through her tears. “I have everything to live for and no real reason to be afraid, but I am consumed with worry and dread. I anticipate all kinds of evil things happening to me, my husband, and my children.” “Do you believe that God in heaven has the power to remove your fears, Susie?” I asked.

“Yes, I believe that,” she replied.

To reinforce her belief, I read Psalm 34:4 to her.

I prayed to the LORD, and He answered me,
He freed me from all my fears.

Then I asked her if she wanted to join with me in a prayer of faith to ask God to deliver her from her fears as He had delivered the psalmist. She agreed. So together we prayed. Though she experienced no immediate deliverance, with the passing of days, God set Susie free from fear.

Can you relate to Susie? What are your fears about? Be assured that others have had them before you.

Do you fear other people? So did ten of the twelve spies whom Moses sent into the Promised Land to scout out the opposition. This was their report to Moses: “The people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified…. We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!” (Numbers 13:28, 31).

Are you afraid of something bad coming at you from what appears a cold and impersonal nature? The disciples felt the same way when a storm came up as they were sailing in a boat. They woke Jesus and cried out, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” (Matthew 8:25).

The timid spies and the frightened disciples both received criticism from God for their faithlessness. God complained to Moses, “How long will these people treat Me with contempt? Will they never believe Me, even after all the miraculous signs I have done among them?” (Numbers 14:11). Jesus said to His disciples, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” (Matthew 8:26).

Disbelief of God is a sin, and non-Christians are not the only ones who have a problem with this sin. Though we are saved, we Christians, too, may doubt God’s promises to care for us. Such disbelief lies at the root of our ungodly instances of fear.

It is a truism that most of what we fear never comes to pass. And even when bad things do happen (certainly people do face some serious problems sometimes), God is still in control. This is when we need the faith to believe that God is in control. There is no cause to give in to fear.

Well, that’s not quite right. There is one kind of fear we should cultivate: the fear of God. Jesus warned, “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28). This sort of fear is a compound of awe and reverence.

Oswald Chambers said, “The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else.” If you have too many of the wrong kinds of fear, maybe you need to get more of the right kind: fear of God. This godly fear comes from recognizing who God really is and deciding to trust in Him.

COURAGE TO WALK ON WATER

The Bible is full of encouragement for the fearful. These are just a few examples:

• The Lord said to Abram in a vision, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great” Genesis 15:1).
• “Don’t be afraid,” he said, “for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!” (Daniel 10:19).
• The angel who came to Mary to preview the birth of the Lord said, “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “foryou have found favor with God!” (Luke 1:30).2

Does it seem reasonable to trust God because of who He is? Or does it seem crazy? George MacDonald wrote, “This is a wise, sane Christian faith: that a man commit himself, his life, and his hopes to God; that God undertakes the special protection of that man; that therefore that man ought not to be afraid of anything.”

The apostle Peter had a chance to exhibit what MacDonald assures us is a “sane” faith. The disciples were in a boat, struggling against a headwind to bring their boat to shore when the following happened:

About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw Him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!” But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” He said. “Take courage. I am here!”

Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

“Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink.“Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt Me?” When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. —Matthew 14:25–32

Peter represents any follower of Christ who has a problem with fear. We know we should trust God, and we even make efforts at acting courageously, but, then our faith falters, and we fear again. Are you ready to put one foot in front of the other and walk across the water to Jesus?

Neil Anderson wrote, “Fear is like a mirage in the desert. It seems so real until you move toward it, then it disappears into thin air. But as long as we back away from fear, it will haunt us and grow in size like a giant.”3 Whatever your fear may be, move toward it—and toward Christ—in faith.

“God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self–discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NASB). We need not live with fear, nor must we give in to worry or anxiety.

AN ANXIOUS HEART

You might not describe your problem as fear. You might think worry or anxiety describes it better. Sometimes you might not even be sure what you are anxious about. Or, you might have feelings of apprehension that do not rise to the level of fear, though they are troublesome enough. Persistent worry or anxiety is another condition that Christians need not and should not live with.

Meredith tended to worry about what other people thought of her. Her anxiety was particularly intense at work as she constantly wondered how to present herself at meetings or second-guessed what she had said in a conversation. The problem got so intense that Meredith turned to counseling.

After doing a little probing, the counselor was surprised to learn that in fact Meredith was doing well at work and was one of the most popular employees in the offi ce. She was in particular known for her tactfulness. So the truth was that Meredith had no good reason for her worries about her reputation. She was anxious for no good reason, and it stole from the peace God wanted her to have.

C. S. Lewis wrote, “Anxiety is not only a pain which we must ask God to assuage but also a weakness we must ask him to pardon—for he’s told us to take no care for the morrow.” Lewis was referring to a famous passage on worry from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. Let’s take a look at it.

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life— whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the fi eld and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fi re tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. —Matthew 6:25–34

Bible teacher Joyce Meyer says this passage means “we need to concentrate our full attention on today and stop being so intense and wrought up.”

Calm down and lighten up! Laugh more and worry less. Stop ruining today worrying about yesterday or tomorrow—neither of which we can do anything about. We need to stop wasting our precious “now,” because it will never come again.4

If you have a worry problem, we recommend you read Matthew 6:25–34 every day for a month and make it a springboard for prayer.

Life is a day-by-day affair. We do not know all that will happen in the future—but we do not need to. God will be with us in the future just as surely as He is with us in the present. Our part is to develop our trust in Him, leaving fear and anxiety behind in the process.

A SINGLE-MINDED APPROACH TO ENDING ANXIETY

The New Testament word for anxiety means “doubled-minded.” That’s the problem with people who have an anxiety habit. With part of their mind, they are looking to God; but with another part of their mind, they are fretting about what might happen to them.

God desires for them to have their mind wholly fi xed on Him, for then they could know peace. As the prophet Isaiah confessed to God,

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You! —Isaiah 26:3

But how do we become single-minded, fi xing our thoughts entirely on God? How do we get rid of our anxiety? Not by trying through an act of will to make our worries go away. Rather, by handing them over to God. One psalmist wrote,

Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles. —Psalm 55:22

Late in life, the apostle Peter (evidently having learned his lesson when his feet slipped into the waves!) echoed the psalmist in saying, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7).

We give our cares to God through the miracle of prayer. That is why Paul advised, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.”

Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. —Philippians 4:6–7

Instead of trying the useless self-talk of worry, assuring ourselves that things will go wrong, we need to be talking to God about our concerns.

TRUST IN GOD

An old scenario goes this way: fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there. In truth, the answer to worry and fear in all their forms is faith in God.

George Müller, director of a network of orphanages in nineteenth century England, could have wasted much energy worrying about how he would provide for the two thousand orphaned children under his care. But instead he operated on the faith principle. He refused a salary and trusted that his material needs and those of his orphanages would be met entirely by seeking God in prayer. And do you know what? That is just what happened. Müller once said, “The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith; and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.”

Similarly, Neil Anderson defined courage as “making the choice to walk by faith and do what’s right even in the face of fear.” He added, “Being alive and free in Christ doesn’t mean that we will never feel fear. It means that such fears no longer have any power over us if we exercise our faith in God.”5

The Scriptures teach us that “perfect love expels all fear” (1 John 4:18). We acquire such love “as we live in God” (verse 17). This means exercising faith and growing in faith over time. In this way, we can even cease to be “slaves to the fear of dying” (Hebrews 2:15). Imagine that—no fear of death!

Faith is not the risk it seems. Our faith has a solid basis because the One whom we trust is all-powerful and cares about us. We can be free from anxiety and full of joy because, as Philippians 4:5 (NIV) says, “The Lord is near.”

John Edmund Haggai, author of How to Win over Worry, commented on that verse.

Do you want more faith that the Lord is near to you for help? If so, you are not alone in that desire. A father who sought Jesus’ healing power for his son said to Jesus, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). The disciples likewise one time appealed to Jesus, “Show us how to increase our faith” (Luke 17:5).

The apostle John wrote, “We are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for” (1 John 5:14–15). Surely having faith is in line with God’s will. So if we ask Him for it, He will give it. We’ve got His Word on that.

With the Spirit’s supernatural enabling, you can be a person of greater faith and you can shed your fear habit for good. Let the healing in this area of your life begin now.

SOUL PRESCRIPTION FOR FEAR

Are you struggling with fear, worry, or a related sin habit? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

If you are worried, fearful, or despairing, chances are that you are failing to see just how capable and willing God is to keep all His promises to you. Consider these truths:

• God is faithful; He will always be there for you.
  The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. —Lamentations 3:22–23
• God is all-powerful, and He uses that power for your good.
  He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. —Isaiah 40:29

Make sure your ideas about God our protector match what He says about Himself in the Bible. Why worry about anything when the Creator of the universe is watching over you?

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

How do ideas about people or life influence your worry-related habit? Your ideas may have gotten off track in a number of different ways, but think about these possibilities:

• Do you believe that you must pull yourself up by your own bootstraps?
  It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. —2 Corinthians 3:5
• Do you think of yourself as a born loser in the game of life?
  I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. —Philippians 4:13
• Do you believe that your circumstances are beyond God’s power to help?
  Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. —Philippians 4:6

Scan the Bible for its messages about how unnecessary worry really is. Make a conscious decision to identify and abandon any concepts about yourself, others, or life in general that contribute to your worry. Believe God, and trust in His power to meet your every need.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

What type of worry-related habit do you have? Is it fear? Is it anxiety? Are you discouraged or nervous or impatient? Make sure you are clear about your specific problem.

If you are prepared to leave your sin behind, pray a prayer of confession and commitment. You may use the prayer below, or you may pray in your own words.

God, I have a problem in the area of __________, and I know it is sin. I know also that my failure to trust You has grieved You. I am sorry for that. Please forgive me for my sin. Cleanse me of it completely now—wash it away as if it had never existed. Give me now the ability to live my life in Your strength and not in mine. Lord, I believe; help me in my unbelief. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

The last place the enemies of your soul want to see you is at rest in the Lord’s grace. You have put your trust in God; now you must keep it there.

• Watch out for the false values that the world system entices you to adopt. The world will say you have to take care of yourself, and this will naturally lead to worry. In God’s value system, trust in Him takes the place of self-effort.
• Watch out for the way your fl esh (that is, your sinful nature)attempts to have you return to that paradoxical feeling of control that comes from worrying about the unknown. When the feeling comes upon you, tell the
  flesh, “You’re already dead! I don’t have to do what you want.” Rely on the Spirit’s help to remain strong in your faith.
• Watch out for Satan’s schemes to persuade you to worry about your circumstances again. You can resist him with the “shield of faith” that God gives as a part of our spiritual armor (see Ephesians 6:10–18).

Do not expect the temptation to be anxious, fearful, or discouraged to disappear any time soon. Remember that God is bigger than the world, the fl esh, and the Devil. With Him on your side, you are a winner!

Step 5: Flee Temptation

In practical terms, certain situations can “give you an excuse” to worry. So take active steps to prevent returning to your bad habits of the past.

• Focus on your relationship with God.
  In your personal devotional time, focus on God as your provider and sanctuary. Use the power of praise and thankfulness to bolster your faith in Him.
• Latch on to God’s promises.
  Many passages in Scripture speak of God’s care for us. Search out ones that give you the most comfort and confidence, then commit them to memory. Here is one to memorize:
  For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.—2 Timothy 1:7

• Establish safeguards.
  Take practical steps to cut off common sources of temptation.
  These should be strategies tailor-made for you, but here are some examples to get you started thinking:

• If you begin to feel discouraged, rehearse in your mind the victories that God has given you in the past.
• If you are feeling fearful about tasks you need to accomplish, break it down into small steps and take them one at a time.
• If you are prone to nervousness, learn to meditate on God.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable for not worrying nor fearing so much.

• Expect victory.
  God has promised to always take care of you, and He will. Believe that He will enable you to beat the worry habit and build a stronger faith.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

Some years ago, I (Henry) traveled to Zimbabwe for a conference and spoke about forgiveness. Afterward, a couple asked to speak with me in private. They were from Uganda, and they told me their story. 

During the brutal reign of Uganda’s Idi Amin, the couple received a note telling them that their twenty-six-year-old son had been kidnapped and was being held for ransom. Before the couple had met with Ugandan authorities how best they should respond, they received another note informing them that their son was dead. 

The father tried to locate his son’s body. In doing this, he was seized by soldiers and taken to the same prison cell where his son had been held. There he was whipped with leather strips before being loaded onto a pickup truck and dropped off at a street corner. As a parting shot, the soldiers shouted that if he ever tried to locate his son again, he would be killed.

Two years had passed. I met the couple in Zimbabwe. They wanted to know if I believed they were wrong to keep alive their hatred for the soldiers who had treated their family so cruelly. Might it not even be disloyal to the memory of their son if they were to forgive his murderers?

I have had my own struggles with anger and hatred from time to time, but never with a cause as reasonable as this hurting couple. I did not know what to say to them. “God, help me,” I prayed.

We sat in silence for a while. It seemed to me that God was telling me to gently urge this couple to let go of their hostility. So I suggested they needed to pray for a change of heart.

The man said in a trembling voice, “I am ready.”

The wife added, “So am I.”

The three of us knelt on the floor. I have never heard such moving prayers. We stood up afterward and embraced each other with tears of joy streaming down our cheeks.

The next day the man stood up at the conference and told the entire gathering that he and his wife were leaving a heavy burden behind.1

A heavy burden indeed is the anger that many of us carry. Like the Ugandan couple, we may have good reasons for our emotion, but we are weighed down by it all the same.

Anger is a strong feeling of dislike, displeasure, or antagonism. It is connected to a host of other negative feelings and behaviors, including rage, hatred, bitterness, vengefulness, and violence. In this chapter we will look at how to lay down such burdens. Before that, though, we must learn how to separate sinful anger from the rarer, but still possible, forms of acceptable anger.

The Danger in Anger

Just as there is such a thing as justifiable pride, so also there is such a thing as righteous indignation. When Jesus chased the merchants out of the temple (see John 2:13–17), He was angry at them for defiling God’s house and hindering Gentile worship. He had good reasons to have godly anger. Likewise, in some cases, there may be nothing wrong with our anger.

When we see unrighteousness or injustice, getting upset is a reasonable response. But at other times our anger is improper, such as when we misinterpret what is going on or are too quick to take offense or let our anger grow out of proportion to the cause. Our anger is also unrighteous if we hang on to it for too long.

Anger is inherently dangerous. That’s why the apostle Paul warned, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26–27).2 In other words, even if your anger falls into the category of righteous indignation, get past it quickly before it has a chance to harm you. Anger cherished becomes like rot or gangrene. It opens the door to hatred and other sins.

Archibald Hart wrote, “It is not the anger (as feeling) that is wrong, but…anger has the potential for leading you into sin.” If we choose to be angry at the wrong time or for the wrong reason, we are guilty before God. And if we are angry much of the time, we are dealing with a habitual sin—one that has a potential to harm not only those around us but also ourselves.

Rage is one term used to describe an excessive and uncontrolled anger.

Lashing Out

I (Henry) arrived at my counseling session half an hour late, and I was nervous about making my apologies. The man I was making them to was Jay Carty, former professional basketball player with the Los Angeles Lakers—six feet, seven inches tall, and all of it muscle. With him was his wife, Mary.

My nervousness was due not so much to Jay’s size as to what I had learned from a temperament test Jay had taken. It showed that Jay was an extremely dominant, very hostile, and strongly expressive person. As I had expected, he glared at me for showing up late.

I ignored the look and got the session started by asking, “What’s the problem?”

Jay said, “I’m having trouble making a job change and thought you could help us sort out the decision-making process.”

“Well,” I said, “it’s easy to see what the problem is. There’s sin in your life.”

An uncomfortable pause followed. Finally, with an impatience that was impossible to disguise, Jay said, “Henry, perhaps you could elaborate just a little bit.”

Over the next few minutes, I pointed out the web of sin that his temperament test had revealed. I told him his anger was like a pot on boil. I told him that everyone irritated him and that when they failed him, he would blow up at them.

“You hotshot!” Jay shouted. “You don’t care about me, or you wouldn’t have forgotten about the appointment. Then you pull this grandstand move by telling me there’s sin in my life, pat me on the rear, and send me on my way so I can tell people I talked to the great Dr. Henry Brandt. Well, thank you, but I’m not impressed. I think you’re a fraud.”

He got up and motioned for his wife to follow him out the door.

I said, “No, no, don’t go. Right now, Jay, how do you feel down in the pit of your stomach? Is it the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control?”

“That answer’s easy,” Jay snorted. “None of those qualities typifies the way I feel, at least not right now.”

I asked him pointedly, “Do you feel angry most of the time?”

It was so quiet that you could hear the three of us breathing. “Yes.”

Jay sat back down and poured out his story. He was someone with great gifts and a powerful personality who had been fixing most of his problems by just trying harder and expecting everyone else to follow his lead.

At last Jay asked, “Henry, how bad am I? What am I going to do? I’ve spent a lifetime learning to live this way.”3

Jay Carty is an example of someone whose anger built up over time and produced a lifestyle of rage. Others, though, have what’s called a “short fuse.” Their anger flares out suddenly and then subsides just as quickly. Is that type of rage any better?

A woman once came to evangelist Billy Sunday and tried to rationalize her angry outbursts. “There’s nothing wrong with losing my temper,” she said. “I blow up and then it’s all over.”

“So does a shotgun,” Sunday replied, “and look at the damage it leaves behind!”

Wise Solomon said, “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).4

Whether rage is of the slow or the fast variety, it is so common that you might almost think that people want to be angry. And maybe some do—to their harm. Frederick Buechner said in Wishful Thinking:

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.5

Anger produces bodily changes that cannot be ignored. Here are just a few of the symptoms doctors and counselors have noticed in persons with rage:

• increased pulse rate
• faster heartbeat
• high blood pressure
• tight throat
• dry mouth
• hair standing on end
• enlarged pupils
• change in skin color
• tense muscles
• shaking or twitching
• insomnia
• stmach pains or nausea
• nagging body pains
• loss of appetite or difficulty in controlling food craving

In the saddest cases, such symptoms have contributed to the untimely deaths of many rage-filled men and women.

In Anger Is a Choice, one of the coauthors tells about visiting a seventy-two-year-old minister who was on a tirade about the medical treatment he had been receiving. The author said to the minister, “Paul, if you don’t stop this, you’re going to kill yourself!” Within two days, Paul was dead of a heart attack.

Beyond the physical effects, rage is also spiritually destructive. Jesus declared in no uncertain terms, “If you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment!” (Matthew 5:22). Furthermore, He said that anger is akin to murder. If you are a person with a rage problem, regardless of the legitimacy of its cause, you are in the wrong.

Suppressing rage—turning “outrage” into “inrage,” so to speak—is not the answer. You need to confess your sin. You need to work through the process of soul healing that appears at the end of this chapter so that your body and spirit may be cleansed of this serious condition.

God Himself is “slow to anger” (Exodus 34:6). With His help, we can be too.

He can also help to free us from the related attitudes of hatred and bitterness.

The Wolf of Hatred

A little boy came to his grandfather in tears and declared that he hated a schoolmate. The grandfather said he understood the feeling, then told this story: “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended.

“But the other wolf…Ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great.

“It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The grandfather replied, “The one I feed.”

The wolf of hatred is powerful. Unrighteous anger feeds the hatred and allows it to grow more powerful still, until the wolf stretches out its fangs and claws to tear at those around. Such a beast lies within us when we hate. If we are to become holy people, we must starve this vicious predator.

Bitterness is like hatred in that it results from the harm others have done us, but it stays closer to home. While hatred is a feeling of intense hostility toward another person, bitterness is a rancor we nurse in our hearts to keep our anger alive. Hatred is the hostile emissary that we mentally send out to our enemy; bitterness is a fire that smolders deep inside. Both are sinful.

There are some who think hatred is reasonable and just, even admirable. Jesus acknowledged this attitude when He said, “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy” (Matthew 5:43). In fact, Leviticus 19:18 does say to love your neighbor. The religious teachers called Pharisees interpreted this verse to mean it was okay to hate your enemies.

Jesus, though, had a surprising take on the matter. “But I say, love your enemies!” (Matthew 5:44). And what He had in mind by “love” was not some weak “Oh, all right, I love you” attitude but a love demonstrated in action. The examples He gave of love for enemies included the following commands: “Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you” (Luke 6:27–28).

Bitterness likewise is out of bounds for Christians. One early Christian leader wrote, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:14–15 nkjv).

Bitterness, then, is not only like a smoldering fire; it is also like a root that puts out weedy growth in our spirit if given half a chance. We cannot just prune it back. We must pull it out, roots and all.

Like its cousin hate, bitterness will eat away at us. If we have an ongoing problem with either hate or bitterness, we need to take aggressive action. If we do not, one error we can be led into is revenge.

Getting Mad and Getting Even

No one can say for certain how the infamous Hatfield-McCoy feud got started. One thing for sure is that around the time of the Civil War the Confederate-sympathizing Hatfields of West Virginia conceived a hatred for the Union-sympathizing McCoys across the border in Kentucky, and the McCoys returned the favor.

Provocation quickly led to escalation. In 1878 Randolph McCoy accused one of the Hatfields of stealing a pig. The case went to court and the Hatfields won. Later a Hatfield boy got a McCoy girl pregnant and was rewarded with a severe beating by her relatives. Then in 1882 Ellison Hatfield was killed, starting a run of murders that would reach eleven over the next decade.

How bitter is revenge! How destructive!

We may not aim a rifle at anyone from behind a tree, but in a myriad of ways we get back at people who have hurt us. When others wound us by their words or actions, Revenge whispers in our ears, “Give him the cold shoulder!” or “Say something equally harsh in return!” or “Spread a rumor that will wreck her reputation!” Sometimes people will wait for years, nursing their resentment, until they are in a position to harm the one they hate.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Is any of it acceptable behavior in the eyes of God? The apostle Peter wrote, “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you” (1 Peter 3:9). His colleague Paul similarly instructed readers,

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. —Romans 12:197

God reserves judgment for Himself. Only He knows all the facts and is capable of rendering justice fairly and comprehensively. True, He gives properly instituted human leadership the authority to handle matters of earthly justice as best they can. But He does not give us as individuals the right to punish those who have hurt us.

Revenge is reputed to be sweet, and in fact for a while it may replace our feelings of hurt with a sense of triumph. But revenge swiftly turns sour because inside we know our revenge has lowered us to the level of our antagonist and has laid destruction upon destruction. God is wise in reserving for Himself the prerogative of avenging wrongs.

Besides trusting Him to handle matters of justice, what should we do?

Instead of helping a relationship head downward in a spiral of attack and counterattack, we are to do our best at reversing the direction the relationship is going in. Peter said that rather than retaliating against others, we should “pay them back with a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). Paul said that instead of avenging ourselves, we should “conquer evil by doing good” (Romans 12:21).

Such seemingly illogical responses really make a great deal of sense. They are not likely to make matters worse, and they might make the situation a great deal better. When Abraham Lincoln was chided for not seeking to destroy his enemies, he replied, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” Paying back evil with good puts a stop to the cycle of revenge.

But in real life—in our lives—is this possible? Can vengeful people learn to lay down their arms and embrace their enemies?

Certainly it is not easy or enjoyable—nobody is saying that. But possible? Yes. Just ask the Hatfields and the McCoys.

Both clans are still in existence today. And although violence between them ended with the 1800s, the feud continued in the form of legal disputes over timber rights and cemetery plots for another century. But shortly after the conclusion of the final court case between them, the two families joined together to put a formal end to the feud.

On June 14, 2003, representatives of the two families signed a proclamation that read, “We do hereby and formally declare an official end to all hostilities, implied, inferred, and real, between the families, now and forevermore. We ask by God’s grace and love that we be forever remembered as those that bound together the hearts of two families to form a family of freedom in America.”8

God bless the Hatfields and the McCoys! And God bless you if you will keep from returning evil for evil and will return good instead.

Revenge’s counterpart, violence, is another evil practice we must avoid.

Violence: The Shortcut That Goes Nowhere

If asked, a park ranger in British Columbia will be glad to show off the interlocked antlers of two bull moose. Apparently the moose began fighting, their antlers got stuck together, and they could not pull free. Both moose died because of their fighting. Sometimes people are a lot like animals.

While in some of us anger goes underground as hatred or bitterness, in others it comes right out in the open as violence. Men especially (though not exclusively) will on occasion resort to physical coercion in an attempt to solve their problems. Violence seems like such a direct way to react to a situation—not to mention a quick release for pent-up feelings of anger!

The headlines about violence that grab our attention are ones like these:

• Student opens fire at school, kills four
• Movie star accused of drowning wife
• Factory worker kills boss, guard, self

What we do not see (or at least pay as much attention to) are news stories about the less extraordinary kind of violence that goes on in homes and public places every day. What would you think if you saw these headlines?

• Husband beats wife, third time this month
• Friends drink at bar, fight in parking lot, regret it later
• Man who attempted rape says women have slighted him

This kind of “everyday” violence may be too common to get much notice, but its contribution to the sum of human misery is hard to overestimate.

The consequences of violence go beyond the obvious results of physical pain and wounding. Even if no one is permanently injured by an act of violence, the scars on the inside may take a long time to heal—if ever. And one violent person may be producing another. Few things are as self-perpetuating as violence.

The violent person is also degraded by his own violence. He knows he has sunk to an animalistic level. If he has any conscience left, he is ashamed of causing another human being pain. He has to worry about legal ramifications. He is caught in the consequences of his actions—just like the bull moose.

In part for such reasons, violence is like vengeance in that it is something individuals are not permitted to do. The state has the right to pursue justice through criminal punishment and war, but individuals should never use violence (unless necessary for self-defense). Certainly we should never instigate violence just because we are angry.

The apostle Paul said, “Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy” (Romans 13:13). In other words, fighting is just as bad as other types of sin like drunkenness and adultery. Aggressive violence cannot be justified.

When Peter drew a sword to protect Jesus from the men who had come to arrest Him, Jesus ordered the hot-tempered disciple, “Put your sword back into its sheath” (John 8:11). He would say something like that to any of us who would try to solve our problems with violence. Keep your hands to yourself. Put down the knife. Lock up the gun.

If you are habitually violent, work through the soul-healing process. And if you think you may be on the verge of hurting another person, get professional help—now.

The Forgiveness Factor

What do you do if you are filled with rage or hatred or bitterness? What do you do if you are vengeful or violent? By God’s grace, you get rid of the sin of anger and replace it with the virtue of forgiveness.

Anger is an emotion that is set off when someone else has done something we do not like. We may be quite right in disliking what the other person has said or done. Sometimes, in fact, the offense is monstrous, as in the case of the Ugandan couple whose son was murdered. But because the offense has a personal origin, the only way to free ourselves of the destructive emotion we feel and move ahead in life is to forgive the person who did wrong.9

Of course, when we have been hurt, something inside us screams “No!” to the idea of forgiveness. It seems unjust. And do you know what? It is. When we forgive, we pay a price for a wrong that someone else has done. What does that remind you of?

Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins on the cross. It was not just or fair, but He willingly did it so that mercy would triumph over justice. We follow in His footsteps when we forgive one who has committed an offense against us.

Another reason we might resist forgiving is that we conceive of unforgiveness as a type of revenge. We believe we are hurting the one who has hurt us if we withhold our forgiveness. That is foolish thinking. We are only hurting ourselves by holding on to a grudge. In the words of writer Anne Lamott, “Not forgiving people is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”

For these reasons, forgiveness does not necessarily mean suddenly having a warm feeling toward the one who has hurt us. 

“Forgiveness is not a feeling, first and foremost. It is a choice that goes beyond feelings; it is an activity of the will.”10 We choose to forgive and we pray that the loving feelings will follow. This is loving by faith.

What about “forgiving and forgetting”? Can we forget the offense against us once we have forgiven the offender? Of course not. We will still recall the hurt—but we need not relive the hurt. As David Augsburger said, “The hornet of memory may fly again, but forgiveness has drawn out the sting.”

And what about reconciliation? A restored relationship should be our goal whenever it is a possibility. When the one who has offended us is a fellow Christian, we can follow the guidelines of Matthew 18 to initiate a process of confrontation that starts privately and adds on pressure and publicity if needed. When the offender is a non-Christian, we can still seek restoration of our relationship by humbly approaching the other and discussing what happened.

But reconciliation requires two. The other person may be unwilling to admit the wrong he or she has done and seek to restore the relationship. Or maybe you are unable to reconcile with the other person. You may not know how to get in touch with the offender anymore, or perhaps that person has died. And if the other person still presents a threat to you, as in the case of an abuser, it might not even be wise to reestablish contact. In such cases, remember that you can still forgive the person. Unlike reconciliation, forgiveness requires only one.

Hard as it is, forgiveness is a blessing to us because it frees us from anger and all the ill effects that anger brings upon us. That is why God both commands and enables forgiveness. “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13).

The New Testament consistently links our forgiveness of others to God’s forgiveness of us. Jesus once told a parable in which a servant was forgiven for a vast sum of money the servant owed a king. The servant turned around and shook down a fellow servant for neglecting to repay a much smaller sum. (See Matthew 18:21–35.) Like the unforgiving servant, our sins against God are immeasurably greater than any offense someone else has committed against us. So let us forgive as we have been forgiven.

As often as someone angers you, just so often can you forgive. That’s the way to beat the anger habit.

Soul Prescription for Anger

Are you struggling with anger or an anger-related sin habit? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

Almost certainly, a distorted perception of God’s nature lies at the core of your problem with anger. We do not know exactly what that is for you. But quite possibly you are overemphasizing the wrath of God while underemphasizing His faithful love. Consider these key truths about God’s nature.

• God offers forgiveness, reconciliation, and eternity instead of condemnation.

The LORD passed in front of Moses, calling out, “Yahweh! The LORD! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.” —Exodus 34:6

• God is merciful and expects us to extend His mercy to others.

There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you.—James 2:13

Search the Scriptures for everything you can find about God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness. Allow what you find out about Him begin to change the way you think about God and about yourself as God’s child.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

You may be an angry person because you have developed some mistaken ideas about yourself and other people as well as how to get along in life. Do you believe that? Well, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you believe you are justified in your anger?

Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. —Proverbs 19:11

• Do you believe that your anger is uncontrollable?

Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. —Ephesians 4:26

• Do you believe that anger is a useful tool in life?

People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness. —Proverbs 14:29

Along with those suggested here, there are many more false beliefs that can keep you a slave to anger. Seek clues in Scripture for ways that your ideas have gone off track, contributing to your anger problem. Ask the Holy Spirit to use biblical truth to change your conscious and unconscious beliefs so that you are living in truth and not falsehood. He will do it!

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

Are you ready to admit that you are angry and to give it up? In what particular ways (rage, violence, revenge, and so on) do you express your anger? Identify your anger and “own” it.

When you are ready, ask God to forgive you for your anger. You can pray the following prayer (or another like it in your own words). Insert the word for your particular anger problem in the blank spaces.

God, I am an angry person, especially in the area of __________. And I know that is sinful. I am sorry for how the flames of my anger have singed others, and especially I am sorry for how I have grieved You. Please forgive me for my anger now. Cleanse me completely from the sin of __________ so that it is gone from my life. And furthermore, give me the power never to return to my angry ways again.

I want to be like Jesus, merciful and kind. In His name I pray, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

The enemies of your soul—the world, the flesh, and the Devil—do not like it when you repent of your anger. They will stir up your anger again if you let them. Get ready to defend yourself against these enemies.

• In the world’s value system, anger is considered good. The world would tell us that anger confers power. But you can overcome this false system if you hold fast to God’s values, which tell us that those who control their anger have the real spiritual power.
• Anger can feel good. Our flesh, or sinful nature, urges us to get that good feeling back by letting ourselves be filled with rage again. So when you feel that kind of desire rising within you, remind yourself that the flesh is dead and you do not have to satisfy its desires. Turn to the Spirit to help you want what God wants for you: a forgiving spirit.

• Satan will use your sense of personal rights and your selfishness to goad you into angry outbursts and attitudes. Put on the armor of God to resist the Devil’s schemes. Above all, put on the “shoes of peace” (Ephesians 6:15), which enable you to move around in harmony with all your Christian brothers and sisters.

Are you ready to be in control of your anger, instead of its being in control of you? The battle has begun and will not be over soon. So the time is now to stand strong in the strength of Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to supernaturally equip you to defeat the enemies of your soul.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

Many of us find that our anger has certain triggers. Walking through a minefield, you have a much better chance of survival if you know where the danger is and learn to avoid it.

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  Cultivate your relationship with God through the spiritual disciplines of prayer and meditation. Learn to hear God’s voice so that His whisper of peace will sound louder in your ears than the cry of temptation to lash out in anger.

• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Search Scripture for verses and stories that emphasize the danger of anger and the value of forgiveness. Memorize Scriptures that can help you in times of temptation. One relevant scriptural passage is the parable of the unforgiving servant. Read it in Matthew 18:21–35.

• Establish safeguards.
  Take specific steps to avoid whatever triggers your anger. Consider these examples:

• If you want to get revenge against somebody, do something good for that person in secret.
• If you have a tongue that is quick with a harsh retort, learn to quickly ask the Holy Spirit for help before saying anything in a potentially explosive situation.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not get angry.

• Expect victory. 
As a believer, you are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. He will help you put a clamp on your anger before it can do any damage. Believe that you can go from being an angry person to being a person of forgiveness.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

In my (Henry’s) early years, one of my biggest problems was with drinking. Though I grew up in a Christian home where drinking was frowned upon, I rebelled in my teenage years and started drinking in bars, at parties, and in the homes of my friends. 

Early signs of the danger in this lifestyle did little good. One of my drinking buddies burned to death in a fiery collision; another committed suicide. I was fired from a job for coming back from lunch drunk. But still I continued drinking. 

Then one afternoon I staggered home drunk and dropped off to sleep on the couch. Soon a traveling salesman came to the door, shook me awake, and read me a tract about receiving Christ. I  prayed with the salesman, asking God to forgive and save me, then fell back asleep.

I went to a bar as usual that evening, but somehow the lifestyle that had seemed so exciting before now seemed no fun at all. My drunken prayer had made a real difference! My life began to change and I left drinking behind completely, though not without some struggles.

As a result of my own experience, I am able to understand those who overindulge in alcohol or other substances and experiences. Both Bill and I have counseled hundreds of persons who have struggled with overindulgence of different sorts. We know the pain it can cause and the difficulty people have in beating these habits.

Of course, everyone overindulges occasionally. For example, just about every American overindulges with food on Thanksgiving. But what we are talking about here is an ongoing overindulgence that interferes with healthy and holy living.

Sinful overindulgence can take many forms. Let us first deal with what is perhaps the most common form: gluttony.

The Lure of the Refrigerator

A pastor had a heart attack and was clinging to life in the ICU of a local church-affiliated hospital. The pastor’s adult son came to visit him in the hospital and was praying by his side when a doctor came in. They discussed the father’s condition, and the doctor informed the son that being overweight had put a strain on his father’s heart.

Then the doctor pointed out that the son seemed to be heading down the same road. And it was true. Like his father, the son had a sedentary lifestyle and enjoyed large quantities of convenience foods. His belly was already well on its way to matching his father’s girth.

“Yeah, I’ve got an eating problem,” admitted the son.

“No, you’ve got a sin problem,” countered the doctor.1

Overeating is the more common term these days, but gluttony is the time-honored label for the sin of putting more food in your mouth than your body needs for its health and strength. A glutton is the type of person who tells himself or herself, “Eat, drink, and be merry!” (Luke 12:19). In the worst cases, you could say of gluttons that “their god is their stomach” (Philippians 3:19 niv).

For some gluttons, the appeal of overeating lies in the enjoyment that the taste buds get as the food makes its way to the stomach. For others, the sense of fullness that comes after eating may compensate for emotional absences in their lives. Yet while one might understand and sympathize with some causes for overindulgence with food, we must say unequivocally that gluttony is a sin.

Like any sin, gluttony trails in its wake a host of evil effects. Those who overeat often feel ashamed and guilty. They spend more of their money and time on food than it deserves. As they gain weight, they experience discomfort, reduced physical abilities, and embarrassment over how others view them. And like the pastor who had the heart attack, they may experience significant health problems. Each year, obesity in America accounts for health-care costs of approximately $100 billion as well as contributes to at least three hundred thousand premature deaths.2

Gluttony can also damage one’s spiritual health. Philosopher Cornelius Plantinga Jr. pointed out, “Full stomachs and jaded palates take the edge from our hunger and thirst for righteousness. They spoil the appetite for God.”3 The person whose body is overfed may have a starving soul.

The same sort of spiritual deprivation may be at work in those with a drinking problem.

Bliss in a Bottle?

For years, Jack Bivans was one of the voices on the popular radio theater program Unshackled! Produced by the Pacific Garden Mission in Chicago, Unshackled! portrayed the ways that real individuals were freed from alcoholism and other bondages through the power of Christ. What few listeners knew was that Bivans was in shackles himself.

Bivans began drinking while serving in World War II. Over the years, his drinking got worse and contributed to the dissolution of two marriages. “My family life began a downward spiral and my emotional world started crumbling around me,” he recalled.

It all came to a head in 1975. Bivans said, “The lives of the people whose true stories I had portrayed on Unshackled! began to hit home. One day, following a taping, I was driving home alone and felt the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit within me. I changed. I was drinking, and sometimes too much, and so I gave it up.”4

Of all forms of overindulgence, none is more thoroughly covered in Scripture than drunkenness. Perhaps most notably, Solomon composed a vivid description of the effects of drinking upon the drunkard:

Who has anguish? Who has sorrow? Who is always fighting? Who is always complaining? Who has unnecessary bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new drinks. Don’t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is, how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down. For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake; it stings like a viper. You will see hallucinations, and you will say crazy things. You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. And you will say, “They hit me, but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t even know it when they beat me up. When will I wake up so I can look for another drink?” —Proverbs 23:29–355

The Romans liked to indulge in drinking parties where matters could get way out of hand. The apostle Peter, therefore, wrote to new believers, “You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols” (1 Peter 4:3, emphasis added).6 The message for Christians who have been heavy drinkers is this: Enough! It is time to put away your habit of drunkenness.

Paul made God’s viewpoint on drunkenness as clear as it could be: “Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life.” Then Paul went on to say, “Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). Rather than being under the influence of alcohol, we should be under the influence of God’s Spirit.

Drugs: When Escape Becomes a Trap

Unlike alcohol, drugs are not specifically mentioned in Scripture. However, the New Testament word usually translated “witchcraft” or “sorcery” (“participation in demonic activities” in Galatians 5:20) is pharmakeia, from which we get our word pharmaceuticals. It reflects the fact that mood-altering substances were often used in occult rituals in ancient times.

It is a safe bet that we can take the biblical injunctions against drunkenness as applying to drug abuse as well. We can therefore paraphrase Ephesians 5:18 as saying, “Don’t take drugs, because that will ruin your life.” The very fact that drug use is illegal puts it out of bounds for Christians, since we are instructed to “submit to governing authorities” (Romans 13:1).

Drug-taking is one sin that many presume Christians will not get involved in. Not so! Singer Johnny Cash is an example. Not long before his death in 2003, Cash told Relevant magazine,

I used drugs to escape, and they worked pretty well when I was younger. But they devastated me physically and emotionally—and spiritually. That last one hurt so much: to put myself in such a low state that I couldn’t communicate with God. There’s no lonelier place to be. I was separated from God, and I wasn’t even trying to call on him. I knew that there was no line of communication. But he came back. And I came back.7

As in Cash’s case, escape seems to be one motivation of people who take drugs. They think they can leave the difficulty or tedium of their lives behind with the vehicle of drugs. Unfortunately, it does not get them anywhere; they wind up in worse trouble than they started with.

Meanwhile, many drugs have a powerfully addicting effect on those who take them. Drug users still have a choice (that’s where the sinfulness comes in), but as the addiction changes their brain chemistry and physiological responses, the choice not to take drugs becomes harder and harder. Many find that their temporary “escape” becomes a trap they cannot seem to work their way out of.

Actor Robert Downey Jr. said, “I’m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. If I use them, I break out in handcuffs.” We can laugh at the quip, but the fact is that drug users, while they may not be literally imprisoned as Downey has been, are bound emotionally and spiritually.

Shopping as Recreation

Some have said that America has been infected with “affluenza.” Materialism is a widespread illness, and for many it shows up in the way they buy far more than they really need. They shop just for the fun of it, and for the kick they get from owning new stuff, not because they really need these belongings. A term has been coined to describe these people: shopaholics.

While the term is new, the phenomenon it describes is not. Long ago, King Solomon went through a phase in which he deliberately tested what he could gain by spending, spending, spending.

I…tried to find meaning by building huge homes for myself and by planting beautiful vineyards. I made gardens and parks, filling them with all kinds of fruit trees. I built reservoirs to collect the water to irrigate my many flourishing groves. I bought slaves, both men and women, and others were born into my household. I also owned large herds and flocks, more than any of the kings who had lived in Jerusalem before me. I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful singers, both men and women, and had many beautiful concubines. I had everything a man could desire! —Ecclesiastes 2:4–8

What was Solomon’s conclusion after his spending spree? “This is all so meaningless!” (verse 15)

We do not mean to imply that all buying is bad. God loves to bless His children. It is a good thing when we can meet our own needs and even indulge our moderate and reasonable desires for pleasure. The problem lies in excessive accumulation of “stuff” out of a desire to meet some inner need.

We will let you decide, through seeking the mind of Christ in prayer, what “excessive” means for you. But one thing we know: possessions do not confer meaning upon a person’s life. Jesus said plainly, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own” (Luke 12:15).

Neither do possessions provide real security, though some people may think they do. In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught about this also:

Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. —Matthew 6:19–21

As if to illustrate His words in the Sermon on the Mount, at another time Jesus told a story about a farmer who had a string of good harvests. He began to base a hedonistic plan on his wealth. “I’ll sit back and say to myself, My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!” (Luke 12:19).

But Jesus said this man was a fool, because that very day was marked down in God’s calendar as the day when he would be called to account for his life. The lesson Jesus drew from this story is simple: “A person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.” (See Luke 12:16–21.)

Media Mad

Our media options are proliferating like never before. Not only do we have television, radio, and movies, but now we also have computerized gaming systems, the Internet, DVDs, MP3s, handheld computers, and more. Some people spend untold hours with these media, living vicariously through televised sports or reality TV shows or video games, and there are a couple of problems with this.

First, excessive use of media can have a mind-numbing effect. A person who spends hours every week playing Xbox games has some fun and develops a certain type of skill, but is he really becoming a wiser, deeper, more godly person? It is not likely.

Second, too much time with entertainment distracts from other activities that are equally or more important. For example, someone who has what is dubbed a “Net addiction” may spend so much time online that she neglects her schoolwork, job, or family.

Perhaps we are in something like the position of the wealthy people of Judah in the prophet Amos’s time. Amos warned,

How terrible for you who sprawl on ivory beds and lounge on your couches, eating the meat of tender lambs from the flock and of choice calves fattened in the stall. You sing trivial songs to the sound of the harp and fancy yourselves to be great musicians like David. You drink wine by the bowlful and perfume yourselves with fragrant lotions. You care nothing about the ruin of your nation. Therefore, you will be the first to be led away as captives. —Amos 6:4–7 emphasis added

Clearly the upper classes of Judah were overindulging in a number of types of luxury, including some we have already covered. As part of their error, they were indulging excessively in the entertainment of music when they should have been attending to more important matters.

Will the consequences for us be “terrible” (as Amos said) if we keep spending our lives with our eyes glued to video screens and with earphones stuffed in our ears? It would be better not to find out.

Appetites out of Control

Along with more obvious forms of overindulgence, there are many other ways people may let their appetites get out of control like a stallion that leaps a fence. A mother might spend far more time working out at the gym than she needs to keep in shape, neglecting her family responsibilities in the process. A young might love the adrenaline rush from thrill-seeking activities, such as extreme skiing and class-5 river rafting, to the point that he risks his life. And what about caffeine? Or cigarettes?

As diverse as are the moral weak points of the human race, so diverse are the forms overindulgence may take. Yet all forms of overindulgence have something in common: they are ways of feeding an appetite. “All sins are attempts to fill voids,” claimed Simone Weil. That is certainly true of the sins of overindulgence.

People have a type of hunger, real or perceived, and then try to feed it in a way that is inappropriate. Maybe they are greedy for sensation. Or maybe they have an emotional hurt and are trying to mask it with a high or the yumminess of a dessert or a “fun fix.” Either way, they need to understand their real problem and address it in a healthy way. Overindulgence will only make matters worse.

Other motivators may also contribute to an overindulgence problem. For example, someone may abuse drugs as a way of rebelling against his strict upbringing. Rebellion, anger, disobedience—these are just a few of the sins that may complicate our tendencies toward self-indulgence.

“But wait,” you might say. “Is overindulgence really our fault? Might the real issue be illness, not sin?” Let’s consider that.

The Medical Model

One day I (Bill) received a call from the wife of an alcoholic. The woman said her husband was a wonderful person when he was sober but a demon when he was drinking. Why did he keep drinking?

Another day I talked with a young man who was on drugs. He was deathly afraid that he would be caught, end up in jail, and get a police record. Still, something about drugs wooed him to go on another trip, to smoke another joint.

These people have a compulsion to continue in their particular form of overindulgence—no doubt about it. Many others have the same problem. But how are we to understand such a compulsion?

The preferred approach at present is to use a medical model. In other words, people who cannot seem to stop drinking or taking drugs are deemed to have a disease, called an addiction. A genetic cause is at the root of the addiction, and the addiction needs to be treated with methods commonly used for other physical and emotional diseases.

There is some value in the medical model. Along with such factors as personality or temperament, a person’s genes may give him or her some predisposition to addictive behavior. And sometimes medical treatments, such as methadone treatments for heroin addicts, have proved helpful. But even given such advantages, the medical model is woefully incomplete.

By labeling overindulgent behaviors a “disease,” the medical model effectively cuts off the spiritual and ethical aspects of the human being involved. A person’s behavior may be an addiction, but it is also sin. We have a responsibility—and a real potential—to do what is right, even if we have allowed a certain substance to gain a measure of control over us. Ultimately overindulgence is treatable only by the soul surgery of repentance.

That’s what a young man named Franklin found out to his great surprise.

A Liar Who Encountered the Truth

Franklin had it all—all the problems you could imagine, that is. He liked to drink too much, take illegal drugs, and sleep around with both men and women. He was also insecure, unhappy, and riddled with guilt. He knew his life was a time bomb waiting to go off, but he had no idea of how to talk to God about his problems. Finally he went to a counselor.

“Doc, I need to quit drinking and doing drugs. But I can’t stop.” Franklin started to sob.

“Well,” the counselor replied, “I’m glad you are here. But I already have my doubts that you are ready to change. You’ve said two things to me, and one of them is not true. We are not going to get anywhere with an attitude like that.”

“Lying? What are you talking about? I need help, not word games!”

“You said something irrational, Franklin. You said you couldn’t stop drinking and using drugs. Are you drinking and using drugs right now, or are you talking to me?”

Franklin said, “Of course I’m not taking drugs now! I’m talking to a worthless counselor who accuses me of lying the moment I sit down!”

“Then,” the counselor replied, “you admit that you can control when you abuse yourself and when you do not?”

Franklin began to think about his level of control. He did not drink until after 5:30 p.m. He did not do illegal drugs except on certain days. He had a favorite drink (gin and tonic) and would not touch domestic beer. He actually began to relax as he described his favorite blend of drugs and alcohol and how, if he timed it right, he could party all night, get an hour’s sleep on the bus going to work, and take an “upper” with his first cup of coffee and work all day without a break.

This took up most of Franklin’s first session. Before he left, the counselor asked two questions: “Franklin, why do you enjoy talking about the greatest enemies you have—the very things that will kill you if you don’t stop using them to alter your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? Why are you so angry at God that you would keep lashing out at Him in flagrant disobedience?”

Franklin did not have an answer to those questions. But he had started thinking in a new way.

Choose Your Master

Would Franklin submit to the control of God, or would he give up control to his appetites? All people who overindulge face the same question.

Not being controlled is not an option. We were made to worship and to serve another outside ourselves. And so we will always serve someone or something, and many choose to make their appetite their god, whether that appetite is for Jim Beam whiskey or lines of white powder or a third plateful at Country Buffet. The only worthy master is God. He is the one we were made to serve.

Of course, there is such a thing as Christian freedom. Some would justify indulging their appetites on the basis of that freedom. 

But the apostle Paul preempted such an argument: “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

No, we must not become a slave to anything. Not drink. Not drugs. Not food. Not anything. We must serve God alone. As we do so, He will enable us to make better choices in what we will consume. He will heal us spiritually, enabling us to partake of substances or experiences in moderation (if limited consumption is safe) or keep a distance from whatever substance or experience threatens to destroy us.

Everything in Moderation

Have you had enough of too much? Are you willing to admit that your overindulgence is a sin? If so, we hope you will take action now by emptying your life of the sin and by filling the empty space with something far better. The virtue with which we should replace a sin of overindulgence is moderation.

“Do you like honey?” asked Solomon. “Don’t eat too much, or it will make you sick!” (Proverbs 25:16). This call to moderation is appropriate to many but not all kinds of overindulgence.

Moderation is the proper response when overindulgence often involves substances or experiences that are good in themselves. In itself, food is good; we need it to survive and it provides enjoyment. In themselves, a house and the things we put in it are good; they help us to live our lives in safety and satisfaction. In itself, entertainment is good; it gives us both relaxation and mental stimulation. What’s bad is when we use these good things to the point of excess. Defining what is “excess” is a challenging, personal struggle.

This perversion of the good for evil is a pattern that has long been understood. Eighteenth-century devotional writer William Law said,

Our souls may receive an infinite hurt, and be rendered incapable of all virtue, merely by the use of innocent and lawful things.…

What is more lawful than eating and drinking? And yet what more destructive of all virtue, what more fruitful of all vice, than sensuality and indulgence?…

Now it is for want of religious exactness in the use of these innocent and lawful things, that religion cannot get possession of our hearts. And it is in the right and prudent management of ourselves, as to these things, that all the art of holy living chiefly consists.8

In other cases, however, overindulgence involves substances or experiences that are wrong, period. Shooting heroin, for example, is always illegal and always destructive. The response in a situation like this should be what we might call an extreme form of moderation: abstinence. Here, any indulgence is overindulgence.

Also, there are the gray areas. We can all agree that it is wrong to get drunk, since the Bible is so clear on that point, but should Christians drink only in moderation or should they not drink at all? Both the authors of this book have chosen not to drink at all, so as to avoid any risk associated with drunkenness or dependence on alcohol. We would advise anyone else who has had a problem with overindulgence to likewise avoid the risk of drunkenness by avoiding alcohol altogether. For the rest, we say again: moderation. Through prayer, you can seek God’s help to know whether moderation or abstinence is right for you in a given instance—and what “moderation” would mean in your case.

Truly, moderation is what God wants to see in our lives. As we overindulge in our favorite ways, God grieves because He knows we are not filling ourselves with what we really need, and that is more of Himself. We can never get too much of God.

Soul Prescription for Overindulgence

Are you struggling with some form of overindulgence? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

If you are overindulgent with yourself, it is important that you understand God better as the loving Father. He has promised you that He will always provide for your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. You do not need to stuff yourself with whatever you can get your hands on.

• God is all-knowing. He designed you and knows what would make you the happiest.
  I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. —Jeremiah 29:11

• God is love. He will always give you only what is good for you.
  Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. —James 1:17

• God is faithful. He will always provide for your needs.
  The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. —Psalm 84:11

Do not let a warped view of God justify your overindulgent lifestyle any longer. Undertake a search of Scripture for passages that depict God as your provider who satisfies you.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

God has called you to a life of holiness and moderate living. When you choose a different course for life, it proves that you really do not believe God will hold you accountable for your actions.

• Do you believe you have the right to party excessively?
  You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols. —1 Peter 4:3

• Do you believe you have no choice in controlling your appetites?
  Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.—Romans 8:12

• Do you believe you are not responsible for your sinful overindulgence?
  We are each responsible for our own conduct. —Galatians 6:5

Try as you may, you just cannot lay the responsibility for your excessive self-indulgence on the shoulders of anyone other than yourself. Learn from Scripture what is really true about self-indulgent behavior versus self-control.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

You must make the decision to turn away from your lifestyle of overindulgence and to disconnect your heart, mind, and spirit from that which enslaves you. Give your particular type of overindulgence a name (drunkenness, gluttony, or whatever else it may be).

Confess your sin to God and ask His forgiveness. If you wish, you can use the following prayer (inserting your own sin in the blank).

Father, I have sinned against you by _________. I know that this hurts You, and I am sorry for that. Please forgive me for the sake of Christ. Make me clean, Lord, removing from my heart the desires that have enslaved me. Fill me with the Holy Spirit, and through Him give me the strength to walk the path of righteousness one day at a time. In Jesus’ name, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Now that you have repented and been set free from your sin, this freedom must be defended. You have to understand the tactics of your enemies and defend against them accordingly.

• The world tells you, “It’s your body and you can do what you want with it.” Overcome the world system by rejecting such a distorted value. Embrace the value God places on self-control and moderation over self-indulgence. Listen to Him and not to the world.

• Your flesh wants the gratifications of physical sensations. So when such desires arise, remember that your flesh is dead; you are now living by the Spirit. You do not have to do what your flesh wants.
  Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. —Galatians 6:8

• Satan will encourage you to satisfy your desires for excessive self-indulgence. Hold up the “shield of faith” to stop the fiery arrows of the devil (Ephesians 6:16), showing you realize that ungodly self-indulgence does not offer lasting satisfaction.

 The temptation to overindulge oneself tends to be especially persistent in a person’s life. Plan on remaining vigilant toward your enemies’ attacks for the rest of your life. The battle is long, but in God’s power you can be victorious.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

Take proactive measures if you wish to remain free from the sin of overindulgence. By reducing temptation, you can improve the chances of your success.

• Focus on your relationship with God.
  Start every day with God. Give Him your attention and devotion instead of concentrating on the thing that once held you captive to your selfish desires. Consider fasting periodically as a reminder that “People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” —Mathew 4:4

• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Find truths in Scripture that will encourage you in your resistance to the temptations of overindulgence. Memorize key verses for recall when you need them. Here is one verse we recommend:
  The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self–control. There is no law against these things! —Galatians 5:22–23, emphasis added

• Establish safeguards. 
  What situations tend to encourage your excessive self-indulgence? Take decisive action to avoid those situations as much as possible. For example:
  • If you are irresponsible in your eating, plan reasonable menus a week at a time and buy only what you will need.
  • If you get drunk, remove all the alcohol from your house, ask your friends not to serve alcohol when you are around, and never go to an eating establishment that serves liquor.
  • If you watch too much TV, get rid of your television set or put a timer on it.
  • Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not overindulge.

• Expect victory. 
  You have the Spirit of God living in you and imparting to you everything you need to win this fight. Yield to Him daily in anticipation of total deliverance from your sin habit. When you do this, He will replace your self-indulgent desires with moderation and self-control.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

In his autobiography, Just As I Am, Billy Graham told the story of meeting two men on a Caribbean island he was visiting with his wife, Ruth. 

One of the wealthiest men in the world asked us to come to his lavish home for lunch. He was seventy-five years old, and throughout the entire meal he seemed close to tears. 

“I am the most miserable man in the world,” he said. “Out there is my yacht. I can go anywhere I want to. 

I have my private plane, my helicopters. I have everything I want to make me happy. And yet I’m miserable as hell.”

We talked with him and had prayer with him, trying to point him to Christ, who alone gives lasting meaning to life.

Then we went down the hill to a small cottage where we were staying. That afternoon the pastor of the local Baptist church came to call. He was an Englishman, and he too was seventy-five. A widower, he spent most of his free time taking care of his two invalid sisters. He reminded me of a cricket—always jumping up and down, full of enthusiasm and love for Christ and for others.

“I don’t have two pounds to my name,” he said with a smile, “but I’m the happiest man on this island.”1

One man rich and miserable, the other poor and joy-filled. Worldly values would tell us that the two men ought to have swapped attitudes. So what is the truth of the matter? Why are some people chronically dissatisfied, while others are content with the way things are? There must be something fundamentally flawed in the soul of one who is always dissatisfied. It must be a sin issue.

Having said that, we hasten to add that not all dissatisfaction is sinful. For instance, there is nothing wrong with dissatisfaction at sin and injustice. We should be dissatisfied with these wrongs and strive to correct them. (Your reading this book presumably reflects a godly dissatisfaction with habitual sin in your life.)

There is also nothing wrong with a dissatisfaction that exists because so much still remains to be done to build Christ’s kingdom. If God has given you a vision for what He wants you to accomplish for Him, you certainly may let your dissatisfaction with your partial progress impel you to greater work in the future. Ambition and contentment are not necessarily opposed to one another.

The kind of dissatisfaction we are concerned with here is the kind that says, “I want more money, more stuff, more fun, more comfort in life—and I deserve it. I’d better take over the responsibility for myself; God isn’t doing a good enough job.”

But dissatisfaction is not only a slap in the face of God; it is also a way we rob ourselves of the joy we might have day by day, because we obsess about what we might have in the future instead of enjoying what we do have in the present. And as we become restless, resentful, and bitter, other people naturally prefer not to be around us.

Contentment ought to be the birthright (or rather, the new-birth right) of all Christians. But not all enjoy contentment. What about you? Are you dissatisfied? Do you have a problem with envy or greed? Is your attitude marked by complaining and ingratitude? Are you prepared to steal and grab to get what you want?

Read on. From personal experience, we (Bill and Henry) know how strong the pull of greed or discontentment can be. But we also believe that the following scriptural truths will convict you of dissatisfaction. The soul prescription will help you root contentment in your soul like a vigorous new plant.

The Grass on the Other Side of the Fence

One day years ago, I (Henry) was riding a horse across a ranch in Texas. The ranch property stretched over the horizon, with the only intrusion being the highway that ran through its middle. Now, you would think that the cattle on such a vast ranch would have all the grass they want, wouldn’t you? But what did I see? I observed a cow stretching its neck through the barbed-wire fence to nibble grass on the highway’s right-of-way.

Isn’t that like us? We have so much, but we want more. If somebody else has got it and we do not, we want it. Even if we do not need it, and even if God has offered no indication that He wants to give it to us, we think it has got to be ours.

This attitude goes by the name of envy or jealousy or covetousness. (For our purposes, we’ll use the words interchangeably.) Whatever you call this attitude, it is an improper craving for something another person possesses to such an extent that you cannot be happy unless you have it. It is a sinful desire for things that belong to your neighbor.

God condemned this attitude in the Ten Commandments, saying, “You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor”(Exodus 20:17).2 As the commandment suggests, the object of covetousness might be almost anything.

Most obviously, the object of coveting might be a material possession. In the Bible, for example, we read how King Ahab coveted Naboth’s vineyard. (See 1 Kings 21.) We might want the new car our neighbor purchased or the big house our friend just acquired.

Also, we might be jealous over a person, perhaps someone else’s attractive spouse. That was what happened when David spied Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba, bathing in her yard. (See 2 Samuel 11:2–4.) Many a person today is similarly consumed with desire for another person’s wife or husband.

We might also be envious of a personal quality or advantage that another person possesses. Jacob envied Esau’s blessing and birthright as the older brother. (See Genesis 25:27). We might wish we had another person’s good looks or social ease or singing ability.

It is not always wrong to want a possession, person, or quality. There is nothing necessarily blameworthy about wanting to have a new car or to be married or to be able to sing well. It is when we desire someone else’s car or spouse or voice that we go wrong with envy. It is then that we sin and violate the tenth commandment.

Envy can become a habit as we brood over what we want. Our obsessive and misplaced desire can easily be compounded by other sins as we seek to get that which we lack from others. King Ahab murdered Naboth. David had an affair with Bathsheba. Jacob conned Esau out of his rightful blessing and birthright. All of these situations was the outworking of envy.

The message for us is simple: “Don’t participate in…jealousy” (Romans 13:13).

Meanwhile, another form of dissatisfaction—greed—is just as bad for the Christian.

Unappeasable Appetite for Wealth

Early media mogul William Randolph Hearst invested a fortune in collecting art treasures from around the world. One day Hearst read the description of a valuable art item, which he then sent his agent abroad to locate. After months of searching, the agent reported that he had finally found the treasure. To the surprise of Hearst, the priceless masterpiece was stored in a warehouse belonging to none other than William Randolph Hearst.

Hearst had so much that he did not even know what he had. But that did not stop him from wanting more. Greed had set him to running in a circle. It is like a hunger that is never satisfied but only becomes more voracious as it is fed.

Greed is the inordinate love of money and what money can buy. It is a form of dissatisfaction with one’s financial position that results in striving selfishly for more money rather than seeking after God. Thus, money may displace the Lord at the height of our affections.

“You can be sure that no…greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God,” warned the apostle Paul. “For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world” (Ephesians 5:5).

Jesus likewise said, “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:24). Notice that Jesus did not say we should not serve two masters but that we cannot. It is impossible to combine ultimate obedience to God with ultimate obedience to any other person or thing, including wealth.

The Bible is consistent in condemning greed. We are warned, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own” (Luke 12:15). And we are told, “Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have” (Hebrews 13:5). Nevertheless, greed is so widespread in our time that we might wonder if we live in the last days when “people will love only themselves and their money” (2 Timothy 3:2).

Greed, incidentally, is a temptation that affects rich and poor alike. Those of us with modest means cannot assume that greed is a failing that belongs only to the William Randolph Hearsts of the world. What matters is not how much you have but how badly you want more and what you are willing to do to get it.

It is possible to make a distinction between an acceptable desire for money and a sinful desire. Ask yourself these questions to test whether your desire for wealth is acceptable to God.

What is your motive for wanting more money? Is it because you are having trouble meeting the basic needs and wants that you and your family have? Is it because you want to give more generously to the work of God? These are good reasons for wanting more money.

What is your plan for acquiring more money? While working to acquire greater wealth, will you trust God to meet your needs and never forget that He is what you need most of all? Will you honor Him by pursuing financial gain in a just and ethical way, remembering to be generous to others along the way?

If your desire for money meets the requirements, work as hard at it as you like! If you fail the tests, on the other hand, you should be concerned about the kinds of wickedness you are being drawn into. A selfish desire for money that we do not really need is a soul crippler.

Paul made the same point, by observing, “True religion with contentment is great wealth.”

Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. —1 Timothy 6:6–10

Judas Iscariot’s story bears out Paul’s words in 1 Timothy. This man “was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples money, he often stole some for himself” (John 12:6). In the end he went to the religious leaders and asked, “How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?” (Matthew 26:15). They offered him thirty pieces of silver and he took it.

Once Jesus was arrested, Judas was overcome by remorse. He threw the blood money back, but it was too late. He killed himself, and the thirty pieces of silver were used to buy a cemetery where perhaps Judas himself was buried. (See Matthew 27:3–10.) Thus greed ended up where it naturally will (unless repentance intervenes first): in death.

But before greed comes to an end, it contributes to all kinds of evil effects. One of these may be thievery.

Hands That Take Instead of Work

When greed and envy mate, they often produce the ugly offspring of stealing. This is the sin of taking money or possessions belonging to another. The Bible affirms the right to property, and so seizing what belongs to another rates God’s condemnation. “You must not steal” (Exodus 20:15).3

To see the true extent of this sin, we need to define “stealing” widely enough. Failing to pay bills or taxes that we owe is stealing. Doing less work than we are being paid for is stealing. Using copyrighted material without the permission of the owner is stealing.

With such a definition, we can see that stealing is not so rare a problem as we might otherwise have thought. In fact, many people are willing to steal if they think they can get away with it. How quickly will normal law-abiding citizens resort to looting when the power goes out? How many “good” people download software or music files that belong to another?

The rule is this: if it is not yours, leave it alone. Never steal!

Paul was aware that stealing was a problem in the early church. He told new believers, “If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need” (Ephesians 4:28). The same word applies to you if you steal. You may be pleasantly surprised by the changes it brings to your life.

Many years ago, a businessman approached me (Bill) and shared his desire to experience the blessing of the Spirit-filled life. But he said that every time he got down on his knees to pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit, he was convicted about what he had stolen from his employer.

I told him to confess his sin to God, then go to his employer and make restitution. He was terribly concerned that his employer would fire him, but he agreed to go.

When the man shared his dishonesty with his employer, he was shocked by his boss’s response. His boss actually congratulated him for his honesty. Then the employer offered a plan that would take a small amount of what the man had stolen out of his paycheck each week until all had been repaid.

The result was that, not only did the formerly dishonest man learn a valuable lesson, but also two days later he was by faith filled with the Holy Spirit!

Trust God. Respect others’ property. Do the right thing and stop stealing.

Also learn to stop complaining about what you do not have. We see the prevalence of such ingratitude in a story from the life of Jesus.

The Attitude of Ingratitude

In ancient Israel the destiny of persons with infectious skin diseases was a hard one. They were required to quarantine themselves from the rest of society, leading to loneliness and a struggle for survival. But those shunned by others received the loving attention of our Lord.

As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”

He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy.

One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” —Luke 17:11–18

Who are you more like: the grateful one or the ungrateful nine? If you have a problem with dissatisfaction, it is a safe bet that you are not as thankful to God as you should be, for a grateful attitude drives out dissatisfaction.

The ungrateful become complainers as soon as they put their regrets into words. To God and to others, they retail what is missing from their wish list for life. This is an insult to God—and it probably does not make them popular with their friends either. The Scriptures tell us, “Do everything without complaining and arguing” (Philippians 2:14). Instead of complaining, we should be praising God.

Paul declared, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ!” (Ephesians 1:3). If God gave us nothing but salvation through faith in His Son, along with salvation’s spiritual blessings, that ought to be enough to silence our complaining tongues forever. But He gives us much more.

Stop for a minute and think about what you do have. You would like to have more money—but how much money do you have? There are some things you would like to own—but what do you own? Perhaps your physical health is limited—but what can you do? How are you blessed with abilities that enable you to create beauty, with friends who bring richness to life, or with good memories that warm your heart in moments of solitude?

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father. —James 1:17

A Bible secret to banishing dissatisfaction is thanking our gift-giving God. “Pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done” (Philippians 4:6). “Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20). The Bible even says, “Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them” (James 1:9).

Gratitude is like a lens that helps us refocus our attention from our perceived lacks (which might not be good for us anyway) to our actual blessings from God. In this way, gratitude leads us to contentment and brings healing to our soul.

All is Well

The task of one with a dissatisfaction habit is not only to eliminate the sin of dissatisfaction from his or her life but also to cultivate the virtue of contentment. Contentment is a special benefit available to all followers of Jesus Christ. It is not something we can work up on our own. Rather, it is something we can receive as a gift while we cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives.

In The Art of Divine Contentment, Puritan Thomas Watson offered one of the best definitions of contentment: “It is a sweet temper of spirit, whereby a Christian carries himself in an equal poise in every condition.” In other words, it is a kind of satisfaction that depends only on the presence of God in our lives, not on whether we are presently up or down in the changing mix of life’s circumstances.

Contentment is not consistent with unrighteous desires, for unrighteous desires will always trouble our spirit. However, being content does not necessarily mean we give up wanting things that are legitimately good. Thomas Watson observed of Hannah in the Old Testament, “Hannah’s spirit was burdened; ‘I am,’ says she, ‘a woman of sorrowful spirit.’ Now having prayed, and wept, she went away, and was no more sad; only here is the difference between a holy complaint and a discontented complaint; in the one we complain to God, in the other we complain of God.”4 We can pray to God for what we do not have even while we thank Him for what we do have.

The apostle Paul had discovered how to live with an equal poise in every condition.

I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. —Philippians 4:11–13

When Christ fills your heart and mind, you can be at peace and content with the things, people, and circumstances our sovereign God has placed in your life. The only thing that truly satisfies is knowing Jesus Christ. Striving, coveting, and spending our time wanting what is not available to us can leave us broken and bitter.

God is orchestrating life’s circumstances leading us toward the fulfillment of His plans for our individual lives and for history as a whole. Contentment is a result of trusting the fact that God knows perfectly what is best to give us and when. It is saying yes to His blessings upon us. They are enough; we need no more.

Someday God will share with us all the wealth of heaven. Our lifestyle then will be far greater than even that experienced by the rich man in the Caribbean whom Ruth and Billy Graham visited, with none of the emptiness in his soul. And in the meantime, each of us who knows the Lord can enjoy the “endless treasures available to them in Christ” (Ephesians 3:8).

Soul Prescription for Dissatisfaction

Are you struggling with some type of dissatisfaction, such as envy, complaining, or greed? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

Flaws in your view of God can easily produce dissatisfaction in your life. For example, you may have made the mistake of looking to God as your own personal genie who should grant your every wish. On the other hand, you may see Him as some miserly old hermit who would not give a bone to a dog. Either viewpoint would greatly affect your ability to be content and satisfied.

• God is sovereign, and He is in control of your life.
  With my great strength and powerful arm I made the earth and all its people and every animal. I can give these things of Mine to anyone I choose. —Jeremiah 27:5

• God is faithful. He will always do what is best for us.
  So the LORD must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for His help.—Isaiah 30:18

Through searching the Scriptures, learn more about God as Sovereign Lord. As you do so, consider how flaws in your view of God might be at the root of your problem of dissatisfaction. Ask God to help you understand Him as He really is.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

The belief that we deserve everything we want and more does not line up with God’s Holy Word. The belief that happiness comes with possessions or position is in direct opposition to God’s truth. Such examples of false beliefs about people and life can fuel dissatisfaction. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you believe you would be happy if you had more money?
  Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

• Do you believe you would be happy if you looked different?
  Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. —1 Peter 3:3–4

• Do you believe you would be happy if you had a better job?
  Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. —1 Corinthians 7:17

These questions reveal false beliefs that breed discontentment. Other such false beliefs are possible. Spend time searching the Word for its perspective on contentment. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where your thinking has fallen off track and then to accept the truth.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

Are you ready to turn away from dissatisfaction? Begin by specifically identifying the way you tend to be dissatisfied (envy, ingratitude, or whatever). Next, pray a prayer of confession to God. If you wish, you may use the one below, inserting the name of your sin of dissatisfaction in the blank.

God, I know that everything I have is a gift from You. Yet I have been dissatisfied through __________. I realize that my discontentment is born from a selfish and sinful heart, and I am truly sorry for my attitude. Please forgive me and wash all the discontentment out of my heart. Make me able to put __________ behind me for good and learn to be content. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen .

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Remember, you must always be on your guard against attack from the three enemies of your soul: the world, the flesh, and the Devil. They will conspire to draw you back to your old habits of dissatisfaction.

• The world’s value system perpetuates dissatisfaction as it preaches, “Always want more and better.” Expose yourself to God’s truth to the point that you have fully understood that a life of contentment is the best way to live.
• Your flesh, or sinful nature, will continue to crave its old objects of desire, whether it is more money, possessions, or people. Tell yourself every day, “My flesh is dead. I live by the Spirit now.” Rely on the Holy Spirit for help in every temptation.
• Satan uses our neighbor’s standard of living to breed discontent in our hearts. Put on “salvation as your helmet” (Ephesians 6:17) for protection from poisonous thoughts of envy.

Keep on the lookout for any temptation that would draw you back into your old ways of dissatisfaction. Seek God’s strength to defend against spiritual attacks. His strength is sufficient.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

We are told in James 1:14 that the source of temptation lies in “our own desires.” The desire for more, or for something different and new, is a catalyst for dissatisfaction. This desire must be kept under control over the long term by taking certain precautions.

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  Do not be satisfied with a brief quiet time in the morning and a trip to church once a week. Develop a devotional life  that spreads into your whole existence. As you keep your thoughts on God and His kingdom, instead of the things of this world, you will be less susceptible to temptations of dissatisfaction.

• Latch on to God’s promises.  Find verses in the Bible that are meaningful to you in your battle against dissatisfaction. Memorize these verses and recall them whenever temptation strikes. Here are two verses for your consideration:
  If God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you.—Matthew 6:30
  The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.—Psalm 84:11

• Establish safeguards. 
  Make changes in your life that will keep you away from the most common temptations that have produced dissatisfaction for you. Be creative, and come up with as many changes as will help you. Then, don’t forget to implement them!  Consider these examples to spark your own ideas:

• If you find yourself envying something another person possesses, immediately thank God for one blessing He has given you.
• If you tend to be greedy, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other ministry to the poor that will help you see how comfortable you really are.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not be so dissatisfied.

• Expect victory. 
Remember that success in defeating the habitual sin of dissatisfaction can be found in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. He is always working in you to make you more like Jesus, which includes being content. Yield to Him daily in anticipation of deliverance from the crippling habit of dissatisfaction.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

Lust is the ape that gibbers in our loins,” declares the character Godric in a novel by Frederick Buechner. “Tame him as we will by day, he rages all the wilder in our dreams by night. Just when we think we are safe from him, he raises up his ugly head and smirks, and there’s no river in the world flows cold and strong enough to strike him down.” 

Godric concludes by crying out to heaven, “Almighty God, why dost thou deck men out with such a loathsome toy?”1 

Many of us might nod along with Godric, having felt inside ourselves a lustfulness that would push us toward sexual immorality. But let us be clear about one thing from the start: it is lust, not sex itself, that is the “loathsome toy” and the “gibbering ape.” Lust is unbridled sexual desire that is directed in the wrong way.

Sex per se is not loathsome at all. In fact, when properly expressed (that is, between a man and woman who are married to each other), sex is a great thing—one of God’s best blessings to us. Sex without sin is a beautiful act of union, becoming “one flesh.” (See Genesis 2:24–25 kjv). An entire book of the Bible, Song of Solomon, uses sexual imagery in a positive way. Only when this good gift of sex is perverted into an evil through lustful desires do we see the multiple expressions of immorality that mar our world.

Here are a few examples of perversion:

• The college student who “hooks up” with strangers at dorm parties.
• The homemaker who costars with a neighbor in her own romantic fantasies.
• The wayward husband who knows the numbers to call-girl services in every city where he travels on business.
• The girl who loves the attention she gets by dressing seductively.
• The man who logs on to immoral websites when his wife and kids have gone to bed.
• The woman who lets herself be led to the bed of another woman whom she once considered just a friend.
• The step-father who darkens the doorway of his step-daughter at night.

These are only a few of the types of sexual immorality that sadden the heart of God.

Counselors sometimes categorize sexual sins as “victimless” sins and “victimizing” sins.2 Examples of “victimless” sins include calling a phone sex line, viewing pornography, and going to a strip show. Of course, these are not truly victimless activities. For example, someone who buys pornography helps to fund the porn industry, which goes on to ensnare other people with its immoral product. But other than indirectly, these activities involve no one who is participating unwillingly. In that sense, they are “victimless.”

Victimizing sexual sins are more dangerous, even criminal. These include such actions as exposing oneself in public, molesting a child, and touching another person in a sexual way without his or her consent. If you or someone you know is involved in any of these kinds of victimizing sexual behaviors, more than just repentance is needed. Immediate intervention may be required to prevent someone from being seriously harmed. If you are connected with a situation like this, seek legal or professional help.

Whether the sexual immorality is “victimless” or “victimizing,” it is a violation of God’s will for human beings. And since sex is such a powerful “toy” (to use Godric’s term), a pattern of sin can quickly set in. Some may call this a “sex addiction,” but we prefer to call it a sexual sin habit needing healing.

Recently I (Henry) was asked by a Christian couple to counsel their twenty-year-old son, who has started sleeping with his girlfriend. When I asked the young man about it, he said he knew his behavior was wrong but he had no desire to quit because he was having the most fun of his life. This is a person who has discovered the power of sex. This young man was caught in a sin habit but had no desire to break from the sin.

Sin habits must be broken. Time and again, Scripture warns us against misusing the gift of sex.

Don’t participate in…sexual promiscuity and immoral living. —Romans 13:13

Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. —Colossians 3:5

You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust. —1 Peter 4:3

In another passage, the apostle Paul laid out the rationale for sexual purity among Christians. Since we are spiritually united with anyone other than our spouse.

But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies….

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. —1 Corinthians 6:13, 18–20

We recognize that the causes for sexual immorality may be complicated. Childhood sexual abuse, for example, often predisposes its victims to making poor choices about their sexuality in later life. One’s other sins, such as self-indulgence or deceit, may be related to improper sexual behavior. But regardless of these other factors, sin is still sin.

Let’s look at some of the major types of sexual immorality. Do you have a problem with any of these?

Sex Without Marriage

The older term for sex by unmarried persons is fornication. Today we are more likely to call it premarital sex. Either way, it is wrong in God’s book. A young person (or an older one for that matter!) who is unmarried and tempted to have sex would do well to take to heart Solomon’s speech to a young man about the temptation and costs of casual sex, recorded in Proverbs 6:24—7:27.

On the one hand, we are sympathetic to single people who are tempted to engage in premarital sex or who have already given in to that temptation. The sex drive is strong for most people, and without the acceptable outlet of marriage, people may be left with powerful feelings of sexual desire that they do not know how to  manage. They consequently may allow their physical longings to override their moral standards and better judgment.

We are also aware that once a single person begins sleeping with a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is hard to quit. The powerful binding effect of physical intimacy makes it hard to break away from the sin habit of premarital sex. (Of course, the binding effect is also what causes much of the heartache that attends sex before marriage.) Desires for affection and security can lead to and reinforce premarital sexual behavior.

Because of the temptations facing single people today, an option that many (even some who profess Christ) would promote is a couple’s cohabiting before marriage. This arrangement seems more acceptable than casual sex because it involves a “committed,” quasi-married status. And so the practice of “living together” has become almost too commonplace for comment. Currently there are around 5 million unmarried couples living together in America. At least half of all marriages involve couples who lived together before the ceremony.

But is a “trial marriage” good for the real marriage that follows? It seems not. Scott Stanley, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, has found that “men who cohabit with the women they eventually marry are less committed to the union than men who never lived with their spouses ahead of time.”3 Not surprisingly, the divorce rate for those who cohabit and then marry is as much as 50 percent higher than for those who marry without living together first.4

In addition to increasing the risk of future divorce, premarital sex carries with it many other costs, including the danger of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, worry about creating an unwanted pregnancy, and the loss of the ability to give a future marriage partner the precious gift of one’s virginity. It all adds up to a hefty price tag! But even if there were no practical drawbacks to premarital sex, it would still be wrong. Let’s be frank here. Regardless of our sympathy for those tempted to engage in sex before marriage, we must agree with God in calling such behavior sin.

Many have remained chaste before marriage—or even for an entire lifetime. So regardless of how many times you hear that you “can’t help” having sex, it is possible. No matter how powerful the desire to start or continue having sex before marriage may be, God is more powerful still.

A. C. Green is a former NBA player with the Los Angeles Lakers, as well as other NBA teams. He still holds the “Iron Man” of basketball record for most consecutive games played. Both during and after his basketball career, Green has been an outspoken advocate—especially to youth—of sexual abstinence and about putting an end to premarital sex once it has started. He was married in 2002, but prior to his marriage, he had this to say about sexual purity:

God is the God of the second chance. I am a virgin by choice, and I hold that decision with honor and respect. But if you can’t make that same claim, then God can help you reclaim the virtue of purity. He can enable you to regain self-control and self-respect and that desire to be a strong Christian.5

Regardless of your past sexual history, with God’s help you can begin today to choose to remain pure. Every day you wake up alone will be a victory for you and a delight to God.

Violation of the Marriage Bed

While fornication is sex between two unmarried persons, adultery is sex between two people who are not married to each other and when at least one of them is married to someone else. This violation of sex is called infidelity and extramarital sex.

One of God’s top-ten commandments is “You must not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).6 The author of the letter to the Hebrews offered one of several New Testament repetitions of the original ban on adultery when he wrote, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4 niv).

Few people begin a marriage imagining they will ever cheat on their spouse. But time passes and temptations arise. Eventually a spouse finds himself or herself choosing to do what had previously seemed unimaginable.

For some adulterers, an affair can seem to restore the emotional intensity he or she has not felt since courtship before marriage. The intensity of the adultery serves to prolong the guilty relationship. Perhaps the adulterer likes the thrill of the chase. Serial conquests make him or her feel proud. Whatever the motivation, a pattern of destructive feelings, thoughts, and actions has developed.

Intimate relationships with the wrong people is not the only cause of adultery. In Matthew 19:9 the word usually translated “adultery” is porneia. It is a general term referring to any kind of sexual trespass. Therefore, such solitary behaviors as entertaining sexual fantasies and viewing pornography might qualify as adultery of a sort.

People caught in the habit of sexual sin keep on violating their marriage vows. They even think they will get away with it. Never! Adultery has subtle—and often not so subtle—destructive effects in this life. Certainly in the next life adultery will come under divine judgment.

Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished….

But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. He will be wounded and disgraced. His shame will never be erased. —Proverbs 6:27–29, 32–33

For many unfaithful spouses, the attraction of adultery lies in its forbiddenness. This is nothing new. Solomon described a representative woman named Folly who called out to men, “Come home with me. Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!”

Solomon had an answer for that kind of seduction.

Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman? —Proverbs 5:15–20

Adultery is often the last step in a series of sins that take place within a marriage. Disappointment or conflict in a marriage is never a justifiable cause for adultery. If you feel you do not love your spouse anymore and do love someone else, the answer is not to get involved with that other person; the answer is to yield to the love of God through repentance and obedience. Repentance will change your thoughts and actions so that you can love your spouse and reject all others who would come between you.

Same-Sex Sex

Few special-interest groups in our society are as vocal and aggressive as the gay rights movement. If members of this movement get their way, they will have all of us believing that sex between persons of the same gender is as right as sex between a husband and a wife. But is it?

The Old Testament law plainly states, “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin” (Leviticus 18:22). Male prostitution was a part of pagan worship in the Old Testament, so it had a doubly wicked appeal for some Israelite men. Sentencing guidelines for persons convicted of a homosexual act in ancient Israel decreed it to be a capital offense (Leviticus 20:13).

In New Testament times, the apostle Paul included gay and lesbian acts in his analysis of how the human race has gone astray.

God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. —Romans 1:26–27

Paul also included male prostitutes and homosexuals in his list of sinners who will not “inherit the Kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians. 6:9–10)—unless, of course, they repent.

It is important to realize that people make the choice to engage in homosexual acts. Some have touted genetic findings as proof that people are “born gay.” But the truth is that if there is a genetic component to some people’s homosexuality (and this is by no means finally settled), it at most opens the door to that behavior; it certainly does not determine that behavior. The decision to indulge in homosexual activity is a choice, and a sinful one.

It is also important to realize that people who have engaged in gay sex in the past can change. They do not have to believe the “once gay, always gay” propaganda of some gay and lesbian leaders.

 In 1973, prominent psychiatrist Dr. Robert Spitzer led the movement to remove homosexuality from the American Psychiatric Association’s manual of disorders. But a quarter century later he encountered some ex-gay protestors, and though he was skeptical, he decided to investigate the possibility of a person’s changing from a homosexual orientation to a heterosexual one.

Spitzer’s study results showed some remarkable results. He interviewed 200 subjects (143 men and 57 women) who claimed to have left homosexuality behind. “To Spitzer’s surprise, good heterosexual functioning was reportedly achieved by 67 percent of the men who had rarely or never felt any opposite-sex attraction before the change process. Nearly all the subjects said they now feel more masculine (in the case of men) or more feminine (women).”7

We are not saying that breaking a homosexual sin habit is easy. But whether you have indulged in homosexual activity a little or a lot, or if you have just wanted to, God is more than able to help you escape the temptations you face. He loves gay people just the way He loves all sinners (that includes every one of us), and He can help you to have a chaste life as a single person or a satisfying marriage with a person of the opposite sex.

Immodesty: The Sex Appeal

Supermodel Kim Alexis appeared on over five hundred magazine covers, including those of Vogue and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Then in 1990 Alexis committed her life to Jesus Christ. This new spiritual relationship changed her perspective about the industry in which she participated.

In her 1998 book, A Model for a Better Future, Alexis says, “The worst part of this business is that you are constantly asked to compromise your moral standards. There are pictures I look back on today and think, Oh, why did I let them talk me into that? I made some choices I’m not proud of.”

Based on her own experience, Alexis has advice for others. She says, “Many women are playing with fire in the way they dress. Dressing like a floozy tells the world, ‘Look at me, want me, lust after me. I’m easy and you can have me.’ Displaying intimate parts of the body is a form of advertising for sex—so if you dress to attract sexual attention, you can hardly blame anyone else if that kind of attention comes your way.”

On the other hand, “Dressing modestly tells the world, ‘I respect myself and I insist on being treated with respect.’” Alexis adds, “It’s possible to be stylish and attractive without wearing something that is too short, low-cut, or see-through.”8

Of course, modesty is not all about covering up with clothes. Wendy Shalit is a young woman who got interested in the subject of modesty when she was forced to use coed bathrooms in her college dorm. She later wrote,

Many of the problems we hear about today—sexual harassment, date rape, young women who suffer from eating disorders and report feeling a lack of control over their bodies—are all connected, I believe, to our culture’s attack on modesty. Listen, first, to the words we use to describe intimacy: what once was called “making love,” and then “having sex,” is now “hooking up”—like airplanes refueling in flight. In this context I was interested to learn, while researching for my book, that the early feminists actually praised modesty as ennobling to society.… Simone de Beauvoir…warned in her book, The Second Sex, that if society trivializes modesty, violence against women would result. And she was right. Since the 1960s, when our cultural arbiters deemed this age-old virtue a “hang-up,” men have grown to expect women to be casual about sex, and women for their part don’t feel they have the right to say “no.” This has brought us all more misery than joy.9

What Wendy Shalit, Kim Alexis, and other men and women have rediscovered is nothing more than a principle taught long ago in the New Testament. The apostle Paul wrote,

I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. —1 Timothy 2:9–1010

Let’s be clear about a couple of things. First, a woman’s immodesty in dress or behavior does not justify men in lusting after her or—certainly—in committing acts of sexual violence against her. Second, men can be just as guilty of immodesty as women. 

But regardless of who is behaving immodestly and why, that person is guilty of degrading himself or herself while tempting others to sin. As Paul said, let us make ourselves attractive through goodness, not sex appeal.

Sexual Sins of Mind and Eye

Not all sex involves two bodies coming together; sometimes the sin occurs with just the eye or the mind. For women, the problem is often one of sexual fantasy. They may read love stories or watch romantic movies and imagine themselves to be acting out the illicit situations that are portrayed. For men (who tend to be more visually stimulated), the problem more likely is ogling. An attractive woman passes by, and they do not merely notice and then glance away but keep on staring after her.

The Bible is realistic about the problems of ogling and sexual fantasy. And it does not downplay their seriousness, as we might do. Jesus said,

You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. —Matthew 5:27–29

Jesus was using hyperbole, or exaggeration for effect. But His points are clear: intent is morally equivalent to action, and lustful looks require a radical response.

In a sermon, Minnesota pastor John Piper emphasized the importance of reacting quickly and aggressively when we have an immoral thought.

We must not give a sexual image or impulse more than five seconds before we mount a violent counterattack with the mind. I mean that! Five seconds. In the first two seconds we shout, “NO! Get out of my head!” In the next two seconds we cry out: “O God, in the name of Jesus, help me. Save me now. I am Yours.”

Good beginning. But then the real battle begins. This is a mind war. The absolute necessity is to get the image and the impulse out of our mind. How? Get a counter-image into the mind. Fight. Push. Strike. Don’t ease up. It must be an image that is so powerful that the other image cannot survive.

Piper suggested using an image of Christ dying on the cross as one’s “counter-image.”11

Another effective response might be to imitate Job, who said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman” (Job 31:1). No matter how deeply ingrained the habit has become, one who ogles can make a “covenant with his eyes,” or establish a new commitment not to stare at women.

But there is more to the problem than just ogling. The wrong of staring lustfully at a woman applies equally to staring lustfully at the picture of a woman. We are talking here about pornography—a plague that has come to take a monstrous toll in our society.

Pornography is almost as old as human history. Archaeologists have found sexually titillating pictures molded on the lids of clay objects in Israel, glazed onto the sides of Grecian pottery, and painted on the walls of homes in Pompeii. What’s new these days is the quantity and availability—not to mention the widespread acceptance—of pornography. When Hugh Hefner launched his Playboy magazine in 1953, pornography began to go mainstream in American culture. Dirty books, magazines, movies, and videos soon abounded. Then in the 1990s, when the world logged on to the Internet, porn proliferated like never before, with viewers able to access a seemingly endless supply of prurient images without ever leaving their homes.

When you look at pornography, it is as if you are filing away a photo in a photo album. From then on, the image remains buried in your unconscious and may surface to fill the eye of your mind even when you do not want it to, repeating its harm again and again. Why put pollution like that in your heart?

The argument goes on as to whether pornography contributes to incidences of sex crimes, and courts struggle to define what is “obscene.” But we do not need to wait to declare pornography sinful. By encouraging lust, turning human beings into objects, and redirecting sexual desire outside of marriage, pornography is clearly wrong.

And if you have any doubts about the harm that pornography causes those who appear in it, willingly or unwillingly, you should consider the firsthand testimony of one of its victims, “Sandra.” In her thirties today, in childhood Sandra was raped by her grandfather and was forced into posing for pornography when she was still in her early teens.

The memories of posing for those pictures are so painful, more so than the physical and sexual abuse. At least then I was fighting with someone or I could get caught up in the pain of the struggle to distract myself. Posing was different. It was more vulnerable and exposed. I often prayed to God that he wouldn’t look at me until it was over. I was so ashamed and didn’t want him to see me like that. I also would worry about other people seeing the pictures and was terrified of what people would think of me. Having someone stare at me and judge me from ten feet away while taking pictures, as I stood there naked, cold, exposed, embarrassed and humiliated, made me wish I could be nothing. He [the photographer] would talk to me as if I was an object and was oblivious to my pain. I wanted to turn into an object but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t go that numb. My soul and heart just hurt so much every time the flash from the camera would go off. It felt like someone was knocking my worth down lower and lower, and by the time the roll of film was done I didn’t have any worth. When it was over, getting dressed was like getting some dignity back. The worry of what would be done with those pictures would plague me from then on.12

Hardly a victimless crime, is it? Porn hurts both those who are featured in it and those who choose to view it.

If you are involved with porn, stop it now and stop it for good. Declare with David, “I will set before my eyes no vile thing.”13

Your Purity Potential

We have not dealt with all the possible forms of sexual immorality. There is also prostitution, incest, and other behaviors that frankly we do not even care to mention. But our tour of sexual sins has been enough to demonstrate the many awful ways that the gift of sexuality can be perverted and turned into something degrading and shameful.

The bottom line is that the only place where sexual activity is acceptable is between a man and a woman who are married to each other. As hard as it may seem, sexual abstinence is the requirement for anyone who is not married. And for married couples, sexual attention can be directed only toward your spouse.

Harder than these restrictions are the costs of sexual misbehavior. Guilt. Shame. Abuse. Disease. Broken marriages. Even criminal charges.

God loves us and wants to preserve us from such suffering. His prescriptions of sexual abstinence before marriage and of fidelity within marriage protect us from harm and at the same time offer married couples the freedom and enjoyment of sex as it was meant to be.14 Most of all, they show the way to holiness in relation to that important part of our life known as sexuality.

We are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God. —Titus 2:12

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. —2 Timothy 2:22

God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and His ways.… God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. —1 Thessalonians 4:3–5, 7

Reading such scriptural passages, you may find yourself saying, “But I just can’t! I’ve tried and I can’t stop my compulsive immorality.” You are right. You can’t stop sinning in this way—on your own. It takes the supernatural intervention of God to control the “ape gibbering in your loins.” And He is glad to give that intervention if you will ask for His help.

Need some encouragement that, through the power of God, you really can beat your immorality habit and become pure once more? Let us close with the story of “Jeff.” He was formerly involved in pedophilia, often considered an intractable or even an incurable behavior. But by God’s grace, and with the help of a ministry called Harvest USA, he is finding his way back to purity.

God has brought me very low. I finally came to see that without Christ’s work on the cross my own selfish desires would have me totally enveloped in my sin to the exclusion of my wife, my son, and everything I’ve ever cared for. I truly am nothing without his continuous grace in my life. After several months of being separated from my family, going through a court hearing in which God miraculously worked his sovereign grace, hearing in Harvest meetings how men are being transformed by God’s power, and seeing the continued deep depravity of my own heart, God has begun his transforming work in my heart. I am seeing that the cross truly breaks the power of sin in my life—even my sin of pedophilia. I am seeing that God is faithful, even when we are faithless, and He is not limited by human institutions or people’s opinions. It is his sovereign plan to set his children free from the law of sin and death and bring us into the eternal liberty to be shared with his Son.15

Purity is a beautiful thing. Its blessings exceed any brief pleasure that sexual immorality might offer. We pray that, like Jeff, you will take God’s hand and let Him lead you into purity.

Soul Prescription for Immorality

Are you struggling with a habit of sexual immorality? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

An incorrect view of God that sees Him as some kind of wishy-washy being who will simply look the other way when you sin will keep you in the vicious cycle of immorality.

• God is holy and cannot tolerate sexual immorality.
  God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.—1 Thessalonians 4:3
• God is present everywhere. There is no place you can hide your sin.
  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable. —Hebrews 4:13

Make no mistake about it: God sees your sexual sin for what it is. He does not look away, and you cannot hide it from Him. Pursue a study of God’s holiness and justice in Scripture. Admit to yourself that He sees and judges what you are doing.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

The false ideas from the world, related to sexuality, are almost unending. The harm they produce in people’s lives is almost unending as well. Just for starters, consider these self-evaluation questions:

• Do you believe your sexual immorality is acceptable?
  Some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.—Jude 1:4
• Do you believe your sexual desires are impossible to resist?
  Dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.—Romans 8:12

Given the ease with which we can unknowingly adopt false beliefs about human sexuality, we need to work hard to understand the truth about how God made us to be sexual beings. Using a concordance or topical Bible, learn more about God’s views on sexuality. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the truth about your sin and to help you change your thinking.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

Do you use pornography? Have you been cheating on your spouse? Have you been dressing immodestly to get attention? Whatever your form of immorality has been, do not duck it—admit it to yourself and name it.

Pray a prayer like the following, asking God to forgive your sin and empower your obedience.

God, I am guilty of the sin of _________. I know that my immoral behavior is wrong and that it causes You great pain, and I am truly sorry for that. Please forgive me for my sin. Cleanse me now of this sin and of its effects in my life. Fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit so that I may never return to this sin again. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

You will be attacked in your area of weakness—count on it. Every time you turn on your TV, log on to the Internet, or walk out your front door, the enemies of your soul will be there. Watch out for the world, the flesh, and the Devil.

The world’s values about sexuality are not God’s values. The world system tells you, “There is nothing wrong with two consenting adults finding pleasure in each other’s bodies.” But God says, “Your body was not created for sexual immorality. It does not belong to you; it belongs to Me.” Become so familiar with God’s values on sexuality that you can immediately see the error in the world’s values.

Your flesh (your sinful nature) will seek the pleasure of the flesh (your body) in the same old sinful ways you have known. Remember that the flesh (as your old sinful nature) is dead, having been crucified with Christ. You have been raised as a new person by the Holy Spirit. Live by the Spirit and not by the flesh.

Satan will set out the bait of sexual immorality for you. Protect yourself from these darts of temptation with the “shield of faith” (Ephesians 6:16). Then the Devil’s suggestions that you can find true happiness by doing something forbidden will fall harmless to the ground.

Most likely, you will need a defense against temptation for a long time. Prepare for a prolonged battle, yet keep up your hope, because God is stronger than all your foes.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

Sexual temptation can be hard to avoid. The roots of sexual desire run deep and feed off many different stimuli. If you are to remain free from this habitual sin, you must learn to avoid the things that feed it as much as possible.

• Focus on your relationship with God. Seek a rich spiritual relationship through regular worship of God. Physical stimulation through sinful means will then seem less appealing to you.
• Latch on to God’s promises. Find biblical statements or stories that encourage you in your fight against sexual immorality. Commit at least one verse to memory so that you can use it in your fight against temptation, just as Jesus used Scripture against the Devil in the desert. Here is one verse to consider using:
  You are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. —Romans 8:9

• Establish safeguards. What sets off your lustful acts? Put a barrier between that sinful trigger and yourself if you can. Take as many practical precautions to guard yourself. For example,
  • Immediately break off any immoral relationship you have.
  • If you rent pornographic DVDs, get rid of your DVD player. Or if you go to sexually explicit websites, install filtering software.
  • If you tend to dwell on lustful thoughts, choose a substitute image to put in your mind.
  • If you have homosexual tendencies, seek a Christian counselor skilled in reparative therapy.
  • Ask a trusted Christian friend 
  • to hold you accountable in your commitment to remain sexually pure.
• Expect victory. 
  You may have fallen to sexual immorality in the past, but that does not mean you cannot know sexual purity now. Believe in God and in the path toward holiness that only He can bring.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

You may remember the scandal from the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City in which a French ice skating judge scored a Russian pair higher than the Canadians Jamie Salé and David Pelletier, who had turned in what was widely considered a superior performance. But do you know how the truth came out? With many tears and much loud wailing. 

The French judge at the center of the scandal, Marie-Reine Le Gougne, was called into a meeting with the other judges just twelve hours after the skating event, on February 12, 2002. At one point the head referee, Ron Pfenning, passed around a sheet of paper that underscored the responsibility of judges to perform their duties with honesty and integrity. The French woman broke down.

Teary-eyed from the beginning, Le Gougne now began to cry out loud and to let loose an avalanche of words. “You don’t understand,” she said. “We’re under an awful lot of pressure. My federation, my president Didier, I had to put the Russians first.” She was referring to Didier Gailhaguet, then president of the French Figure Skating Federation, whom she alleged instructed her in advance how to score the event.

Le Gougne’s wailing in the meeting went on for several minutes. Finally it grew so loud that another person in the room covered the crack around the door with tape to keep people on the outside from hearing what was going on inside.1

And what was going on? The wailing was the sound of a conscience catching up with someone who was guilty of conspiring to cheat others. She was a deceiver found out.

To her credit, Le Gougne felt badly about what she had done. Others involved in various kinds of deceit seemingly do a better job of keeping their conscience pushed down and out of sight.

Of course, all persons are guilty of deceit to some extent. After all, we are told, “the human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). Our race has participated in deception since Adam and Eve went along with the serpent’s lies about the fruit God had placed off-limits. But some of us have a more serious problem in this area of deception. Some of us are serial deceivers.

Does that describe you? If so, where is your biggest problem with deception? Do you tell falsehoods when it serves your purpose? Do you pretend to be what you are not? Do you tell people what they want to hear about themselves, even when it is not true? Do you cheat to gain an advantage in a contest? Do you trick others for profit?

Watch out! Scripture tells us,

You [God] will destroy those who tell lies. The LORD detests murderers and deceivers. —Psalm 5:6

We know how tempting it can be to shade the truth or present oneself in a false light for selfish reasons. Nevertheless, each of us must give up deception and learn the ways of honesty and integrity.

Truth Decay

The image of the early Christian church in the opening pages of Acts is for the most part an attractive picture of faith, unity, and love. But in the midst of all this exemplary godliness, one event struck a jarring note, and it had to do with lying.

But there was a certain man named Ananias who, with his wife, Sapphira, sold some property. He brought part of the money to the apostles, claiming it was the full amount. With his wife’s consent, he kept the rest.

Then Peter said, “Ananias, why have you let Satan fill your heart? You lied to the Holy Spirit, and you kept some of the money for yourself. The property was yours to sell or not sell, as you wished. And after selling it, the money was also yours to give away. How could you do a thing like this? You weren’t lying to us but to God!”

As soon as Ananias heard these words, he fell to the floor and died. Everyone who heard about it was terrified. Then some young men got up, wrapped him in a sheet, and took him out and buried him.

About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. Peter asked her, “Was this the price you and your husband received for your land?”

“Yes,” she replied, “that was the price.”

And Peter said, “How could the two of you even think of conspiring to test the Spirit of the Lord like this? The young men who buried your husband are just outside the door, and they will carry you out, too.”

Instantly, she fell to the floor and died. When the young men came in and saw that she was dead, they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. Great fear gripped the entire church and everyone else who heard what had happened. —Acts 5:1–11

Fear, indeed, should be the reaction of anyone perpetrating dishonesty. God does not usually respond to lying by sending instant death. But lying is a form of deception that consistently earns His condemnation, for untruth interferes with justice and integrity in human relations.

One particular form of lying—perjury, or lying in a legal proceeding—made it into the Ten Commandments: “You must not testify falsely against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16).2 But both Testaments reflect how seriously God views the sin of lying. Consider this sampling:

Keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! —Psalm 34:13

I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence. —Psalm 101:7

A false witness will not go unpunished, nor will a liar escape. —Proverbs 19:5

Stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. —Ephesians 4:253

Don’t lie to each other. —Colossians 3:9

When we lie, we are not motivated by God but rather by His enemy. The Devil is the sponsor of untruth. Jesus testified that Satan “has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).

Reading all this, you may excuse your own dishonesty by calling it a “white lie”—a small, insignificant untruth that could not hurt a fly. Or, you may think you have escaped guilt through lying by implication instead of by telling a falsehood outright. And what about half-truths? Ananias and Sapphira discovered to their peril that a half-truth equates to a whole lie. Let us, then, always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We will be doing ourselves a favor.

The truth wants to be free. It has a way of escaping into daylight despite every attempt to keep it trapped under a lid—ask any politician who has tried to prevent a scandal from reaching public notice. Benjamin Franklin said, “A lie stands on one leg, truth on two.” In the plain words of Scripture, “Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed” (Proverbs 12:19). Just as God knows every time we counterfeit the truth, so other people usually find out as well.

The practice of lying can easily develop into a habit over time. But truth telling can become a habit too. If your character has suffered from truth decay, resolve with Job, “As long as I live,…my tongue will speak no lies” (Job 27:3–4).

Equally as serious as lying is another form of deception: hypocrisy, or pretending to be better than we are.

The Mask of Goodness

Some years ago I (Henry) taught a college-age Sunday school class. One young man in the class often said, “I am very devoted to the Lord. Because my body is the Lord’s, I want to take care of it. I don’t stay up late; I’m careful what I eat; I exercise regularly; and I don’t drink, smoke, or chase women.”

We all listened and nodded. “Good for you,” we would say.

Then one day, at an airport many miles from home, I saw this model student standing in front of the terminal building. Guess what? He had a cigar in his mouth and was puffing away as happy as could be. So much for taking good care of his body.

I walked up to chat with him. When he saw me coming, he did a strange thing. He stuck that cigar—still smoking—in his pocket!

Now, one would think that a young man would be glad to see his Sunday school teacher, especially so far from home. But the opposite was true in this case: my student seemed ill at ease and in a hurry to be off. A bit mischievously (that was my sin), I kept him talking as long as I could, until the smoke began curling up from his pocket.4

My student was a hypocrite. Are you? Do you act at church like your family gets along great, when in fact fighting is raging all the time at home? Do you pretend to have a profound relationship with God, when the truth is that your devotional life is about as substantial as a mirage? Do you let people assume that you are a highly moral being, even though you are sleeping with your boyfriend or girlfriend every weekend?

Hypocrisy is an add-on sin. If you are struggling with any other sin listed in this book, and then you lie about it through words or pretense, you have added hypocrisy to your burden of guilt. And even worse, if you have deluded yourself into believing that you are a godly person despite your sins, then you have let hypocrisy join hands with its favorite partner, self-righteousness.

Jesus reserved His harshest language for religious people who pretended to be holier than they were. Matthew 23, in fact, is one long diatribe against the Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Christ said of these religious leaders, “They don’t practice what they teach” and “Everything they do is for show” (verses 3, 5).

The Greek word used in the New Testament for “hypocrite” was originally applied to Greek and Roman actors. Following the convention of the day, these actors would play their parts while wearing large masks. In other words, the faces that theatergoers saw were not the real faces of the actors—those were hidden underneath.

So it is with hypocrites today: they put one face forward while hiding their real face from view. They “will act religious” but “reject the power that could make them godly” (2 Timothy 3:5). They “claim they know God” yet “deny Him by the way they live” (Titus 1:16).

Be honest about who you are. Authenticity puts you at a place where God may begin working with you to make things better. You might be surprised by how much people will still like you if you are honest about your failings. (There’s a good chance they can smell the cigar smoke rising from your pocket anyway!)

“Get rid of all evil behavior.” declared Peter. “Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy…” (1 Peter 2:1).

Hypocrisy is making yourself look better than you are. Flattery, on the other hand, is making others look better than they are. It is another form of deception.

Buttering Up

Darrin followed his boss into the conference room, and for a while the two of them were the only ones there.

“Is that a new jacket you’re wearing, Mr. Gardner?” asked Darrin. “It’s really stylish. I’d like to get one like that myself.” Actually, Darrin considered the pattern in the sport coat to be way too busy.

Darrin’s boss, Blaine Gardner, smiled and acknowledged the purchase of a new sport coat.

As Blaine started setting up his PowerPoint presentation, he passed the time by asking Darrin what Darrin thought about the proposal Blaine had circulated.

“It’s great, Mr. Gardner!” said Darrin, even though he and all of his coworkers really believed the proposal would be far more costly to implement than management realized. “I think this will give us the market share we’ve been aiming for.”

As Kirsten entered the room and overheard the final remarks, she rolled her eyes at Scott trailing behind her. Darrin was at it again, buttering up the boss.

The two-faced nature of deception is perhaps more evident in flattery than in any other form of deceit. Flattery is praising someone else untruthfully in the hope of gaining something by it, whether that gain is a promotion at work, mercy from a traffic cop, or even something as basic as attention from a friend. Flattery always has an ulterior motive.

Complimenting others is a neglected art form; we encourage praising the good in others. Flattery, however, goes beyond the honest compliment, using falsehood in an attempt to satisfy a selfish desire. As a result, it is destructive to relationships in the long run. “A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin” (Proverbs 26:28).

The apostle Paul set an example of refusing to stoop to flattery. He told the congregation in Thessalonica, “Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts. Never once did we try to win you with flattery, as you well know. And God is our witness that we were not pretending to be your friends just to get your money!” (1 Thessalonians 2:4–5).

Before praising another, stop and ask yourself: Is what I am planning to say true? Why do I want to say it? Taking time to evaluate your words carefully before saying them can help you keep your compliments within the bounds of truth. Your conscience will be your guide.

Your conscience will also guide you away from related forms of deception, fraud and cheating, if you will let it.

Unfair Advantage

Today, Frank W. Abagnale is sought after by governments and corporations as an expert on detecting forgery, embezzlement, and document falsification. But between the ages of sixteen and twenty-one, he was one of the world’s most successful con artists. He cashed $2.5 million in fraudulent checks in all fifty states and twenty-six foreign countries. He also successfully posed as an airline pilot, an attorney, a college professor, and a pediatrician before being apprehended by the French police. His life of crime was portrayed in the 2002 movie Catch Me If You Can.

Like Abagnale, some people are frauds, impostors, and cheats. These people are practicing some of the most self-serving forms of deceptions out there. They are obscuring the truth while trying to gain an advantage at another’s expense.

The problem of fraud in business came to public attention in recent years with a wave of corporate scandals. Enron’s Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were suspected of accounting fraud. WorldCom’s Bernard Ebbers was charged with securities fraud. Tyco boss Dennis Kozlowski was said to have used company money as his own. Such behaviors are hardly victimless crimes, as they have resulted in real losses to employees and small investors—not to mention the credibility of the US corporate world.

Do you think business fraud is a new problem? Think again. The Bible frequently takes on fraud in terms of businesspeople cheating their customers. For example, the prophet Amos railed against some of his fellow Israelites,

You can’t wait for the Sabbath day to be over and the religious festivals to end so you can get back to cheating the helpless. You measure out grain with dishonest measures and cheat the buyer with dishonest scales. And you mix the grain you sell with chaff swept from the floor. Then you enslave poor people for one piece of silver or a pair of sandals.—Amos 8:5–65

What’s so bad about fraud is that it frequently is a means for those with more wealth and power to oppress those who are less well-placed in society. God will always be on the side of the weak in such a situation.

Fraud is a perennial problem. Most are not committing fraud on the scale Amos mentions—or, certainly, on the scale of some modern-day CEOs lost to hubris. Instead, we commit fraud on the micro level. It goes by the label of “cheating.”

Tim Schutt, crew chief for NASCAR driver Mike McLaughlin, became a Christian during a retreat for members of the racing world and shortly afterward ran up against the temptation to cheat. McLaughlin’s car was not performing as Tim wished, and so Tim decided to add a small device that was outlawed by NASCAR. Tim justified his decision to himself on the basis that many of the cars McLaughlin would be up against already had the hard-to-detect device.

Tim crawled under McLaughlin’s No. 20 car and started to install the device. “I got halfway through putting it on,” recalled Tim, “and that verse ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God’ came flashing in red in front of me, and whoa, that was it. I said, ‘I’m leaving this up to you, God.’”6 Schutt did not install the device.

As it turned out, McLaughlin won his next race anyway. When we choose to go against the trend of society and refuse to cheat, the outcome may not always be as positive for us. We may, in fact, lose whatever contest lies before us. But if we put God and His will first, determining to follow the rules no matter what, then in His eyes we will be winners every time. That’s the virtue of honesty.

The Best Policy

In 1948, while on my way to my wedding with Vonette Zachary, I (Bill) passed through the city of Okmulgee, Oklahoma, where my grandparents had lived for many years. Suddenly, I remembered my need to purchase gifts for the wedding party, and I stopped at a jewelry store.

Before looking for the items I wanted, I asked the owner if he would cash an out-of-state check.

“I’m sorry, sir.” He shook his head courteously. “It’s against our policy.”

“I understand,” I said and turned to walk out of the store.

He called after me, “Do you know anyone in this city?”

“No. My grandfather used to live here, but he’s been dead for several years.”

“What was his name?”

“Sam Bright.”

“Sam Bright was the most honorable man I have ever known!” he exclaimed. “If you’re anything like your grandfather, I will sell you anything in this store. And I’ll take your check!”

I was moved by this experience. Although my grandfather had been gone for many years, he had left a legacy of integrity.

What legacy are we leaving? What reputation are we building for ourselves? One act of deceit can make others distrust us. A pattern of deceit is hard to overcome. But with God’s help, any deceiver can begin to establish new patterns of honesty.

Shortly before his execution by the Nazis, the theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer looked to the future. He said, “What the church will  need, what our century will need, are not people of genius, not brilliant tacticians or strategists, but simple, straightforward, honest men and women.” If anything, these words are more relevant today than at the time of World War II.

We deceive because we are worried about what will happen to us if we choose to tell the truth. What we find, though, is that when we practice deceit we disappoint God, chip away at our own self-respect, and run the risk of a worse reaction from others when they find out the truth later. The proper response is to trust God to care for us as we honor His command to be truth tellers. There is, in fact, no peace to be had without truth.

A. W. Tozer said, “A guileless mind is a great treasure; it is worth any price.” Are you willing to pay the price? It means forgoing the easy payoffs that deceit can seem to bring, choosing instead the slow and steady dividends of making your word your bond.

Give up the too-easy and too-costly habit of deceit. Embrace instead the policy of honesty at all times.

Soul Prescription for Deceit

Are you struggling with being deceitful in some way? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

God is truth. To view Him in any other way will only serve to justify your deceitful behavior.

• God is absolute truth. He cannot lie and He does not change His standards.
  God is not a man, so He does not lie.—Numbers 23:19
• God is righteous, and He abhors dishonesty in every form.
  Because what you say is false and your visions are a lie, I will stand against you, says the Sovereign LORD. —Ezekiel 13:8

What is your view of God with respect to honesty and dishonesty? Go to Scripture and review every passage that talks about God’s truthfulness. Don’t fool yourself. God will not tolerate lies and deceitfulness.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

If you believe that your deceitfulness is justified or excusable for any reason, you are wrong. Perhaps mistaken views of yourself, other people, or how life works are making it harder for you to be truthful.

• Do you believe your “little white lies” do no harm?
  Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow.—Proverbs 25:18
• Do you believe others are yours to “use”?
  Do to others as you would like them to do to you. —Luke 6:31
• Do you believe the end justifies the means and thus makes your deceitfulness okay?
  Stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. —Ephesians 4:25

Use scriptural truth about deceitfulness and honesty to expose errors in your thinking. Ask the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of truth, to help you first understand the truth and then speak the truth to others.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

In what way are you deceitful? Identify it specifically. Then if you are prepared to give up this sin, pray a prayer of confession. A model prayer is presented below for your use, or you can pray in your own words.

God of truth, I have been deceitful by _________. This was a sin against You, and I am sorry for it. Please forgive me. Make me clean again, and fill me with Your power to help me remain clean of deceitfulness from this point on. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Your spiritual enemies—the world, the flesh, and the Devil—would like nothing better than to see you backslide into a pattern of deceitfulness. Beware of their wiles!

• The world system does not value honesty the way God does. The world’s values would tell us to use deceitfulness if it will help us get ahead. We can overcome such an influence by immersing ourselves in God’s value system. Develop the importance He places on honesty.
• Your flesh, or sinful nature, will tempt you to enjoy that self-reliant feeling that comes with trying to manipulate events through deceit. Do not give in to the craving! Your flesh is dead. You are a spiritual being now, living according to the Holy Spirit.
• Satan will make it as easy and as appealing for you to deceive others as possible. Put on the “belt of truth” (Ephesians 6:14) to help you discern true from false and remain committed to truth telling.

Be ever vigilant in defense against your spiritual foes. The attacks will not cease. Accessing the great power of God will empower you to be successful in every battle.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

You will never be able to completely avoid the temptation to return to your old deceitful ways. But there are specific steps you can take to reduce your exposure and susceptibility to temptation.

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  Spend time regularly cultivating your relationship with God. In particular, make Bible study a consistent discipline in your life. Constant exposure to the truth will make you a more truthful person.
• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Identify assurances in Scripture that make you more confident of winning over your sin of deceitfulness. Store assurances away in your mind as ammunition when the battle with temptation comes.
• God has given both His promise and His oath.
  These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to Him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. —Hebrews 6:18
• Establish safeguards. 
  Why not make holiness as easy for yourself as possible?
  Think of ways you can cut off common temptations. Here are examples of the kinds of changes you can make for the better:

• If you cheat on your taxes, hire a tax preparer next year and make all your records available to this person

• If you defraud your employer by falsifying your time sheet, ask a friend on your work team to verify its accuracy each week.
• If you naturally resort to flattery, practice ahead of time what you can say in favor of a person without lying.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not deceive others.
  
• Expect victory. 
  You are a new person in Christ Jesus. The Holy Spirit lives in you. He wants to create an honest heart in you. Seek His help as you eliminate deceit and adopt honesty in your life. As long as you are cooperating with Him, you cannot lose! Praise God!

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

Visitors to Castle Ward, a country estate near Strangford Lough in Ireland, are treated to the sight of a house divided against itself, literally. One façade is in the classical style, while the other is in the Gothic style. This difference in design extends to the interior of the house, where the rooms that were most frequented by females are adventurously decorated and the male preserves are more conservative and conventional. 

The architectural discord is due to a difference of opinion between Bernard Ward (later Viscount Bangor) and his wife, Lady Anne Bligh, at the time the house was under construction in the 1760s. Apparently the couple could not agree on a single style for their new house that would suit them both, so they “agreed to disagree.” The house bears the marks of their disagreement to this day.

Like Lord and Lady Bangor, some people today have a history of being involved in disagreements. From fistfights on the playground to power plays in the office to arguments on a church committee, they are known for being at odds with others. They are quarrelsome, critical, and divisive.

In listing the acts of the sinful nature in Galatians 5, Paul included “divisions” and “the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group” (verse 20). He was describing what goes on in a body of people when its members don’t agree. This is a type of “home divided against itself” and “kingdom at war with itself” (Matthew 12:25).

The sin of divisiveness raised its head early on among Paul’s new congregation at Corinth. At one point in a letter to them, Paul had to say, “Now, dear brothers and sisters, I appeal to you by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ to stop arguing among yourselves.”

I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. For some members of Chloe’s household have told me about your quarrels, my dear brothers and sisters. Some of you are saying, “I am a follower of Paul.” Others are saying, “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Peter,” or “I follow only Christ.” Has Christ been divided into factions? Was I, Paul, crucified for you? Were any of you baptized in the name of Paul? Of course not! —1 Corinthians 1:10–13

Divisiveness can be a problem in any type of team or group. But in a church group, particularly, unity is essential to bearing fruit. It is as we are all in one accord that we move ahead, under the Spirit’s direction, to the future that God has for us. God bids us, as much as it is possible, to “live in peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). 

When an individual is picking a fight with someone else or setting one part of a group against another, he or she is at fault before God and the body.

Are you uncertain about whether this sin habit of divisiveness describes you? Keep your mind open as we look at different kinds of quarreling and ways of using words that lead to division.

The Monster of Strife

In a fable called “Hercules and Pallas,” Aesop told a story that is instructive for people who find themselves embroiled in conflict.

It seems that Hercules, journeying along a narrow roadway, came across a strange-looking animal that reared its head and threatened him. Undaunted, the hero gave the animal a few powerful blows with his club.

Hercules would then have gone on his way. But much to his astonishment, the monster grew three times as big as it was before and appeared still more threatening.

The hero redoubled his blows, striking fast and furiously at the monster. But the harder and quicker came the strokes of his club, the bigger and more frightful grew the monster. It now completely filled the road.

Just then Pallas appeared upon the scene. “Stop, Hercules. Cease your blows,” she said. “The monster’s name is Strife. Leave it alone, and it will soon become as little as it was at first.”

Of course, every Aesop fable has its moral. What do you suppose is this one’s? “Strife feeds on conflict.”

Some people seem to have a knack for contributing to a conflict so that strife grows and grows. Maybe it is starting shouting matches with family members. Maybe it is alienating friends by talking about them behind their back. Maybe it is creating divisions in teams and groups. In any case, such people have a problem that calls for more than learning better social behavior; it is really a sin habit we are talking about.

These people need to know that in fact they are involved in a complex of sins. Certainly, sins of any sort rarely if ever stand on their own. But fighting, in particular, is a sin that tends to company with others of its kind. Sins like anger, bitterness, and envy often erupt into visibility by means of the sin of quarreling. The apostle James explored this interaction of fighting and other sins.

“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you?” James asked a contentious bunch of early Christians. And then he answered his own question. “Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it” (James 4:1–2).

Due to the serious nature of its causes, conflict between individuals can be severe and bitter. And the closer the two people are, the more bitter the conflicts may become. This was well illustrated for me (Henry) in a true story about a man named Bert told to me by my friend Tim Daley.

Brotherly Hate

Bert was a Christian man and a successful insurance agent who had other agents working for him. Among these other agents was Bert’s older brother, Allan, whom Bert had taken on with some trepidation because of the strain their working arrangement might put on their relationship. The trepidation Bert had felt proved to be prophetic.

All was fine at first, but then Allan refused to comply with some new procedures Bert established for all his agents to follow. Over the period of a full year, the two brothers had many strained and heated conversations about the issue. Finally, one day when they were throwing verbal bricks at each other, Allan cleaned out his office and left.

Feeling badly about what had happened, Bert called his brother on the phone a few days later. The verbal barrage started up again and ended only when Bert hung up on Allan. He was livid with rage.

There was no contact between the two for a month. Meanwhile, Bert consulted with biblical counselor Tim Daley about the situation.

After listening intently to the story, Tim leaned forward and said to Bert, “You are a bitter, angry man. The way you talked to your brother is unacceptable as a Christian example. You need to repent and then apologize to your brother for your bad attitude. You will not find peace until you do.”

Bert was not prepared for that response. He was expecting some reassurance that he was justified in his response because of the problem Allan had created. Nevertheless, he pondered Tim’s advice.

At first Bert did nothing. He was afraid to call his brother and did not want to admit he was wrong. In the end, though, he admitted his sin to God and asked to be cleansed and empowered to love his brother. To his surprise, his resistance to calling Allan turned into an urge to see him.

Bert managed to overcome Allan’s reluctance and arranged a twenty-minute meeting. At the appointed time, as Bert looked at his brother, he sensed nothing but compassion for him in his heart; all the bitterness was gone. He proceeded to apologize for the attitude he’d had toward Allan and asked forgiveness. Both brothers had tears in their eyes.

Later, Bert would say to my friend Tim that at that moment it was as though a two-hundred-pound weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

As we see in the case of Bert and Allan, the unrighteous use of words plays a major role in our conflicts with others. Words can be tools to build up or they can be weapons to destroy.

Words as Weapons

Interpersonal conflict usually occurs because of, and by means of, the words we use. “Harsh words make tempers flare” (Proverbs 15:1). With words, we quarrel, argue, and dispute. With words, we gossip, slander, and smear. With words, we mock and ridicule, taunt and deride. With words, we criticize and judge and curse and condemn. Certainly your authors can look back on times when we wish we could have taken back words we had spoken—but that’s never possible.

The apostle James was right in saying that the tongue has a destructive power far beyond what its small size might suggest.

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. —James 3:3–6

We sometimes use our tongue like a weapon, to hurt and to maim others. Even if a part of us realizes that what we are doing is wrong, we cannot seem to stop ourselves. The tongue at such times seems wild, unmanageable.

James, again, told us what this is like. “People can tame all kinds of animals and birds and reptiles and fish,” he said, “but no one can tame the tongue.”

People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! —James 3:7–10

Have you tried and failed to tame your tongue? If you have a divisiveness habit, it is almost guaranteed that you have a tongue like a poisonous snake that has gotten loose from its cage. The people nearby had better watch out!

You had better watch out too if you are prone to saying wicked things. Jesus explained, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak” (Matthew 12:35–36).

Two of the chief ways people hurt others are by gossiping about them and by slandering them.

Telling Tales

One need only look at entertainment news to see how much we, as a society, love to know details from the lives of celebrities and other public figures—and the more intimate the detail, the better we like it. A similar dynamic is at work in our lives when we put gossip into circulation, or pass it on secondhand, and when we shoot out slander like a dart full of poison.

Gossip is passing around tales of an intimate nature about another. An example is telling Marilyn in Accounts Receivable that Phil in Marketing has separated from his wife. Slander, on the other hand, is telling a deliberate falsehood about someone else that damages that person’s reputation. Here an example would be claiming that Phil has been embezzling from the company, when in fact he has not. Both forms of talebearing are wrong.

If the tongue is a flame of destruction set on fire by hell itself, as James said, this is certainly true in the case of gossip. “Scoundrels create trouble; their words are a destructive blaze” (Proverbs 16:27).

Ramona Cramer Tucker tells a story about a friend of hers named Michelle, who learned too late the danger of gossip.

While at a restaurant over lunch, Michelle and her coworker, Sharon, stopped in the restroom to fix their makeup before returning to their jobs. Their small talk turned to the subject of who drove them crazy. Immediately Michelle launched into a two-minute diatribe about Beth, a mutual coworker. As Michelle prepared to divulge more specifics, a stall door opened. Out walked Beth, red-faced and angry.

In a split second, what had seemed like a pressure-relief session turned into an awkward mess. Michelle and Beth stared at each other in embarrassed panic. Michelle knew she couldn’t take her words back. In the instant their eyes met, Beth fled out the door. That afternoon, Beth didn’t return to work, and the next day Michelle heard through the grapevine that Beth had resigned.1

Michelle did not know Beth was listening and had no idea her words would have such an effect. But it does not matter. She should have been watching what she said about Beth anyway.

Gossip proceeds from an unkind spirit. Since gossip is rarely about something that reflects positively on another, passing it on may be an exercise in taking delight in another’s error or misfortune. The desire to gossip is often connected with other sins, such as idleness, gloating, and a desire for advantage (possessing information makes one powerful).

The book of Proverbs reveals some of the wicked consequences of gossip.

Gossip makes people mad. “As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!” —Proverbs 25:23

Gossip prolongs arguments. “Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.”—Proverbs 26:20

Gossip ruins relationships. “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.”—Proverbs 16:28

A Welsh saying states, “a gossip’s mouth is the Devil’s mailbag.” May none of us deliver any mail postmarked “Hell.”

As devilish as gossip is, talebearing crosses a line to a new level of seriousness when it becomes slander.

God’s position on slander is clear enough. “Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people,” He said (Leviticus 19:16). “I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors” (Psalm 101:5). “Get rid of all…harsh words, and slander” (Ephesians 4:31).

Christians tell harmful untruths about others more often than we would like to believe. Usually they are motivated by hate, jealousy, or a thirst for revenge. We can be certain that something has gone seriously wrong in the spirit of a Christ follower who slanders another, especially if the slander is part of an ongoing pattern of behavior.

A. B. Simpson, an evangelical leader from a century back, spoke words we would be wise to take to heart today. He said, “I would rather play with the forked lightning, or take in my hands living wires with their fiery current, than speak a reckless word against any servant of Christ, or idly repeat the slanderous darts which thousands of Christians are hurling on others, to the hurt of their own souls and bodies.”

But gossip and slander are not the only ways to hurt others with words. Criticism and judgmentalism are two more.

Destructive Speech

Russian theologian Alexander Schmemann and his fiancée were sitting in a Paris Métro subway train when a badly dressed and unattractive old woman got on and sat down across from them. Speaking in Russian, the couple began to talk about her and to laugh about her appearance, assuming all the while that she could not understand what they were saying. As the train pulled up to a station, though, the woman stopped in front of them and said in perfect Russian, “But I was not always so old or so ugly.” Then without another word, she stepped onto the station platform, never to be seen by the couple again.

Schmemann reported later that he was not only shocked that he and his fiancée had been understood by the woman, but worse, he was shocked to realize that he, a follower of Christ, had so easily dehumanized another and ripped away some of her few remaining shreds of dignity. He was driven to confession before the Lord.

Criticism is a kind of speech that tears down; it is not an expression of love that wants to build the other up. One biblical proverbialist said, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven” (Proverbs 17:9). The apostle Paul warned, “If you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another” (Galatians 5:15).

Do you find fault with others? Do you point out their mistakes? Do you tease them about their weaknesses? Then remember what Paul said: “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them” (Ephesians 4:29).

If your criticism is tinged with self-righteousness, then you are likely guilty of judgmentalism. This is finding fault with others specifically about their spiritual or moral condition. The New Testament is consistent in saying that God alone has the ability and right to judge others’ standing before Him.

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, “Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,” when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. —Matthew 7:1–5

Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor? —James 4:11–12

If you see something that appears wrong in the spiritual life of another, do not presume that it is your job to flag the error for others. Instead, use it as a reminder that you need to examine yourself for similar flaws. Learn not to create conflict in this way but to set an example of harmony.

Learning to Get Along

In his modern classic, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, author J. R. R. Tolkien tells the story of nine individuals who band together as “the fellowship of the Ring” to thwart the plans of the evil Sauron. In the course of their harrowing adventures, the nine often quarrel and disagree with one another—elf against dwarf, men against hobbits. But in the end, the fellowship holds together sufficiently for the group to succeed in rescuing Middle-earth from the perilous power of the Ring.

Tolkien was a Christian, and so maybe he had the church in the back of his mind as he developed his conception of the fellowship of the Ring. We are to be that body of people who overcome the human tendencies to fracture and fragment, such that others will look at us and know us by our “love for one another” (John 13:35). This goes even for Christians who have an ingrained habit of fighting with others.

What was on Jesus’ mind when whip, thorn, and nail were just hours away? Among other things, He was concerned about you and me getting along with each other. In His words to the Father, He said, “I pray that they will all be one, just as You and I are one—as You are in Me, Father, and I am in You. And may they be in us so that the world will believe You sent Me” (John 17:21).

Such unity and harmony are not ours just by choosing them; they are possible only through supernatural enabling. When Christ departed this world, He left behind the Holy Spirit to live in us and work in our hearts. He softens our hearts toward one another and quells our tendency toward conflict. For this reason, Paul could say, “Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace” (Ephesians 4:3).

As we work through the soul-healing process, we should be seeking the virtue of harmony with others to take the place that was once filled by conflict. Our final word on the subject to you, then, is the same as that of the apostle Paul: “Live in harmony with each other” (Romans 12:16).

Soul Prescription for Divisiveness

Are you struggling with a habit of being divisive? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

When we are constant sources of conflict and strife, it is obvious that we are not truly seeing God for who He is. What aspects of your view of God may be influencing your conflict problem? The points listed below will help you begin the process of self-analysis.

• God is love; there is no place in His kingdom for conflict.
  We don’t need to write to you about the importance of loving each other, for God Himself has taught you to love one another. —1 Thessalonians 4:2
• God is merciful and He expects us to show mercy to others.
  Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. —Ephesians 4:2

When you view God as a loving and merciful being, you will respond in like manner to those around you. Undertake a survey on the Bible’s passages on God’s peaceable nature. Tools such as a concordance and a topical Bible can help you in this task.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

What erroneous beliefs do you have that justify your combative spirit? Chances are, you have some false beliefs about yourself, about other people, and about how life works. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you believe you must always correct others when they are wrong?
  Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out. —Proverbs 17:14
• Do you believe you have the right to say spiteful things about others because of something they have said about you?
  Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. —Romans 12:18

Continue your Bible study by examining what Scripture says about harmony and unity. As you do so, reconsider your beliefs, acknowledged or unspoken, that may have helped turn you into a fighter. Conform your thinking to God’s truth.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

What type of conflict are you engaged in? Is it gossip? Quarreling? Judgmentalism? Something else? Identify it specifically.

After admitting your sin to yourself, admit it to God. Pray the following prayer of repentance (or pray in your own words):

God, I am guilty of _________. It is sin, and I am sorry for it. Please forgive me for being a person of conflict and strife. Cleanse me of that sin, I pray. Then grant me some of Your power to keep from participating in conflict the next time the potential arises. And the next. And the next. In Christ’s name, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Beware the world, the flesh, and the Devil, who will want to goad you into fighting again. They want nothing better than to see you contradict your repentance by returning to a pattern of conflict. Do not be naive about these foes!

• In God’s eyes, harmony among people is a high value. In the world system, though, conflict is seen as a way of getting what you want. Watch out for worldly values that would justify your sinful tendency toward conflict. Overcome the world by rejecting its values.
• God honors those who control their desires to say and do things that divide people. Your flesh, or sinful nature, however, still enjoys the feeling of power that comes from mixing it up with people. Do not forget that the sinful nature has been crucified and that you do not have to give in to its desires. Give in to the Spirit instead.
• God provides a way out of every situation where you would be tempted to spread strife. Satan, on the other hand, gladly points out each opportunity you have to fight, gossip, and judge. Resist his schemes with the “shoes of peace” and the rest of the spiritual armor (see Ephesians 6:10–18).

Remain alert to any temptation that would draw you back into your sin of conflict. Seek the resources offered by God to defend against the attacks when they come. Those resources are more than enough to beat back all attacks.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

If you do not want to give in to the temptation of conflict, get away from it as fast as you can!

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  You get into conflict when you focus on what others have done to upset you. So instead, keep your focus on God and His peace-loving nature. Learn to jump right into prayer when a situation arises that makes you want to fight.
• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Find encouraging words in the Scriptures that you can learn from and memorize for times when you are inclined to jump into the fray. Psalm 133 is one eligible passage.

How wonderful and pleasant it is 
when brothers live together in harmony.
For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil 
that was poured over Aaron’s head, 
that ran down his beard and 
onto the border of his robe.
Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon 
that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And the Lord has pronounced his blessing, 
even life everlasting.

• Establish safeguards. 
  Are there certain things that trigger your tendency to sin through conflict? Of course there are. Take practical precautions to avoid those triggering situations. These are the kinds of things you can try:

• If you like to gossip, avoid people who pass on juicy tidbits to you in the first place.
• If you start arguments when your spouse criticizes something in your behavior, try harder to meet his or her expectations.
• If you joined a committee and seem to always be the center of conflict, resign the committee.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not participate in conflict.

• Expect victory. 

Every day is a new day. Though you may have slipped into conflict regularly in the past, you can now become a peacemaker with the help of the Prince of Peace. Thank God in advance for the victory He will give.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

In 1967, the ministry that Vonette and I (Bill) had started years earlier, Campus Crusade for Christ, was running smoothly and expanding steadily. But trouble was brewing on the inside. A half dozen regional directors had become disappointed with me as the CEO, and one day in October, they asked for a meeting with me. I agreed to hear them out. 

These men had no complaints about my character or ethics. But they did have criticism to offer about my leadership style and philosophy and even one or two points of my theology. Furthermore, they thought my skills were not adequate for the challenges our ministry was then facing. In consequence, they asked me to resign.

I loved these men—I did then and I do now. I had poured myself into them. I trusted them. So what they were saying was shocking to me. But it was as though God wrapped a protective shield around me. I did not feel as if I had to react out of anger, and I was able to listen to them patiently.

Finally I said, “Let’s talk about this. I’ve got blind spots just like anybody else, and I’m very sorry I’ve disappointed you.”

But then I added, “Gentlemen, there’s one thing you need to know: Vonette and I started this movement by ourselves with the Lord. By the end of the day, there may be only the two of us left, but we started Campus Crusade for Christ and we will continue to direct it. God gave me this vision, and I’m going to be faithful to that vision.”

When the meeting was over, I did not know what would happen. Perhaps my critics would be successful in pushing me out of my position. But what really happened was that, over the next several months, the six disaffected regional directors all left Campus Crusade voluntarily.

Over the years since then, most of these former Crusade leaders have apologized to me. Meanwhile, I took steps to encourage constructive criticism within the organization’s leadership structure. I matured as a result of this experience, and so did Campus Crusade.

One thing I learned from this episode, though, was just how painful rebellion can be. By God’s choice, I was in charge of the ministry, and it was deeply hurtful to me when my subordinates would not accept my authority. I felt personally attacked and I was concerned that my position had been weakened.

The fact is that in life there are authority structures. In governments, in businesses, in churches, in homes, some people are leaders over others. In different situations, indeed, each of us is a follower and a leader. Except in certain limited situations, to reject or undermine properly instituted authority is to rebel against the order God has established in human society.

Some people seem to be rebels and dissenters by nature. Using either passive or aggressive tactics (maybe both), they seek to overthrow the authority that others have over them. Obeying rankles with them, and so they do it as little as possible.

If this describes your behavior, you have a sin habit requiring repentance before God. Consider the types of rebellion as we describe them, keeping in mind the question Am I willing to begin the healing process for my sin habit of rebellion?

Rebellion at Home

Mary had rebelled against the preaching of her father, a godly pastor. This young woman lived with her boyfriend in open defiance of the biblical teaching she had received. She thought her new lifestyle would bring her happiness. Quickly, though, she became filled with hatred and resentment. When a mutual friend brought Mary to my office for counsel, I (Bill) had to explain that she was going through difficult times because she had rebelled against God and her father.

Mary and many others like her have violated the fifth commandment: “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12). This is one way rebellion can upset the natural order God has established in a family. It always produces harm, as in Mary’s case. Compliance with the commandment, on the other hand, results in blessing.

The apostle Paul said as much when he reaffirmed the fifth commandment for Christian families.

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” —Ephesians 6:1–31

Even when we are grown up, we still have a responsibility to honor (though not necessarily obey) our parents. As adults, we can honor our parents by forgiving them when they have wronged us, respecting their God-given position, caring for their needs, and loving them.2 To refuse to do these things is to rebel against the order God has established between the generations of a family.

Another type of rebellion that can upset the family order is a lack of submission by a wife to her husband. We know this is a controversial subject these days. And most certainly we would not want wifely submission to be interpreted to mean that the wife becomes a doormat for her husband. But at the same time, we affirm the unequivocal teaching of Scripture.

For wives, this means submit your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of His body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. —Ephesians 5:22–243

Though men and women are equal in importance, dignity, and ability, as well as in their relationship to God, He has granted to husbands the leadership in the home. As with all types of Christian leadership, however, the husband’s leadership in the home is a servant leadership—he is to seek to understand his wife, meet her needs, and express love to her. Assuming she fulfills her duty of respecting her husband, their roles produce a complementary relationship between the two that ideally enables each to reach his or her full potential.

If there is discord between a husband and wife, the problem might be a failure in his leadership. But it also might be a failure in her followership. Some wives have fallen into a pattern of balking at their husbands’ initiative, whittling away at their husbands’ dignity, or openly scoffing at what the men suggest. This is rebellion within marriage, and it is wrong.

Paul used different words in his instructions to children and wives: children are to “obey” their parents, while wives are to “submit” to their husbands.4 This difference reflects the fact that wives are equals with their husbands, whereas children are clearly subordinate to their parents.

Husbands and fathers also have a responsibility to model submission and obedience to God and other authorities in their life.

What example are they setting for their family? Do they demonstrate a desire to follow God wholeheartedly and live according to His ordained authority structure? If a man is living in rebellion, it is much more difficult for his wife to be submissive or his children to be obedient.

Rebellion can do much harm. Our families would not be in the sorry state they are in today if all of us would understand and fulfill our family roles better.

The same could be said for our churches.

Rebellion at Church

Arguably, 2 Corinthians is the most painful book of the New Testament to read. In these pages we listen to the anguish of a faithful apostle who was forced to defend his God-given position of authority over the church he had founded in Corinth, a city of Greece.

Some teachers had arrived in Corinth and were criticizing Paul in his absence. We are not sure who they were or exactly what they were teaching, but by reading between the lines we can conclude that these other leaders were accusing Paul of having inadequate authority, not being trustworthy, embezzling offerings, and being a braggart in his letters but a coward in person. Sadly, many of the Corinthian believers who should have known better were nodding along with these charges.

Paul wrote 2 Corinthians to defend himself. In it he said that he had been given a special call to be an apostle, as evidenced by how he had suffered for Christ. He had always taught the Corinthians the truth and acted in a selfless, aboveboard manner toward them. Given these truths, he deserved respect as their spiritual father. “We are not reaching beyond these boundaries when we claim authority over you,” said Paul, “for we were the first to travel all the way to Corinth with the Good News of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:14).

We do not know exactly how matters turned out within the congregation at Corinth, but since they preserved Paul’s letters, they presumably continued to hold him in some esteem.

What about in our churches today? Can the leaders count on the cooperation of the rest of the members? Let’s say an elder board senses that God wants to do new things through the congregation by refocusing their efforts. Will the members go along with the changes, or will they cling to outmoded programs they have grown too comfortable with? Or consider a case where Dale is selected as teacher of the adult Sunday school class instead of Marvin. Will Marvin be a supporter of Dale’s efforts, or will he make it subtly known that he would have done a better job?

Certainly if church leaders are teaching false doctrine, we must try to correct their error. Or if we think they are making a strategic mistake, we may choose to raise the issue in an appropriate forum. But those are exceptions. The rule should be that all of us cooperate with those whom God has placed in positions of authority over us in the church. This rule is consistently taught in Scripture.

“Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say,” ordered the writer to the Hebrews. “Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit” (Hebrews 13:17).

Paul told the Thessalonians, “Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work” (1 Thessalonians 5:12–13).

The young pastor Titus had a heart filled with love when the Corinthians “obeyed him and welcomed him with such fear and deep respect” (2 Corinthians 7:15). Our church leaders will feel the same toward us as we honor them for their shepherding over us.

A cooperative spirit seems appropriate to many when it comes to the church. But what about in secular society, particularly in that sphere of life where many of us spend so much of our time: our jobs?

Rebellion at Work

You have probably seen framed posters that feature beautiful nature images and inspirational slogans designed to motivate workers. But did you know that there is a line of products parodying these posters by inverting their messages? One company produces posters, notepads, and the like that feature beautiful pictures paired with cynical statements.

One poster features a tiger lying sleepily on a tree branch. The slogan says, “It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.”

Another poster shows one hand passing a racer’s baton to another. The slogan here? “The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.”

A third poster displays an eagle soaring above a mountain. “Leaders are like eagles. We don’t have either of them here.”5

We can laugh at such spoofs. And certainly these products expose some of the follies of the modern workplace. But imagine that you are a boss trying to do the best for your company, and then one day an employee of yours puts up a poster in his cubicle declaring, “Leaders are like eagles. We don’t have either of them here.” What would that do to your motivation?

Workplace insubordination comes in many forms. Sometimes it consists of flagrant backstabbing. Just as Judas betrayed Jesus to His enemies, so some employees will set their bosses up to take a fall. Perhaps they see it as a way of getting revenge or as aiding their own climb up the ladder.

Other times insubordination is more subtle (but just as serious). Resisting change, criticizing the boss behind his back, dragging one’s heels, neglecting to comply with the details of a plan, sabotaging an unpopular project—these and more are forms of rebellion against authority in the workplace. And these are unacceptable behaviors for Christians.

The Golden Rule applies here as in all interpersonal relationships: treat others as you would want them to treat you. And in fact, one day you may be elevated to the position that your boss now holds. How will you want your employees to react to you then? Set an example of cooperation with company leadership now.

The apostle Paul wrote on this subject to some early Christians who were slaves. While the slave/master relationship does not exactly parallel our modern employee/employer relationship, Paul’s words are nevertheless instructive to those of us with jobs today.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. —Ephesians 6:5–86

That’s the opposite of demotivating, isn’t it? If you have been insubordinate on the job, replace “slaves” with “employees” and “masters” with “bosses,” then make Paul’s words your motto to live by.

But there is still one more major realm of life in which we must consider the dangers of rebellion: our role as citizens of the land.

Rebellion in Society

During the period when Moses was leading the Hebrews in the Sinai desert, a tribal leader named Korah instigated a rebellion with 250 other Hebrew leaders. These men approached Moses and his brother, Aaron, and asked them, “What right do you have to act as though you are greater than the rest of the LORD’s people?” (Numbers 16:3).

Here was the authentic voice of rebellion. It has been echoed down through the ages as individuals, with whatever mixture of selfish and altruistic motives, have sought to take away the power of those in authority over them in the community. Sometimes they are successful; sometimes they are not. In the case of Korah versus Moses, God passed sentence by opening up the earth to swallow the conspirators. It seems God did not appreciate it when people tried to replace the leader He had picked.

But few of us would ever consider starting a coup. We are more likely to register our disappointment in our civil leaders by criticizing, whining, and complaining. That happened in ancient Israel too. “The whole congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness” (Exodus 16:2 kjv). The King James version uses the word “murmur” that fits the noise we collectively make when we grumble about what is happening in government instead of taking constructive steps for change—or just holding our tongue.

We can learn an important lesson from the case of the “murmuring” Hebrews. As the apostle Paul wrote, “Don’t grumble as some of them did, and then were destroyed by the angel of death. These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age” (1 Corinthians 10:10–11).7

The New Testament is quite definite on the point that Christians are to be obedient to civil authorities. The clearest exposition of this point occurs in the letter to the Romans, where Paul said, “Obey the government, for God is the one who put it there.”

Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.

Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority. —Romans 13:1–78

Paul was writing about the government in Rome. The Roman Empire, while being an agent of civil order in many ways, had nevertheless forcibly occupied many of its neighboring lands, including the Holy Land. Israel had no more chance of being allowed its independence than an Eastern Bloc nation had of being set free by the Soviet Union at the height of the Cold War. Paul himself would eventually be executed by officers of the Roman government.

This shows us that we must not wait for our government to be all that we wish before we will give it our proper obedience as citizens. Even if our leaders are less than perfect (and who is not?), we should show respect to them. David offers us a beautiful example of this.

When David was a young man, the king of Israel, Saul, became jealous of David and wanted to kill him. Though David had done nothing wrong, he had to go on the run. At one point while Saul was searching the wilderness for David, the younger man had an opportunity to assassinate the king. But he did not do it. He even felt badly about his decision to cut off a piece of Saul’s robe. “The LORD knows I shouldn’t have done that to my lord the king,” he said to his men. “The LORD forbid that I should do this to my lord the king and attack the LORD’s anointed one, for the LORD Himself has chosen him” (1 Samuel 24:6). Even after Saul died in battle and David himself became king, David continued to honor his predecessor’s memory.

Our first reaction to any requirement placed upon us by duly instituted authorities in our society should be to obey. As Jesus Himself said, we should “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar” (Matthew 22:21). Caesar was head of the much-hated Roman government.

Of course, Jesus also said, “Everything that belongs to God must be given to God.” What does that mean for us?

Rebellion Against God

Rebellion against human authority figures is always rebellion against God in an indirect sense because it means refusing to accept the order He has established. But there is also such a thing as direct rebellion against God. Some people refuse to obey His commands in Scripture or His individual leading in their lives.

The truth is, the most unhappy people in the world are not unbelievers, many of whom are ignorantly and blissfully happy in their sin, albeit temporarily; the most unhappy people in the world are Christians who resist the will of God for their lives. The Christian who refuses to do the will of God must be prepared to pay the price of disobedience. “You will always harvest what you plant” (Galatians 6:7).

A man in Sweden stubbornly resisted God’s call to ministry, even through the death of his wife and daughter. He went into business and prospered, only to be robbed by his own son. In his older years, he languished with cancer. He said, “I know that I am saved, but, oh, the loss, for I know that I soon will be ushered into His presence only to give an account of a whole life of disobedience.”

Did this man really know Christ? Consider the Bible’s words:

And we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments. If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did. —1 John 2:3–6

Whether the Swedish man was a true Christian or not, we can say we have never met a happy disobedient Christian or an unhappy obedient one.

R. A. Torrey, a famous educator and evangelist, told the story of a woman who came to him and said she did not believe in the Bible anymore. When he asked her why, she replied, “Because I have tried its promises and found them untrue. The Bible says, ‘Whatsoever ye ask believing, ye shall receive.’ Well, I fully expected to get things from God in prayer, but I did not receive them, so the promise failed.”

Dr. Torrey then turned her to 1 John 3:22: “We will receive from Him whatever we ask because we obey Him and do the things that please Him.” Then he said, “Were you keeping His commandments and doing those things pleasing in His sight?”

She confessed she was not.

Her trouble was not that the Bible’s promises were not true; it was her own disobedience that was the problem. May that never be the case with any of us. As the fifteenth-century religious writer Thomas à Kempis is said to have prayed every day, let us say to God, “As Thou wilt; what Thou wilt; when Thou wilt.”

This brings us to an interesting question. What do we do when our obedience to God would seem to conflict with our obedience to human authority figures? Is it ever acceptable to disobey earthly authority, whether that be of government, business, church, or home?

Disobedience—When and How

Certainly our normal response to authority should be obedience. But if a human leader is calling us to do something that would require us to disobey God, then we can and should refuse to obey the human leader. Actually, in such a case, we are still being obedient, only it is to the higher authority (God) when there is a conflict with a lesser authority (some human leader).

We see a clear example of this in the history of the early church. When Peter and the other apostles were hauled up before the Jewish high council, the Sanhedrin, for preaching about Jesus after they had been told not to, they boldly declared to the council members, “We must obey God rather than any human authority” (Acts 5:29). Complying with the Sanhedrin’s restriction would have meant violating the Great Commission, given to them by Jesus not long before. That the disciples could not do.

Neither can we disobey God in order to obey someone else.

• If a parent urges his teenager to cheat on a test, the teen should say no.
• If a husband suggests that he and his wife watch a pornographic movie “to spice things up,” she should refuse.
• If a pastor preaches that faith in Jesus is not the only way to acceptance with God, a church member should object.
• If a boss tells an employee to do something unethical, the employee should not comply.
• If a government official seeks a bribe to do a favor, a citizen should blow the whistle.

These responses are not rebellion. They are not a refusal to accept authority per se, but rather they are a considered reaction to a specific injustice. Such a reaction is more akin to civil disobedience than to rebellion. One can remain the “loyal opposition” while disobeying on ethical grounds.

Of course, there are poor ways and better ways to disobey when the need arises. Here are a few guidelines to remember:

Raise objections respectfully.

• Continue to love the other, making sure your objection does not turn into a personal attack.
• Choose the right time and place, working through proper channels to the extent that it is possible.
• State your reasons logically and do not let your emotions run away with you.
• Seek justice but at the same time be ready to forgive.

These legitimate responses to errors by those in authority are in keeping with a general pattern of obedience to authority. For those of us who have a habit of rebellion, obedience is a virtue to ask the Lord to build into our lives instead of sin.

Get Yourself in Line

We want to be clear about one thing. In authority relationships, responsibility goes both ways. Possessing authority is never the same thing as having a license for tyranny. The misuse of power is as great a sin, perhaps greater, than rebellion.

The same New Testament passages that speak about children’s submission to their parents, wives’ submission to their husbands, and slaves’ submission to their masters also speak about the responsibilities of those in authority. In fact, Christians are all to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Leaders submit by serving righteously, while followers submit by cooperating willingly. In this way order and love may coexist.

As we said earlier, at different times and in different circumstances, all of us are both leaders and followers. For example, a woman may be a follower in relation to her boss at work and a leader to her child at home. When we are in positions of following, obedience should be our habitual practice.

The Greek word used for “submit” in Ephesians 5 came out of military experience. It referred to soldiers lining up in ranks under their officers. So when we are called to submit, we should get in line under the authority of our leaders. To do otherwise is to risk failure, even disaster, in the family or organization of which we are a part. For when the troops scatter, the war is lost.

If obedience is a virtue that does not come easily to you, you can learn it with God’s help. Even though Jesus was God’s Son, “He learned obedience from the things He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). Seek the Holy Spirit for the ability to eliminate the ugliness of rebellion from your life and replace it with the beauty of obedience.

Begin now to heal the sin of rebellion in your life.

Soul Prescription for Rebellion

Are you struggling with a form of rebellion against authority? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

If you have a tendency toward rebellion, chances are good that your view of God has become skewed in some way. Perhaps you see God as a tyrant, selfishly wanting everything His own way. Your reaction to Him, then, could spill over to your relationships with other authority figures. Consider these points:

• God’s commandments are fair and good.

He is the Rock; His deeds are perfect. 
Everything He does is just and fair.
He is a faithful God who does no wrong; 
how just and upright He is! —Deuteronomy 32:4

• God will hold us accountable for our rebellion.

The LORD is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. But He does not excuse the guilty. He lays the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations. —Numbers 14:18

Embark on a study of the justice and sovereignty of God as reflected in Scripture. Keep an open mind as you encounter biblical truth, asking God to change your view of Him to make it more nearly conformed to the truth.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

If you have mistaken ideas about people and the world, you will rebel against authority figures and especially the greatest Authority Figure of them all–God. Evaluate your beliefs with the following questions:

• Do you believe you are not subject to properly instituted authorities.
  Those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.—Romans 13:1
• Do you believe you can defy authority without consequences?
  You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings!” —Proverbs 5:12
• Do you believe God’s commandments and will are unreasonable?
  I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to Your commandments.—Psalm 119:45

Trace the theme of obedience through Scripture. In the process, test your beliefs about how families, businesses, churches, and society should operate. Choose to accept the principle of obedience to proper authority.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

Where does your rebellion usually manifest itself? At home? In church? At work? In society at large? Toward God? Is your problem disobedience, insubordination, lawlessness, insolence, scoffing, or disrespect? Pinpoint your sin habit. Admit it to yourself. Own it.

When you are ready, pray the following prayer in faith, trusting that God will forgive your sin and empower your obedience.

God, You have established structures of authority to make things work better for Your children. Yet I have sometimes strived not to support but to break down those structures. In particular, I am guilty of _________. It is a sin, and I am sorry for it. Please forgive me now. Cleanse me entirely of my sin of __________. Then fill me with Holy Spirit power to enable me to resist the temptation of rebellion from now on. In the name of Christ the King, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Don’t breathe too big a sigh of relief after repenting of rebellion. Attacks from the world, the flesh, and the Devil are all but inevitable now. These spiritual enemies want to draw you back into disobedience to God.

• The world system tells us, “The way to a good life is to have total freedom and do whatever you want.” Would God agree? Of course not. He says, “True freedom comes from submitting to proper authorities, especially Mine.” Overcome the world by rejecting its values and embracing God’s.
• Your flesh, or sinful nature, has always enjoyed the sense of power and autonomy that comes from rebelling against authority. It craves to get that feeling back. What you need to do is remember that your flesh is already dead; you have no need to obey its dictates. Obey the Spirit and not the flesh.
• The Devil is hatching schemes to tempt you to rebel again, doing damage to you and others in the process. Among the other pieces of spiritual armor listed in Ephesians 6, put on the helmet of salvation to protect your mind from Satan’s poisonous thoughts.

The attacks of the world, the flesh, and the Devil are formidable, but not impossible to defeat. With God acting in your life, you are more than able to repel each assault thrown at you.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

Take practical steps to avoid sliding back into rebellion and to cement an attitude of obedience in your heart.

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  In your devotional and worship times, focus on God as King over all the universe. Learning to be obedient to this Sovereign will help you be obedient in all areas of life.
• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Find helpful verses in Scripture and then commit them to memory to help you in your struggles against the temptation to rebel. One such verse for you may be the following:

The commandments of the Lord are right, 
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear, 
giving insight for living.
—Psalm 19:8

• Establish safeguards. 
  Think about the usual sources of temptation for you to rebel. Identify precautions you can take to protect yourself from those sources. Let the following examples spark your imagination:

• If you tend to be insubordinate to your boss, start calling this person “sir” or “ma’am” as a reminder of the respect you owe.
• If you are inclined to scoff at church leaders’ direction, take the lowliest position of service in the church you can find—and fulfill it without complaint.
• If you tend to be critical of government officials, send a card of thanks to your congressional representative the next time he or she does something honorable.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not rebel against authority.

• Expect victory. 
Developing a submissive spirit is not easy, but you have the Holy Spirit living in you and producing in you a spirit of obedience. Be confident and rejoice in every sign of progress.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

About to open wide, with the drill lowering toward his mouth, a man humorously pleaded with his dentist, “Careful, doc. I can stand anything but pain.” 

By nature, every one of us is inclined to take the path of least resistance. The dentist usually injects us with Novocain to keep us from feeling any pain. We do not like the injection needle because of its momentary sting. We look for easy exercise programs that are perspiration free and tireless. Students shortcut their assigned reading by reviewing study notes. 

And diets? There always seems to be a new fad for shedding weight without hunger or exercise. Liquid diets, banana diets, grapefruit diets, carbohydrate diets, protein diets.… The list goes on and on.

When it comes right down to it, we do not like hard work. Areas that we recognize are in our best interest, such as with exercise, diet, and study, are avoided even though we know they will help us.

For most of us, the irresponsibility is merely occasional, cropping up only when a particularly hard chore stands before us. Others, though, are chronically irresponsible, rarely doing more than enough to get by at work, frequently arriving late for appointments, or so disorderly that their houses are a perpetual mess. Filled with lethargy and indifference, they go through life earning a reputation for being undependable. They have grown used to accomplishing little.

Does any of this describe you? Are you troubled in your conscience about your indolence, negligence, tardiness, apathy, or passivity? Are you aware that you only fulfill your responsibilities when it is clear that there is something in it for you? Our Lord would not have you so live.

I (Bill) have been inspired since my early Christian years by something the evangelist D. L. Moody said: “The world has yet to see what God can do with a man fully consecrated to Him.” Sticking close to God, working hard to fulfill His will for me in every facet of life—that is what I have strived to do, not for my own glory, but for God’s.

To what degree I have succeeded in my objective is for God to judge. But I can testify that a life of working hard at one’s pursuits is a glorious adventure when it is done in tune with God’s Spirit. It is the way we are meant to live.

If you have a sin habit of irresponsibility, it is not too late to seek the Lord’s help for change. You can become a responsible and hardworking member of His kingdom if you will face up to your problem and seek to heal this area of your life according to His principles.

Let us begin our exploration of the sins of irresponsibility with laziness. No other sin in this family is so frequently addressed or so roundly criticized in Scripture. “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically” (Romans 12:11).

A Lesson From the Ants

The book of Proverbs is about how to live skillfully, from a godly perspective. Given the frequency with which laziness is condemned in this book of the Bible, it is easy to see that sloth can have no place in a well-lived life. What can we learn about the causes and costs of laziness from the book of Proverbs?

1. In the worst cases, laziness can reach ridiculous proportions.

Lazy people don’t even cook the game they catch, but the diligent make use of everything they find. —Proverbs 12:27

Lazy people take food in their hand but don’t even lift it to their mouth. —Proverbs 19:24

2. Laziness is on a par with other serious sins.

A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things.
—Proverbs 18:9

3. Lazy people sleep too much.

As a door swings back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed. —Proverbs 26:14

(If you were not already convinced that the Bible has a sense of humor, this image should help to change you mind.)

4. The lazy make excuses for their laziness.

The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion on the road! Yes, I’m sure there’s a lion out there!” —Proverbs 26:13

(Now are you convinced that the Bible can be funny?)

5. The lazy delude themselves.

Lazy people consider themselves smarter than seven wise counselors. —Proverbs 26:13–16

(If they are that smart, why aren’t they, instead of others, serving as trusted counselors to the mighty? If they were half as smart as they think they are, they would know better than to be so lazy.)

6. The lazy grow unhappy because they have wants but do not have the willingness to work to fulfill those wants.

Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper. —Proverbs 13:4

Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work.—Proverbs 21:25

7. The lazy are unpopular, especially among those whom they let down.

Lazy people irritate their employers, like vinegar to the teeth or smoke in the eyes.—Proverbs 

8. Laziness leads to poverty and to a menial position in society.

Lazy people are soon poor; hard workers get rich. —Proverbs 10:4

Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. —Proverbs 12:24

Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest. —Proverbs 20:4

9. The tendency of the lazy to oversleep is a key reason why they grow poor.

Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter. But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber. —Proverbs 6:6–11

Lazy people sleep soundly, but idleness leaves them hungry. —Proverbs 19:15

Too much sleep clothes them in rags.—Proverbs 23:21

10. Laziness actually makes life harder, not easier.

A lazy person’s way is blocked with briers, but the path of the upright is an open highway. —Proverbs 15:19

It seems, from all this, that the man or woman of God is expected to be diligent in all areas of life. We should be working hard at doing our jobs or studies, taking care of home chores, raising our children, serving in our churches and communities, and most importantly, cultivating our relationship with God through spiritual disciplines. One who is chronically lazy is a person with a serious sin habit.

Of course, while saying this, we do not mean to imply that taking it easy is always wrong. In fact, rest has its proper place in a well-lived life.

The Proper Place of Rest

The rhythm of labor and rest goes all the way back to the beginning, as the Creator Himself rested on the seventh day. That was the example God offered when instructing His nation Israel to set aside one day of the week as a day of rest.

Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the LORD your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the LORD made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day He rested. That is why the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy. —Exodus 20:8-11

Based on this and other observations in Scripture, we affirm the need for periodic rest. Obviously, since God made the human body, He knows we need regular times for rest and recuperation. We should obey the Bible and see that our body gets its required rest.

I (Bill) was raised on a ranch where we grew crops and raised cattle. We worked between ten and fifteen hours a day, six days a week. But as important as work was during the Depression years, we did not work on Sunday.

Today, Sabbath keeping is still vitally important to me. I instruct my associates who arrange my travel not to book a flight that will require me to travel on Sunday unless it is absolutely necessary. I ask them to help me avoid situations where I would go out to eat in restaurants on Sunday, because that would cause others to work.

So Henry and I recognize that Sabbath rest is important. But what we are talking about in this chapter are the other six days of the week. We are talking about people who are idle when they should be working. We want to say that getting too much rest is wrong.

According to Hebrews 4, we can all look forward to a time of ultimate rest in the eternal state. But that time is not yet. Paradoxically (or so it would seem), we are bid to “labour…to enter into that rest” (Hebrews 4:11 kjv). In this life we have much to do. Let us get on with it.

A Working Savior

The Bible is full of examples of men and women who labored diligently at their tasks. There was Jacob, who worked fourteen years for his two wives. There were Joseph and Daniel, two Israelites whose hard work and ability raised them to near the pinnacle of power in pagan nations. But if we are looking for a hard worker, we can find no better example than that of the carpenter turned rabbi, Jesus.

Let us consider a single day in the course of our Lord’s earthly ministry. (See Mark 1:21–39.)

One Saturday morning, Jesus attended a worship service at the synagogue in the village of Capernaum. There He gave the sermon and also expelled an evil spirit from one of the men attending the service. In the afternoon He visited the home of a pair of His disciples and healed a member of their family who was ill with a high fever. In the evening a crowd sought Him out, and “Jesus healed many people who were sick with various diseases, and he cast out many demons” (verse 34).

If we had such a day, we might want to sleep in. But did Jesus? No. Rather, “Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray” (verse 35). He would not let His outer (ministry) duties interfere with His inner (devotional) duties. His prayer time was interrupted by His disciples seeking Him out and saying, “Everyone is asking for you” (verse 37). And so the round of service to others began all over again.

Jesus expressed the divine attitude when He said on one occasion, “My Father is always working, and so am I” (John 5:17). Talk about a work ethic! This work ethic is passed down to us via the apostle Paul.

Sacred Work

Paul told his readers (including us), “You should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). A part of that has to do with labor. Like Jesus, Paul was a hard worker.

Even though the apostle had a right to expect his converts to support him financially (1 Corinthians 9:3–19), he chose to support himself with a textile trade (Acts 18:3). And because of this practice, he was in a moral position to lecture some others who were idle.

Dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don’t follow the tradition they received from us. For you know that you ought to imitate us. We were not idle when we were with you. We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so we would not be a burden to any of you. We certainly had the right to ask you to feed us, but we wanted to give you an example to follow. Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”

Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. As for the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good. —2 Thessalonians 3:6–13

“Settle down and get to work.” Is that a command you need to hear? Jesus set the example for hard work. Paul followed it. We must follow both of their examples.

Our work matters to God. It does not merely improve our economic position; it also has spiritual significance. As Henry David Thoreau said, “You cannot kill time without injury to eternity.”

But you may say, “You don’t know how dreary my job is. You don’t know the way my work around the house is overlooked by my spouse. You don’t know the difficult people I have to work with on that committee I volunteered for.”

True, we do not. But no one ever said work would always be easy or enjoyable, just that it is the right thing to do. The Bible, however, describes a change of perspective that can affect our attitude about our work. And it comes out of a context that was worse than anything any of us has to deal with.

Boss of Bosses

Slavery was widespread in the Roman world, and consequently many of the early Christians were slaves. No doubt Paul wanted all Christian slaves freed from their servitude, just as he did Onesimus.1 But since that was not possible, he instead helped them understand how they should act in their circumstances.

Were they to slack off whenever they got a chance, like most slaves, since someone else was unjustly reaping the benefits of their labor? No. Instead, Paul told the slaves, “Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people” (Ephesians 6:6–7).2

No matter how bad your job is, at least it is not slavery! But did you catch Paul’s change of perspective? It can be useful to us in our own situations. We are to do our work as if we were working for the Lord rather than for people. That enables us to be consistent, diligent, reliable—and even happy—in our work.

And do you know what is most amazing? We really are doing our work for the Lord. When we earn an honest paycheck for honest labor, when we take care of our children, when we cultivate our personal relationship with the Lord, or contribute to the life of our local church, we are doing it out of obedience to God because we know it is what He wants us to do. Our work is for Him.

It should go without saying that this means we should strive for excellence, not just to put in our time. The Lord deserves the best, and so the Bible says, “Whatever you do, do well” (Ecclesiastes 9:10). As Martin Luther King Jr. once preached, “If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say: ‘Here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.’”

Work is worship, if we will see it as such.

The Undependable

Laziness may be the most common type, but not the only type, of irresponsibility.

Some people are irresponsible with time. They are habitually late for engagements, causing other people inconvenience as a result. Or they procrastinate, putting off doing what they know they ought to do.

Others are irresponsible with material objects. They borrow things from others and either forget to return them or else let them become damaged while in their possession. Or they may take poor care of their own possessions, letting their homes and workplaces get messy or rundown. They forget that “God is not a God of disorder but of peace” and that we are to “be sure that everything is done properly and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:33, 40).

Some people seem to be negligent, careless, and inconsistent in every area of life. Should you depend on them to fulfill what they promised? You had better not. Should you trust them to help you out if you are not keeping an eye on them? Certainly not.

What’s behind all this is usually an attitude problem, whether it goes by the name of apathy, boredom, or lethargy. Theologian J. I. Packer analyzed such attitudes when he said,

The world today is full of sufferers from the wasting disease that Albert Camus focused as absurdism (“life is a bad joke”), and from the complaint that we may call Marie Antoinette’s fever, since she founded the phrase that describes it (“nothing tastes”). These disorders blight the whole of life: everything becomes at once a problem and a bore, because nothing seems worthwhile.

But Packer also suggested the response to absurdism and Marie Antoinette’s fever:

What makes life worthwhile is having a big enough objective, something that catches our imagination and lays hold of our allegiance; and this the Christian has in a way that no other person has.3

What is the “big enough objective”? It is knowing God—a task that is like penetrating ever deeper into the interior of a land that is infinite in size and so accommodates an eternity of exploration. Do you sense that your life is a part of the great story God is writing in history? Do you understand that by obeying Him in your duties and relationships you are helping to build an everlasting kingdom?

With the right perspective, your attitude can change from apathy to enthusiasm. And your sin habit of irresponsibility can be replaced by the virtue of diligence.

Get Going!

Every year in January, health clubs around the country report a surge in membership. Can you guess why? It is because of the New Year’s resolutions people make to lose weight and become more fit.

But by the end of February, attendance at the clubs is back to normal. In weeks, or even just in days, most people have broken their resolution to exercise. They are sitting at home, eating a snack or watching TV, when they could be working out for the good of their bodies.

If you have an ongoing problem with some type of irresponsibility, what we are not asking of you is a New Year’s type of resolution to do better. We are not asking you to force yourself to do better on the job, at home, or wherever you tend to be irresponsible. If we asked this kind of self-effort from you, you would likely be no more successful than the people who show up at the gym with brand-new exercise clothes in January.

What we are asking of you is that you begin praying for help and committing yourself, in the grace of God, to fulfill the responsibilities He has laid on your heart. Seek the Lord, repent of your sin, and rely on the Spirit’s empowering. Only in this way will you be able to acquire the virtue of diligence—and keep it.

When ejection seats for jet fighters were first invented, the pilot was supposed to push a button, clear the plane, and then roll out of his seat so that his parachute could deploy. The problem was that, under the intense conditions of a high-speed ejection, most pilots would hold on to their seat like it was their last link with safety. Their parachutes, consequently, could not open.

What did jet designers do in response to this unexpected problem? They invented a device that would force ejected pilots out of their seats, enabling them to correctly operate their parachutes—where their real safety came from.

If a responsibility is lying before you and you are hesitating to do anything about it, what will it take for you to get out of your seat? Get help now. Begin the healing process by embodying the virtue of diligence in every responsibility the Lord gives you. It is a privilege to serve Him with all that lies within us.

Soul Prescription for Irresponsibility

Are you struggling with being irresponsible? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.

Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God

A poor conception of God may well lie behind your problem with irresponsibility. For example, if you see God as an uncaring and  detached deity, you will likely have the same attitude toward life. Are the following points ones you need to take to heart?

• God is absolutely concerned about every aspect of our lives.
  What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? —Romans 8:31

• God uses His power on our behalf.
  The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.
  —2 Chronicles 16:9

In your Bible, read a sampling of some of the key events in salvation history, such as creation, the call of Abram, the exodus, and so on. Examine these events from the perspective of God’s activity in the world. Begin to develop a picture of God as a deity who is far from apathetic or irresponsible toward His creation.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

Irresponsibility is fed by erroneous beliefs about life and one’s place in it. How might your false views have helped to make you irresponsible? Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you believe you cannot make any real changes in your world?
  I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. —Philippians 4:13
• Do you believe that the needs of others are none of your concern?
  Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good–bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? —James 2:15–16

Use a concordance to help you trace the themes of laziness and diligence through the Scriptures. Seek God’s help to correct your unbiblical views of life as they apply to irresponsibility.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

What type of irresponsibility is your downfall? Name it and disclaim it. Pray a simple prayer of repentance, and ask God to supernaturally motivate you into action.

God, I have been guilty of __________. I know it is sinful, and I am sorry for the way I have let You down. Forgive me now, I pray. Wash away the stain of this sin. Make me over into a person who uses Your power to reject irresponsibility and embrace a diligent lifestyle—one that pleases You. I ask these things in Christ’s name, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Now that you have repented, watch out for demotivating spiritual attacks. They are certain to occur.

• In the world system, responsibility is not a high value in itself. The world would tell you to only do what you need to in order to get by—everything else is a waste. But God’s values in this area are quite different. He wants diligence to be a regular part of your nature. You can overcome the world by rejecting its values and embracing God’s values instead.

• Laziness and other types of irresponsibility are pleasurable to your flesh (sinful nature)—they are easy and comfortable. The flesh will desire to get that kind of pleasure back. But you must recall that your flesh is really dead now, because of Christ. You are a new person and are to obey the Spirit and not the flesh.
• The Devil is scheming to draw you back to your old ways of irresponsibility. Put on all the armor of God to defend against him (Ephesians 6:10–18). If you will resist the Devil in God’s power, you can defeat him.

The quickest way to become irresponsible in life again is to be irresponsible about defending against spiritual attacks. Such attacks will come, and you should be ready for them. But remember that God will be empowering you and helping you be successful every time.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

The best way to avoid being tempted to lie on the couch and watch the world go by is to just do something. Take these active steps to be a more active person.

• Focus on your relationship with God. 
  Begin your new, more disciplined life by maintaining your spiritual disciplines with God. He has something for you to do; ask Him what it is.
• Latch on to God’s promises. 
  Find Bible verses that speak encouragement to you in your struggle against irresponsibility. Commit the verses to memory and use them when temptation arises. Here is one you may find valuable:
  He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. —Isaiah 40:29
• Establish safeguards. 
  What inspires you to be irresponsible? Do whatever it takes to block such influences from your life. These are examples of the kinds of things you can do:
• If you are lazy, make a “to do” list of the things you ought to accomplish.
• If you tend to procrastinate, create a calendar with all the deadlines for the things you are supposed to do.
• If you typically leave your bedroom a mess, set your alarm a few minutes earlier so you can straighten it up every morning.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not be irresponsible any longer.

• Expect victory. 
The Holy Spirit will motivate you into action if you will yield your heart to Him. Trust Him to make you a diligent person. Look forward to the victory He will give.

Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.

A young friend of mine (Bill’s) found that his life had become a nightmare of addiction, promiscuous living, brushes with the law, and loneliness. One night he called out to God for help—he was not seeking salvation, just deliverance. 

In reply to his prayer, he sensed the Father’s reply: “You don’t want Me in your life; you just want Me to get you out of a jam.” 

The truth cut through this man’s heart like a knife. He prayed, “Then do whatever You have to do to bring me home.” 

The next twelve months of this man’s life were a virtual replay of the previous year. Finally, though, the reality of his situation came crashing down on him and he prayed to God, “Take my life, Lord. It is Yours’ to do with as You wish. Just please set me free.” He kept seeking God and seeking holiness, and today he is free from his sin problem. 

I tell this story to underscore how much of a struggle it can sometimes be, and how long it can sometimes take, to be healed of a habitual sin problem. The soul prescription we have written for you—adopting a correct view of God, revising your false beliefs, repenting of your sin, defending against spiritual attacks, and fleeing temptation—is able to bring you to spiritual well-being. But that does not mean the healing is easy. 

We all know the reality. We mean not to repeat a sin; we think we will not commit the sin again—and then we do it! The apostle Paul agonized, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate” (Romans 7:15). The same experience is familiar to us. We have to expect difficulty and spiritual opposition in doing what God wants. Nevertheless, the five steps represent a natural progression that can help us defeat sin.

We hope that today you are praising God for the victory He has given over your sin problem. But if it has proved more stubborn than you thought, you may need to work through the five steps more than once. That’s okay. As you repeat the process, you will be ingraining biblical truths of holiness in your spirit and drawing nearer to freedom. Over time, with God’s help, the five steps will move you toward complete freedom from your sin problem.

And of course, that is what you want: to be able to say in all honesty that you used to have a problem with a particular sin. You will repeat the five-step process if you have to, but you do not want to be on a treadmill of sinning and recovering from sin forever. Eventually you want to get off the treadmill entirely by putting your habitual sin behind you. It is possible to do this by being honest with yourself and trusting in God.

Don’t be overconfident, but don’t be discouraged either. God is capable of curing your sin sickness. Like my young friend, many have practiced the principles embodied in our five steps and can testify of the victory they have achieved through the Spirit. You, too, can be free of your troublesome sin—permanently.

Remember, the definition of victory for you includes not only being freed from your habitual sin but also having the opposing virtue established firmly in your life. You not only get rid of pride but also embrace virtue; you not only give up anger but also practice forgiveness; and so forth. As God deals with your habitual sins, the whole garden of Christian virtues blooms in your life. Most of all, you are filled with love, the mark of a Christian.

Will you permit us to pray a prayer of blessing upon you as you go out to live a life of love and holiness in the Spirit?

Heavenly Father, we pray for this dear child of Yours who loves You and wants to be holy as You are holy. Honor this child’s attempts to follow the path toward holiness laid out in Your Word, and respond with grace and power to every plea for help. Once and for all, break the hold that a habit of sin has had over this one, so that every temptation to renew the sin may be rendered ineffective. Crown this child’s virtues with a love inspired by Your own immeasurable love shown to us by Christ. And in the end, bring this child home to the place our Lord has prepared, glorified and shining with a purity that can never be tarnished again.

“Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again” (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Amen.