Apicontent

If you are conceited, vain, or self-righteous, you probably want others to know how great you are. There are different ways you can do that. Three key terms for these strategies are boasting, showing off, and selfish ambition.

Boasting may come in an obvious form or it may be more subtle. If someone openly proclaims to you how much money he is making, there is no mistaking what is going on. The more sly boasters have perfected the art of dropping names and letting slip what they have accomplished or purchased or experienced. But this artfulness is really no different from more transparent forms of boasting; it is all meant to impress. Scripture takes a realistic view of boasting. “When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much” (2 Corinthians 10:18).

We are told in God’s Word that if we want to boast, we should learn to boast about the right thing. “This is what the LORD says: ‘Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord’” (Jeremiah 9:23–24).

But in addition to attracting attention to oneself with words, a person can do the same through actions. That’s showing off.

Showing off may be pardonable in children. Every parent has heard a child cry, “Look at me!” and has indulged her by watching as she performs a cartwheel or him as he rides by on his two-wheeler. But in grown-ups, showing off is not so cute.

What is displaying one’s intellect except showing off? What is clowning around so that the attention stays riveted on you? What is making sure others see your new car or fancy clothes? All this is the equivalent of calling out to the world, “Look at me!”

Is this acceptable behavior in God’s eyes? Hardly. “Don’t try to impress others,” He instructs us (Philippians 2:3).

Also, we are not to let selfish ambition determine how we live our lives. Certain types of ambition might be good, such as striving to do well at work in order to be able to provide for your family better. But selfish ambition is the single-minded pursuit of what you think you deserve, regardless of what it might cost others.

The man who becomes a workaholic because he wants others to see him as a success, even though the overwork makes him a stranger to his family, is selfishly ambitious.

The church member who pursues a leadership position on a church committee because of the prestige it carries, not out of a desire to serve, is selfishly ambitious.

Our society applauds hard-charging, “self-made” men and women. But if that go-getter quality is actually an expression of selfish ambition, it is foolish and ungodly. “If…you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind” (James 3:14–16).

If you need to think less of yourself, begin the spiritual healing process now by allowing the Holy Spirit to help you identify ungodly pride in your life and replace it with Christ-like humility.

[The above article is an extract from Chapter 9 of Soul Prescription by Bill Bright and Henry Brandt.]

Are you struggling with a form of pride? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps included below.

Step 1:  Adopt a Correct View of God

When you have a distorted view of who God is, you will not give Him the reverence and respect that is due to Him. As a result, your arrogance will be free to develop until you suffer the consequences of your pride.

Consider some truths about God that will help you with your pride problem:

God is infinitely superior to us. He is absolutely perfect and we are not.

How can a mortal be innocent before God? Can anyone born of a woman be pure? God is more glorious than the moon; He shines brighter than the stars. In comparison, people are maggots; we mortals are mere worms. (Job 25:4–6)

God has supreme authority over us. He determines our eternal future.

How foolish can you be? He is the Potter, and He is certainly greater than you, the clay! Should the created thing say of the one who made it, “He didn’t make me?” Does a jar ever say, “The potter who made me is stupid?” (Isaiah 29:16)

If you tend to think too highly of yourself, focus more on the greatness of God. Undertake a Bible study on the nature of God, especially His majesty and power. Ask God to reveal Himself more clearly to you.

Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs

God wants His people to be living examples of His love to others. Yet pride is the single greatest obstacle to loving people. Reflect on your attitudes with the help of the questions that follow.

Do you think you are better than others?

What gives you the right to make such a judgment? What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift? (1 Corinthians 4:7)

Do you think that you are indispensable?

By the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. (Romans 12:3 NIV)

Do you think that your accomplishments and position entitle you to special favor?

It’s not good to eat too much honey, and it’s not good to seek honors for yourself. (Proverbs 25:27)

Such beliefs are all self-centered, self-appreciating, and degrading to others. Yet your identity in Christ is not to be one of selfish ambition and pride but rather one of self-denial and grace-filled humility. Allow Scripture to inform your views of yourself, other people, and life in general so that you will not be proud in a sinful way.

Step 3: Repent of Your Sin

The hardest thing for a proud person to do is to admit that he or she is wrong. Are you prepared to do that? If so, give your type of pride a specific name (conceit, vanity, or whatever).

Then pray the following prayer (or a similar one of your own making) in faith that God will forgive your sin and empower your obedience. Insert the name of your particular type of pride in the blanks.

God, I know I have sinned by __________. I am sorry for the pain I have given to You and to the people around me. Please forgive me for my sin. Wash away all of the __________ from me. And by Your Spirit, give me the strength to sin no more in this area but instead to live in humility. In Christ’s name, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks

Pride is easy to slip back into after you have repented. You can even become proud of your humility! Be certain that the world, the flesh, and the Devil will do all they can to pull you back into your sin of pride.

• The values of the world system are topsy-turvy, including promoting pride as a positive thing. The world system gives us messages like “You should think highly of yourself” and “Try to keep yourself in the spotlight.” Overcome the world by inviting God to transform your thinking so that you come to agree with Him about the importance He places on humility.
• Your flesh (sinful nature) craves the good feeling it gets when you inflate your ego and selfishly seek attention from others. So remind yourself that your sinful nature is actually already dead. Cooperate with the Holy Spirit, who seeks to magnify God, not God’s creatures.
• Satan will lay opportunities in your path that will make it easy for you to exercise your pride. Resist his schemes by putting on the whole armor of God. Especially use the “belt of truth” (Ephesians 6:14) by reminding yourself that God is the one who deserves honor, not you.

Spiritual attacks will never cease. So remain alert. The power of God is more than enough to defend you against spiritual attacks so that you may continue to live in a way that is consistent with your repentance.

Step 5: Flee Temptation

You will never fully be able to escape temptations to be proud. But you can significantly reduce these temptations—and thus improve your chances of remaining free of pride—if you will take specific steps to avoid temptation.

Focus on your relationship with God.

Strengthen your devotional life. In particular, focus on giving God glory and humbling yourself before Him.

Latch on to God’s promises.

Search the Scriptures for truths about pride and humility, then memorize the verses that you think can best help you to resist pride. Recall these verses whenever temptation arises. The following are a couple of verses you might want to memorize.

Anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. (Matthew 18:4)

Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. (1 Peter 5:6)

Establish safeguards.

Make changes in your lifestyle that will reduce your temptation to be prideful. Be bold here! Be creative! These are a few possibilities to get your thinking going:

• If you tend to look down on people of a lower social class than your own, volunteer to serve some of society’s down-and-outers.
• If you are proud of your looks, get rid of the clothes or makeup that you think flatter your looks the most.
• If you like to show off by driving up in a flashy car, trade it in for a vehicle that is more modest and practical.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not be prideful.

Expect victory.

Do not focus on your failures of the past but rather on God’s ability to give you lasting victory over pride. Believe that He will implant a more humble attitude in your heart—for good. And give Him the praise in advance!

John Winters took seriously his job as church board chairman. He had definite ideas about how church affairs should be run. He said that nothing but the best could be tolerated in Christian work.

Once, when he felt the pastor was undercutting his efforts to maintain a high standard, John came close to an open conflict with him. He had engaged in arguments in other churches, and had left amidst controversy, but he liked his present church. He didn’t want to leave, thought he felt that integrity might force him to do so.

In counseling with Henry, Henry had John consider that the sort of person who is hard driver becomes frustrated when others will not meet his standards, has difficulty in working with others in authority, and tends to retreat after publicly showing his anger.

John was wise enough to see that these characteristics marked his life inside and outside of the church.

His relationship with his wife, for example, had been strained for years. He had resented the money that his wife’s mother gave them. He had once threatened to burn $1,000 but when dared to, he backed down. He had been bitter ever since that his own earnings were not enough to please his wife.

As John began to let God direct his thinking, he realized that the church had been getting along reasonably well before he entered the picture. It was just a step further for him to see that his problem with other people lay within himself.

As he accepted this, he began to show more humility. The smoldering trouble between him and his wife started to come into focus, and it appeared a bit ridiculous. As he continued to read God’s Word, he began to recognize that his short temper was essentially because he liked things his own way and had a lack of love in his life for other people. One day he read 1 John 4:20, ”If a man says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar.” It struck him between the eyes–and in the heart.

John Winter decided he ought to become more interested in people that in what he expected of them. He repented of his pride and determined, by God’s help, to humbly accept others for who they were. Rather than try to force them to fit his mold, he would allow God to work in their lives to make them what He wanted them to be. Out of John’s confession came a change that not only transformed his own life, but was the beginning of a revival in his church.

[Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various people he counseled. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]

Meditate on these verses related to pride, and ask God to show you anything that you need to confess and repent of:

On Pride

Stop acting so proud and haughty! Don’t speak with such arrogance! For the LORD is a God who knows what you have done; he will judge your actions. (1 Samuel 2:3, NLT2)

For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. (1 John 2:16, NLT2)

You have been deceived by your own pride. (Obadiah 1:3 NLT2)

Those who walk in pride he [God] is able to humble. (Daniel 4:37, NIV)

Pride ends in humiliation. (Proverbs 29:23, NLT2)

Pride goes before destruction. (Proverbs 16:18, NIV)

A fool’s proud talk becomes a rod that beats him. (Proverbs 14:3, NLT2)

Pride leads to conflict. (Proverbs 13:10, NLT2)

When pride comes, then comes dishonor. (Proverbs 11:2, NASB95)

For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips, let them be caught in their pride. (Psalm 59:12, NIV)

In his pride the wicked does not seek him [God]; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. (Psalm 10:4, NIV)

I [God] will break your proud spirit. (Leviticus 26:19, NLT2)

To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I [God] hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. (Proverbs 8:13, NIV)

On Conceit

Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! (Romans 12:16, NLT2)

Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another. (Galatians 5:26, NLT2)

Do not deceive yourselves. If anyone of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. (1 Corinthians 3:18-19, NIV)

Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. (Proverbs 8:37, NLT2)

What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes and think themselves so clever. (Isaiah 5:21, NLT2)

On Self-righteousness

He [Jesus] said to them, “You like to appear righteous in public, but God knows your hearts. What this world honors is detestable in the sight of God.” (Luke 16:15, NLT2)

For they don’t understand God’s way of making people right with himself. Refusing to accept God’s way, they cling to their own way of getting right with God by trying to keep the law. (Romans 10:3, NLT2)

As the Scriptures say, “No one is righteous – not even one.” (Romans 3:10, NLT2)

No one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are. (Romans 3:20, NLT2)

All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart. (Proverbs 21:2, NIV)

People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy. (Proverbs 28:13, NLT2)

Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: “Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14, NLT2)

On Boasting

Don’t brag about tomorrow, since you don’t know what the day will bring. (Proverbs 27:1, NLT2)

This is what the LORD says: ‘Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the LORD.’” (Jeremiah 9:23-24, NLT2)

If you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. (James 3:14, NLT2)

The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. (James 3:5, NIV)

What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift? (1 Corinthians 4:7, NLT2)

For the wicked boasts of his heart’s desire. (Psalm 10:3, NKJV)

Let him who boasts boast in the Lord. (2 Corinthians 10:17, NIV)

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT2)

When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them. (2 Corinthians 10:18, NLT2)

Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. (Romans 12:3, NLT2)

On Selfish Ambition

Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:24, NLT2)

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James 3:16, NIV)

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interest of others. (Philippians 2:3-4, NLT2)

We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive … we must not just please ourselves. (Romans 15:1, NLT2)

On Showing Off

Don’t be selfish, don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3, NLT2)

Those who exalt themselves will be humbled. (Luke 14:11, NLT2)

On Vanity

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. (Proverbs 31:30, NLT2)

Let not him that is deceived trust in vanity; for vanity shall be his recompense. (Job 15:31, KJV)

Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3:3-4, NKJV)

On Impatience

Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus. (Romans 15:5, NKJV)

We pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need.  May you be filled with joy. (Colossians 1:11, NLT2)

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12, NLT2)

On Humility

Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. (Matthew 23:12, NIV)

True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life. (Proverbs 22:4, NLT2)

Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor. (Proverbs 29:23, NLT2)

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. (1Peter 5:6, NLT2)

He [Jesus] sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” (Mark 9:35, NLT2)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3, NIV)

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. (Romans 12:3, NIV)

Do you know someone who circles back again and again to the same place of fear or anxiety, whether it relates to their health, their family, their finances, or whatever else may be troubling them? Some fear may be natural and acceptable. But living in fear because you refuse to move on is another matter:  it is sin. A person can have a sinful fear habit just as surely as an immorality habit or a drunkenness habit.

When we are not trusting in God’s care for us, we naturally react to our circumstances by trying to figure out how we can meet our own needs. It is a kind of homegrown providence, and it will never do. We know inside that we will never be capable of anticipating all the situations we may face. If we attempt to cut our way out of all the problems that may entangle us, we get stuck in a round of anxiety and dread. When circumstances might naturally inspire worry, we need to renew our trust in God and move on in the confidence of His care.

If you have a fear habit, letting go of your fear and trusting God completely might seem like an impossibility. So let us assure you with Scripture that it is possible to substitute faith for the anxiety and the worry you are presently feeling.

Life is a day-by-day affair. We do not know all that will happen in the future—but we do not need to. God will be with us in the future just as surely as He is with us in the present. Our part is to develop our trust in Him, leaving fear and anxiety behind in the process.

Do you want more faith that the Lord is near to you for help? If so, you are not alone in that desire. A father who sought Jesus’ healing power for his son said to Jesus, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). The disciples likewise appealed to Jesus, “Show us how to increase our faith” (Luke 17:5).

The apostle John wrote, “We are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for” (1 John 5:14–15). Surely having faith is in line with God’s will. So if we ask Him for it, He will give it. We’ve got His Word on that. With the Spirit’s supernatural enabling, you can be a person of greater faith and you can shed your fear habit for good. Let the healing in this area of your life begin now.

[The above article is an extract from Chapter 10 of Soul Prescription by Bill Bright and Henry Brandt.]

Are you struggling with fear, worry, or a related habit? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps outlined in this article.

Step 1:  Adopt a Correct View of God

If you are worried, fearful, or despairing, chances are that you are failing to see just how capable and willing God is to keep all His promises to you. Consider these truths:

God is faithful; He will always be there for you.

The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. (Lamentations 3:22–23)

God is all-powerful, and He uses that power for your good.

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. (Isaiah 40:29)

Make sure your ideas about God our protector match what He says about Himself in the Bible. Why worry about anything when the Creator of the universe is watching over you?

Step 2:  Revise Your False Beliefs

How do ideas about people or life influence your worry-related habit? Your ideas may have gotten off track in a number of different ways, but think about these possibilities:

Do you believe that you must pull yourself up by your own bootstraps?

It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. (2 Corinthians 3:5)

Do you think of yourself as a born loser in the game of life?

I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

Do you believe that your circumstances are beyond God’s power to help?

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. (Philippians 4:6)

Scan the Bible for its messages about how unnecessary worry really is. Make a conscious decision to identify and abandon any concepts about yourself, others, or life in general that contribute to your worry. Believe God, and trust in His power to meet your every need.

Step 3:  Repent of Your Sin

What type of worry-related habit do you have? Is it fear? Is it anxiety? Are you discouraged or nervous or impatient? Make sure you are clear about your specific problem.

If you are prepared to leave your sin behind, pray a prayer of confession and commitment. You may use the prayer below, or you may pray in your own words.

God, I have a problem in the area of __________, and I know it is sin. I know also that my failure to trust You has grieved You. I am sorry for that. Please forgive me for my sin. Cleanse me of it completely now—wash it away as if it had never existed. Give me now the ability to live my life in Your strength and not in mine. Lord, I believe; help me in my unbelief. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.

Step 4:  Defend against Spiritual Attacks

The last place the enemies of your soul want to see you is at rest in the Lord’s grace. You have put your trust in God; now you must keep it there.

• Watch out for the false values that the world system entices you to adopt. The world will say you have to take care of yourself, and this will naturally lead to worry. In God’s value system, trust in Him takes the place of self-effort.
• Watch out for the way your flesh (that is, your sinful nature) attempts to have you return to that paradoxical feeling of control that comes from worrying about the unknown. When the feeling comes upon you, tell the flesh, “You’re already dead! I don’t have to do what you want.” Rely on the Spirit’s help to remain strong in your faith.
• Watch out for Satan’s schemes to persuade you to worry about your circumstances again. You can resist him with the “shield of faith” that God gives as a part of our spiritual armor (see Ephesians 6:10–18).

Do not expect the temptation to be anxious, fearful, or discouraged to disappear any time soon. Remember that God is bigger than the world, the flesh, and the Devil. With Him on your side, you are a winner!

Step 5:  Flee Temptation

In practical terms, certain situations can “give you an excuse” to worry. So take active steps to prevent returning to your bad habits of the past.

Focus on your relationship with God.

In your personal devotional time, focus on God as your provider and sanctuary. Use the power of praise and thankfulness to bolster your faith in Him.

Latch on to God’s promises.

Many passages in Scripture speak of God’s care for us. Search out ones that give you the most comfort and confidence, then commit them to memory. Here is one to memorize:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Establish safeguards.

Take practical steps to cut off common sources of temptation. These should be strategies tailor-made for you, but here are some examples to get you started thinking:

• If you begin to feel discouraged, rehearse in your mind the victories that God has given you in the past.
• If you are feeling fearful about tasks you need to accomplish, break it down into small steps and take them one at a time.
• If you are prone to nervousness, learn to meditate on God.
• Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable to not worry or fear so much.

Expect victory.

God has promised to always take care of you, and He will. Believe that He will enable you to beat the worry habit and build a stronger faith.

“It’s agonizing. Any gathering of people frightens me. In a traffic jam, I feel like jumping out of the car and running away. I force myself to go to church and sit there with a feeling of suspense. Nothing ever happens. Even a few customers lined up to buy something in my place of business frighten me. I feel trapped.”

The gentleman speaking was a college graduate and successful in business. He went on, “It started when we moved to an apartment. The people below us and beside us were noisy. We could hear their radios. They dropped things. Often another car was in my parking space. Finally, I insisted on moving to my own home. My wife wasn’t bothered at all by these things. She resisted the move, so now there is a wall building between us.”

He continued, “I used to enjoy people. Now I even feel anxious about going shopping.”

It is a helpless feeling for a successful businessman to be tormented by vague fears that seemingly have no origin. Jack turned to the Bible to see if there was some help for him. He found a verse that threw some light on the problem: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).

Jack’s problem was not vague, after all. His reactions to his neighbors, to his wife, to the man in person who took his parking space were hostile. He was an irritable man. Even though he was well-educated and successful, his heart was not filled with love, and as a result, he did not want to be around other people. In his effort to ignore this truth, he became anxious and convinced himself that his anxiety was caused by being in crowds. Then he became fearful of being in the presence of any people. The more he thought about this, the more fearful he became.

Jack had always thought of himself as a friendly, congenial person, but as he continued to study God’s Word, he realized that he was, indeed, an irritable person. Repentantly, he asked the Lord to forgive him and to change his heart. He began to realize that there was nothing to fear in the midst of people. The grace of God and His love took away the fear of saying or doing something that would embarrass him because of his irritations. Jack allowed himself to face his own sin in order to experience God’s healing.

[Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various people he counseled. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]

Meditate on these verses related to fear, and ask God to show you anything that you need to confess and repent of:

Fear

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10, NKJV)

For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, “Fear not, I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13, NKJV)

You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the LORD is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap. (Proverbs 3:24-26, NLT2)

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7, KJV)

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15, NLT2)

Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” So we can say with confidence, “The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5-6, NLT2)

The LORD is my light and my salvation– so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. (Psalm 27:1, NLT2)

I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4, KJV)

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! (Psalm 46:1-3, NLT2)

Listen to the LORD who created you…the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:1-2, NLT2)

Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm. (Proverbs 1:33, NIV)

The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear. (Hebrews 13:6, KJV)

Disbelief

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. (Matthew 8:23-26, NIV)

And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were frightened, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind stopped. (Matthew 14:25-32, NASB95)

When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.” “O unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment. (Matthew 17:14-18, NIV)

Worry

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT2)

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28, NLT2)

These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:32-34, NLT2)

And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don’t worry about these things, saying, “What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?” These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:30-34, NLT2)

Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. (John 14:1, NASB95)

I am leaving you with a gift––peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27, NLT2)

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. (Matthew 6:34, NLT2)

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? (Luke 12:25, NIV)

Now when they bring you to the synagogues and magistrates and authorities, do not worry about how or what you should answer, or what you should say. For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say. (Luke 12:11-12, NKJV)

Anxiety

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (1 Peter 5:7, NLT2)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT2)

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD. (Psalm 31:24, NIV)

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD! (Psalm 27:14, NKJV)

Faith

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1, NIV)

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5-6, NLT2)

Just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. (Colossians 2:6-7, NLT2)

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NASB95)

Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13, NLT2)

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20, NIV)

Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” (Mark 11:22-24, NLT2)

We live by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7, NIV)

Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. (Romans 10:17, NIV)

I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. (Matthew 17:20, NASB95)

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold––though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (1 Peter 1:7, NLT2)

For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. (1 John 5:4, NLT2)

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life––whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? (Matthew 6:25-26, NLT2)

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3, NLT2)

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. (Psalm 55:22, NIV)

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. (1 Peter 5:8-9, NLT2)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT2)

The apostles said to the Lord, “Show us how to increase our faith.” The Lord answered, “If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘May you be uprooted and thrown into the sea,’ and it would obey you!” (Luke 17:5-6, NLT2)

Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. (Ephesians 6:16, NIV)

Anger is a strong feeling of dislike, displeasure, or antagonism. It is connected to a host of other negative feelings and behaviors, including rage, hatred, bitterness, vengefulness, and violence.

What do you do if you are filled with rage or hatred or bitterness? What do you do if you are vengeful or violent? By God’s grace, you get rid of the sin of anger and replace it with the virtue of forgiveness.

Anger is an emotion that is set off when someone else has done something we do not like. We may be quite right in disliking what the other person has said or done. Sometimes, in fact, the offense is monstrous. But because the offense has a personal origin, the only way to free ourselves of the destructive emotion we feel and move ahead in life is to forgive the person who did wrong.

Of course, when we have been hurt, something inside us screams “No!” to the idea of forgiveness. It seems unjust. And do you know what? It is. When we forgive, we pay a price for a wrong that someone else has done. Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins on the cross. It was not just or fair, but He willingly did it so that mercy would triumph over justice. We follow in His footsteps when we forgive one who has committed an offense against us.

Another reason we might resist forgiving is that we conceive of unforgiveness as a type of revenge. We believe we are hurting the one who has hurt us if we withhold our forgiveness. That is foolish thinking. We are only hurting ourselves by holding on to a grudge.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean suddenly having a warm feeling toward the one who has hurt us. We choose to forgive and we pray that the loving feelings will follow. This is loving by faith.

And what about reconciliation? A restored relationship should be our goal whenever it is a possibility. When the one who has offended us is a fellow Christian, we can follow the guidelines of Matthew 18 to initiate a process of confrontation that starts privately and adds on pressure and publicity if needed. When the offender is a non-Christian, we can still seek restoration of our relationship by humbly approaching the other and discussing what happened.

But reconciliation requires two. The other person may be unwilling to admit the wrong he or she has done and seek to restore the relationship. Or maybe you are unable to reconcile with the other person. You may not know how to get in touch with the offender anymore, or perhaps that person has died. And if the other person still presents a threat to you, as in the case of an abuser, it might not even be wise to reestablish contact. In such cases, remember that you can still forgive the person. Unlike reconciliation, forgiveness requires only one.

Hard as it is, forgiveness is a blessing to us because it frees us from anger and all the ill effects that anger brings upon us.

[The above article is an extract from Chapter 11 of Soul Prescription by Bill Bright and Henry Brandt.]