“I’m married and attracted to another person to whom I’m not married.”
This is a comment I hear with increasing frequency coming from both men and women, Christian and non-Christian.
I’ve had individuals who can’t stand the sight of their married partner – much less respond physically – describe a torrid physical affair with someone else – sometimes even a stranger – who is not nearly as attractive or personable as the marriage partner. The new involvement is simply an expression of resentment or retaliation. Surely it is not an expression of the love of God.
Physical response is obviously not the problem. It’s a matter of the spirit … a matter of the will, not the body. Granted, there are temptations everywhere. When haven’t there been? After all, half the people in the world are women, the other half of the people are men. When you become a wife, all the men out there don’t disappear. Nor do the women disappear when a man gets married. They are there … and are still interesting and attractive.
Beautiful women and virile men were God’s idea, you know. You can enjoy the beauty and fellowship of both sexes without lusting after them. You can have many close friends of both sexes. Granted, these relationships sometimes are hard to handle.
Marriage involves a commitment to one person, even though other people are still there.
A child of God, with the love of God in their heart, who means to cooperate with their spouse, and who means to love, honor, and cherish their partner won’t have a sex problem – either with their partner or with someone else. However, there are conditions: You must take the Bible seriously and you must want to please your partner.
What if your partner gives you a cold shoulder in spite of your willingness to love them unconditionally? Stay available. Desire to do your part. Remember, your commitment is to God and does not depend on your partner’s response. Read God’s Word and ask Him to show you how to strengthen your marriage. He will sustain you. Love endures. Trust God to show you how to remain pure.
[Dr. Henry Brandt shares insights from various people he counseled. The names and certain details in these true case histories have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]