Apicontent

He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored. (Proverbs 13:18)

He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty. (Proverbs 28:19)

A stingy man is eager to get rich and is unaware that poverty awaits him. (Proverbs 28:22)

One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. (Proverbs 11:24)

In the previous chapter, we learned that there are three marks of the person rushing headlong to poverty: (1) laziness; (2) “cheap talk”, talk without action; and (3) substance abuse. In the verses which form the focus of this chapter, we discover more factors which launch one toward the poorhouse.

The fourth principle is disregard for discipline and correction as described in Proverbs 13:18. Picture the rebellious teenager, the ghetto gang member, the arrogant and unteachable know-it-all, the criminal recidivist, and the prodigal child. All possess one trait which will pretty much assure their poverty—refusal to accept correction and discipline. This refusal detours a person from the goal of self-sufficiency and prosperity. In my first seminar at a major stock brokerage company on investing, I was told, “Never invest bread money, never risk the roof over your head, and don’t be greedy.” On that last point, the stockbroker explained, “Bulls make money, and bears make money, but pigs never do.” If I had ignored his counsel, I might own no house, be sweating food for my family, and have insurmountable debt. Instead, I have all I need and owe nobody.

Principle: Wisdom and wealth are spouses in a covenant bond—as are stupidity and poverty. Only death separates them.

As a visionary with the gift of faith, I confess to being a “sucker for a big idea.” Give me a dream, an awesome scheme, or a global plan and watch me get a faraway look in my eyes. My staff used to make a motion like they were reeling in a kite when I would slip into this mode! Vision is a great gift and a lethal one. If the dream isn’t practical, it can consume immense time and money with nothing to show for it in the end.

The sages of Israel observed that “chasing fantasies” puts one on the freeway to the homeless shelter. How many times, consulting in entertainment, have I observed the proverbial “starving artist” living hand to mouth sure that “the big break” is just around the corner. I’ve seen writers, performers, and other creatives refuse to get any kind of regular work to sustain themselves for decades while they chase their dreams. Our organization has helped feed them, pay their rent, and ward off their debt collectors…without remedy. Folly.

Principle: The one who chases mirages in the desert will inevitably suffer from the thirst that each vanishing oasis creates. Only sacrifice in pursuit of God’s reality brings rewards.

Creating precedent for Jesus’ teaching that “In whatever measure you give it will be given back to you, Proverbs links poverty to stinginess! In more than one passage, giving generously is described as a key to material blessing. Hoarding or withholding from others is tied to impoverishment. It’s the upside-down Kingdom principle: lavish giving begets lavish receiving…and God’s blessing. I laugh inwardly when I hear some dreamer say, “If God makes me wealthy, I will give generously.” If one does not give in his “poverty,” he will never give in his prosperity. Someone has suggested that we should tithe on the income we’d like to have! Psalm 37:21 says, “The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously.”

Principle: Confounding all earthly economic principles, giving all you have is the key to being free from need and having ample to give more.

Show me a lazy, big-talking, substance-abusing, stingy rebel who chases dreams instead of working for them; and I’ll show you a person who is racing to a debtor’s prison. The Book says so.

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

When calamity overtakes you like a storm, and disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you, then they will call to Me but I will not answer; they will look for Me but will not find Me. Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord, since they would not accept my advice and spurned my rebuke, they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes. (Proverbs 1:27-31)

Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease without fear of harm. (Proverbs 1:33)

It’s called the “natural consequence method of discipline.” It works this way. You warn a person that if he drinks and then drives, he is going to be arrested for driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages (DUI). He refuses to listen to the warning. He is arrested for DUI. He calls you and asks you to bail him out of jail. You refuse. “Maybe a night in the slammer would teach him a lesson,” you say.

“That would be really mean,” some would say. “That would be really loving,” others might say. Any temporary affliction designed to terminate a more destructive pattern of behavior can hardly be unloving. The book of Hebrews says that, “The Lord disciplines those He loves and punishes everyone He accepts as a son” (Hebrews 12:5-6).

Principle: God has perfect hearing, but He has a sudden attack of “hearing impairment” when those who choose not to hear His wise, loving counsel close their ears to it.

There is one surefire way to get God’s ear to hear your pleas for help: repent and “listen up!”

The other side of the deafness coin is blessing—to the extent that we listen to and obey God’s law—there are rich blessings to enjoy! A Jewish friend and national radio show host was not all that observant to the laws of God. He was the epitome of a “secular Jew”. As such, he decided that he would conduct an experiment. “I thought I’d experiment by obeying God’s laws and see if they made any difference in my life.” Even without any personal commitment to God, he started to listen to and obey God’s laws as he saw them in the Scriptures. He says that the day he began that experiment, his life began to change in dramatic and fundamental ways. The promised blessings began to flow! For a number of years now, he has been on a quest to learn and obey God’s laws. His blessings are obvious to all. And there’s nothing “secular” about him anymore either!

Principle: God is eager to find even one person willing to obey His laws—eager to pour out His blessings, especially on those who love Him.

So what are we to do when God seems deaf to our cries for help? Make sure we are living in accord with His divine law. He listens to the prayers of the righteous. The unrighteous? Not so much. Also, He always hears prayers of repentance!

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

He who winks maliciously causes grief, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. (Proverbs 10:10)

Who winks with his eye, signals with his feet, and motions with his fingers, who plots evil with deceit in his heart—he always stirs up dissension. (Proverbs 6:13-14)

Picture the people of the Middle East. Long flowing robes, headbands, and…sunglasses! One might think that the glasses are to deal with the bright, desert sun. Yes…and no. You will see the glasses worn when the sun isn’t shining, even inside.

Often, they are worn to hide the wearer’s eyes when gaming or negotiating. You see, early on, Middle Easterners learn to read the eyes. They can tell if you have a good hand of cards or a bad hand by the dilation of the pupils or the tension in the muscles around the eyes, for example. In missionary training, we teach reading of “non­ verbal communication.” The position of the hands, arms, legs, and feet gives messages. The pitch of the voice, an “open” body position versus a “closed” one—they all speak volumes.

Solomon and his friends knew those secret messages well! They knew about the hidden signals that snooker a novice gambler and cheat him out of his winnings. A wink here, a shuffling of the feet there, a touching of the left ear twice—and the opponent wins another hand.

Principle: God wants us to play fair, but to be aware that our opponents may well cheat. Learning their deceitful ways is a good defense.

While there is a dispute over which mode of communication is the most trustworthy—spoken words or dilation of the pupils, for example—it seems clear that the communication method that cannot be consciously controlled can be trusted most. Speech tends to be less trustworthy than most nonverbal communication. Proverbs warns us about this.

Typically, nonverbal signals are used to cheat. They are tools of the trade for dishonest people. Picture your favorite Western movie in which one player in a poker game is caught cheating. You expect that the next scene is one of conflict, maybe a shoot-out! Proverbs predicts that cheating with secret signals “causes dissension.” You can count on it.

Principle: One “deceitful heart” causes conflict even if all the other hearts are honest.

PS. I haven’t even mentioned what the clothes you wear say about you. If a woman steps into public with her body parts only partially covered and the aroma of heavy perfume, she sends a message. Be sure the message is not, ‘I’m heading for my Bible study group.” The seductress in Proverbs 7:10 is described as “dressed like a prostitute.” Bad message.

Principle: We communicate in many ways; words are only one of them. Make sure that all your languages speak in uniform purity.

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow. (Proverbs 13:11)

The trustworthy person will get a rich reward, but a person who wants quick riches will get into trouble. (Proverbs 28:20)

One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. (Proverbs 11:24)

I dare you! Go to Las Vegas (a.k.a. “Lost Wages”) and rent a billboard on The Strip proclaiming, “Get rich slowly. Be a multi-millionaire in thirty years.” Leave a phone number. Then rent a second billboard with the same message but “in thirty days,” not thirty years. Compare the number of calls you get to each number.

Is it fair to assume that you will get ten times more calls to the “thirty-day” message? Do you think anyone sits at a casino gaming table hoping to get rich slowly? I doubt it. Any investment advisor can show you how small an amount invested at 7 percent and compounded with dividends adds to $1,000,000.

King Solomon understood working with money. He was one of the wealthiest kings in the world. He also understood greed…and impatience. American impatience and greed are known around the world. We want “instant everything.”

Principle: The one who is driven to get rich quickly (1) is vulnerable to scams—”too-good-to-be-true”—schemes, (2) risks rationalizing questionable (even illegal) financial schemes, and (3) sets himself up for losing everything.

There is a maxim in investing which declares, “Bulls make money; bears make money; but pigs never do!” I know two Christian businessmen who “cut some corners” to cut deals they “just couldn’t pass up” and ended up serving prison time. They lost the time they thought they were saving to get rich! There are better ways and better places than a prison to start a “cell group.”

Principle: God gives people the ability to get wealth. Jesus taught that the “gift of acquiring” enables the gift of giving. As we give, we receive, not the other way around.

My wife and I tested the principle that you cannot outgive God. We both came from tithing families and gave 10 percent off the top of our income the first year of our marriage. At the end of the year, we did our taxes and realized that God had blessed us wonderfully. I admitted feeling “cheap” that we had given God only 10 percent!

“Honey, do you think God would enable us to give Him 20 percent this year?” She agreed to try if He enabled us. At the end of the year, with no more income coming in, I realized we were short $300 of our 20 percent giving for the year. I apologized to God for the short­fall and acknowledged that it was not bad intent, just bad math! Surprisingly, we received a $500 Christmas gift, so we gave God the $300 we owed Him, 20 percent of the remaining $200, and still had $160 left over! We rejoiced!

I asked Donna Lynn, “How far do you think we could push this? Think we can give an additional 5 percent each year to see God’s faithfulness?” We decided to try the plan. Later, when we were giving a higher percentage than we could deduct on our taxes (more than 50 percent), I had to seek counsel from a tax attorney for solutions! We got to about 70 percent when it became not “How much do we give?” but “How much dare we keep?” The flow of miracles and attendant blessings was overwhelming. Try outgiving God! You can’t do it!

Principle: We are to give until it hurts, then keep giving until it stops hurting. The tithe (10 percent of the “first fruits’) is the starting point of giving. Give a percentage of the income you’d like to receive.

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices; when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy. (Proverbs 11:10)

A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hot-headed and reckless. A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated. (Proverbs 14:16- 17)

Most people give little thought to the response of the populace at their death. For most, it’s a wake, a memorial service, a public obituary, some public grieving, a respectful burial, and a marker stone in a cemetery.

Prominent people—especially politically powerful ones—leave a more significant mark on society and history. Such is the case with Herod the Great (37 – 4 BC). A violent and paranoid king, Herod appears in the account of Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem (Matthew 2) and is the man credited with commanding the slaughter of all male children under two years of age in his realm…in a failed attempt to destroy the reported “King of the Jews—Jesus.” Herod killed one of his ten wives, two of her sons, her brother, her grandfather, her mother, three of his fourteen children, and assorted other enemies and “friends.” He tried desperately to kill Jesus. Imagine the number of people thrilled to have King Herod gone!

Anticipating the public rejoicing at his death, King Herod selected well-loved public figures and ordered that they be called to the capitol at his death and murdered…so the grief from their murders would drown out the rejoicing over his death. Thankfully, his son and his sister refused to carry out the order.

There were shouts of joy at the news of Herod’s passing. For good reason!

Principle: At your death, you have a choice—people cheering your character or cheering your departure. Only you can decide.

Solomon and his associates explain how you end up being hated. It isn’t that hard, really. Rephrasing Proverbs 14:16-17 above, (1) you act a fool, (2) let your anger run out of control, and (3) be cunning and conniving. That ought to do it! It worked for King Herod.

Principle: The easiest way to draw contempt from others is to sow contemptible motives and behaviors in your dealings with them; sow grace and kindness, and you will usually reap grace and kindness.

Proverbs 12:25 suggests that “an anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”

I was once on the studio lot at Sony/Columbia Pictures waiting for the tram which operates around the spacious studio. As I waited, I observed a man in a work uniform with a broom and a scoop picking up gum wrappers, cigarette butts, and other refuse.

“Sir,” I said, “I want to thank you for your work. Watching you, I was thinking what a mess this lot would be if you were not doing what you are doing. You are very important here.”

At first, it was as if he was not sure I was talking to him. Then, he straightened up, looked me in the eye, and told me that he was the third generation of his family “in show business.” As I boarded the tram, he pursued the litter with his shoulders up and a smile on his countenance. It appeared that one kind comment and a listening ear had made his day!

Principle: One never knows how large a lever a kind word is to lift a sagging spirit and offload a heavy burden.

Kindness can cause a city to rejoice! If only Herod had known.

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

The wicked borrow and don’t repay, but the righteous give generously. (Psalms 37:21)

Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely. (Psalms 112:5)

The one who is gracious to the poor lends to the LORD, and the LORD will repay him for his good deed. (Proverbs 19:17)

An old American proverb declares, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” While there may be some good sense in that statement, it is not a biblical position. The Scriptures direct the righteous to be lenders (but not borrowers). The verse above says to lend freely.

The problem with being a generous lender is that there are borrowers who don’t repay their debts leaving the righteous lender on the hook for the loaned money. The psalmist labels these folks “wicked.” Whatever they are called, the righteous lender is still the one who gets ripped off.

The last time I made a list, I think it was fifteen people I lent to who did not repay me. All were professed Christians too… and in some pretty big numbers! I used to waste time and energy grousing about those on my “deadbeat” list until I read in Jesus’ “awful” speech about loving enemies and going the second mile that we also were to “lend and not expect repayment” (Luke 6:34). Silly me. The reason I was stressed was because I obviously was expecting repayment.

It took me a number of years to get past the “not expecting repayment” factor. (Smile.) When making a loan, I have to say to myself, “This person may not pay me back. It’s okay, God. I know You will repay the loss”—and He has—every time. I haven’t missed a meal. When I have a stock investment do surprisingly well, I thank the Lord for the loan repayment and chalk it up to His blessing.

Principle: God always makes sure that generous, righteous lenders get repaid…from some source. He commonly covers the repayment Himself.

While I am on the subject, let me toss in some advice to those with outstanding payments on money you have borrowed. There are two absolute “musts.” First, you must communicate frequently and regularly. Silence communicates many messages…all bad (You don’t care. You’ve decided not to repay. All your other needs are higher priority than the loan repayment, etc.). Second, you must make some small regular payments (even $50 a month?) to show good faith. True deadbeats (the “wicked”) do neither of these things. They hide and make no partial payments.

A friend told me that his dad had some people in his world that he didn’t like and didn’t respect, so he would purposely loan them money. They wouldn’t repay, they’d hide, and he’d never see them again! He figured the money the borrower didn’t repay was a fair price not to have them in his life.

Principle: Failure to repay borrowed money costs you a lot more than the value of what was borrowed. It costs you your reputation and, most likely, a friendship.

I worked in a men’s wear store in high school and college. A poor farmer asked the store owner if he could buy a new suit and make payments of a dollar a week. The owner trusted him, and every Saturday morning when the farmer came to town, the first thing he did was stop by the store and make the one-dollar payment on his suit. You could set your clock by his visit.

As the farmer walked out the door one Saturday, the owner said to me, “I’d loan that guy anything he wanted. Then, I have these guys from Country Club Drive who charge hundreds of dollars worth of clothes, and I never hear from them again. They ignore my overdue invoices.”

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up: a servant who becomes king, a godless fool who gets plenty to eat, a contemptible woman who gets married, and a servant who displaces her mistress. (Proverbs 30:21–23)

I lived in an earthquake country for four decades. I mean real earth­quake country as in “San Andreas Fault land.” I know the terror that can overtake a region when the earth starts to shake and move. I saw the devastation of the 1994 Northridge, California, quake when it shook so hard that loaded file cabinets punched holes in the ceiling and overpass pillars poked through the freeways.

I’ve also witnessed moral earthquakes, times when the upheaval and destruction are caused by the upending of societal righteousness by those driven by the seismic power of unbridled evil. Think Adolf Hitler. Think Saddam Hussein. Think Idi Amin.

In the passage above, the sages of Solomon cite four shifts in the tectonic plates of life that reduce homes, communities, and nations to rubble. The last two—a mistress who wins the heart of a husband from his wife and a wretched, contemptible woman who marries­ destroy the peace and cohesion of family relationships. They wreak havoc by introducing flawed characters into the fragile balance of love and commitment that sustain a righteous home and family.

Principle: No grand dreams of love and happiness and no firm resolve to sustain commitment until death ends it can save a marriage or family if even one of the spouses lacks righteous character. Character is the foundation on which all stable relationships are built.

A whole community can be rocked by the second situation, a fool who prospers. As his financial blessings keep him well fed, a fool is increasingly able to flaunt his folly, fund his excesses, and violate the laws of God and man. Every community has at least one “rich jerk” who operates on the premise that his success is validation that the rules don’t apply to him. When this happens, all hell breaks loose.

Principle: God must keep some fools poor because He knows that if He let them prosper, they would have the means to multiply their folly and its disastrous consequences.

The situation described first in this quartet of proverbs I call the Idi Amin Syndrome. Idi Amin Dada Oumee was the third president of Uganda from 1971 to 1979. Rising from poverty through the ranks of the British colonial regiment, he seized power in a military coup. Mad with power as the ruler of the nation, Idi reigned by human rights abuses, political repression, ethnic cleansing, arbitrary killings, nepotism, corruption, and gross economic mismanagement. Estimates of those slaughtered range upward to half a million.

As one from the peasant class, Amin “made the earth tremble” when he gained power. The same dynamic operates in politicians and televangelists who rise to fame and fortune from nothing and lose all moral centering…because they are unfamiliar with the world of affluence and influence. It surely explains the Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber character meltdowns. I think this principle even explains why Billy Graham didn’t get seduced by his favor and blessings. He came from Southern comfortability, respect, and godly character at the start.

Principle: Unless there is familiarity with wealth and power coupled to godliness, a person rising to sudden affluence and celebrity tends to lose all impulse control and to bring chaos to his own life and the lives of those he touches.

Between these moral tremors and quakes under which no family or nation can stand, obedience to the law of a holy God stabilizes the continental shelves of society.

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. (Proverbs 6:16–19, NIV)

The Ten Commandments of Exodus 20 have become “controversial” in the U.S. There are movements of radicals who want them removed from schools and public places. Far be it from any society ­much less one founded on Judea-Christian virtues—to decry publicly behaviors like stealing, lying, adultery, atheism, covetousness, and murder! But focus on the Big Ten sometimes removes attention from the hundreds of commands, exhortations, principles, and guidelines the Scriptures contain outside of Exodus and the Torah.

The passage above is one example. It describes seven attributes that God “hates.” It would seem self-evident that anyone with a scintilla of fear of God would try to avoid things on His “hate shortlist”!

The seven are not isolated from each other. I think they often come as a package. People who are quick to rush into evil are probably not hesitant to lie, devise wicked schemes, stir up conflict, and strut around with a proud look or “haughty eyes.” People who are proud liars might well be more likely to stir up conflict, and so on.

Principle: Evil behavior is like cancer; it seldom is seen in a single cell but commonly in a “mass” of interconnected, rapidly multiplying, sinful practices.

If lying is no big deal in this culture, condemning a proud or “haughty” look is clearly absurd. The “IT” look is the trademark of Hollywood men and women, fashion magazines, the red carpet, and a host of other venues. Why would God make such a big deal about it? Simple. An arrogance that shows itself in external demeanor, clothing, accessories, and such provides State Exhibit A that the person is not “clothed in humility.” Such a person—never humbled before God—perceives himself or herself as personally godlike. God stands no rivals…because He has no real ones.

Principle: The root of most other behaviors God hates is self-exaltation. Only those who get to the place where they recognize that life is all about God and nothing about their ego are truly blessed.

I’ve already dealt with lying in other portions of these short essays. But I can’t resist emphasizing that, as stated here, lying made the short list of things God hates—two of the seven! This seems nonsensical in a culture in which lying is “no big deal.” Advertisers misrepresent their products, PR people “spin” to us, people who swear an oath to tell the truth in court perjure themselves, even high officials in government lie to us making promises they have no intention of keeping then using cover-up lies when they are caught. Let no one deceive you; lying is a big deal to God.

Principle: A lie is the first drill hole in the Levee of Trust before the flood of falsehood inundates everyone secured by the protective wall of integrity.

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. (Proverbs 17:1)

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging [spouse]. (Proverbs 21:19)

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome [spouse]. (Proverbs 21:9)

I heard of a woman whose husband complained that “he needed his space.” So she locked him out of the house. Obviously, that residence was a house, not a home. There is so much strife in families today that homes with tranquility, trust, love, and respect are in the 3 percent range. With the pace of life and work, family members pass like trains in the night taking little time to communicate, share, love, and bond. The result is not a “home” but a motel with relatives.

All the while, family members focus on money and material things. They think that a “dream home” is an expensive new structure when really it is a spiritual bond of love and communication. Proverbs lays domestic false notions bare. Solomon knew that peace and tranquility were more nonnegotiable for a functional family than sufficient wealth to have perpetual feasting.

Principle: Bricks and mortar do not make a home. No matter how beautiful or lavish a residence may be, it is only a container for the spiritual interaction among the inhabitants.

A friend describes people who have “taken the fun out of dysfunction.” In marriage counseling, I have often listened to the most vicious, hurtful, and destructive talk coming from the two. Then I have taken them back to the days when they were so in love they couldn’t bear to be separated and couldn’t wait until they could occupy the same space. Then I ask where they went wrong. Proverbs says that two factors in this dysfunction are quarreling and badgering (nagging). The opposite is “Speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs” according to the apostle Paul.

Principle: Harmonious interpersonal communication is the Spirit-inspired expression of two hearts in tune with God and each other. Unloving speech is the language of warfare…for which homes are not designed.

It is no wonder that marrieds—and their kids—often feel so oppressed by the tension, conflict, rejection, criticism, hostility, and abuse of their families that they are desperate to “get away” or “get some space.” Proverbs understands this desperation and affirms that a desert space or an attic room is more pleasant than living in the middle of continual conflict.

Principle: Family issues are not solved by “getting your own space.” The violence and conflict of a bad home will follow you. Allowing God to heal the conflict is the only solution.

“Home, sweet home” is the name for a domicile filled with the Spirit of Jesus.

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise use knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. (Proverbs 15:1, NKJV)

And there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious; her feet would not stay at home. (Proverbs 7:10–11, NKJV)

The church custodian was cleaning the platform after the weekend services and discovered the pastor’s notes still on the pulpit. Curious, the custodian read through the notes until he came to a scribble in the margin which read, “Point weak; shout louder.” Interesting.

A couple came to me for marriage counsel and, in the middle of the session, started raising their voices as they talked to each other…more and more. Soon—as if I were not even in the room—they were yelling at each other! I could only imagine how they must have screamed at each other when no one else was present.

Who would have thought that there would be a biblical doctrine of “soft communication”? But when you think of it, consider who yells: angry people, bossy people, people who are insecure in their authority, people who are insistent on being heard over others, boisterously arrogant people, rebellious people, and such. Solomon had learned a key principle, namely, that soft speech has great benefits. He declared that soft words dispel anger in communication; loud harsh words just fuel it.

Principle: Raising one’s voice sets off an interpersonal “arms race” in which anger and even greater anger and yelling results; soft, gentle words assuage anger and halt the escalation.

Every home has a definable range of decibels in its interaction. I have a friend who grew up in the home of a tough Philadelphia welder in which he got used to “high-volume” communication. When he married, his wife would say, “Don’t yell at me!” and he would reply, “I’m not yelling!”

Loud speech is one indicator of a heart and soul that are not at peace. The Spirit of Christ floods the being with a “silent solace” and inner security that voids the need to yell and scream. Turbulent spirits roar, shout, and scream.

Principle: When you catch yourself cranking up the volume in your communication, stop and ask God to quiet your spirit. A quiet spirit—even in the most intense interaction—will generate a conversation that sheds light rather than shouts and screams that generate heat.

Interesting, isn’t it, that Solomon links loud, boisterous communication to rebellious, immoral people? He profiles a street prostitute as one marked by a spirit of rebellion and loud, defiant speech. It is automatic that people living in rebellion against God’s Law eventually morph into people with an “attitude” which defies all who challenge their lifestyle or values. “We’re here and we’re queer!” or a gay “pride” parade may be examples of this.

Principle: The godly person is quiet before God and tranquilly submissive to His authority. Nobody goes unpunished for yelling at God and defying His directives.

The apocryphal church pastor with the “shout louder” note in his sermon notes had to learn that his impact on a congregation was tied to his virtue, not his volume!

[from “Wisdom for the Trenches” by Dr. Larry W. Poland]