Are you critical of others? Do your words sometimes harm your relationships? Do you desire to tame your tongue? Divisiveness’s family of behaviors includes gossip, slander, arguing, criticism, and judgmentalism. These can be replaced by harmony.
Discover how to overcome divisiveness in its various forms through time-tested insights that really work!
Are You Divisive?
The following self-evaluation quiz will help you determine whether you have a tendency toward conflict.
- Right now, are you engaged in a “hot” or “cold” war with anybody?
- How often do you argue and quarrel with others? Do you raise your voice?
- Do you tell stories about others that they would prefer not to be spread around?
- Do you ever make up (or exaggerate) stories to put your enemies in a bad light?
- Is it more important to you to get people on your side than it is to help reach agreement within a group you are a part of?
- Do you take delight in pointing out the faults of others?
- Do you condemn the piety or morality of others?
- Do you have a reputation as someone who is hard to get along with?
Divisiveness: Disturbing the Peace
Divisiveness can be a problem in any type of team or group. But in a church group, particularly, unity is essential to bearing fruit. It is as we are all in one accord that we move ahead, under the Spirit’s direction, to the future that God has for us. God bids us, as much as it is possible, to “live in peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). When an individual is picking a fight with someone else or setting one part of a group against another, he or she is at fault before God and the body.
Some people seem to have a knack for contributing to a conflict so that strife grows and grows. Maybe it is starting shouting matches with family members. Maybe it is alienating friends by talking about them behind their back. Maybe it is creating divisions in teams and groups. In any case, such people have a problem that calls for more than learning better social behavior; it is really a sin habit we are talking about. (read more)
Five Steps to Overcome Divisiveness
Are you struggling with a habit of being divisive? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps included in this process. (read more)
Finding Freedom – A True Story
Zoe Marks was a decisive woman, one who made up her mind on the spot. She always said that if she married it would be to an equally decisive man.
She saw in Douglas Hill just such a man. They had time for only two dates before the close of the Bible conference where they met. Zoe went back to her job and Doug back to graduate studies in mine engineering. Each promised to write often.
Zoe likes the letters that came from Doug, letters that came often as fall led into winter and winter into spring. One day Doug’s letter asked pointedly, “Are you willing to be the wife of a mining engineer? If so, will you marry me?” (read more)
I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. (1 Corinthians 1:10, NIV)
You are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world? (1 Corinthians 3:3, NLT2)
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. (Romans 12:18, NASB95)
A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. (Proverbs 11:13, NLT2)
Slandering others makes you a fool. (Proverbs 10:18, NLT2)
Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin. (Proverbs 17:19, NLT2)
Why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. (Romans 14:10, NLT2)