Our happiness is not something that happens to us. It is something you and I have control over. God’s Word has so much to teach us about how we can make choices that will help us to experience not only his perfect plan for our lives, but his peace and joy and contentment.
This book has been about choosing behavior, words, feelings and emotions, and goals that reflect God’s way of living, ways of living that will bring us happiness. You can join the ranks of people who find happiness no matter what their situation is. You can enjoy life in the face of a financial failure, a less than exciting marriage, or a job setback. You can handle maddening daily schedules and get beyond everyday frustrations. You can handle your lonely moments. You can experience happiness and contentment. Because God can empower you to choose to be happy.
It seems that each one of us believes that we are unique—no one else has ever faced the problem we are facing, no one else has ever lived with the person we need to live with, no one else has ever had to tolerate the crazy co-worker we deal with every day. And all of that is probably true. Each one of us is unique, and yet, a common thread binds us all together and runs through the fabric of our existences. We may not have the exact same circumstances, but the theme is common: disagreement between people, inner turmoil, and eventually retaliation or some other reaction to gain relief from our unhappiness. And we all like to place the cause of our distress outside of ourselves. We like to think that we have been mistreated or misunderstood and therefore we are relived of any responsibility to live right and to be a loving person.
But each one of us has a source of power, the Holy Spirit, and we have a guide book, the Bible. People have stumbled over the simple secrets of Christian living for centuries. However, many individuals who have received Christ as Savior still want to live as though they do not need a Savior. They continue to depend on personality, will power, charm intellectual power, influence, or authority—only to discover that human effort can only get them so far. What we need to do is unreservedly turn to God and his Word to be empowered to choose attitudes, behaviors, and words that will bring the peace and joy that only God can give.
We have spent the entirety of this book sharing accounts of individuals who lost sight of the right way to live … and many of them discovered that they were able to embrace God’s plans and purposes and redirect their situations.
By now I hope you know that your happiness does not depend on your circumstances or on what other people do. It depends on how you choose to meet every situation in your life.
Are You Willing to Embrace Your Own Behavior and Responses?
Joy talked a mile a minute. Her face was flushed, her muscles tense, her eyes flashed with anger. Her husband was a successful executive for a large company. She was involved in the community, the unofficial hostess at every church dinner, a woman who kept her home neat and efficient. She talked about everything, except the problem that had brought her to my office. She was a woman with many blessings, but Joy was anything but joyful.
“Joy—”
But she was not about to be stopped by the interruption of her counselor. She started quoting Scripture. Throughout her tirade she interjected again and again Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” I felt I was on the losing side of a filibuster, so I simply let her talk until she ran out of things to say.
Finally, she stopped talking. Then, since it was evident that her words concerning peace were not reflected in her life, I attempted to lead her back to discover what her words were hiding. I tried to guide her to the realization that she was a perfectionist who pushed herself to the limit every day and who became resentful when others stopped for a coffee break. I attempted to show her that she was trying to talk herself into being a happy person, but she was full of tension and anxiety from her annoyance with others.
We experience happiness when we yield to God
and allow his joy and peace to invade our souls.
As we continued to talk, she seemed to understand that peace was not a result of others’ conformity to her plans, but of receiving it from God. But then, she looked at me and dismissed everything we had been talking about by saying, “Oh, I’m just so confused.”
As it turned out, Joy always used this “confusion” as an excuse to turn away from facing herself. And whenever she became “confused,” she also suffered periods of depression.
As she left my office after our third session, I reminded her, “God is not the author of confusion” (see 1 Corinthians 14:33).
It took several more weeks before Joy was willing to admit the truth to herself. Something in her life was not right. She finally embraced the truth that she was a perfectionist who expected others to perform at her level. Step by step she went back over her life to identify points of confusion, times when anger and anxiety had ruled in her heart. Repenting of her resentments and forgiving others, she was able to refocus her attention on the Lord and trust him. The peace of God became a reality to her and she was transformed.
My conversations with many people over the years has taught me that we experience happiness when we yield to God and allow his joy and peace to invade our souls. There is no promise of a smooth life. We all face our share of perplexities. But we are not alone! We have a God who loves us and is waiting to fill us with his peace and joy. Are you willing to choose to live life God’s way?
Questions for Reflection/Discussion:
- In what ways is God’s Word guiding you as you seek to experience happiness? What steps do you need to take to allow the Bible to influence you in a greater way?
- As you have worked your way through this book, in what ways are you beginning to embrace your own behavior and responses to situations and individuals?
- What principles from this book have had the greatest impact on you? How can you continue to live out these principles?
Memorize: Isaiah 26:3–4
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.
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