Are you struggling with being deceitful in some way? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.
Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God
God is truth. To view Him in any other way will only serve to justify your deceitful behavior.
God is absolute truth. He cannot lie and He does not change His standards.
God is not a man, so He does not lie. (Numbers 23:19)
God is righteous, and He abhors dishonesty in every form.
Because what you say is false and your visions are a lie, I will stand against you, says the Sovereign LORD. (Ezekiel 13:8)
What is your view of God with respect to honesty and dishonesty? Go to Scripture and review every passage that talks about God’s truthfulness. Don’t fool yourself. God will not tolerate lies and deceitfulness.
Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs
If you believe that your deceitfulness is justified or excusable for any reason, you are wrong. Perhaps mistaken views of yourself, other people, or how life works are making it harder for you to be truthful.
Do you believe your “little white lies” do no harm?
Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow. (Proverbs 25:18)
Do you believe others are yours to “use”?
Do to others as you would like them to do to you. (Luke 6:31)
Do you believe the end justifies the means and thus makes your deceitfulness okay?
Stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. (Ephesians 4:25)
Use scriptural truth about deceitfulness and honesty to expose errors in your thinking. Ask the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of truth, to help you first understand the truth and then speak the truth to others.
Step 3: Repent of Your Sin
In what way are you deceitful? Identify it specifically. Then if you are prepared to give up this sin, pray a prayer of confession. A model prayer is presented below for your use, or you can pray in your own words.
God of truth, I have been deceitful by _________. This was a sin against You, and I am sorry for it. Please forgive me. Make me clean again, and fill me with Your power to help me remain clean of deceitfulness from this point on. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray, amen.
If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.
Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks
Your spiritual enemies—the world, the flesh, and the Devil—would like nothing better than to see you backslide into a pattern of deceitfulness. Beware of their wiles!
- The world system does not value honesty the way God does. The world’s values would tell us to use deceitfulness if it will help us get ahead. We can overcome such an influence by immersing ourselves in God’s value system. Develop the importance He places on honesty.
- Your flesh, or sinful nature, will tempt you to enjoy that self-reliant feeling that comes with trying to manipulate events through deceit. Do not give in to the craving! Your flesh is dead. You are a spiritual being now, living according to the Holy Spirit.
- Satan will make it as easy and as appealing for you to deceive others as possible. Put on the “belt of truth” (Ephesians 6:14) to help you discern true from false and remain committed to truth-telling.
Be ever vigilant in defense against your spiritual foes. The attacks will not cease. Accessing the great power of God will empower you to be successful in every battle.
Step 5: Flee Temptation
You will never be able to completely avoid the temptation to return to your old deceitful ways. But there are specific steps you can take to reduce your exposure and susceptibility to temptation.
Focus on your relationship with God.
Spend time regularly cultivating your relationship with God. In particular, make Bible study a consistent discipline in your life. Constant exposure to the truth will make you a more truthful person.
Latch on to God’s promises.
Identify assurances in Scripture that make you more confident of winning over your sin of deceitfulness. Store assurances away in your mind as ammunition when the battle with temptation comes.
God has given both His promise and His oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to Him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. (Hebrews 6:18)
Establish safeguards.
Why not make holiness as easy for yourself as possible? Think of ways you can cut off common temptations. Here are examples of the kinds of changes you can make for the better:
- If you cheat on your taxes, hire a tax preparer next year and make all your records available to this person.
- If you defraud your employer by falsifying your timesheet, ask a friend on your work team to verify its accuracy each week.
- If you naturally resort to flattery, practice ahead of time what you can say in favor of a person without lying.
- Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not deceive others.
Expect victory.
You are a new person in Christ Jesus. The Holy Spirit lives in you. He wants to create an honest heart in you. Seek His help as you eliminate deceit and adopt honesty in your life. As long as you are cooperating with Him, you cannot lose! Praise God!