Are you struggling with some type of dissatisfaction, such as envy, complaining, or greed? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps in this article.
Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God
Flaws in your view of God can easily produce dissatisfaction in your life. For example, you may have made the mistake of looking to God as your own personal genie who should grant your every wish. On the other hand, you may see Him as some miserly old hermit who would not give a bone to a dog. Either viewpoint would greatly affect your ability to be content and satisfied.
God is sovereign, and He is in control of your life.
With my great strength and powerful arm I made the earth and all its people and every animal. I can give these things of Mine to anyone I choose. (Jeremiah 27:5)
God is faithful. He will always do what is best for us.
So the LORD must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for His help. (Isaiah 30:18)
Through searching the Scriptures, learn more about God as Sovereign Lord. As you do so, consider how flaws in your view of God might be at the root of your problem of dissatisfaction. Ask God to help you understand Him as He really is.
Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs
The belief that we deserve everything we want and more does not line up with God’s Holy Word. The belief that happiness comes with possessions or position is in direct opposition to God’s truth. Such examples of false beliefs about people and life can fuel dissatisfaction. Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you believe you would be happy if you had more money?
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
Do you believe you would be happy if you looked different?
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:3–4)
Do you believe you would be happy if you had a better job?
Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. (1 Corinthians 7:17)
These questions reveal false beliefs that breed discontentment. Other such false beliefs are possible. Spend time searching the Word for its perspective on contentment. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where your thinking has fallen off track and then accept the truth.
Step 3: Repent of Your Sin
Are you ready to turn away from dissatisfaction? Begin by specifically identifying the way you tend to be dissatisfied (envy, ingratitude, or whatever). Next, pray a prayer of confession to God. If you wish, you may use the one below, inserting the name of your sin of dissatisfaction in the blank.
God, I know that everything I have is a gift from You. Yet I have been dissatisfied through __________. I realize that my discontentment is born from a selfish and sinful heart, and I am truly sorry for my attitude. Please forgive me and wash all the discontentment out of my heart. Make me able to put __________ behind me for good and learn to be content. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.
Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks
Remember, you must always be on your guard against attack from the three enemies of your soul: the world, the flesh, and the Devil. They will conspire to draw you back to your old habits of dissatisfaction.
- The world’s value system perpetuates dissatisfaction as it preaches, “Always want more and better.” Expose yourself to God’s truth to the point that you have fully understood that a life of contentment is the best way to live.
- Your flesh, or sinful nature, will continue to crave its old objects of desire, whether it is more money, possessions, or people. Tell yourself every day, “My flesh is dead. I live by the Spirit now.” Rely on the Holy Spirit for help in every temptation.
- Satan uses our neighbor’s standard of living to breed discontent in our hearts. Put on “salvation as your helmet” (Ephesians 6:17) for protection from poisonous thoughts of envy.
Keep on the lookout for any temptation that would draw you back into your old ways of dissatisfaction. Seek God’s strength to defend against spiritual attacks. His strength is sufficient.
Step 5: Flee Temptation
We are told in James 1:14 that the source of temptation lies in “our own desires.” The desire for more, or for something different and new, is a catalyst for dissatisfaction. This desire must be kept under control over the long term by taking certain precautions.
Focus on your relationship with God.
Do not be satisfied with a brief quiet time in the morning and a trip to church once a week. Develop a devotional life that spreads into your whole existence. As you keep your thoughts on God and His kingdom, instead of the things of this world, you will be less susceptible to temptations of dissatisfaction.
Latch on to God’s promises.
Find verses in the Bible that are meaningful to you in your battle against dissatisfaction. Memorize these verses and recall them whenever temptation strikes. Here are two verses for your consideration:
If God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. (Matthew 6:30)
The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. (Psalm 84:11)
Establish safeguards.
Make changes in your life that will keep you away from the most common temptations that have produced dissatisfaction for you. Be creative, and come up with as many changes as will help you. Then, don’t forget to implement them!
Consider these examples to spark your own ideas:
- If you find yourself envying something another person possesses, immediately thank God for one blessing He has given you.
- If you tend to be greedy, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other ministry to the poor that will help you see how comfortable you really are.
- Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not be so dissatisfied.
Expect victory.
Remember that success in defeating the habitual sin of dissatisfaction can be found in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. He is always working in you to make you more like Jesus, which includes being content. Yield to Him daily in anticipation of deliverance from the crippling habit of dissatisfaction.