Are you struggling with a habit of sexual immorality? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.
Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God
An incorrect view of God that sees Him as some kind of wishy-washy being who will simply look the other way when you sin will keep you in the vicious cycle of immorality.
God is holy and cannot tolerate sexual immorality.
God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
God is present everywhere. There is no place you can hide your sin.
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable. (Hebrews 4:13)
Make no mistake about it: God sees your sexual sin for what it is. He does not look away, and you cannot hide it from Him. Pursue a study of God’s holiness and justice in Scripture. Admit to yourself that He sees and judges what you are doing.
Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs
The false ideas from the world, related to sexuality, are almost unending. The harm they produce in people’s lives is almost unending as well. Just for starters, consider these self-evaluation questions:
Do you believe your sexual immorality is acceptable?
Some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. (Jude 1:4)
Do you believe your sexual desires are impossible to resist?
Dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. (Romans 8:12)
Given the ease with which we can unknowingly adopt false beliefs about human sexuality, we need to work hard to understand the truth about how God made us to be sexual beings. Using a concordance or topical Bible, learn more about God’s views on sexuality. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the truth about your sin and to help you change your thinking.
Step 3: Repent of Your Sin
Do you use pornography? Have you been cheating on your spouse? Have you been dressing immodestly to get attention? Whatever your form of immorality has been, do not duck it—admit it to yourself and name it. Pray a prayer like the following, asking God to forgive your sin and empower your obedience.
God, I am guilty of the sin of _________. I know that my immoral behavior is wrong and that it causes You great pain, and I am truly sorry for that. Please forgive me for my sin. Cleanse me now of this sin and of its effects in my life. Fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit so that I may never return to this sin again. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray, amen.
If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.
Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks
You will be attacked in your area of weakness—count on it. Every time you turn on your TV, log on to the Internet or walk out your front door, the enemies of your soul will be there. Watch out for the world, the flesh, and the Devil.
The world’s values about sexuality are not God’s values. The world system tells you, “There is nothing wrong with two consenting adults finding pleasure in each other’s bodies.” But God says, “Your body was not created for sexual immorality. It does not belong to you; it belongs to Me.” Become so familiar with God’s values on sexuality that you can immediately see the error in the world’s values.
Your flesh (your sinful nature) will seek the pleasure of the flesh (your body) in the same old sinful ways you have known. Remember that the flesh (as your old sinful nature) is dead, having been crucified with Christ. You have been raised as a new person by the Holy Spirit. Live by the Spirit and not by the flesh.
Satan will set out the bait of sexual immorality for you. Protect yourself from these darts of temptation with the “shield of faith” (Ephesians 6:16). Then the Devil’s suggestions that you can find true happiness by doing something forbidden will fall harmless to the ground.
Most likely, you will need a defense against temptation for a long time. Prepare for a prolonged battle, yet keep up your hope, because God is stronger than all your foes.
Step 5: Flee Temptation
Sexual temptation can be hard to avoid. The roots of sexual desire run deep and feed off many different stimuli. If you are to remain free from this habitual sin, you must learn to avoid the things that feed it as much as possible.
Focus on your relationship with God.
Seek a rich spiritual relationship through regular worship of God. Physical stimulation through sinful means will then seem less appealing to you.
Latch on to God’s promises.
Find biblical statements or stories that encourage you in your fight against sexual immorality. Commit at least one verse to memory so that you can use it in your fight against temptation, just as Jesus used Scripture against the Devil in the desert. Here is one verse to consider using:
You are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (Romans 8:9)
Establish safeguards.
What sets off your lustful acts? Put a barrier between that sinful trigger and yourself if you can. Take as many practical precautions to guard yourself. For example,
- Immediately break off any immoral relationship you have.
- If you rent pornographic DVDs, get rid of your DVD player. Or if you go to sexually explicit websites, install filtering software.
- If you tend to dwell on lustful thoughts, choose a substitute image to put in your mind.
- If you have homosexual tendencies, seek a Christian counselor skilled in reparative therapy.
- Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to remain sexually pure.
- Expect victory.
You may have fallen to sexual immorality in the past, but that does not mean you cannot know sexual purity now. Believe in God and in the path toward holiness that only He can bring.