The use of words is the most common subject that comes up when people come to see me for counseling. With words, we compliment and praise one another. Our words can be comforting, helpful, supportive, and instructive, revealing all the good things that are on our mind. At the same time, words can cut, hurt, or tear someone up without leaving a mark. They can be used to deceive, mislead, or conceal what is on our mind. Words are helpful and hurtful. Words are a tool for communication, but they can also complicate situations as they get tangled up with our emotions.
In Proverbs 15 we read this about our words:
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. —v. 1
Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. —v. 4
The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words. —v. 28
Many people have long ago forgotten the spankings received as a child but can recall vividly some of the tongue lashings and hostile criticisms received along the way. Married couples who seek counseling have forgotten the tender words exchanged among themselves when they were first married but can easily recall the stinging, sarcastic, critical, deceptive words flung carelessly at them by their spouse.
The Bible tells us,
Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! —James 3:2–10
It is clear that we either build up or chip away at our self-respect, and our happiness, by our choice of words.
Anger
Steve got out of bed in a good mood. He greeted his wife with a friendly hug and kiss. They had a pleasant breakfast together, and after a tender good-bye kiss, he headed for the garage whistling to himself.
He was pleased to be getting an early start, planning to get some deskwork out of the way before his busy day began. Everything changed when he put the car key in the ignition and glanced at the gas gauge. It was on empty.
“I told that stupid wife of mine to put gas in the car when she used it last night. And she didn’t do it!”
He was seething as he waited at the gas pump for the tank to be filled. Already, he was rehearsing what he would say to his wife that night.
It was a busy day and the gas tank episode was forgotten until he headed home. The closer he got to home the angrier he became.
He parked his car in the garage and slammed the car door as headed into the house. Normally he greeted his wife with a kiss, but today he brushed past her, mumbling a gruff, “Hello.”
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
“Nothing!”
“There must be something wrong,” she pressed. “Did you have a rough day at work?”
She had no idea what was going on underneath his skin, or she might have had second thoughts about pursuing the question.
Steve unloaded. “Yes, I had a rough day. I left early so that I could get some desk work done, only to find an empty gas tank. So instead of getting a head start, I spent my time sitting beside a gas pump. I told you to put gas in the car. Why don’t you listen to me? Why is that I can never depend on you? I’m fed up with your lack of consideration. All you think about is yourself.’
His wife burst into tears.
“Stop crying,” he shouted. “Do I have to put up with an emotional woman on top of your irresponsible behavior?”
Even as Steve said these last words, he was sorry he had started his outburst. But once he had started his tirade, he figured he might as well finish it.
If his employees had ever tried talking to him that way, he would have fired them. And he wouldn’t think of speaking to his friends the way he just addressed his wife.
By now, the children were listening. “You kids … go outside and play!” He brushed past them and kept on yelling.
By spewing out this torrent of words, Steve made a fool of himself and felt foolish about it. But the angry words were out. He was especially disturbed over his choice of words and the manner in which he had delivered them. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He had ruined many an evening with his sharp tongue and then always had to figure out how to patch things up.
During dinner, the telephone rang. It was for Angela, the sixteen-year-old daughter in the family. On the other end of the line was a young man the family didn’t approve of. He was asking Angie to go to a party at the home of another friend Angie’s parents didn’t like. Both Steve and his wife had a pretty good idea of what the conversation was about. Angie accepted the invitation, hoping to talk her folks into letting her go. When she hung up, Angie took a breath and jumped into her plea to be allowed to go to the party.
“Can I please go to Elizabeth’s party this weekend?” she asked.
“You know the answer,” her mother replied.
“Please let me go. All the kids but me will be there. Dad, tell mom to let me go.”
“You heard your mother. You knew what we would say when you agreed to go.”
“Please … just this once?”
“The answer is no!” Steve shouted.
Angela was not to be intimidated. She launched into her own tirade. “You never let me do anything. I hate this place, and I hate you. When I get a little older, you will be sorry, because I’m going to clear out of here and do whatever I please. All you do is make life miserable for me. You must hate me to treat me like you do. None of my friends have to take the flack I take around here. You don’t care about me at all. I hate you.”
Wow! Quite an outburst for a teenager.
Her parents kept quiet and let her continue until she ran out of words.
Angela was feeling miserable before she finished. Actually, she didn’t disagree with her parents’ judgment. But, again and again, she would sass them, or tell off the whole family, or lash out at anyone who crossed her. She caused herself no end of trouble socially and often ended up disgusted with herself.
What is behind all of these angry, careless words? The people in this family are violating basic wisdom from the Bible:
Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.
—Proverbs 21:23Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation. —Matthew 12:36–37, MSG
If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. —James 1:26
Complaining
Three men who worked together shared a common dislike for their jobs. Every day during their lunch break, they would rehash the rude comments their boss had fired at them throughout the morning and discuss with one another how much they despised him.
Their boss was indeed a very difficult man to work for. I suppose everyone sooner or later faces the problem of what to do with a difficult person in their life. However, the Bible says:
Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. —Philippians 2:14–15
A worthless man digs up evil, while his words are like scorching fire. —Proverbs 16:28, NASB
Remind the believers … They must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. —Titus 3:1–2
These men were chipping away at their own self-respect by choosing to focus on the behavior of their boss and then rehashing his poor conduct.
Lying
The art of deception takes many forms and can easily muddle our relationships.
Jake’s Flattery
Jake was golfing with Greg, who was a par player. On the way to the course, Jake explained that he was just an occasional golfer and not very good. Greg offered to give Jake some tips as they went along. The offer was accepted. At first, Jake appreciated the help. Watch your head … you need a little more grass on that shot … raise your left shoulder … keep your eye on the ball … you should use a different club. But the instruction went on and on … until Jake was getting knots in his stomach.
All he really wanted was to knock the ball around the course.
“Want another tip?” Greg asked.
Instead of admitting that he was already confused and annoyed, Jake replied, “Sure I do. It’s not often I get to play with someone who can help my game. You are a good teacher.”
However, Jake’s deception and flattery needlessly put him in a position that spoiled his whole day.
Dylan’s Deception
The work director of the college summoned Dylan to tell him of a job opening. Before sending him to this assignment, however, the director wanted to clear up a report that Dylan had been disorderly on various occasions.
Dylan denied the report and was given the assignment.
A week later, he returned to the work director to admit that the report was actually true. He had been in torment for a week. Even if it meant losing the work opportunity, he wanted to set the record straight.
Julie’s Accommodation
Julie created an unnecessary situation for herself when she was visiting some friends who in turn took her to visit some of their friends. It came time for supper.
“We can go out to eat if you like,” said Mary, the hostess. “We have every kind of restaurant you can think of around here. Or, since I’ve made some vegetable soup today, we can stay home and eat that. It makes no difference to me what we do. Since Julie is our guest, and we don’t know what she has eaten today, let’s let her decide.”
That’s a tough spot for a guest. Julie answered with a question. “Does anyone have anything against staying here and eating soup?”
All four people said they’d just as soon stay home.
“Then that’s fine with me,” said Julie. “Let’s just stay here and eat soup.”
On the way home from the visit, Julie said to her friends, “Do you mind if we swing through a drive-through on the way home? I’m starving. I didn’t have any lunch today, and if you noticed, I didn’t eat much. I hate soup—especially vegetable soup.”
Her friends were surprised. “Julie, Mary asked you if you wanted something else. Did you think she didn’t mean it?”
“Well, I didn’t want to offend or inconvenience anyone,” Julie replied.
Instead of gaining admiration for her “sacrificial” choice, her friends wondered when they could believe her … and Julie had ended up with an unsatisfactory dinner.
Janelle’s Cover-Up
Janelle was referred to me by her physician because a reasonable prescription for anxiety was not helping her. She was reluctant to admit that anything might be bothering her, but she finally admitted to me that she had lent her car to a friend, who was involved in an accident with the car.
Knowing that her husband would be furious because she had loaned out the car, Janelle had decided to tell him she had been in the accident. To deceive her husband was simple enough, but she hadn’t anticipated the complications of this deception: coaching her friend on what to say, keeping her husband away from the repair shop, and slipping police reports past him. It became especially complicated when the repairs were done poorly and required two extra visits to the repair shop, which also involved interacting with the insurance agent again and again. The cover-up resulted in unbearable and unnecessary tensions for Janelle.
Biblical Advice
People in my office frequently rationalize their lying by believing that if they speak the truth, the other people will hate them, get angry, or have hurt feelings. It is a delusion to assume that the key to good friendship is lying and deceit.
On the other hand, many of my clients tell me how disappointed they are when they discover they have been deceived or lied to.
In the early 1800s, Sir Walter Scott wrote his second book, a historical romance, no less, and in it he wrote, “Oh, what a tangled web we weave … when first we practice to deceive!”
The Bible uses powerful words to instruct us in this area:
The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.
— Proverbs 12:22Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
—Proverbs 4:24, NIVA lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin.
—Proverbs 26:28
Gossip
In the New Testament we read these words: “The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire” —James 3:5.
“I left her …”
A simple little incident that happened to me has made that verse very meaningful. I was once speaking to a large group of people attending a family conference. During one of the breaks, someone came up to greet me. “Hi, Henry, I haven’t seen you in a long time. Is Eva (my wife) with you?”
“No,” I replied. “I left her …”
At that exact moment someone else interrupted our conversation. I turned to that person and never finished my sentence concerning my wife. Later that day, a friend’s wife approached me and said, “What’s this I hear about you and Eva? You’re separated?”
“Separated?” I was shocked. “Where did you hear that?”
“One of the women here told me she heard that you told someone that you’d left Eva.”
“No, we’re getting along just fine,” I replied, baffled.
“That’s strange,” she said. “I’ve actually heard it from several people.”
It took me a while to think over my conversations of the day. Then I recalled my brief encounter with the person who had asked if Eva was with me. When I said, “I left Eva …” and turned to respond to someone else, he concluded that I didn’t want to talk about it. He was troubled and disappointed that I would be speaking about family life when I was separated from my wife.
When he went to his hotel room, his wife was there. He said to her, “Did you know that Henry has left Eva?” His wife asked someone else about it, and so the rumor got started.
In reality, Eva and I were invited to go on a trip on a friend’s yacht. We were having a wonderful time enjoying the beauty and peacefulness of the Bahamas. It came time for me to go to this conference which was being held in San Francisco. Our friends urged Eva to stay in the Bahamas with them. I would have liked to stay myself, but we agreed that Eva would stay. When this man asked me if Eva was with me, my reply was interrupted. All he heard was, “I left her …” I never got to finish my sentence: “… on a yacht in the Bahamas.”
The next time I took the platform to speak, I told the entire group of conference attendees about the incident as an example of how communication can get fouled up. Apparently, some people didn’t believe me. A year later, in Portland, a minister very gingerly brought up the subject. “Did you leave your wife?” he asked.
Three years later, an associate of mine reported that he was still hearing about this incident. One of his secretaries had asked him, “How can you be so supportive of Dr. Brandt’s family ministry when he and his wife are separated?”
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.
The Dean Behind the Dormitory
Many years ago, a friend of mine, the dean of a small college, was called into a board meeting to answer charges that at night he was seen prowling around the windows of one of the women’s dormitories. He was told that there were a dozen witnesses who had reported his behavior. Unfortunately, there was not just one incident. The reports indicated that he had been seen there regularly.
The dean was flabbergasted. He insisted that there was no truth to the reports. But how could a dozen eyewitnesses be wrong?
Then it dawned on him. The garage that housed the school cars was located behind the women’s dormitory. This dean frequently went out at night to speak at various meetings and often arrived back on campus late at night. He used a school car for transportation. This was in the days before a car for such transportation became part of a person’s compensation package. When the board investigated, they found out that his facts were true.
What had happened is, one night, after he had put the car in the garage, a student was looking out her window and saw the dean walking behind the dormitory. She was amazed and told her roommate that she saw the dean window peeping. They told some other students, who, in turn, kept an eye on the back of the dorm to see if it happened again. Sure enough, they spotted him behind the dormitory week after week. As you can well imagine, this news spread rapidly throughout the campus and in letters back home to parents.
The students had not seen the dean looking into their windows but had assumed that because he was behind the dorm, that surely was the only reason he could be there.
A Trail of Destruction
We tend to be shocked when we learn that someone has stolen something or committed adultery, but we fail to realize how much destruction can occur through gossip.
The prophet Jeremiah observed,
What else can I do with my people?
For their tongues shoot lies like poisoned arrows.
They speak friendly words to their neighbors
while scheming in their heart to kill them. —Jeremiah 9:7–8
Our words ultimately reveal what is in our hearts. Your own sense of self-respect depends in part on your knowledge of how you manage your own words. We must ask God’s forgiveness for the negative ways in which we use our words, repenting of our sin, and asking for the Holy Spirit’s power to use our words in ways that build up others.
Wisdom
I have just described four ways in which we often use our words in a negative way. However, there are also many ways that we can use our words in a positive way, and nearly all of them involve wisdom on our part.
How we use our words not only affects others, it also builds up or
chips away our own sense of self-respect.
King Solomon, most known for his wisdom has a great deal to say about the use of our words.
The words of the godly are like sterling silver. —Proverbs 10:20
A gentle answer deflects anger. —Proverbs 15:1
Gentle words are a tree of life. —Proverbs 15:4
Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!
—Proverbs 15:23The king is pleased with words from righteous lips; he loves those who speak honestly.
—Proverbs 16:13Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. —Proverbs 16:24
Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.
—Proverbs 25:11, NASBWords from the mouth of the wise are gracious. —Ecclesiastes 10:12, NIV
Are your words “like sterling silver”? Are they gentle, fitting, righteous, honest, sweet to the soul, “spoken in right circumstances,” and gracious? How we use our words not only affects others, it also builds up or chips away our own sense of self-respect.
The interaction of Joseph with his brothers is an example to us of one way words can help or hinder our relationships. His brothers, who despised him and had determined to get rid of him, sold him into slavery. Joseph, however, after many trials and difficulties, achieved a place in Egypt second only to the king. When a time of famine came, Joseph was given charge of distributing food. His brothers had to go to Egypt to get food and were aghast when they discovered who Joseph was. After reconciling, all of Joseph’s family came to live in Egypt. But when their father died, the brothers were terrified that Joseph might finally seek revenge upon them. They decided to send Joseph a message, begging for mercy. Here is how the Bible describes what happened.
So Jacob’s sons did as he had commanded them. They carried his body to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave in the field of Machpelah.… After burying Jacob, Joseph returned to Egypt with his brothers and all who had accompanied him to his father’s burial. But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said.
So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us to say to you: ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you—for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept. Then his brothers came and threw themselves down before Joseph. “Look, we are your slaves!” they said.
But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them. —Genesis 50:12–21
Joseph used reassuring and kind words backed by godly behavior. His words and actions were based on his faith in God, not on the behavior or his brothers. This showed Joseph’s true character and also preserved his relationship with his family.
Kindness
I once shared this story at a conference with a group of mothers.
Ashley accidentally spilled her milk. She looked anxiously up at her mother, who quietly said, “You put your glass too close to your elbow, didn’t you?”
You could see the relief on Ashley’s face. The mother’s soft rebuke provided the necessary redirection without lashing out at her child. Her words taught the child how to avoid repetition of the incident without wreaking havoc on her self-esteem.
Later that evening, Ashley did not want to go to bed. Quietly, but firmly, the mother said, “It’s time for bed!”
Ashley began to whine, and so the mother took her firmly by the hand and directed her toward the bedroom. Ashley stiffened, and then gave up as her mother continued, “You need a good night’s sleep.”
This mother set the tone in this family by her soft answers that sprang from a kind heart and were backed by appropriate action.
A woman in the audience came to speak with me after the session. She told me she was in the habit of giving her children tongue lashings over spilled milk. She said that as I shared this illustration, on the spot, she had breathed a prayer of repentance and asked God to teach her to speak lovingly and quietly.
She later sent me a note telling me that when she returned home, that same night, her child had spilled some juice. To her surprise, she had said quietly, “Next time, keep the glass away from your elbow.”
Such conversation is necessary if we are to have healthy and happy relationships with the members of our families.
Discipline and Encouragement
The use of our words in a kind way does not imply a pathetic, spineless person who has no opinions or takes no action. We are surrounded by our responsibility for family members, friends, fellow Christians, and those we work with. Frequently, we must deal with the poor choices of other people. The Bible provides us with instruction on how to be effective in doing this!
In the book of Revelation, God said,
I correct and discipline everyone I love. —Revelation 3:19
Jesus, when instructing his disciples, said,
So watch yourselves! If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive. —Luke 17:3–4
In his second letter to Timothy, Paul instructed him,
Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. —2 Timothy 4:2
Again, Paul instructed Timothy,
Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.—1 Timothy 5:1–2
To the Ephesians, Paul wrote,
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
—Ephesians. 4:29, NIV
In the book of Hebrews, we read,
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another.
—Hebrews10:23–24
Recently, a friend was having a conversation with a man who was very angry over the poor service he received while getting his car repaired. As my friend listened to this man ranting over his poor service, the Holy Spirit prompted him to encourage the angry man to love the mechanics who had worked on his car. Surely this man would be better off if he could get rid of that anger. But, this is the very type of confrontation most of us avoid!
However, my friend decided he to lovingly confront the who was so angry. “It’s a pity to let those mechanics spoil your day. They aren’t even here, yet their poor performance is bothering you. Your anger surely isn’t affecting them any. They on the other side of town. You know, Jesus once said, “Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that?” (Matthew 5:44–46). Sure, you got a bad deal. But why don’t you just forgive him, and ask God to give you love for him? It would change your whole day.”
This man surprised my friend by saying, “You’re right. I’ll do it. How stupid of me to allow this to ruin my day.”
To encourage, reprove, rebuke, exhort, and instruct one another
is to help one another.
Instead of an angry response, the man appreciated the encouragement from my friend.
Here’s another example. I was the speaker at a church conference and seated beside the pastor for the meal preceding the program. It was a family-style banquet so everyone helped themselves. I noted the huge quantity of food he had heaped on his plate. It amazed me to see him take a second helping as large as his first. He noticed I was aware of what he was doing and leaned over toward me and said, “I’m a compulsive eater.”
In my mind, I was wondering how to reply in a gracious way, and after a moment I said, “There is a better way to describe it,” I said. “The Bible calls it gluttony.”
Well, obviously my words shocked him.
A year later, I was invited to speak in the same church at the same conference. To my surprise, the pastor had slimmed down considerably. His wife told me that my words had challenged him. He had even looked up the word “gluttony” in the Greek. He decided that his eating habits were a stumbling block to his people and were not pleasing to God. However, he surprised me by saying, “You are heavier than you were a year ago.”
“Yes,” I explained, “speaking at so many banquets, luncheons, and breakfasts makes it difficult to watch what you eat.”
“There is a better to describe it,” he replied gleefully. “It’s called gluttony.”
He gave my little words of exhortation right back to me! We have since become good friends. We encourage each other. It’s a good relationship.
To encourage, reprove, rebuke, exhort, and instruct one another is to help one another. It’s a rewarding experience to decide to be a positive influence with your words. In writing to Timothy, Paul said, “Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me—a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 1:13).
Personal Responsibility
When we use our words in a godly way, we not only honor God, we also can know that we have done our part in helping to maintain positive relationships. In the Psalms, King David provides us with good guidelines for taking responsibility for ourselves and the use of our words.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. —Psalm 19:14
Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips. — Psalm 141:3
Keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. —Psalm 34:13–14
Power from the Holy Spirit will allow us to not only carefully reflect upon how we use our words but also enable us to use our words in a way in which God will use them to help others.
Guidelines for Restoring Your Relationships
We’ve all found ourselves embroiled in relationships that need mending. I’ve found these two biblical guidelines to be extremely helpful when trying to restore a relationship.
1. When you are aware that someone has something against you, it’s your move.
Jesus said,
So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.
— Matthew 5:23–24
2. When you have something against someone else, it’s your move.
Jesus also said,
If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
—Matthew 18:15–17, MSG
What is Jesus saying? Simply that whether you have something against someone, or someone has something against you, either way it’s your responsibility to go to that person and attempt a reconciliation, even if it means extra effort on your part.
The apostle Paul said,
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. —Ephesians 4:15
The goal, then, is not only reconciliation, but also helping each other grow up. You cannot approach the other person with hostility in your heart. You must approach reconciliation with truth and love and a desire to be Christlike.
Your only hope is to turn to God for help. What he will do for you is described by the prophet Isaiah,
The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom,
so that I know how to comfort the weary.
Morning by morning he wakens me
and opens my understanding to his will.
The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me,
and I have listened.
I have not rebelled or turned away.
—Isaiah 50:4–5
Questions for Reflection/Discussion:
- In what ways do you use your words in a negative way? What can you do to begin to change the way in which you use your negative words?
- In which situations in your life do you consistently honor God by using your words in a Christlike way? What difference does this make in your life?
- Is there a relationship in your life that you need to restore? What steps will you take to make it happen?
Memorize: Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.