There is a reason why so many people are unhappy, why there is so much conflict between individuals. Isaiah pinpointed the trouble long ago: “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own” (Isaiah 53:6).
We like our own ideas, plans, aspirations, and longings. Thus, when we encounter resistance to our wishes, or face demands that are not to our liking, we tend to rebel, to attack, to run, or to defend ourselves. Our natural reaction is to be resentful, bitter, stubborn, full of fight. It is easy for us to think that our own desires are the reasonable ones. We will find a way to make a selfish drive seem selfless, deceiving even ourselves.
Furthermore, it is natural to shrink away from a glimpse of oneself. To back away from reproof is as human as shielding our eyes from a burst of light in a dark room. Jeremiah’s assessment of the heart, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” (Jeremiah 17:9), and Jesus’ statement that “people love the darkness more than the light” (John 3:19), are as up-to-date as the current psychology literature that describes the many ways we have for evading the truth.
The patterns of deceit and self-defense have become so systematized that their names are common dictionary words. If we do not face our pains, we can develop psychoses requiring hospitalization—or, at the very least we will experience broken relationships, devastating hopelessness, or even murder or suicide.
Such is the heart of man. One shudders to contemplate its potential for evil. The Bible and literature on psychology alike paint an oppressive picture.
How difficult it is to face the truth we have uncovered! As we look up, however, a comforting shaft of light pierces the darkness. It promises the hope of escape.
Our hope comes in our relationship with God and his message of hope in his Word, the Bible. In the pages of scripture is a path away from our disturbances, neuroses, and psychoses and toward peace that passes understanding.
“Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble,” said the psalmist in Psalm 119:165. Is this really possible?
In the pages of scripture is a path away from our disturbances, neuroses, and psychoses and toward peace that passes understanding.
Many people turn to a counselor for help because they are in circumstances that are causing them to stumble. They are dissatisfied, irritated, unhappy. Either they flee from their vexing situations or attack them.
One would think that people would rush to buy a book (the Bible!) that pointed out the path to peace and freedom from offense. People do buy it by the millions every year (it continues to be the bestselling book of all time). However, it is a book that is quickly laid aside.
Though our hope lies in God and his Word, many people quickly turn aside from the Bible … because it reproves and corrects. And correction is difficult. We simply do not like facing the truth about ourselves. Hebrews 4:12 tells us, “The word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” Having our innermost thoughts and desires exposed can be painful.
Today, churches are criticized because their ministers upset people when they preach about the sinfulness of man and the inflexible standards of the Bible. People have often turned to me as a counselor because their pastor has upset them. Having listened to a sermon about sin, these people feel guilty and inadequate. As they relate the details of their stories, it invariably turns out that they were much happier people before they began attending church and studying the Bible. Therefore, isn’t it reasonable to conclude that their problems are being caused by what they heard and read? To remove the cause would seem to relieve the person’s anxiety.
And this is exactly what is now being advocated. There is wide spread pressure on ministers to preach only “positive” messages and to emphasize the good in man. But the message is not the cause of the problem.
Calling Sin What It Really Is
Perhaps a look at the methods of several medical professionals will help us understand and embrace the value of pointing out the “negative.”
Consider the dentist’s approach. I remember making an appointment with my dentist and showing up to have him examine my teeth. He chatted amiably throughout the examination. As he looked at my x-rays, I still remember him saying, “There is a cavity, and there is one, and there is another. You have three cavities.” How negative can you get? He did not even mention the good teeth!
Then he prepared to stick a long needle into my gums—not a pleasant experience at all. The drilling was no picnic either. In fact, there is nothing about going to the dentist that I like. It makes me a bit anxious to think about going, and decidedly annoyed when the bill comes. But yet we all go to the dentist. We respect this person who subjects us only to discomfort. Why? Surely not because of the process. The results are what we want. The dentist could give us medicine that would cut the pain of our decaying teeth and make us feel comfortable as long as its effect remained. But unless the dentist goes to the source of the problem, the decay will continue, and someday the pain will be even worse.
Consider the physician. As he diagnoses you, he has only one basic question: “What is wrong?” This is certainly a “negative” approach!
If 99 percent of your body is well, your doctor is interested in only the 1 percent of you that is not. If you have an infected fingernail and the rest of you is healthy, he concentrates on the fingernail. If you have a pain in your abdomen, he does not look at your ears. Instead he examines your abdomen thoroughly, even if the examination brings you pain.
Why do you put up with such treatment? Because the objective is to restore your health. The doctor may save you from death by subjecting you to great pain and even the risk of your life on the operating table if necessary. It is positive to focus on the negative. It is healthy to eliminate disease. It is good to eliminate evil.
A neighbor in good health went to see her physician because she had developed a slight pain. Investigation revealed a tumor and abdominal surgery was called for. The doctor’s announcement of what was needed not only upset the woman, but her whole family and some people in the neighborhood as well. Why would a man want to subject this fine woman to such an ordeal? Why didn’t he give her a sedative to help her forget the pain? No one would have gotten upset. But instead of prescribing a painkiller, he sent her off to a hospital, where her surgery confined her for five weeks.
Think of the effect of his diagnosis and prescription on the woman’s husband, their children, their budget. But not a single person condemned the doctor. Quite the contrary, they were all grateful to him. They were appreciative of this person who had delivered such drastic, disturbing news and who had subjected her to the pain of a knife and her husband to such great expense. The doctor would have done this woman a great disservice to have acted otherwise.
The diagnosis did not depend on the knowledge of the physician, but on the condition of the patient’s body. The doctor could not be guided by what the patient wanted to hear; rather he had to follow the course of his findings. How does one make an announcement of the need for major surgery a happy occasion? There is no way. The important thing is that the proper diagnosis be made and the patient be told. The patient will get over the shock of the announcement. My neighbor did. Then it was up to her whether she would submit to the prescribed treatment. She could have tried to ignore the pain, kept busy, and attempted to forget about her condition. She might have tried to kill the pain with medicine. Her other alternative was to accept surgery, which she did.
An accurate diagnosis of a physical ailment is a matter for the physician. But the patient’s future health is really his own decision.
To miss the mark of perfect health is common, but to deny that one is sick when he is, or to give up the quest for health, is foolish. Wisdom calls for trying to discover the cause of ill health; for the physician to give an accurate diagnosis despite the guilt, anxiety, or worry it might cause; and for the patient, for his own best interest, to follow through on the doctor’s advice.
Now back to the point that ministers are pressured to emphasize the good and the positive because talk of sin and the negative is upsetting and causes anxiety and worry. Of course the knowledge of sin produces such results. But the immediate comfort of a person is of little value if there is, in fact, sin in the person’s life. To diagnose sin as the reason for a lack of peace in a person’s life, however disturbing it may be, is a positive act.
I do not determine what my client brings to me. If there is selfishness, irritability, stubbornness, rebellion, hate, or deceit within the person, it simply is there. I didn’t put it there, but it is my responsibility to point out its presence. This may be upsetting. But I have found no other way. I have never known a person to discover the sin that is causing his trouble by my dwelling on his good qualities. And I have never found a way of pointing out a man’s sin to him that makes him clap his hands with glee at the news. The truth is often offensive.
To diagnose sin as the reason for a lack of peace in a person’s life, however disturbing it may be, is a positive act.
Once, after Jesus had addressed the Pharisees, his disciples said to him, “Do you realize you offended the Pharisees by what you just said?” (Matthew 15:12). What had offended them? This is part of what the Lord told them:
It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth. —v. 11
The words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you.
—v. 18For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you.
—vv. 19–20
Though the words of Christ offended his listeners, their response did not change the truth he spoke. And herein lies tremendous hope. You may not be able to control what your wife or husband, father or mother, or anyone else does, and you may not be able to change your environment, but you don’t need to, because the real source of your problem is not the people around you or your environment, but you. The things that defile you come from within you. And this, in a sense, is good news because you can be changed. But you must decide whether to let God change you.
The Battle with the Will
To come to the decision that will lead you into the pleasant valley of peace is to struggle with your own will. To illustrate, note the experience of Eric, a successful businessman.
Eric was department foreman of a manufacturing firm. One day his boss called him into the office and said, “Eric, as you know, things are a bit slow around here. I realize you have worked hard and run one of the best departments in the company, but my orders are to cut one supervisor, so I am letting you go.”
Eric was stunned. He was the only Christian among the foremen. The other supervisory personnel, including his boss, liked to go out drinking and had some pretty wild parties together. As a result, their work sometimes suffered and Eric had to step in to rescue them. He had worked hard. This was his reward.
Eric now faced a major financial difficulty. He had been making payments on a new home and a car. When his salary was suddenly cut off, he was in trouble. He lost both his house and his car and had to move in with his parents, who lived in another state. While with them, he had nothing to do but sit in a comfortable chair and mull over his experience.
So this is the reward for hard work and clean living, he would say to himself over and over. The more he thought, the more bitter he became. He found it hard to eat and even harder to digest what little he did eat. He suffered from painful cramps. His physician told him that his condition stemmed from his emotions. However, most of his friends reassured him that he had a right to have some emotional problems.
Twelve years later, time seemed to have healed his wounds. Eric found another job and was quite successful in it. He was, in fact, the manager of a manufacturing outfit with eight plants. One day while he was inspecting one of the plants, the personnel director asked him if he would like to meet the plant’s new chief engineer. Of course he would. Eric followed the personnel director to the man’s office and found himself face-to-face with the man who had fired him twelve years before. Here working for him was the person who had caused him so much grief, pain, and embarrassment.
“I made a terrible mistake back when I let you go,” the engineer said to Eric when they were alone. “Will you forgive me?”
“Oh, certainly. Forget it,” Eric replied.
Eric said he forgave the man, but within himself he nursed a gnawing bitterness. His stomachache returned. He began reliving those confusing, awful days of long ago. He had thought this period of his life was long forgotten, but he found himself fuming in his plush office, wanting only to get even.
Eric related all of this to me when I went to visit him at his office. He then asked how he could work with a person who had treated him so poorly.
What would have been your reply?
I pointed out several Scripture passages to Eric. One was 2 Corinthians 4:7–10:
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
The apostle Paul spoke here of trouble, perplexity, persecution, rejection. All these had happened to Eric. But Paul also said there is a power that will enable us to face such treatment without distress, despair, self-pity, or ruin. It is the power of God. I discussed this with Eric, but at the time it seemed to mean little to him. I spoke of the end products of anxiety, pointing out that definite bodily changes are involved; blood pressure, respiration, digestion can be affected. Freedom from anxiety means that the body will function normally. But his body was upset and exhibiting many of these symptoms.
“Are you suggesting that I am my own problem?” he asked. “Are you saying that you would have acted differently had you been fired?”
I assured him he was his own problem and that he needed to take control of his response. Then I reminded him of one of Jesus’ statements: “I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44, NKJV). This, I said, should be his attitude toward the man who had fired him.
Eric became furious with me. How could I be so lacking in sympathy and understanding? Now he was upset not only at the engineer, but at me as well.
Who was Eric hurting when he carried his grudge around within himself? Who was affected when he sat in his chair and seethed over a man who had hurt him long ago? Obviously, he was hurting only himself.
Who is hurt when you get upset over someone who isn’t even in your presence? You, of course.
There is a power that will enable you to face your circumstances without distress. It is the power of God, made available to you by the dying of the Lord Jesus and the gift of the Holy Spirit working in you. God’s power—and his alone—can make you want to forgive one who has misused you.
But Eric did not want to forgive that engineer. He wanted to get even. He argued that he had a right to be bitter.
Eric did have a right to be bitter. Each one of us has a right to be angry and unforgiving over a wrong done to us. It is our privilege to be upset. But then we must also live with the misery that comes along with it. As long as we insist on retaining our unhappiness, we will have it.
However, if we want to be free from our misery, we must be lifted out of our sin. And there is only one way to do that. To submit ourselves to God’s perfect plans and desires for us. Simply identifying our anger, or bitterness, or resentment, will not eliminate it or any the problems that it causes. We must actually confess it to almighty God and turn away from it. Wise is the man who heeds the advice of the apostle James:
But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. —James 1:22–25
Eric said he wanted relief from his upset condition, but when I told him that he needed to let go of the situation, he became all the more upset. One would think he would have seized the opportunity to shed his spirit of bitterness and hate. But that’s not human nature.
Simply identifying our anger, or bitterness, or resentment, will not eliminate it or any the problems that it causes. We must actually confess it to almighty God and turn away from it.
For many persons, to yield bitterness and hatred in exchange for a tender heart toward someone who doesn’t deserve it is not blessed relief, but great sacrifice. Like Eric, untold numbers of persons would like to be free from their aches and pains, but if to be rid of them means to relinquish a long-standing grudge, they would rather be in pain; mental, physical, or both.
There in his walnut-paneled, softly lit office Eric and I were locked in a struggle. If I had told him that his grudge was normal and that I would have acted the same way, he might have enjoyed some relief, but the inner sore would have continued to fester and spread its poison.
Willing to Yield
It is a mystery how a person finally quits fighting and turns to God for a spirit of love toward someone who does not deserve it. All we know is that there is generally a struggle before a person yields.
But when he does yield, his problem is nearly over. The Bible says it is your move. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).
One day, Eric did turn to God for help. He asked God to forgive him of his anger and bitterness. He let go of his grudge. His digestive disorder disappeared, his aches and pains went away. Finally he is at peace with himself and with the man who mistreated him. He is now enjoying God’s peace, the fruit of the Spirit, in his life.
How did this change come about? By confessing (or acknowledging) that he had done wrong, that he had sinned. King David wrote, “Finally, I confessed all my sins to you [God] and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, ‘I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.’ And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone” (Psalm 32:5).
When Eric paid attention to his reaction to the other man’s sins, instead of concerning himself with the man’s sins, he found himself on the road to peace.
To see your own sin is disturbing only if you fight what you discover. If, instead, you admit it and seek help from God, the result is not guilt, but an overwhelming sense of forgiveness, cleansing, renewal, and peace.
The pathway to spiritual peace is a struggle. Discover the truth about yourself and you will naturally shrink from it; become offended and defensive and you will be bound in the strong fetters of your sin. But what a difference you will find if you heed the promise of Jesus: “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31–32).
Reflection Questions
- What is your response to Dr. Brandt’s assertion that “Our hope comes in our relationship with God and his message of hope in his Word, the Bible”?
- On a scale 1–10, how willing are you to let the Bible instruct you?
- What is your reaction to Eric’s story?
- Why is the critical step of confessing our own responses to life situations critical to experiencing true peace?
- How open are you to truly acknowledging your sin and confessing it to God?
Take One Action Step
Ask God to show you the sin in your life. Confess it to him and leave it behind.