In his autobiography, Just As I Am, Billy Graham told the story of meeting two men on a Caribbean island he was visiting with his wife, Ruth.
One of the wealthiest men in the world asked us to come to his lavish home for lunch. He was seventy-five years old, and throughout the entire meal he seemed close to tears.
“I am the most miserable man in the world,” he said. “Out there is my yacht. I can go anywhere I want to.
I have my private plane, my helicopters. I have everything I want to make me happy. And yet I’m miserable as hell.”
We talked with him and had prayer with him, trying to point him to Christ, who alone gives lasting meaning to life.
Then we went down the hill to a small cottage where we were staying. That afternoon the pastor of the local Baptist church came to call. He was an Englishman, and he too was seventy-five. A widower, he spent most of his free time taking care of his two invalid sisters. He reminded me of a cricket—always jumping up and down, full of enthusiasm and love for Christ and for others.
“I don’t have two pounds to my name,” he said with a smile, “but I’m the happiest man on this island.”1
One man rich and miserable, the other poor and joy-filled. Worldly values would tell us that the two men ought to have swapped attitudes. So what is the truth of the matter? Why are some people chronically dissatisfied, while others are content with the way things are? There must be something fundamentally flawed in the soul of one who is always dissatisfied. It must be a sin issue.
Having said that, we hasten to add that not all dissatisfaction is sinful. For instance, there is nothing wrong with dissatisfaction at sin and injustice. We should be dissatisfied with these wrongs and strive to correct them. (Your reading this book presumably reflects a godly dissatisfaction with habitual sin in your life.)
There is also nothing wrong with a dissatisfaction that exists because so much still remains to be done to build Christ’s kingdom. If God has given you a vision for what He wants you to accomplish for Him, you certainly may let your dissatisfaction with your partial progress impel you to greater work in the future. Ambition and contentment are not necessarily opposed to one another.
The kind of dissatisfaction we are concerned with here is the kind that says, “I want more money, more stuff, more fun, more comfort in life—and I deserve it. I’d better take over the responsibility for myself; God isn’t doing a good enough job.”
But dissatisfaction is not only a slap in the face of God; it is also a way we rob ourselves of the joy we might have day by day, because we obsess about what we might have in the future instead of enjoying what we do have in the present. And as we become restless, resentful, and bitter, other people naturally prefer not to be around us.
Contentment ought to be the birthright (or rather, the new-birth right) of all Christians. But not all enjoy contentment. What about you? Are you dissatisfied? Do you have a problem with envy or greed? Is your attitude marked by complaining and ingratitude? Are you prepared to steal and grab to get what you want?
Read on. From personal experience, we (Bill and Henry) know how strong the pull of greed or discontentment can be. But we also believe that the following scriptural truths will convict you of dissatisfaction. The soul prescription will help you root contentment in your soul like a vigorous new plant.
The Grass on the Other Side of the Fence
One day years ago, I (Henry) was riding a horse across a ranch in Texas. The ranch property stretched over the horizon, with the only intrusion being the highway that ran through its middle. Now, you would think that the cattle on such a vast ranch would have all the grass they want, wouldn’t you? But what did I see? I observed a cow stretching its neck through the barbed-wire fence to nibble grass on the highway’s right-of-way.
Isn’t that like us? We have so much, but we want more. If somebody else has got it and we do not, we want it. Even if we do not need it, and even if God has offered no indication that He wants to give it to us, we think it has got to be ours.
This attitude goes by the name of envy or jealousy or covetousness. (For our purposes, we’ll use the words interchangeably.) Whatever you call this attitude, it is an improper craving for something another person possesses to such an extent that you cannot be happy unless you have it. It is a sinful desire for things that belong to your neighbor.
God condemned this attitude in the Ten Commandments, saying, “You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor”(Exodus 20:17).2 As the commandment suggests, the object of covetousness might be almost anything.
Most obviously, the object of coveting might be a material possession. In the Bible, for example, we read how King Ahab coveted Naboth’s vineyard. (See 1 Kings 21.) We might want the new car our neighbor purchased or the big house our friend just acquired.
Also, we might be jealous over a person, perhaps someone else’s attractive spouse. That was what happened when David spied Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba, bathing in her yard. (See 2 Samuel 11:2–4.) Many a person today is similarly consumed with desire for another person’s wife or husband.
We might also be envious of a personal quality or advantage that another person possesses. Jacob envied Esau’s blessing and birthright as the older brother. (See Genesis 25:27). We might wish we had another person’s good looks or social ease or singing ability.
It is not always wrong to want a possession, person, or quality. There is nothing necessarily blameworthy about wanting to have a new car or to be married or to be able to sing well. It is when we desire someone else’s car or spouse or voice that we go wrong with envy. It is then that we sin and violate the tenth commandment.
Envy can become a habit as we brood over what we want. Our obsessive and misplaced desire can easily be compounded by other sins as we seek to get that which we lack from others. King Ahab murdered Naboth. David had an affair with Bathsheba. Jacob conned Esau out of his rightful blessing and birthright. All of these situations was the outworking of envy.
The message for us is simple: “Don’t participate in…jealousy” (Romans 13:13).
Meanwhile, another form of dissatisfaction—greed—is just as bad for the Christian.
Unappeasable Appetite for Wealth
Early media mogul William Randolph Hearst invested a fortune in collecting art treasures from around the world. One day Hearst read the description of a valuable art item, which he then sent his agent abroad to locate. After months of searching, the agent reported that he had finally found the treasure. To the surprise of Hearst, the priceless masterpiece was stored in a warehouse belonging to none other than William Randolph Hearst.
Hearst had so much that he did not even know what he had. But that did not stop him from wanting more. Greed had set him to running in a circle. It is like a hunger that is never satisfied but only becomes more voracious as it is fed.
Greed is the inordinate love of money and what money can buy. It is a form of dissatisfaction with one’s financial position that results in striving selfishly for more money rather than seeking after God. Thus, money may displace the Lord at the height of our affections.
“You can be sure that no…greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God,” warned the apostle Paul. “For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world” (Ephesians 5:5).
Jesus likewise said, “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:24). Notice that Jesus did not say we should not serve two masters but that we cannot. It is impossible to combine ultimate obedience to God with ultimate obedience to any other person or thing, including wealth.
The Bible is consistent in condemning greed. We are warned, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own” (Luke 12:15). And we are told, “Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have” (Hebrews 13:5). Nevertheless, greed is so widespread in our time that we might wonder if we live in the last days when “people will love only themselves and their money” (2 Timothy 3:2).
Greed, incidentally, is a temptation that affects rich and poor alike. Those of us with modest means cannot assume that greed is a failing that belongs only to the William Randolph Hearsts of the world. What matters is not how much you have but how badly you want more and what you are willing to do to get it.
It is possible to make a distinction between an acceptable desire for money and a sinful desire. Ask yourself these questions to test whether your desire for wealth is acceptable to God.
What is your motive for wanting more money? Is it because you are having trouble meeting the basic needs and wants that you and your family have? Is it because you want to give more generously to the work of God? These are good reasons for wanting more money.
What is your plan for acquiring more money? While working to acquire greater wealth, will you trust God to meet your needs and never forget that He is what you need most of all? Will you honor Him by pursuing financial gain in a just and ethical way, remembering to be generous to others along the way?
If your desire for money meets the requirements, work as hard at it as you like! If you fail the tests, on the other hand, you should be concerned about the kinds of wickedness you are being drawn into. A selfish desire for money that we do not really need is a soul crippler.
Paul made the same point, by observing, “True religion with contentment is great wealth.”
Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. —1 Timothy 6:6–10
Judas Iscariot’s story bears out Paul’s words in 1 Timothy. This man “was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples money, he often stole some for himself” (John 12:6). In the end he went to the religious leaders and asked, “How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?” (Matthew 26:15). They offered him thirty pieces of silver and he took it.
Once Jesus was arrested, Judas was overcome by remorse. He threw the blood money back, but it was too late. He killed himself, and the thirty pieces of silver were used to buy a cemetery where perhaps Judas himself was buried. (See Matthew 27:3–10.) Thus greed ended up where it naturally will (unless repentance intervenes first): in death.
But before greed comes to an end, it contributes to all kinds of evil effects. One of these may be thievery.
Hands That Take Instead of Work
When greed and envy mate, they often produce the ugly offspring of stealing. This is the sin of taking money or possessions belonging to another. The Bible affirms the right to property, and so seizing what belongs to another rates God’s condemnation. “You must not steal” (Exodus 20:15).3
To see the true extent of this sin, we need to define “stealing” widely enough. Failing to pay bills or taxes that we owe is stealing. Doing less work than we are being paid for is stealing. Using copyrighted material without the permission of the owner is stealing.
With such a definition, we can see that stealing is not so rare a problem as we might otherwise have thought. In fact, many people are willing to steal if they think they can get away with it. How quickly will normal law-abiding citizens resort to looting when the power goes out? How many “good” people download software or music files that belong to another?
The rule is this: if it is not yours, leave it alone. Never steal!
Paul was aware that stealing was a problem in the early church. He told new believers, “If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need” (Ephesians 4:28). The same word applies to you if you steal. You may be pleasantly surprised by the changes it brings to your life.
Many years ago, a businessman approached me (Bill) and shared his desire to experience the blessing of the Spirit-filled life. But he said that every time he got down on his knees to pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit, he was convicted about what he had stolen from his employer.
I told him to confess his sin to God, then go to his employer and make restitution. He was terribly concerned that his employer would fire him, but he agreed to go.
When the man shared his dishonesty with his employer, he was shocked by his boss’s response. His boss actually congratulated him for his honesty. Then the employer offered a plan that would take a small amount of what the man had stolen out of his paycheck each week until all had been repaid.
The result was that, not only did the formerly dishonest man learn a valuable lesson, but also two days later he was by faith filled with the Holy Spirit!
Trust God. Respect others’ property. Do the right thing and stop stealing.
Also learn to stop complaining about what you do not have. We see the prevalence of such ingratitude in a story from the life of Jesus.
The Attitude of Ingratitude
In ancient Israel the destiny of persons with infectious skin diseases was a hard one. They were required to quarantine themselves from the rest of society, leading to loneliness and a struggle for survival. But those shunned by others received the loving attention of our Lord.
As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”
He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy.
One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan.
Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” —Luke 17:11–18
Who are you more like: the grateful one or the ungrateful nine? If you have a problem with dissatisfaction, it is a safe bet that you are not as thankful to God as you should be, for a grateful attitude drives out dissatisfaction.
The ungrateful become complainers as soon as they put their regrets into words. To God and to others, they retail what is missing from their wish list for life. This is an insult to God—and it probably does not make them popular with their friends either. The Scriptures tell us, “Do everything without complaining and arguing” (Philippians 2:14). Instead of complaining, we should be praising God.
Paul declared, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ!” (Ephesians 1:3). If God gave us nothing but salvation through faith in His Son, along with salvation’s spiritual blessings, that ought to be enough to silence our complaining tongues forever. But He gives us much more.
Stop for a minute and think about what you do have. You would like to have more money—but how much money do you have? There are some things you would like to own—but what do you own? Perhaps your physical health is limited—but what can you do? How are you blessed with abilities that enable you to create beauty, with friends who bring richness to life, or with good memories that warm your heart in moments of solitude?
Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father. —James 1:17
A Bible secret to banishing dissatisfaction is thanking our gift-giving God. “Pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done” (Philippians 4:6). “Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20). The Bible even says, “Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them” (James 1:9).
Gratitude is like a lens that helps us refocus our attention from our perceived lacks (which might not be good for us anyway) to our actual blessings from God. In this way, gratitude leads us to contentment and brings healing to our soul.
All is Well
The task of one with a dissatisfaction habit is not only to eliminate the sin of dissatisfaction from his or her life but also to cultivate the virtue of contentment. Contentment is a special benefit available to all followers of Jesus Christ. It is not something we can work up on our own. Rather, it is something we can receive as a gift while we cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives.
In The Art of Divine Contentment, Puritan Thomas Watson offered one of the best definitions of contentment: “It is a sweet temper of spirit, whereby a Christian carries himself in an equal poise in every condition.” In other words, it is a kind of satisfaction that depends only on the presence of God in our lives, not on whether we are presently up or down in the changing mix of life’s circumstances.
Contentment is not consistent with unrighteous desires, for unrighteous desires will always trouble our spirit. However, being content does not necessarily mean we give up wanting things that are legitimately good. Thomas Watson observed of Hannah in the Old Testament, “Hannah’s spirit was burdened; ‘I am,’ says she, ‘a woman of sorrowful spirit.’ Now having prayed, and wept, she went away, and was no more sad; only here is the difference between a holy complaint and a discontented complaint; in the one we complain to God, in the other we complain of God.”4 We can pray to God for what we do not have even while we thank Him for what we do have.
The apostle Paul had discovered how to live with an equal poise in every condition.
I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. —Philippians 4:11–13
When Christ fills your heart and mind, you can be at peace and content with the things, people, and circumstances our sovereign God has placed in your life. The only thing that truly satisfies is knowing Jesus Christ. Striving, coveting, and spending our time wanting what is not available to us can leave us broken and bitter.
God is orchestrating life’s circumstances leading us toward the fulfillment of His plans for our individual lives and for history as a whole. Contentment is a result of trusting the fact that God knows perfectly what is best to give us and when. It is saying yes to His blessings upon us. They are enough; we need no more.
Someday God will share with us all the wealth of heaven. Our lifestyle then will be far greater than even that experienced by the rich man in the Caribbean whom Ruth and Billy Graham visited, with none of the emptiness in his soul. And in the meantime, each of us who knows the Lord can enjoy the “endless treasures available to them in Christ” (Ephesians 3:8).
Soul Prescription for Dissatisfaction
Are you struggling with some type of dissatisfaction, such as envy, complaining, or greed? We have outlined a five-step process to help you repent and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.
Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God
Flaws in your view of God can easily produce dissatisfaction in your life. For example, you may have made the mistake of looking to God as your own personal genie who should grant your every wish. On the other hand, you may see Him as some miserly old hermit who would not give a bone to a dog. Either viewpoint would greatly affect your ability to be content and satisfied.
- God is sovereign, and He is in control of your life.
With my great strength and powerful arm I made the earth and all its people and every animal. I can give these things of Mine to anyone I choose. —Jeremiah 27:5
- God is faithful. He will always do what is best for us.
So the LORD must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for His help.—Isaiah 30:18
Through searching the Scriptures, learn more about God as Sovereign Lord. As you do so, consider how flaws in your view of God might be at the root of your problem of dissatisfaction. Ask God to help you understand Him as He really is.
Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs
The belief that we deserve everything we want and more does not line up with God’s Holy Word. The belief that happiness comes with possessions or position is in direct opposition to God’s truth. Such examples of false beliefs about people and life can fuel dissatisfaction. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you believe you would be happy if you had more money?
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
- Do you believe you would be happy if you looked different?
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. —1 Peter 3:3–4
- Do you believe you would be happy if you had a better job?
Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. —1 Corinthians 7:17
These questions reveal false beliefs that breed discontentment. Other such false beliefs are possible. Spend time searching the Word for its perspective on contentment. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where your thinking has fallen off track and then to accept the truth.
Step 3: Repent of Your Sin
Are you ready to turn away from dissatisfaction? Begin by specifically identifying the way you tend to be dissatisfied (envy, ingratitude, or whatever). Next, pray a prayer of confession to God. If you wish, you may use the one below, inserting the name of your sin of dissatisfaction in the blank.
God, I know that everything I have is a gift from You. Yet I have been dissatisfied through __________. I realize that my discontentment is born from a selfish and sinful heart, and I am truly sorry for my attitude. Please forgive me and wash all the discontentment out of my heart. Make me able to put __________ behind me for good and learn to be content. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen .
If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.
Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks
Remember, you must always be on your guard against attack from the three enemies of your soul: the world, the flesh, and the Devil. They will conspire to draw you back to your old habits of dissatisfaction.
- The world’s value system perpetuates dissatisfaction as it preaches, “Always want more and better.” Expose yourself to God’s truth to the point that you have fully understood that a life of contentment is the best way to live.
- Your flesh, or sinful nature, will continue to crave its old objects of desire, whether it is more money, possessions, or people. Tell yourself every day, “My flesh is dead. I live by the Spirit now.” Rely on the Holy Spirit for help in every temptation.
- Satan uses our neighbor’s standard of living to breed discontent in our hearts. Put on “salvation as your helmet” (Ephesians 6:17) for protection from poisonous thoughts of envy.
Keep on the lookout for any temptation that would draw you back into your old ways of dissatisfaction. Seek God’s strength to defend against spiritual attacks. His strength is sufficient.
Step 5: Flee Temptation
We are told in James 1:14 that the source of temptation lies in “our own desires.” The desire for more, or for something different and new, is a catalyst for dissatisfaction. This desire must be kept under control over the long term by taking certain precautions.
- Focus on your relationship with God.
Do not be satisfied with a brief quiet time in the morning and a trip to church once a week. Develop a devotional life that spreads into your whole existence. As you keep your thoughts on God and His kingdom, instead of the things of this world, you will be less susceptible to temptations of dissatisfaction.
- Latch on to God’s promises. Find verses in the Bible that are meaningful to you in your battle against dissatisfaction. Memorize these verses and recall them whenever temptation strikes. Here are two verses for your consideration:
If God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you.—Matthew 6:30
The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.—Psalm 84:11
- Establish safeguards.
Make changes in your life that will keep you away from the most common temptations that have produced dissatisfaction for you. Be creative, and come up with as many changes as will help you. Then, don’t forget to implement them! Consider these examples to spark your own ideas:
- If you find yourself envying something another person possesses, immediately thank God for one blessing He has given you.
- If you tend to be greedy, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other ministry to the poor that will help you see how comfortable you really are.
- Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not be so dissatisfied.
• Expect victory.
Remember that success in defeating the habitual sin of dissatisfaction can be found in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. He is always working in you to make you more like Jesus, which includes being content. Yield to Him daily in anticipation of deliverance from the crippling habit of dissatisfaction.
Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.