Following godly wisdom as you proceed toward God’s best for you
Most people don’t really think about how they make decisions. But it’s really important. Even if you don’t have a decision to make regarding your love life right now, someday you will. We want to help you decide how to decide.
Sanctified Feeling and Sanctified Reasoning
Just because you’re analytical doesn’t mean you’re thinking in a godly way. And just because you’re intuitive doesn’t mean you’re tuned in to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
A long time ago, something really bad happened called the Fall. People ever since Adam and Eve have been tainted by sin, like a drop of blue food coloring staining a whole cup of water pale blue. Our heart and head were not immune to these effects. Our mind is fallen and our emotions are too.
Even for those of us who have been saved by Jesus Christ and are indwelled by the Holy Spirit, we’re still fighting our own sinful natures. At times we can engage in unsanctified reasoning and indulge in unsanctified feeling. God isn’t directing those thoughts or inspiring those emotions, so if we let ourselves be guided by them, we can easily go astray.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Your mind can be renewed (see Romans 12:2), and your heart can be too (see Ezekiel 36:26). We’ve got a process that will help.
How to Make Holy Choices
Here is a step-by-step plan for discerning God’s will that we really like because it combines both heart and head in a way that subjects both to the wisdom of God.
Step 1. Define your situation.
Do you need to decide if the first date went well enough to try for a second date? Are you wondering what is appropriate physical touch in your relationship? Do you have some worries about compatibility with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Whatever your situation is, make sure you’ve clearly defined it for yourself so that you can specifically seek God’s will in the matter.
Step 2. Ask God to show you the larger context and spiritual influences affecting your situation.
Sometimes we forget that God has eternal purposes he is going to accomplish. A part of those eternal purposes is his master plan for you.
Your current love-life situation is being influenced by God; he wants what’s best for you. It is also being influenced by Satan, who is trying to keep you from following God and his desires for you so that you will experience the worst. So ask God to help you to look beyond the immediate circumstances to the big picture of his plan.
Step 3. Entrust your concerns to God.
Who or what is the current object of your trust and faith? Each one of us would immediately like to respond, “God, of course!” But if we are honest, who are we really trusting for the results in our current circumstances? Ourselves? Our boyfriend or girlfriend? Our friends? Our family members? Available resources, whether financial, physical or something else?
God is trustworthy. He has the ability to accomplish what concerns us (see Jeremiah 32:17). He is committed to our well-being (see Psalm 32:10). He will do what he promises (see Psalm 33:4). We can rest in his loving care and concern for us.
Step 4. Prepare yourself to hear God.
Sometimes we can’t discern God’s direction in our lives. This might be because we have sin in our lives. It might be because we need to humble ourselves before God. It might be because we’re not patient enough to wait for God. But whatever the reason, we need to remove obstacles within ourselves so that we can hear from God.
Step 5. Recognize the directional signposts.
Daniel 2:28 says, “There is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries.” We know God cares about us and will show us his plan. Once we have entrusted our situation or problem into his hands, we must expect his answer.
Be alert as God reveals his will to you through …
- his Word, the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16–17)
- the Holy Spirit who indwells you (John 14:26)
- godly people (Proverbs 11:14; 15:22)
- providential circumstances (Proverbs 16:9)
Consider what recent insights, impressions, counsel or signs have made an impact on you that may be from God.
Step 6. Test the step you’re considering.
James 1:5 provides clear direction when it tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Make sure the action you’re considering is from God. Ask yourself questions like the following:
- Does this action comply with the directions given in God’s Word?
- Does this solution demonstrate love for God?
- Does this resolution demonstrate love for others?
- Does this direction make sense when I use reasoning that is based on God’s truth?
- Does this revelation generate a supernatural inner peace and calmness that cannot be attributed merely to your circumstances?
Step 7. Take the next step by faith.
Once you have worked your way through the preceding steps and believe that you know God’s direction, take the next step by faith, knowing that God will redirect you if necessary. You can go forward with this assurance:
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. —Deuteronomy 31:8
The above article is an abridged version of Chapter 12 of the book, Soul Mate by God (Download the free ebook in PDF). Visit SoulMatebyGod.com for more resources.