Once you have accepted responsibility for your life, you will be tempted to backtrack, to again lay the blame for your ups and downs, your troubles and defeats at someone else’s door. But don’t become discouraged here—or misled. Temptation is something you hold in common with all people. And it too is something you must meet with whatever resources you have and be responsible for your response to it.
What is temptation? Many years ago, Smiley Blanton, a noted psychiatrist, offered a good definition:
Every day of your life, no matter how sheltered you are, you face some choice in which the wrong action is so seductive, so plausible, so pleasurable that it takes a conscious effort of will to reject it. Temptation is universal, as old as the Garden of Eden. Much of your happiness or unhappiness depends on your ability to handle it—instead of letting it handle you.1
You are driving down the highway in your new-to-you car. The speed signs limit you to 70 miles an hour. But the way is clear, no one is around, and you know the car really cruises at 85. The temptation is to step on the gas.
As a Christian, you are committed to tithing your income to the Lord, but the furniture is shabby and the sales are on. You are tempted to rationalize withholding your tithe “just this one time.”
You have promised to spend the evening with your family. A fellow worker, however, has two tickets to the deciding ball game of a crucial series. He wants you to go with him. You are tempted to go.
Temptation is something you hold in common with all people.
Temptation does not always appear as a terrible, undesirable, evil thing that you won’t want to do. You may have little or no problem saying no to something that you aren’t interested in doing. But you may be greatly tempted to say yes to something you want to do but know you shouldn’t. (Or it could be the reverse—something that you should do but don’t want to.)
Elisabeth Elliot observed:
“Choices will continually be necessary and—let us not forget—possible. Obedience to God is always possible. It is a deadly error to fall into the notion that when feelings are extremely strong we can do nothing but act on them.”2
At the moment of temptation, the thing may seem so right. An impulsive purchase that wrecks the household budget seems so right at the time. To teach someone a lesson who deserves a punch in the face, or at the very least a verbal lashing, seems so right in the passion of emotion. So right—except that the emotion that is telling you, “it’s the right thing to do,” can be so deceitful.
Ruby had the day off and was preparing for evening guests when her cell phone rang. Some friends were meeting downtown for lunch and wanted to know if she could join them.
“I’d love to meet you, but I really have so much yet to do before my company arrives this evening.”
“It’s just a quick lunch.”
“Well, I don’t know.” It was a difficult decision. She certainly wanted to join her friends, but she really did have a lot to do yet. What should she do? She faced temptation. This was not a critical choice, but it was a choice all the same.
Monica and her neighbor were golfing. It was a beautiful morning and they were about to tee off for the third hole when two men approached the women and asked if they could play through. Monica and her friend readily agreed. But before the men went on, one suggested that the women join them in their game. The women looked at each other. Monica had never faced this situation before. She was quite uneasy about the suggestion, but her neighbor agreed before she could think much about it.
The men proved to be great company—and most attentive. One of the men teed up Monica’s ball for her, pulled her bag, and offered some great advice on how she could improve her iron shots. Perhaps he was a bit too friendly, yet she enjoyed the attention.
After the game the foursome drank iced tea in the clubhouse. As they were about to leave, one of the men suggested they all have lunch together at a nice little restaurant nearby. Monica was tempted—the morning had been so much fun. To refuse took a definite act of her will, but she did it.
At home, as she reflected on her morning, she was upset that she had responded so warmly to this strange man. The morning had been filled with temptation, and she knew she needed to tell her husband. She found out—as you probably have—that temptation can pop up in the most unexpected places and in the most unusual ways. It can make you aware of desires that take you by surprise. The Bible tells us,
And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. —James 1:13–16
The temptations that bother most people are not those that clearly lead into sin. Not many people struggle with the temptation to steal. But the semi-visible testings are something else. It was not perfectly clear what choice Ruby should make. At what point should Monica have declined interacting with the two men? Each one of us has our own personal standards that we have chosen to live by; to fall short is to cause ourselves personal anxiety. If Ruby has set for herself a goal of having everything prepared for her guests, and then drops the project, it is likely she will not enjoy the luncheon or get her work done either. The apostle Paul said, “You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right” (Romans 14:22).
Everyone faces tempting circumstances. While I was writing this book, I was tempted to walk away from my writing for a day and attend a professional golf tournament that was playing in town. To take a break might have been all right, but I had committed myself to a deadline for finishing the manuscript. I resisted the temptation every day but one.
It was an exciting tournament. My enjoyment of it, however, was dampened by the fact that I had left an unfinished task behind. I constantly condemned myself for the thing I had allowed.
Preparing for the Test
In advance of a temptation you must make up your mind not to yield to it. Nevertheless, when temptation comes, you must reaffirm your previously made decision, and this will require a definite act of the will.
Character is forged from encounters with life that tempt you to do wrong. The erring attraction is always present. Paul reminded the Corinthians: “If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12).
It is good for people to share their experiences with one another. You may feel that no one faces the same temptation you do, but they do! As a counselor, I see this constantly. Someone struggles to tell of his temptations. At times, he relates, he overcomes them; at times, he fails. In telling his story he feels that he is revealing something that no one else has ever experienced. However, in almost every circumstance, I am able to assure him that I have heard his story before.
We are all tempted to please ourselves, but the pathway to inner peace is to lose ourselves in God’s way, to follow him and do his will at all costs.
Logan, a sincere Christian and deacon in his church, cannot keep his eyes off a woman who recently joined the church.
Jack has an impulse to slip that irresistible candy bar into his pocket.
Paula would like to give her neighbor a piece of her mind because the neighbor won’t keep her children out of Paula’s yard.
The person who thinks they are the only one to face a particular kind of temptation is inclined to justify yielding to it. However, the words of Paul challenge and encourage us:
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. —1 Corinthians 10:13
Choosing the way of escape is always a choice, and God is always ready to help you make that choice, but you must remember that your decision on whether or not to yield to temptation comes in the guise of a wrong action that is “so seductive, so plausible, so pleasurable that it takes a conscious act of the will to reject it.”3 The desire to do what you want to do, even though it is wrong, is always strong.
Jesus gave us a strange-sounding formula to help in these types of situations:
If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.
—Matthew 16:24–25
We are all tempted to please ourselves, but the pathway to inner peace is to lose ourselves in God’s way, to follow him and do his will at all costs. Inner peace comes to those who “seek the Kingdom of Godabove all else, and live righteously” (Matthew 6:33), to those who “pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness (1 Timothy 6:11). To enjoy God’s peace, you must “pursue the things which make for peace” (Romans 14:19, NKJV).
When Temptation Pursues You
Temptation will pursue you even when you seek to determine in what, or in whom, you will put your faith. If you choose the Bible as your guide, there will be those who will try to divert you from it.
In my early 20s I went through a period of rejecting the church, the Bible, and anyone who claimed to be a Christian. It was easy to find people who encouraged me in my rejection. I read educators and psychologists who made it quite clear that man was capable of taking care of himself without crutches such as church and the Bible. Scientific research, they said, would save us.
But God has his “persuaders” too. If you reject the Bible, there will be those who will challenge your decision and seek to “tempt” you to return to God’s Word and the things of the Lord. There were people in my life who knew me and who had been helped by the church, the Lord, and a study of his Word and they were not content to let me rest in my decision to walk away from God. They called me frequently and exerted great effort to get me to reconsider my position.
It was a long process, but after several years I returned to the church and renewed my faith in God and the Bible. During college and graduate school, I purposed in my heart, by faith, to use the Bible as my standard for conduct and for evaluating what I heard or read.
However, just as my friends in the church had not been content to let my rejection go unchallenged, so my fellow students and professors did not let my decision to accept the Bible as my guide go unchallenged. “How can you possibly explain putting your faith in the Bible and at the same time be a student of psychology?” they would ask. They tempted me greatly to again reject my faith. I wanted my friends and professors to respect and like me. But to have their full respect meant to put my faith where theirs was—in the idea that man is in a process of evolution, in the belief that with our own hands we can build a world of peace.
They never let me forget that every man has a right to choose how he will spend his life and that it is not right for one to impose his standards on another. But as I understood it, the kind of life a man will live is not a matter of his own opinion. Everyone will be judged someday, and the standard for judgment is the Bible. Holding to such a view, I stood alone. How great was the temptation to be like the people around me and embrace their ideology!
There are writers and speakers, some of them ministers and seminary professors, who are not convinced that the Bible is entirely the Word of God. To consider what they say is to court temptation to give up your reliance on the Bible. Something you read or hear on the radio, or in a speech, or in a conversation, or see on television, can tempt you to deviate from what you believe. This will be true whatever course you follow. Having chosen a way for yourself, you will be tempted incessantly to turn from it. And tempting you will be people you admire.
John came to see me with a sincere question that troubled him. “Some of the finest people I know are not Christians. They openly spurn the Bible. Yet they seem to be happy and get along well with other people. Some of the leading people in my church are much harder to get along with and do not appear to be as happy as those who are not Christians. If God’s way is the only way to peace, then why are these non-Christians happy with life and the Christians that I know are not?”
That’s a good question. It brings out the point made that one’s conduct does have an impact on others. This young man’s faith was being shaken by the behavior of professing Christians. According to his observations, it did not seem to matter if he did or did not place his faith in Christ and God’s Word.
John’s observations were correct, but you can become confused by observing others. The Bible tells us, “The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
Where will you place your faith? In the conduct of another person? In the words or writings of an individual? Or in God and his Word?
As a counselor, I see many people who are woefully unhappy individuals, but who never give any outward indication of it. A person’s outward behavior does not always give a measure of what is going on inside them. God “gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike” (Matthew 5:45). We must be careful about making judgments based on what we perceive to be another person’s happiness or contentment. Paul said, “So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall” (Romans 14:13).
Where will you place your faith? In the conduct of another person? In the words or writings of an individual? Or in God and his Word? You alone must make this choice and then face the ceaseless temptations to change your choice.
When John had questions about the conduct of Christians and their experience with life, it seemed reasonable to turn away from the Bible and to take the viewpoint followed by those who appeared happier. This young man had to make a choice.
Your Guide to Peace
Now it is my privilege to “tempt” you with my viewpoint. It is that I have discovered, and have helped others discover, that the Bible is your sure guide to peace.
I have learned that the man who violates biblical principles will be unhappy, whether he appears to be or not, just as the man who disobeys the rules of health will be sick, whether he looks like it or not. I say this by faith, but I also say it from experience. The unhappy, tense, anxious, miserable person who comes to a counselor for help is usually knowingly or unknowingly violating some biblical principle.
How do you approach the God who can give you inner peace? “It is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him” (Hebrews 11:6). The writer of Hebrews also tells us, “Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see” (11:1).
You must approach God by faith. You must trust him fully, with your mind set on him and his ways. “You [God] will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock” (Isaiah 26:3–4).
As you trust God, he will give you assurance that you are on the right path. However, trials, troubles, conflicts, other viewpoints, and unexpected failures on your part and on the part of people you admire will challenge your evidence. Allow these things to throw you back on faith alone.
A Challenge and Reward
Let me “tempt” you one more time. I want to invite you to a one-year test of studying and applying to your life what you find in the Bible. It takes time to study, to ponder, and to test what the Bible says. After all, a student who chooses a psychology career spends four years just getting a bachelor’s degree. At that point, the student is only a beginner in the field even though he has studied and tested many principles. It also takes time to study and test the guidance the Bible offers to those who trust God, its author.
God is waiting for you to turn to him.
Paul tell us, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2). We do not propose a simple, easy approach to inner peace. It is a struggle, with a starting point based on simple faith. There will be many temptations along the way to draw you aside. It is a pathway that is rejected by many serious, dedicated, sincere people.
The reward is still there for those who choose God’s way, in spite of the difficulties. And there is help along the journey. God is waiting for you to turn to him.
Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.—Hebrews 4:16
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
—Philippians 4:6–7Jesus said, “Ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!”
—John 14:14
And he followed that invitation with these words:
If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate (the Holy Spirit), who will never leave you. —John 14:15–16
If you want your prayers for help answered, become familiar with the commands of God in the Bible. Verbalize your longings before God, then wait to see what he will do. John 14:13 tells us, “You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.” If you have asked according to his will (that is, if you have prayed with the sincere desire that his will may be done and not your own), you will have what you asked for. It is yours if it fits into God’s plan. However, God’s plan is often not our plan! Isaiah 55:8–9 remind us: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”
And so we trust in God’s goodness, for “loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).
My challenge to you is to accept the Bible as your guide and to obey God’s commands fully. If you do, you will find that the Bible is a mirror in which you will see yourself as you really are. And when you see yourself, you will have a choice as to how you are going to respond. You will be tempted to look away and forget what you have seen. And in looking away you will soon become absorbed in counter attractions that will not let you return for a second look.
James 1:23-25 tells us,
For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. —James 1:23-25
If by faith you choose to address the issues in your life, you will find inner peace along the way as well as at the end of the road.
Peter wrote,
If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil. —1 Peter 3:10–12
In closing, consider two beautiful promises God makes to his people. They can be yours if you obey Him:
And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations. —Ezekiel 36:26–27
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” —Jeremiah 29:11–13
Be assured that God will do his part when you obey him … and your struggle for inner peace will be won.
Reflection Questions
- When and where do you most often experience temptation?
- How can you begin to more easily recognize the temptation in your life?
- Who in your life are you currently sharing your life experiences with?
- In what ways are the people you identified in question three helping you to live a more God-honoring life? Do you need someone else in your life to help you in this area?
- In what ways does the Bible currently guide your life?
Take One Action Step
Begin the one-year test of studying and applying to your life what you find in the Bible. Study, ponder, and test what the Bible says. Apply it to your life and experience the peace that God is offering you.