Up until that hot August day at Edna’s in 2004, I had stayed busy, living my version of a “good” Christian life by trying to love God and others. I’d lived this way because deep down in my soul, I thought I had to earn God’s love by doing “good” things and avoiding evil ones. I thought I didn’t really deserve God’s love and therefore needed to work for it. That lie went so deep that I interpreted all of Scripture through its distorted lens, so that even God’s Word, meant to bring freedom, held me in bondage.
That lie expressed itself in the life I lived; I raised our four children in bondage to it. Because I didn’t understand God’s love for me, I couldn’t share His love with them. They grew up going to church but not knowing the unconditional love from parents—which helps build a foundation for receiving God’s unconditional love.
It has taken time, but now I am coming to better understand and accept Jesus’ incredible, unfailing love. As the trials and sins in my shattered life pushed me to Jesus, I began just spending time again with Him—like I had when I was 16. And He began healing me from the inside out.
Initially, when I felt Jesus saying, “Mary, I love you,” I would respond with something like, “But I messed up …” Then I would tell Him what I hadn’t done that I should have or what I should have done but hadn’t. “But,” “but,” “but …” In my mind, hundreds of things I had done wrong in the past, was doing wrong now or might do wrong in the future excluded me from His love. I wouldn’t accept His love because I didn’t feel deserving of it. Each “but” was like a brick in the wall that sealed me off from receiving Jesus’ love.
Jesus didn’t give up on me though. He continued dismantling the wall brick by brick. For every “but,” He had a response. “Mary, don’t listen to the lies.” “There is no condemnation for those who are in Me.” “I love you.”
Over time, as I grew to understand more of His love for me, I was able to come to Him with greater and greater boldness. Knowing His love for me freed me to open hidden places in my soul, which previously I had not even known existed. Psalm 139:23–24 became my daily prayer. “Search me, O God and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
And always His response brought life and healing. “Mary, it isn’t about ‘good’ and ‘evil’ as you see it. You can’t be ‘good enough’ to earn My love, and I’ll never withhold it from you because you are ‘bad.’ The battle isn’t between ‘good’ and ‘evil’ as you see them, it is between life and death as I see them. I want life for you—because I love you.
“Mary, My dear one. Stop struggling and trying to figure it out. Only believe. Breathe in My love as you breathe in the cool, crisp air. Don’t fight it. It’s all around you. Just rest … and breathe … and live.”
Today His love continues to wash my soul of hurts, anxieties and guilt by removing the wrong thinking to which they cling. The very framework of my life is coming into alignment with Him. My mind is being transformed—my soul renewed—as I let the love of God embrace me. This is so exciting! In life now, I am actually coming to love others with God’s love!
God loves you with an infinite, sacrificing love! Nothing, absolutely nothing, can stop Him from loving you! And you can love others with the same love He lavishes on you! Incredible promises await!
God doesn’t love us because we are good, He makes us good because He loves us. His love makes us good—as He created us to be. God made our hearts with holes that can only be filled with His love. In His design, like a pair of magnets, Spirit and soul are drawn and locked together in the life-giving love of God. Our souls long to understand the words, “I love you.” Knowing the truth of these words brings transformation.
In Romans 12:2 Paul tells us, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind [soul], that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” The word “transformed” is from the Greek word metamorphoo. Through the process of metamorphosis, an lowly, crawling caterpillar is transformed into a beautiful, flying butterfly. And so we also are meant to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (souls). Such transformation will allow us to manifest God’s perfect, loving will.
Our soul—our mind, will and emotions—was designed to know and experience God’s love. God created us to be led by the Spirit—with our souls in willing surrender to the love of God.
When led by the Spirit, the soul rests from its works. In that rest of abiding love, we become our true selves. We become God’s channels to the world. We bear His image. We express His nature. We radiate His glory. We express God’s heavenly, spiritual love by loving others in earthly, physical ways—just as Jesus did.
Jesus taught us to pray, “Your kingdom come, Your willbe done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). God’s will comes to earth when we let it find a resting place in our mind, will and emotions—in our soul. We rule on earth, as Adam was created to, by letting God in our spirit be Master of our soul. God’s will—His glory and nature of love—comes to this world through us.
And as He shares His loving nature with us, His glory will be over all the earth. Isaiah 60:1–3 encourages us. “Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth. And deep darkness the people; But the LORD will arise over you. And His glory will be seen upon you.”
Satan opposes us in horrible ways to try and shake us from believing in and experiencing God’s complete love for us. We do not see the vastness of God’s love promises. We have not embraced the truth that “love [really] is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:10). To step out of the box of our incomplete Christian belief system requires a foundational shift in how we think of God. It requires that veils be stripped from our eyes so that we see God as He really is.
During the time of the Reformation 500 years ago, Martin Luther battled similar unbelief as he fought his way out of the mixed-up, partial belief system of the medieval Catholic Church. With resolute faith, he stood firm on God’s Word that everlasting life is a free gift to those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God. That truth is clear to us today because those in Luther’s time blazed a trail.
Now is the time for transformation. At this time in history, God is raising up a people to make clear the way of love and right living on earth. We hold up God’s Word, stand firm in faith and live a life of loving others. We live in obedience to Jesus’ New Covenant command, “Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12). We become living proof of His transforming love. Multitudes will follow when we, as fishers of men, cast our nets on the other side (see John 21:6) and fish for souls in this new way.
In God’s love, victory is assured. “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”(Romans 8:37).Nothing can hold us back because nothing can separate us from His love that makes it all possible. “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”(Romans 8:38–39).
Onward, forever loved!
Reflection Questions:
- Romans 12:2 encourages us to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” What truths is God using to change the way you think and transform your life from the inside out?
- How does God plan for His will to be done on earth? How do you see yourself being used by God to accomplish His will on earth?
- Are there promises from God’s Word that you are having a particularly hard time accepting? If so, can you identify what is preventing you from embracing these truths?
- Get alone in a quiet place and reflect on God’s love for you. Let Jesus show you something of how much He loves you. Record your experience.
- Imagine the earth being filled with the glory of God as His glory radiates out of you. Imagine His will coming to earth and expressing itself out through you. Imagine loving others as Jesus first loved you. Record something significant from this time.
