It is no accident that we start our tour of the sin families with the sin of pride. In some sense, pride is the foundational sin. As Bible commentator William Barclay declared, “Pride is the ground in which all the other sins grow, and the parent from which all rebellion against God’s commands.
Pride may also have literally been the first sin to pollute God’s creation. Many a theologian has speculated that what caused the angel Lucifer to rebel against God was pride—he would rather reign in hell than serve in heaven.1 We thus follow the Devil’s well-worn path into sin when we put our thoughts, feelings, and desires ahead of serving God.
And how easy it is to slip into pride!
As a young man in college and later in business, I (Bill) used to be proud of what I could do on my own. I believed that a man could do just about anything he wanted to do through his own effort, if he were willing to pay the price in hard work and sacrifice.
Then, when I became a Christian, the Bible introduced me to a different philosophy of life—a life of trusting God. It took me a while to see the inadequacy of trying to serve God in my own strength and ability, but that new life of faith in God finally replaced my old life of pride.
Others who are struggling with pride have the same opportunity to overcome this sin that I had and replace it with its opposing virtue, humility. We will shortly learn more about how to do just that. However, first we must find out how to distinguish between sinful pride and justifiable pride.
WHAT NUMBER IS YOUR PRIDE?
If a woman is pleased with herself because she received a promotion at work, is that kind of pride wrong?
And what about a father who is proud of his son when the boy makes the varsity football team? Is there anything ungodly about that?
While calling pride “the great sin,” C.S. Lewis, nevertheless, assured his readers that pleasure in being praised is not pride. Nor, he said, is there anything wrong in being proud of the accomplishments of someone dear to you (as long as you do not give yourself airs as a result).2 Even the apostle Paul said to some of his spiritual children, “I have the highest confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:4). Thus not everything that goes by the name of pride is wrong.
But a pridefulness that causes someone to think more highly of himself or herself than is justifi ed by the facts crosses the line—it becomes sinful. Certainly, any pride that ignores God, taking credit for His gifts, is to be condemned. The same goes for any pride that elevates one person by pressing another down.
Along these same lines, Frederica Mathewes-Green has distinguished between what she calls “Pride One” and “Pride Two.” According to her, Pride One is a narcissism that constantly compares itself with others. She says, “Pride One is always asking anxiously, Am I smarter than they are? Richer? Better-looking?”
Pride Two, meanwhile, is “more akin to confidence.” It is “a quiet, centered pride that is compatible with modesty because it doesn’t have a fretful need to show off.” It grows out of a realistic appraisal of one’s God-given gifts and cultivated abilities.
We should seek and encourage Pride Two, but at the same time we must remember that we are susceptible to Pride One. “This is why we need a Savior,” concludes Mathewes-Green. “We look so nice on the outside, but in the caverns of the heart vicious Pride is always brooding, ready to spring.”3
This sort of “vicious” or sinful pride is what we are concerned with in this chapter. And as with other parent sins, we have to recognize that pride does not stand alone. It is at the head of a family of sins related to a puffed-up ego. Together, they make up a dark rainbow of character qualities that are devilish rather than godly.
These sins of the ego fall into two larger categories: those involved when we think too highly of ourselves and those involved when we choose to act on our unrealistic self-evaluation.
ME, MARVELOUS ME
At least three key terms define the tendency of a person to think he or she is more wonderful than the next person. They are the terms conceit, vanity, and self-righteousness. Can you recognize your own attitude in any of these terms?
Conceit is an excessive appreciation of one’s own value or significance. Another word for it is arrogance. Ashleigh Brilliant once said, “All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.” That expresses the essence of conceit.
Is human conceit acceptable in God’s eyes?
On one occasion Paul wrote, “Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!” (Romans 12:16). On another occasion he wrote, “Let us not become conceited” (Galatians 5:26). God’s view of conceit could hardly come through any clearer than that.
Such conceit may take many different forms. One of these forms is vanity, or thinking highly of one’s appearance.
The foolishness of this type of pride should become apparent as soon as we really think about it. After all, who among us can take credit for how we look? God gives us our appearance through our genes. At most, we can maximize our appearance through diet, exercise, clothing, makeup, and the like. Even then, in time, our looks are destined to fade.
The apostle Peter told women of his day, “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes” (1 Peter 3:3).4 Women—and men—in our day could use the same advice. If we are good-looking, we can be thankful to God for it. But, we should never take our looks as grounds for pride.
While vanity is pride about one’s outward appearance, self-righteousness is pride about one’s inner being, that is, thinking highly of one’s own goodness or spiritual standing. This is a sin that religious people are particularly prone to—and it is a serious one. C. S. Lewis said,
There are two things inside me, competing with the human self which I must try to become. They are the Animal self, and the Diabolical self. The Diabolical self is the worst of the two. That is why a cold, self-righteous prig who goes regularly to church may be far nearer to hell than a prostitute. But, of course, it is better to be neither.5
Self-righteousness was exemplified by the Pharisees of Jesus’ day, who thought they made themselves acceptable to God through their pious deeds. Jesus once told a story about a Pharisee to a group who “had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else.” The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: “I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give You a tenth of my income” (Luke 18:9, 11–12).
This attitude of self-righteousness is alive and well in the twenty-first century. When we are self-righteous, we are both the judge and the accused—and we declare ourselves not guilty. We think God must love us because of all the ways we appear religious or moral on the outside.
Sadly, the self-righteous ignore the truth that none of us possesses any righteousness apart from the grace of God. For this reason, it was not the Pharisee in Jesus’ story but rather a repentant tax collector who found favor with God. “I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (Luke 18:14).
None of us has justifi cation for conceit, “spiritual” or otherwise. As the great preacher of the nineteenth century Charles Spurgeon said, “Be not proud of race, face, place, or grace.”
LOOK HERE
If you are conceited, vain, or self-righteous, you probably want others to know how great you are. There are different ways you can do that. Three key terms for these strategies are boasting, showing off, and selfish ambition.
Boasting may come in an obvious form, or it may be more subtle. If someone openly proclaims to you how much money he is making, there is no mistaking what is going on. The more sly boasters have perfected the art of dropping names and letting slip what they have accomplished or purchased or experienced. But this artfulness is really no different from more transparent forms of boasting; it is all meant to impress. Scripture takes a realistic view of boasting. “When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much” (2 Corinthians 10:18).
We are told in God’s Word that if we want to boast, we should learn to boast about the right thing. “This is what the LORD says: ‘Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the LORD’” (Jeremiah 9:23–24).
But in addition to attracting attention to oneself with words, a person can do the same through actions. That’s showing off.
Showing off may be pardonable in children. Every parent has heard a child cry, “Look at me!” and has indulged her by watching as she performs a cartwheel or him as he rides by on his two-wheeler. However, with grown-ups, showing off is not so cute.
What is displaying one’s intellect except showing off? What is clowning around so that the attention stays riveted on you? What is making sure others see your new car or fancy clothes? All this is the equivalent of calling out to the world, “Look at me!”
Is this acceptable behavior in God’s eyes? Hardly. “Don’t try to impress others,” He instructs us (Philippians 2:3).
Also, we are not to let selfish ambition determine how we live our lives. Certain types of ambition might be good, such as striving to do well at work in order to be able to provide for your family better. But selfish ambition is the single-minded pursuit of what you think you deserve, regardless of what it might cost others. The man who becomes a workaholic because he wants others to see him as a success, even though the overwork makes him a stranger to his family, is selfishly ambitious.
The church member who pursues a leadership position on a church committee because of the prestige it carries, not out of a desire to serve, is selfishly ambitious.
Our society applauds hard-charging, “self-made” men and women. But if that go-getter quality is actually an expression of selfish ambition, it is foolish and ungodly.
If…you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. —James 3:14–16
Those who are selfishly ambitious often display another quality of pride: impatience.
CLOCK CONTROL
One time your two authors were running late for a joint speaking engagement at a church. I (Bill) was driving, and I was exceeding the speed limit by several miles per hour in an attempt to get to the event location on time. It was wrong and I knew better, but I did it anyway.
Sure enough, I soon saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror and heard a siren approaching from behind. The process of pulling over and receiving a ticket took up more time than I would have saved by speeding all the way to the church. (The good news is that I got a chance to speak about Christ to the officer—though I would not recommend breaking the law to gain an opportunity to witness!)
When we are feeling prideful, we think we have the right to control our schedule, even if it means breaking the rules or making life harder for others. That is what I was doing when I was speeding, and it is what many of us do when we are concerned about our efficient use of time to the exclusion of all other concerns.
Working hard and trying to be a good steward of our time is one thing. After all, we are to “make the most of our time” (Psalm 90:12) and “make the most of every opportunity” (Ephesians 5:16; Colossians 4:5). But rushing and pushing as if our scheduling preference is what matters most is another thing altogether.
The Old Testament patriarch Abraham got impatient when God seemed lax in fulfilling His promise to give Abraham a son. When Abraham’s wife, Sarah, suggested that he have a child with her maid, Hagar, Abraham agreed. (See Genesis 16.) He and Hagar indeed did have a son, Ishmael, but this boy was not the fulfillment of God’s promise. Years later, God had to tell Abraham, “As for Ishmael, I will bless him… But my covenant will be confirmed with Isaac, who will be born to you and Sarah about this time next year” (Genesis 17:20–21).
We cannot rush God. We cannot control all the events in our lives. We must not forget that others might be trampled in our pursuit of our own timing for events. Therefore, we should not get restless and impatient. Of course, we need to be faithful and diligent, but at the same time, we can be resting in the fact that God is in charge of the times and seasons of our lives.
If our pride is expressed in impatience or in any other way, we need to face up to what we are really doing and why and what it will cost us.
THE PRICE OF PRIDE
Just as pride’s expressions are diverse, so are its causes.
Some people are born into privilege or were blessed by God with great physical beauty or other outstanding attributes. The flattery they receive can easily go to their heads.
Other people buy into cultural messages saying that pride is good. When singers or pop psychologists or others urge them to put themselves first, they take it literally.
Still, other people have a poor self-image that—paradoxically— expresses itself as pride. They are trying to make themselves feel better by getting strokes for their ego. (Believe it or not, it is possible to be arrogant and insecure at the same time.)
Given all this, we do not want to oversimplify our conception of pride. But at the same time, we want to be firm in saying that wrong types of pride are all alike in being sinful. In the words of the sixth-century desert ascetic John Climacus, “Pride is utter poverty of soul disguised as riches, imaginary light where in fact there is darkness. This abominable vice not only stops our progress but even tosses us down from the heights we have reached.” The sin of pride is disgraceful to the proud person, harmful to others, and dishonoring to God.
Through pride, we disgrace ourselves. In an often quoted (or misquoted) proverb, Scripture says, “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). If we present ourselves as greater than we are, we run the risk of looking foolish when our real nature begins to show itself. In fact, it is only a matter of time before we “fall” in this way.
In 1963 the writer John Steinbeck was in Russia and, feeling confident of his Russian language skills, preceded to breakfast at his hotel. He wrote shortly afterward, “So in our pride, we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast, and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda.”
In addition to the way pride bounces back and embarrasses the proud, so also pride injures those all around like a grenade that sends shrapnel flying. One person’s pride makes another person feel small, squelching that person’s self-respect. That’s why Paul urged us not to become “puffed up” with knowledge but instead to “build up” other people. (See 1 Corinthians 8:1 NIV.) In a reverse of pride, we are to think of others “as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).
Worst of all, pride is a snub toward God. It indicates we have forgotten that we are mere created beings, finite and flawed. It takes credit for what God has done for us. Ultimately, then, pride is a faith issue because it causes us to focus on ourselves, ignoring what God has done and disobeying what He has commanded.
One time Jesus called a small child over to Him and put the child among the people He was speaking to. Then He said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 18:2–3). To become as a little child means to become humble. If we want to be right with God, we have to ask God to replace our pride with humility.
Humility is a quality every Christian should possess. As Puritan pastor Richard Baxter said, “Humility is not a mere ornament of a Christian, but an essential part of the new creature. It is a contradiction in terms, to be a Christian, and not be humble.”
But what, exactly, is humility?
THINKING LESS OF ONESELF AND THINKING OF ONESELF LESS
Is humility thinking that you have no value or that you are the worst person who ever lived? Is it abasing yourself and cutting yourself down every chance you get?
No, of course not. Humility is being realistic about the human condition. This means we recognize that whatever advantages we possess were given to us by God. It means we recognize that as sinners we are not so different from other people. And most importantly it means we recognize that, compared to God Himself, we are not marvelous at all.
Esther de Waal put it well when she said, “Humility is facing the truth.”
It is useful to remind myself that the word itself comes from humus, earth, and in the end simply means that I allow myself to be earthed in the truth that lets God be God, and myself his creature. If I hold on to this it helps prevent me from putting myself at the centre, and instead allows me to put God and other people at the centre. For if I want to return to God I must reverse the destructive journey of Adam and Eve which began with that subtle temptation to be as gods.6
When we are realistic about who we are, we stop trying to magnify ourselves and start magnifying God instead. It is no wonder that the apostle Paul told us, “Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us” (Romans 12:3).
It has been said that humility is not only about thinking less of yourself but also about thinking of yourself less. Of course, thinking of yourself less is no easy task. So insidious is pride that one can even become proud of being humble. (At that point, though, you are not really humble anymore!)
Benjamin Franklin recorded in his autobiography, “There is, perhaps, no one of our national passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself.… Even if I could conceive that I had compleatly [sic] overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.”7
Still, humility is possible for us to achieve. It is possible when we surrender our pride to the Holy Spirit’s ministrations. He will make us humble. And as He does so, He will make us more like Christ.
Humility is being realistic about the human condition.
Beginning at His birth in a manger, and throughout His life as a carpenter and itinerant rabbi, Jesus dwelt among humankind humbly. “Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross” (Philippians 2:6–8). Along the way, He taught His disciples about servant leadership (see Matthew 20:25–28), and demonstrated it visibly by washing the dust from their feet (see John 13:1–17).
As followers of Christ, we are to model ourselves after our humble Lord. As Paul taught, “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:5).
And then, God elevated Him “to the place of highest honor” and “gave Him the name above all other names” (Philippians 2:9), so also we will be raised up in honor by God if we will first voluntarily lower ourselves in humility. “Those who humble themselves will be exalted” (Matthew 23:12). “Take the lowest place at the foot of the table. Then when your host sees you, he will come and say, ‘Friend, we have a “better place” for you!’” (Luke 14:10). “Whoever wants to be fi rst must take last place and be the servant of everyone else” (Mark 9:35).
We should not pursue humility for the sake of its rewards; rather, we should pursue it because it is right. But if we are humble, we can expect God to bless us for it. As Jack Miller put it, “Grace runs downhill to the humble.”
If you need to think less of yourself and think of yourself less, begin the spiritual healing process now. The Holy Spirit will help you identify ungodly pride in your life and replace it with Christlike humility.
SOUL PRESCRIPTION FOR PRIDE
Are you struggling with a form of sinful pride? We have outlined a five-step process to help you work through the repair of that area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.
Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God
When you have a distorted view of who God is, you will not give Him the reverence and respect which are due to Him. As a result, your arrogance will be free to develop until you suffer the consequences of your pride.
Consider some truths about God that will help you with your pride problem.
• God is infinitely superior to us. He is absolutely perfect and we are not.
How can a mortal be innocent before God? Can anyone born of a woman be pure? God is more glorious than the moon; He shines brighter than the stars. In comparison, people are maggots; we mortals are mere worms.
—Job 25:4–6• God has supreme authority over us. He determines our eternal future.
How foolish can you be? He is the Potter, and He is certainly greater than you, the clay! Should the created thing say of the one who made it, “He didn’t make me”? Does a jar ever say, “The potter who made me is stupid”?
—Isaiah 29:16
If you tend to think too highly of yourself, focus more on the greatness of God. Undertake a Bible study on the nature of God, especially His majesty and power. Ask God to reveal Himself more clearly to you.
Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs
God wants His people to be living examples of His love to others. Yet pride is the single greatest obstacle to loving people. Reflect on your attitudes with the help of the questions that follow
• Do you think you are better than others?
What gives you the right to make such a judgment?
What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift? —1 Corinthians 4:7• Do you think that you are indispensable?
By the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. —Romans 12:3 NIV
• Do you think that your accomplishments and position entitle you to special favor?
It’s not good to eat too much honey, and it’s not good to seek honors for yourself. —Proverbs 25:27
Such beliefs are all self-centered, self-appreciating, and degrading to others. Even so, your identity in Christ is not to be one of selfish ambition and pride but rather one of self-denial and grace-filled humility. Allow Scripture to inform your views of yourself, other people, and life in general so that you will not be proud in a sinful way.
Step 3: Repent of Your Sin
The hardest thing for a proud person to do is admit that he or she is wrong. Are you prepared to do that? If so, give your type of pride a specific name (conceit, vanity, or whatever).
Then pray the following prayer (or a similar one of your own making) in faith that God will forgive your sin and empower your obedience. Insert the name of your particular type of pride in the blanks.
God, I know I have sinned by __________. I am sorry for the pain I have given to You and to the people around me. Please forgive me for my sin. Wash away all of the __________ from me. And by Your Spirit, give me the strength to sin no more in this area but instead to live in humility. In Christ’s name, amen.
If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.
Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks
Pride is easy to slip back into after you have repented. You can even become proud of your humility! Be certain that the world, the flesh, and the Devil will do all they can to pull you back into your sin of pride.
- The values of the world system are topsy-turvy, including promoting pride as a positive thing. The world system gives us messages like “You should think highly of yourself” and “Try to keep yourself in the spotlight.” Overcome the world by inviting God to transform your thinking so that you come to agree with Him about the importance He places on humility.
- Your flesh (sinful nature) craves the good feeling it gets when you inflate your ego and selfishly seek attention from others. So remind yourself that your sinful nature is actually already dead. Cooperate with the Holy Spirit, who seeks to magnify God, not God’s creatures.
- Satan will lay opportunities in your path that will make it easy for you to exercise your pride. Resist his schemes by putting on the whole armor of God. Especially use the “belt of truth” (Ephesians 6:14) by reminding yourself that God is the one who deserves honor, not you.
Spiritual attacks will never cease. So remain alert. The power of God is more than enough to defend you against spiritual attacks so that you may continue to live in a way that is consistent with your repentance.
Step 5: Flee Temptation
You will never fully be able to escape temptations to be proud. But you can significantly reduce these temptations—and thus improve your chances of remaining free of pride—if you will just take specific steps to avoid temptation.
- Focus on your relationship with God. Strengthen your devotional life. In particular, focus on giving God glory and humbling yourself before Him.
- Latch on to God’s promises. Search the Scriptures for truths about pride and humility, then memorize the verses that you think can best help you to resist pride. Recall these verses whenever temptation arises. The following are a couple of verses you might want to memorize.
Anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. —Matthew 18:4
Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. —1 Peter 5:6
• Establish safeguards.
Make changes in your lifestyle that will reduce your temptation to be prideful. Be bold here! Be creative! These are a few possibilities to get your thinking going:
- If you tend to look down on people of a lower social class than your own, volunteer to serve some of society’s down-and-outers.
- If you are proud of your looks, get rid of the clothes or makeup which you think flatter your looks the most.
- If you like to show off by driving up in a flashy car, trade it in for a vehicle that is more modest and practical.
- Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not be prideful.
- Expect victory.
Do not focus on your failures of the past but rather on God’s ability to give you lasting victory over pride. Believe that He will implant a more humble attitude in your heart—for good. And give Him the praise in advance!
Visit www.SoulPrescription.com for more insights and resources, and to download a free leader’s guide for small group Bible studies.