65801 1. Indestructible

As a professional counselor I’ve met with men and women from all walks of life; lawyers, janitors, doctors, dentists, nurses, factory workers, business people, waiters and waitresses, tradespersons, executives, laborers, the unemployed, the rich and the poor, the educated and the uneducated, those from good homes and those from miserable homes. When these people came to see me, they all had one thing in common: they came in to find relief for their unhappy, frustrated, hopeless situations resulting from their response to the conditions and people in their lives.

Many of these people faced conditions that could not be reversed—being fired from their jobs, bankruptcy, poverty, a broken marriage, miserable home conditions, mean people, rejection, maimed bodies, the death of a key person in their lives.

Only God can satisfy our thirsty souls.
Only God can provide our hungry souls with what we truly need.

As I met with these people, I discovered that if they were to have any hope for restoring or finding happiness, it must happen within themselves. Throughout my many years of counseling, it has been my joy and satisfaction to observe thousands of dejected, desperately unhappy people turn into radiant, contented, happy persons as they have opened themselves to the resources of God alone.

As the Psalmist has said:

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His loving kindness is everlasting … For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good. —Psalm 107:1, 9, NASB

Only God can satisfy our thirsty souls. Only God can provide our hungry souls with what we truly need. And discovering the resources freely given to us by him is what this book is all about.

A colleague once shared with me a story about a group of young people he called “indestructible.” These individuals lived under extreme poverty with very bad home conditions which were located in slum neighborhoods. Yet, they were all well-adjusted and good students.

As I listened to him describe this group of individuals, I thought about some of the people I’ve met who I would describe as “indestructible.”

It is true that we cannot prevent difficult, traumatic, or sad events from intruding into our lives. But we can live fully, happily, and positively one day at a time. But in order to do that, we must rely on our power of choice, whether our problems are resolved today or not.

Lori and Rob Press On

I once knew a couple who weathered a storm that would destroy most people. Lori and Rob had been married sixteen years and had three children ages fifteen, thirteen, and ten. The family often did things together; hiking, playing tennis, camping, attending church, entertaining friends, skiing. Rob had an executive position with a prestigious company and Lori stayed at home and managed their home and the children’s activities.

Then, without any warning, the company Rob worked for unexpectedly closed. Suddenly this family was faced with no income, and at a time when they were building a new house. Yet, there was no panic.

Lori trimmed the grocery budget and reassured Rob that she was trusting God to help them in this crisis. They prayed together and patiently waited as Rob looked for another job. They used his free time for family fun—inexpensive activities, of course. They went on picnics in the park, hiked over trails, played tennis at the public courts, and went bicycling.

Faith and hope enabled them to live
above their difficult circumstances.

Rob reassured Lori that he wasn’t afraid—or worried. His faith was in God, and he was enjoying this time of watching an uncertain future unravel. In a few months, he found another job. Lori and Rob now look back on that period of time as one of the best of their lives.

They are among the indestructible. Their faith and hope enabled them to live above their difficult circumstances.

Mr. Davis, the Ditch Digger

Mr. Davis lived next door to my family when I was a teenager. It was during the turbulent years between 1930 and 1933—the height of the Great Depression.

People by the droves were out of work; many families were losing their life savings as a result of bank failures and were being evicted from their homes. Suicides were frequent. Nervous breakdowns were common.

Strangely enough, I remember the depression years as happy, positive ones for me, partially because of Mr. Davis.

He was a highly skilled, and highly paid, tool and die maker. With the downturn in the economy, Mr. Davis suddenly was without a job or a paycheck. He, along with many others, looked for what few jobs that were available. The best he could do was get a job with the Work Progress Administration, an agency developed by the government to employ those without work to carry out public works projects, including the construction of public buildings and roads. His assignment: dig ditches. This was in the days when the ditches were dug by hand, with a shovel and an ax.

This seemed a terrible thing to me. Imagine this highly skilled craftsman digging ditches!

Without complaining, Mr. Davis went to his job every day. At night he returned home, his attitude as positive as if he had his old job.

We had a big front porch on our house, and many nights the people from the neighborhood would gather on our porch. This man was one of them. One night he got to talking enthusiastically about the fine art of digging ditches and how he was enjoying the opportunity of working outdoors and using his strength to accomplish a task.

“I’ve never felt better in my life,” he commented.

The boys in my neighborhood were so fascinated by his enthusiasm that we went to watch him. Most of the men who worked with him were leaning on their shovels, looking miserable. Not our neighbor. He was busy digging.

When he saw us, he stopped to take us on a quick tour. He showed us how to dig a ditch. We were amazed. His ditches were straight and uniformly deep with firm sides.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” he exclaimed. He was actually proud of his ditches.

I remember one night we were all sitting on the porch, watching the sun go down. The sunset was beautiful, and this neighbor was overtaken with enthusiasm. I mean really excited! About a sunset.

“What a beautiful sunset!” he exclaimed. “What a miracle to watch!”

Even though he had experienced a letdown that would have depressed many, he could get excited about a sunset.

It is not the task that is important,
but the spirit we bring to that task.

One night, he announced that he had been made foreman. He was filled with compassion and pity for his men. Many of them refused to accept their lot in life and spent the day moaning and complaining. Our neighbor now had a new enthusiasm for his job. He was excited about the challenge of lifting his men out of despondency and showing them how to be thankful for the work they had to do.

As I watched this highly skilled craftsman find a challenge and satisfaction in whatever was before him, I realized he had mastered a pivotal life principle: It is not the task that is important, but the spirit we bring to that task.

Mr. Davis brought an undaunted spirit to every task and experience. As a result, he was happy and successful.

The next spring, he planted a garden. He was thrilled with the garden and worked in it every evening. The entire process fascinated him.

“What a miracle,” he would say. “Look at everything grow.”

To others, a garden was just dust, mud, and hours of bending over. To my neighbor, it was a miracle.

Mr. Davis had a faith that sustained him. He depended on God to provide for him. His faith could be summed up in these verses from the Bible:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
—Proverbs 3:5–6

Other Indestructible Individuals

There were other people in the neighborhood who lived by the same faith. Many nights the conversation on our front porch turned to what to do about unpaid taxes, unpaid bills, postponed car repairs, or house repairs, because there was no money. The adults would talk about someone who had had his car repossessed or who had lost a home, or about standing in line for welfare checks. Frequently, they would pray together, expressing their faith in a guiding God, asking him to comfort their friends. They prayed for each other, too, reaffirming their own faith and asking God for peace and wisdom.

Those prayers seemed to settle everything—there was nothing to worry about. God was in control and these people rested in his provision.

One night one of the men suggested, “Let’s build a tennis court. We don’t have any money, but we’ve got lots of energy.”

And so a plan was drawn up to build a clay court. I spent many hours pulling a heavy roller. Others used rakes, hoes, and shovels. After many weeks, we were done. What a day it was when we all lined up and looked at the brand-new lines made of white lime. We were so proud!

We spent many happy hours playing tennis on that court made by our own hands.

All of these neighbors were people of faith. They didn’t know what their future held, but they trusted God to take care of them. These people were indestructible. They had an optimism and a hope that carried them through the Great Depression.

Mr. Davis Faces Another Crisis

Thirty years after the Great Depression, Mr. Davis underwent another difficult experience. After the uncertain years of the Depression, he had secured a good job with a great company. Unfortunately, the company went bankrupt. In one day, his job was gone and so was the retirement plan he had contributed to for twenty years. It was no surprise to me that he met this problem with the same faith he had shown back in the 30s.

Over the years, other neighbors also faced many difficult problems, but their faith and hope did not rest on changeable circumstances or the mistakes of other people. Their source of faith and hope is best described by another Bible passage:

For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. —Philippians 4:11–12, NASB

How can you join the ranks of the unusual people who find happiness no matter what their situation is? How can you enjoy life in the face of a financial failure, a negligent husband, an unresponsive wife, or a job setback? How can you handle maddening daily schedules? How can you get beyond little, everyday irritants? How can you handle lonely moments or decisions when no one stands with you—not even your family and friends? In other words: how can you find happiness and contentment in your current life situation?

There is a way!

Questions for Reflection/Discussion:

  1. How do you typically respond to difficulty in your life?
  2. In what ways does society hinder us from facing our difficulties in a productive way?
  3. In what areas of your life are you currently seeking happiness?

Memorize: Proverbs 3:5–6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.